Her Own Personal Mary

HER OWN PERSONAL MARY

I. Theological Dialogue

My name is Myriam, and I am from Ireland, and I proudly belong to a generation which considers religion to be utterly backward and irrelevant. This is the story of my first lesbian experience, an experience in which my lack of religiousness played an essential part and changed me completely as a person.

I met Monica in a Catholic school I went to back in Dublin. We never talked back then, but afterwards we became best friends during our college years in London, and soon we came to be so close that we did everything together and we talked about everything with utmost familiarity.

One day, during a trip to the seaside by Kent we lay on the turf looking at the clouds in the sky, and thus came upon the delicate topic of divinity and religion. I asked her what her stance was, and she told me that she had once been Catholic, but since school she considered herself to be an Atheist and she didn't believe in "those religious fairy tales" anymore. I told her that I agreed and that my experience was exactly the same.

Back in those days Monica and I were classmates, as we were both attending the same publicity lectures, but we weren't flatmates. Consequently, she was considering moving in with me because we got along so well, because we essentially shared the same routine and, of course, because the rent was much cheaper where I lived.

That day when she came to visit my new flat for the first time, we had the strangest theological conversation imaginable, through which I didn't only discover to what degree we had stopped respecting our former religion, but also the feelings brewing in my hidden sexual desire for my best female friend.

It all began when she demonstrated her amazement at the fact that over my bed hung the multi-coloured rainbow flag of the gay community.

-I didn't know you were gay, Myriam. -She said to me, quite surprised.

-I'm not, actually. -I corrected. -I just support them.

-So do I. -She said. -So you're voting "Yes" for gay marriage in Ireland too?

-Of course. -I replied. -You too?

-Yes, me too. -She answered.

-But you're not actually gay either, are you Monica? -I asked her quite naturally.

-Well, I've only had one lesbian experience. -She said. -But none since, so I guess I'm not gay.

-You? With a woman? -I asked in disbelief. -I never would have expected...

I was quite right in being surprised, because Monica was in my view the most feminine woman I knew, secondly to myself, of course. She hated sports, she had a sweet voice, she was slender and delicately beautiful, and despite her staunch atheistic views, I considered her quite conservative and family-oriented. She was also the dream girl of many guys at the university, and she loved to flirt, which provoked certain inexplicable jealousy in me.

-I know. -She continued. -It was a one-time lesbian thing, though. It happened at that costume party at Jay's last year. Remember that one?

-No, I didn't go that time. -I told her, trying to dissimulate regret. -I think I was with Dylan in Cork at the time.

-Oh yes, you're right. Well, that's how it happened. -She concluded.

-Who was she? -I asked her. -The girl you had this experience with...

-Some friend of Jay's, or her cousin; I don't know. -She replied. -I don't even remember her name.

-Too much whisky? -I asked her with a big smile.

-No, actually I was sober. -She said. -She was actually quite beautiful, you know... And hot! Boy, was she hot! I just had to submit to her...

-Really? And what was her costume like? -I asked.

-She went as the Virgin Mary...

-What? And you still thought she was sexy? - I asked, and then began to laugh. -And what were you dressed like?

-Snow White. -She said.

-Ha ha, Snow White and the Virgin Mary! -I said laughing. -That would make quite a weird lesbian porno video!

Monica smiled and watched me laugh at her. Then she tickled me slightly and shoved me delicately in jest.

-Well it was the costume that made me fuck her, not her looks. -She explained.

I choked on my words and then looked at her again, quite confused.

- You saw that she was dressed as the Virgin Mary, so you decided to fuck her?? -I asked.

-Exactly. -She answered.

-Why?? -I asked, almost disgusted. -What was going on in your mind?

-Come on, think about it, Myriam! -She said. -She was dressed like the Virgin Mary!

-Yeah, so what? -I followed. -What did you find attractive about her? I'm sure there were plenty of sexy nurses and schoolgirls as well. Why her?

-I don't know! -She exclaimed. -Maybe it was the taboo about it. The forbidden pleasure about it turned me on. When she gave me that lesbian stare I felt I could finally bed the revered Mother Mary. You see?

-But who would want to fuck Mother Mary in the first place? That's just strange... -I argued.

-I agree with you, of course... -She said. -Such a thing never would have occurred to me if I hadn't gone to that party. I hadn't realised what a delicious fantasy it was until that moment!

-Ok, now I see. -I said. -And what happened next?

-We made out for a while and then went upstairs and did it in one of the bathrooms. It was so delicious! And in fact, the wrongness about it just made it better...

-But that's...sacrilege, isn't it? -I asked her. -Getting off to the Virgin Mary like that...

-What do I care? I'm an Atheist. -She justified. -I'd definitely do it again too, believe me. If you must know, she also tasted like a virgin! She was so delicious! And she could really suck me out, too!

I chuckled nervously; I was shocked to hear sweet Monica speak that way, so sexually, but it aroused me to hear she had such lesbian passion in her, and for some reason I began to fantasise about making her the object of my first time lesbian sex.

-So your only lesbian experience has been with a girl dressed as the Virgin Mary, and it was possible only because she was dressed that way, because it was taboo... -I confirmed.

-Yes. -She responded. - And when it comes to lesbian sex, I wouldn't have it any other way, believe me. Such delight! -She said while sighing. -Best sexual experience I've ever had. It felt so real! You know? Like I was really fucking Mary. Since then I always feel funny around images of Mary; last time during mass at my cousin's wedding I couldn't look Mary in the eyes.

-How about Greek or Roman goddesses? -I asked. -Do you find those sexy too?

-Now you're mocking me. -She complained. -Of course it's not the same. You think it would have been taboo if I'd fucked a girl dressed like Venus? What a joke!

I stared into her beautiful dark-green eyes, and smiled at her as I shook my head.

-Well, now you tell me: is there any female celebrity you yourself would sleep with, Myriam? -She asked me.

-Yes, of course! -I said. - But mine is Sharon Corr, just an earthly celebrity, you know. I know I'll never sleep with her, but she's someone of flesh and blood, and not someone in heaven!

I laughed at her, but she smiled back instead of becoming irritated.

-True -She continued. -But I have just as good a chance of screwing Mary as you do of screwing Sharon, so don't tease me.

We both laughed at the truth in her words.

-Alright. -I agreed. -But in your case why Mary, of all people, may I ask? -I interrogated. -I mean, why not fantasise about Kim Kardashian or Megan Fox or some woman who -you know- lives here on Earth?? That would at least make more sense.

-No, quite the contrary. -She argued. -Being with any of those sluts would not be a taboo at all! -She explained. -They're all unholy, and quite unholy too. On the contrary, Mary is unreachable, untouchable, and it's taboo to even conceive lecherous thoughts involving her. Thus, nothing compares with the pleasure I'd take in seeing holy Mary's innocent, uncorrupted, beautiful face between my thighs, kissing my pussy. It's the ultimate lesbian fantasy for me.

I laughed briefly at her crudeness and shook my head again. I'd never thought a beautiful woman like Monica could have such strange things in her mind.

-I guess you have a point -I said. -But how do you know Mary was even attractive?

- Easy question! -She said. -If Mary existed she must have been the hottest girl in the world, otherwise she wouldn't have been chosen by the Almighty to have his Son and all that. She's not an ugly girl, that's guaranteed.

We both laughed at her half-serious religious joke.

-Well, I don't think you'll ever have the honour anyhow. -I told her mockingly. - Unless Mary's into the idea of coming down from heaven to have a lesbian experience with you, I think you might never be with another woman at all ever again.

-Oh, but that would be lovely, though, wouldn't it? -Monica said. -Especially if she's wearing sexy knickers under those Hebrew robes. Mmm...

We looked at each other and laughed explosively. She was so funny! She had really weird humour, but she always made me laugh.

-Women didn't wear knickers back then, silly! -I argued playfully.

-That might be true. -She replied. -But do you remember what Sister Leigh taught us back in school, that the Virgin Mary ascended into the Heavens in body and soul? Well, if she's up there in both body and soul right now, don't you think she's ever needed to get new clothes since then, throughout so many centuries? I think she's already been shopping here on earth...

I laughed again, and I kept laughing now and then as she kept talking...

-I mean, honestly. -She continued - You can't wear the same clothes for two thousand years, can you? They waste away. She's probably even wearing Victoria's Secret underwear now, and her veil is probably tailor-made by Zara or something...

We both laughed yet again.

-Well, if all this is true I still don't think she's wearing anything slutty underneath her dress. -I argued. -As the virgin she is I think she ought to be wearing something innocent-looking, like normal white panties, probably cotton or silken ones...

-Or white panties with tiny flowers printed on them. -She added. -Mmm, yummy!

-Or heavenly light blue panties! -I said.

-Oh, by the way! -She interrupted, -the girl I screwed at Jay's party was in fact wearing light blue knickers below her long white Virgin Mary costume that time...Mmm! Good touch! I licked through those knickers so thoroughly before I pulled them down and licked her cunny directly! Hail Mary, indeed!

I felt a bit jealous by her comment, but still I said something to dissimulate my loss of heart.

-Blessed are the lips between thy thighs! -I added, trying hard to smile.

-Haha, we're such blasphemous bitches! -She said, and we both laughed again.

We laughed a bit more and then sat down next to each other on my bed to catch our breath. I had never had such a ridiculously funny discussion with someone, and I was glad Monica was also keen on joking about religion. But then I remembered how serious she was about her taboo fetish and I decided to stop teasing her.

We looked at each other and smiled.

-What if I dressed as the Virgin Mary for you, Monica? -I asked. -Would you be tempted?

The idea surprised her in such a way that for a second I saw the whites of her startled eyes, but she said nothing and only looked at me with a kinky look. Had it not been for that sexy look I would have begun to miss her outspokenness. As she continued to stare mischievously at me I looked back at her, trying to decipher her thoughts through her beautiful, Spanish eyes.

-Don't worry, Monica... -I said. -I don't think our friendship would suffer... We'd be just fine, don't you think?

-Yes. -She said in a breathy voice. -But please, let's role-play. -She asked. -You can play Mary and I'll be... I don't know, Pilatus's wife, or Mary Magdalene... Please...

-Sexy idea. -I said. -But I'd prefer you be yourself. -I proposed. -Could you also play yourself?

-Yes, of course. -She said. -Maybe that would even be better...

-Alright. -I agreed. -I'll role play as Mary for you... And you do to me all the things you'd do to her... -I said.

-Delightful... -She agreed, and she began to stare at my lips.

The room was filled with sexual tension and we slowly began to tilt towards each other.

-You're incredibly beautiful, Myriam. -She then whispered to me seductively. -You will look really divine dressed like the Virgin Mary and I will devour you...

I blushed nervously with butterflies in my breast and then our mouths met in a sweet kiss that soon turned very passionate. That was my first lesbian kiss. I loved the taste of her lipstick and her saliva was almost sweet.

We enjoyed our mouths and she then kissed me all over my neck and I felt weak, like a soft piece of cloth in her arms. As I involuntarily began to fall backwards, I felt her hand on my breasts. Her hand then slowly began to move along my belly and towards my crotch. It was going to happen. We were going to make love...

But then, unfortunately, her mobile phone began to ring. I kept making out with her in the hopes that she wouldn't pay any mind to her phone. I wanted to make love with her, I wanted to see her naked, and I wanted it badly! However, the ringing wouldn't stop and Monica was soon forced to leave my lips and look into her phone's screen to take the call.

-Hello? -She said to someone on the receiving end. I remained on the bed, listening to Monica's side of the phone conversation, my heart still pumping fast, my crotch still ticklish.

-What? ...Really? -Continued Monica -Oh, bother. Can't you ask Mrs Doyle for one? ...True, it is late. Alright then, I'll be there in three quarters of an hour, ok? ...Yes, kind of... No, I was on my way soon anyway... Yes... Ok, bye.

-Sorry, Myriam. -She said to me with emotion. -My stupid flatmate's lost her key, and she needs me to help her. That dumb girl...

-It's alright. -I replied. -Don't worry, we'll see each other soon, I guess.

She kissed my lips again and got up on her feet, and I involuntarily stared at her beautiful hips, barely able to dissimulate my disappointment.

-I'm sorry. -She said again nervously. -I'll make it up to you. Can I come over on Wednesday evening, after work?

Monica seemed afraid that we would make love that very night anyway, and she didn't want to be too easy. She was so good-looking she could actually have any lesbian she wanted, but she was in denial, and she didn't want to be a slut. She had never been so beautiful to me and I was willing to do anything to be able to enjoy her, so I took her offer.

-Alright. -I said to her. -When we meet here again on Wednesday I'll buzz you up. And when you enter this room you just might have a heavenly vision...

She understood what I meant, so she smiled mischievously and then kissed me goodbye.

-That's my girl. -She said. -Can't hardly wait! -She complained sincerely.

We said goodbye with smiles on our faces and I sat there as she left the room. I listened to her steps going out of my flat, down the staircase and out to the street. Then I went to my window and I admired her beautiful hips as she walked away, without her noticing. I was in love with her.

Once she was out of sight, I turned on my laptop and immediately ordered a Virgin Mary costume online. The delivery was scheduled for three days later, which was the following Tuesday. I was so excited that I had trouble going to sleep that night.

II. Impatient Expectation

During the next days I thought often about Monica and what we were going to experience together. I tried to study, but it was difficult for me to concentrate. Finally I gave up and lay on my bed and began to think as I stared at the ceiling. What would it be like to make lesbian love with Monica?

I closed my eyes and imagined her kissing my mouth, then my neck, then my breasts. Then I imagined her kissing my crotch. My ex-boyfriends had all done it, but never a woman. I had never been with a woman, and I wanted to try it out with Monica, very badly.

Receiving oral pleasure had always been quite pleasant with men, but it had usually felt like an imposition, because I had always had to keep my crotch completely shaven and smooth in order for them to pleasure me orally, and I always went through excruciating pain to accomplish such smoothness.

Tired of pleasing average-minded imbeciles, I was now single and I had left that ridiculous fashion behind. I shaved my legs and my armpits, and nothing else except the bits around my crotch to keep a decent panty line. It felt good and I felt liberated.

Despite all this, I did think long about shaving my crotch for Monica. Maybe she would like that; most people do. But would it make sense for the role play? Role-playing as the Virgin Mary with a bald crotch made no historical sense. Plus, I also didn't have the will to go through the pain of shaving my pubic hair again. It's still one of the worst sensations I've ever encountered.

Should I also be naked under my costume? I didn't know what the dress code would have been among first century Jewish women; however, be it as it were, I decided it would be more erotic to wear nothing beneath the costume. That was my final decision: beneath my robes I would be naked and my crotch unshaven and natural, as the Hebrew lady herself would have most likely had two thousand years ago.

I confess that at that point I felt a slight frustration. I really would have preferred Monica to have a different fantasy. Role-playing as a schoolgirl, as a nurse, or as a secretary, -that would have been a lot less challenging. It was a pity she didn't prefer anything like that. What was I supposed to do as the Virgin Mary? For a moment I was full of regret for having suggested such a role-play.

I then got up from bed, pulled out one of its sheets, and stood in front of the mirror and put the sheet over my head like a veil. I looked beautiful and I could very well pass for the Virgin Mary during the role play, too. I had all the right features for it -the olive-white skin, the wavy dark-brown hair, the Irish blue eyes-, and if I relaxed my face I could also look innocent and heavenly.

I then began to rehearse my facial expressions and practised over and over until I was in character for the role-play, like a professional porno actress. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine actually being the Virgin Mary and getting my crotch kissed by another woman, for instance by Mary Magdalene.

I touched myself through the panties and tried to picture how such a thing would have felt, all the while keeping a kind, innocent expression on my face. I tried hard to stay on character, and thus tried to convey a believable portrait of a lesbian Mary reacting to Magdalene kissing her holy crotch.

I slightly touched myself as I practised a while longer until my imagination became weary of the exercise and I fell backwards on my bed, full of impatient sexual desire for Monica. As I stared at the ceiling again I wondered about what else I should take into account for the encounter, but in the end I decided that all should come out spontaneously during role-playing.

Monica's sexual desire for the Virgin Mary is among the strangest things I have ever come across in life, but I won't judge her for that; she is a beautiful person. In my opinion, it isn't such a bad fantasy anyway; in a way it actually is like wanting to bed a celebrity.

I thought about all this a little longer and soon I realised that I could never go through with such a thing if I weren't an Atheist. I would probably feel remorse, like my mother always does with little things like chucking food away. It felt good to be an atheist, though; I was soon to dress up as the Virgin Mary for lesbian sex and it didn't bother me one bit, and I was really looking forward to it as well.