📚 hesitant-desire Part 1 of 1
Part 1
hesitant-desire-1
LESBIAN SEX STORIES

Hesitant Desire 1

Hesitant Desire 1

by mrs_macenzie
19 min read
4.71 (23200 views)
adultfiction

Author note: This is my entry for the

Pink Orchid 2025 for Women-Centric Erotica Challenge

.

"I didn't know this place had a gym," the taxi driver said conversationally as he pulled up in the drop-off zone.

"Just opened," I lied, leaning forwards and pressing my bank card on the reader until it beeped to say the transaction was complete.

"Thanks, love. Have a good night," he said as I opened the door and got out, the cold London evening air chilling my exposed stomach. I hurried across the pavement and into the hotel lobby, my gym bag slung over my shoulder. Over time I'd got used to these upmarket business hotels, populated by people whose employers were paying and had no issues with the markup at the hotel bar. My pink sports bra and navy leggings were an outlier among the grey suits of the other guests, though, and I walked with an ease that belied the fact that I had an appointment to keep.

"Can I help you?" a security guard asked as I approached the lifts, holding up a pudgy hand to stop me.

"I've got a training session with a client," I explained, tapping my gym bag impatiently. "Will you call the lift for me?"

"I'm afraid I can't just let you go on your own. Could your client come down to meet you?"

I rolled my eyes and made a show of getting my phone out of my bag and checking the time. "I'm already late. Just let me go up; I know where I'm going."

"Sorry, miss. If you can call the client to meet you, that's fine."

He wasn't an especially intimidating security guard, but sometimes those were the worst types: the jobsworths who couldn't rely on being able to pick you up and toss you onto the street.

I let out a noise of frustration. "She's already called down to the front desk to let them know to expect me." Looking over at the queue for the desk, I didn't fancy it one bit. "Don't make me stand in a line for no reason?"

The guard eyed me for a moment, but I wasn't going anywhere. I blasted him with a thousand-watt smile and blinked my eyelashes. "Alright, go on," he said, taking the swipe card that was hanging around his neck and using it to authorise the lift for me.

"Amazing, thank you so much," I said, beaming at him until the doors slid shut behind me. Then I let the smile drop and double-checked my appearance in the mirrored side of the lift while it rumbled upwards.

I'd done my hair in a ponytail, to match the personal trainer outfit, and I tucked a loose tress of dark curls behind my ear so I could make sure my makeup was still perfect. The sports bra compressed my tits, which wasn't especially comfortable nor was it their best look, but the tight leggings showed off my hips and arse to perfection. In fact, the only issue with my outfit was a grey scuff on the toe of my otherwise pristine white trainers, which must have happened when I got out of the taxi. I rubbed it clean with a tissue from my bag, which I hurriedly stuffed back away again when the lift arrived at the right floor.

As I walked, I rechecked the message on my phone from Maria to remind myself of the room number.

Maria: Room 319, London North Grand hotel

Bella: Wonderful, thank you :) See you at seven x

I was glad I checked, because I'd somehow remembered the number as 329 which was on the complete opposite side of the floor. Possibly I'd done an outcall here before and been in 329. In any case, 319 was all the way at one end of the corridor, and I reached it just as the time on my phone ticked over to 18.59. Perfect. I paused for a moment to take a breath and collect my thoughts before knocking firmly three times.

The interval between knocking on the hotel room door and its opening were by far the most nerve-wracking of the job. All kinds of possibilities would run through my head about what might be about to happen. As a black woman working as an escort I had to hold my own and more than once I'd had to leave a client because he wouldn't respect my boundaries. In this case, I reviewed the job I'd accepted from the agency: solo female, outcall, two hours. Usually this was the kind of job I would say no to. Solo female often meant a couple who thought they'd either get a threesome for no extra charge, or a more 'authentic' experience if the woman booked the escort. Even if not, two hours was rarely long enough with someone I had never met before, especially a woman. But my golden rule was 'trust your instincts' and something about Maria seemed to feel right.

As if to prove my rule, I'd been on an outcall that morning at Heathrow with Charles, a Canadian gentleman I'd seen before a few times. He had a layover in the UK en route to Germany with time to kill. He was a sweet guy, the married type who used escorts to live out the fantasies his wife wouldn't do, and I'd spent three enjoyable hours with him having breakfast, a long bath, and then letting him do my "A-Levels". It was rare to get a job that was fun from start to finish and it built my confidence that this evening could be good too. I liked female clients; unlike some of the other escorts at the agency, who were more interested in offering soft, performative bi-play, I actually enjoyed lesbian sex.

There was the soft click of the door handle from the other side and it opened, slowly and cautiously. I smiled and took my first look at Maria as she appeared: tall, slim figure, quite pretty, hair cut into a blonde bob, at least forty. Her office-appropriate blouse and skirt suggested she was in London for work and the red tinge of her cheeks made me think she'd probably had some Dutch courage. She certainly looked nervous as she took me in, her eyes all over me, matching me to the pictures the agency sent.

"I'm Bella," I said, hoisting my gym bag a little higher on my shoulder. "Seven o'clock?"

"Of course," she said quickly, laughing at nothing. "I'm Maria. Come in."

I followed her into the room. I'd worked at the London North Grand Hotel before; it had been refurbished a couple of years ago, about the time they beefed up the security. It mainly catered to business types and the rooms had video conferencing capabilities, but they were still spacious and comfortable. Personally I quite liked them, and the bathrooms were always spotless.

Maria stood by the bed, her hands pressed firmly into her thighs in a transparent attempt to stop fidgeting. Pleased not to see a husband lurking in the corner, I put my bag down on a side table and held up my phone.

"If you don't mind paying me, I'll let the agency know I'm here," I explained.

"Oh, yes. Absolutely." Maria dashed over to her handbag, which was sitting on top of her suitcase in one corner of the room, and returned a few moments later with a neat pile of cash.

"Two hours?" I confirmed, and she nodded, handing me the money. I counted it before putting it into my bag, then texted the agency number to say where I was. I waited for their confirmation to come through before locking my phone and zipping it into my bag with the money.

"Okay," I said brightly, looking at Maria. She hovered near me, unsure what she should be doing, so I tried to put her at ease. "This is your first time using an escort?" I asked in a friendly way, making eye contact.

"Um... yes."

"Well don't worry, you're in safe hands with me. Do you have anything specific in mind, or do you want me to take the lead?"

"Um... I'm not sure. I don't know."

"That's okay. Often it's nice to spend the first fifteen minutes or so getting to know each other a little."

"Um... okay."

It was like blood from a stone and I looked at her again. What colour there had been in her cheeks had gone and she was looking grey and pained. I knew this reaction: whereas old hands like Charles were experienced and enthusiastic, sometimes new clients would start to change their mind when the session actually began. I was ready to open my mouth and suggest we sit down on the bed when she suddenly spoke first.

"Maybe this is a bad idea," she said, and it was like a dam breaking. "I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I was lonely, or questioning, or something, but I'm married and my husband doesn't know about this. I think it might be best to just, well, you can keep the money, of course, that's no problem, you've come all this way and everything, and I mean, thank you, I appreciate it, but it's... I think it's a mistake."

When she finished, she stopped staring at the carpet and looked at me. I could have taken the opportunity to get paid for nothing, and Maria didn't seem like the type to dismiss me and then leave a bad review, but I could tell that she didn't really mean what she said. She was nervous and anxious and feeling out of her depth, but shy, retiring women didn't hire escorts to come to their hotel rooms. There was some confidence in her: I just needed to find it.

"It's completely up to you," I said, holding my hands up. "You need to feel comfortable with me and consent is everything, of course. But if I could make a suggestion?"

Biting her bottom lip, she nodded.

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"The baths in this hotel are really nice, they've got those bubble jets and they're huge. Why don't you let me run you a bath? We can chat while it's getting ready and then you can relax in the water. If we do that and you're still not sure, I'll go."

"I don't know," she said, furrows appearing on her forehead.

"Think of it as networking. You can talk to a self-employed woman running her own business; I can learn from your expertise. What is it that you do?"

She laughed gently, and with relief I sensed the first thawing of the ice. "I'm in deal origination," she said.

"Oh, perfect! Making business happen, right? Are you in M&A?"

"Um, yes, that's right. I'm down in London working on an acquisition, actually." She seemed surprised that I'd heard of her role. The tension was leaving her shoulders and I smiled.

"Must be tough; I don't know if I could handle all the stress of negotiating," I said, taking steps in the direction of the bathroom. "I've always been rubbish at that kind of thing. Even now I just put my prices for everything up front and never change them. I'm probably missing out on opportunities, though." She watched me switch on the bathroom light and go over to the bath, putting on the hot water tap and letting the water swirl into the bottom.

"It takes a lot of practice. Some people are better than others, but it's a skill everyone can learn," she said, warming up. "I'm sure you're not as bad as you think."

"Being an escort has really made me learn how running a business works. It sounds stupid, right?" I asked, laughing when I saw her smiling. "But I have to manage my time; approve the agency's marketing; read reviews and feedback... Plus there's expenses to keep track of. These leggings make my bum look great, but they're almost a hundred quid each."

When I mentioned them, I saw Maria's eyes sliding down to my bottom half and felt a little glow of satisfaction.

"Then there's agency fees... but don't let me bore you with all this," I said, finding some of the hotel's complimentary bubble bath and squeezing it into the water.

"Oh, no, it's not boring at all," she insisted, still standing in the doorway, watching me.

"If you'd like to go and get undressed, I'll finish getting this ready?" I suggested. "I promise I won't look. If you don't want me to."

She smiled, some of her nerves returning. "Um... okay."

"I'll shout when we're good to go. No rush."

Once the bath was two-thirds full of hot, lavender-smelling water, I double-checked the temperature and laid out some hotel towels on the floor. Before I called for her, Maria returned, hair pinned up, wearing a fluffy white dressing gown and barefoot.

"You want to get in?" I suggested.

"I think so."

"I'll look away if it makes you feel more comfortable."

"No... it's okay."

So I watched her as she stepped onto the towels and gently shrugged off the gown. She was narrow-waisted and lean with prominent hip bones and long legs, and as she climbed into the water and turned to sit down I could see that her small pink nipples were sticking out from her slim boobs. A moment later she'd immersed herself in the water up to her neck and stretched her legs out, sighing gently. But she looked at me as I found a seat on the edge of the bath and I could tell she was self-conscious.

"Will you tell me about yourself, Bella?" she asked shyly.

I realised I'd been thinking about her nipples and not focusing on work.

"Of course! I grew up here in London and I'm single, as you might have guessed, so I live on my own. I love travel; I've been to twenty-three countries so far."

"Which ones?"

Her question was a little bit unexpected and I had to take a second to process.

"Oh, which countries?"

"Yeah, most recently."

"Um, I was in Morocco just before Christmas, and before that, Austria and Switzerland."

"We've taken the kids skiing in Switzerland. It's beautiful there."

"That sounds really nice. You can ski?"

Maria nodded gently, staring into the bubbles. "Learnt when I was a child."

"I really want to learn, but you have to stick to it for a while, right? I get restless if I stay in one place too long," I explained. "Anyway, I love travel, I love to read, and I love dogs. I can't have one of my own because of all the travelling, but a few of my friends have dogs, so when they go away I dogsit and it's just the cutest time."

She glanced over at me and smiled slightly, but didn't make any reply.

"What about you? Do you read? Any pets?"

"Oh... I used to read more, before I had a family, but not so much now. I have to read a lot for work."

"I understand. You want your free time to be a change from work."

"Exactly."

"Sometimes I get home and I think: the last thing I want to do right now is have more sex. Give me beans on toast and a good book instead."

This made her laugh, her bony shoulders shaking gently as she covered her mouth with a wet hand.

"So, what do you do for fun?" I asked, wanting to keep the conversation going.

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"Um... my husband and I are in a tennis club. We play on Sundays."

"You won't need me as your personal trainer, then. I hear tennis is a great workout."

She nodded, absent-mindedly scooping up clumps of bubbles in her palm before pushing them under the surface. "And, well, that's it, I think. Work keeps me busy, and the kids. If I have free time, I usually just sit in front of the TV."

"Still, it must be nice to be busy sometimes," I said optimistically.

"Sometimes," she repeated.

Talking about TV shows wasn't going to start moving things in a sexy direction, and Maria showed no sign of wanting to either get out of the bath or invite me into it. Two hours had become a bit over ninety minutes and I sensed that I needed to be more decisive.

"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" I asked, my eyes on her.

She seemed a little surprised and lifted her head. "Um... it depends."

I wasn't really asking for permission, rather I was just trying to prepare her for a change in conversational direction, so I just ploughed on.

"Does your husband know you're bisexual?"

Maria didn't reply for about twenty seconds; long enough that I thought I might have made a serious mistake.

"It's okay if you don't want to answer, I just thought it would help me to understand who you are," I said apologetically.

"It's not that... it's just... nobody has ever called me bisexual before."

"Oh, right. Do you think you're a lesbian instead?"

She'd gone back to biting her lip in concentration. "No, well, it's... I've never been with a woman before. So I don't know if I like it. And if I don't, then maybe I'm not bisexual. Does that make sense?"

"Let me ask you this: are you attracted to me?" I countered.

Now she looked at me again and blushed. Her cheeks went a pale pink, but red blossomed all over her neck, and I didn't think I'd ever seen someone blush like that.

"Yes," she said, in little more than a whisper.

"Then you're into girls. You don't need to label it, but you also don't need to have sex to know who you're attracted to. It's not about sex, really."

"But-"

I knew she was going to protest and I cut across it. "I knew I liked girls since I was ten, but I didn't have sex with a girl until I was eighteen. I still knew I was definitely not straight. You should have more confidence in who you are."

I'm not sure whether it was because I was younger than her, or because she was paying me or what, but for the first time, she found her voice.

"I just know I need to have the sexual experience before I... know who I am," she said decisively. "It might have gone differently for you.."

I couldn't afford to be hurt or argumentative. This was my opening.

"Okay: I completely understand," I said softly, giving her a moment to let her frustration melt into the warm water. "I'd love to help you to have that experience."

Our eyes met, as I thought they would, and I smiled, slipping my hand down between my thighs and onto my clit through my leggings. I started rubbing, more for the look of it than anything, my lips parting. Maria looked at my hand moving and blushed again, more fiercely. When she looked at my face again, I leant in, the steam from the bath warming my neck as I touched my lips against hers for the first time.

She froze, and then instead of kissing me back as I had expected, she pulled away, the bathwater splashing.

"I... it feels... I'm not ready," she stammered, and I sat up again, annoyed that I pushed too far too fast. I took my hand away from my clit and arranged my face into a smile.

"We can take as long as you need: nothing has to happen today. I'm sorry if you felt at all pressured," I said, starting to get worried about a negative review.

"No, honestly, it's my fault, I-"

"Let's just take a moment and-"

Talking over each other, we both stopped abruptly and I tried a smile.

"Okay. Deep breath. In for five, out for five," I said, closing my eyes and breathing slowly. When I opened them again, I put on a look of determination. "I think we need a change of approach." I stood up and reached for the fluffiest-looking towel. "What about a relaxing massage? People always tell me my massages are good."

"Okay," she said, sounding unsure.

"I've got oil in my bag. I'll let you dry off and get set up on the bed."

In truth, I didn't want to give her too much time to reflect on what was happening. At first I had just wanted her to have a nice time: now it was a point of pride. She'd put herself out there and I owed it to her to make it work and give her what she needed.

When Maria left the bathroom she was wrapped from the shoulders down in the towel. I noticed her look cautiously at me, so I looked back with a big customer-service smile and gestured to the bed while I warmed the massage oil in a makeshift arrangement of hot water in a hotel mug.

"Whatever makes you feel comfortable is fine," I said, looking away to give her a chance to arrange herself.

I was relieved that she hadn't decided to end things and I gave her plenty of time to get settled. The digital alarm clock by the bed indicated that most of the first hour of the session had already passed, and I told myself to stay calm. Last time I'd felt under pressure to rush things it had led to a mistake. Maybe a slow, enjoyable massage was as far as this would go.

"Ready?" I asked in what I hoped was a low, relaxing voice.

"I think so," she replied, her voice muffled by the pillow she was lying on.

Bringing the warmed oil with me, I approached the bed. She was lying on her front, towel covering her bum, and I felt the slightly unusual feeling of fancying her a bit. Usually escorting was just 'going through the motions' but this felt different and I fought down the urge to kiss the spot on the back of her neck where her soft baby hairs were, like I would have done if she was my girlfriend.

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