Louise knocked on the door. A few seconds later, knowing that she hadn't given Rhonda nearly enough time to answer her knock but not able to stop herself, she knocked again, practically hammering away in her urgency...no. 'Urgency' wasn't strong enough. 'Desperation' was a better word. Louise clung to the doorframe as she knocked, feeling like she could barely keep herself upright, her thoughts a continuous silent prayer of
Please be home, please be home, please be home...
Rhonda opened the door, and Louise sagged into her arms. "Help me," she said quietly.
Rhonda was kind enough not to ask questions right away. She just took Louise by the arm and helped her to a couch. Passing by a mirror, Louise understood why her friend had such a concerned expression on her face; Louise looked terrible. She had dark circles under her bloodshot blue eyes, her blonde hair lay tangled and lank on her head, and she looked like she hadn't had a good night's sleep in days. When Rhonda sat her down, it took all her energy not to just slump sideways into the fetal position.
Rhonda squeezed Louise's shoulder sympathetically and said, "First things first, kiddo. You look like you could use a cup of tea." She went into the kitchen and Louise heard the sound of water running. "I'll make you some of the herbal tea I picked up yesterday. I think you'll like it," Rhonda shouted from the other room.
Louise didn't respond. She just sat there trying to compose herself, and trying to find some way of explaining the events of the last forty-eight hours that wouldn't make her sound crazy. She was terrified that Rhonda wouldn't believe her; if her closest friend didn't believe what she had to say, who would? If she couldn't get Rhonda to help her, she knew she wouldn't last much longer. Her thoughts already felt so muzzy...
She felt a sudden sick chill of fear in her gut. What if she wasn't able to tell Rhonda what had happened to her? It was already so hard to think straight, so easy to just slip back into that warm, dreamy haze and remember her conditioning. Louise's fingers twitched, just a little. Her body wanted to masturbate again. It wanted her to slip a finger into her pussy and slowly slide it in and out, building her arousal until she was squirming and gasping as she chanted out her mantras of obedience. She understood that if she gave in, she'd just condition herself further, that every time she gave into the need she just brainwashed herself even more deeply, but her conditioning had already made her enjoy the thought of being brainwashed. The knowledge that she'd be deepening her obedience didn't halt her arousal; it increased it. Even thinking about it right now deepened her programming.
When Rhonda came back in, Louise was gripping the arm of the couch like she was on a roller coaster. "Here you go," she said, sitting on the couch next to Louise and handing her a mug of hot tea. Louise felt like Rhonda was sitting too close--she found herself suddenly fantasizing about her hands tangling in Rhonda's long dark hair as they kissed, her lips moving down to suckle at Rhonda's exquisite breasts, her fingers running through the other patch of hair that lay between Rhonda's thighs on their way down to slide into her friend's pussy...she'd never thought this way about women before, but the idea suddenly had an insistent need, an intensity created by so much programming, so much yummy brainwashing...
Rhonda noticed her hands shaking, and held them steady with her own. Which only made the reason for their tremors that much worse, the intimacy of touch bringing all those fantasies to even more vivid life, but Rhonda couldn't know that. She brought the mug to Louise's lips and helped her to drink.
"Better, kiddo?" she asked. Louise nodded. The delicate scent and warmth of the tea did seem to relax her just a little. She took another long gulp. "Good. Now, you think you can talk about this yet, or do you just want to wait a while longer?"
"No, I...I can tell you." Louise didn't want to think about what state her brain would be in if she waited any longer. Or her libido, for that matter. She set the tea down on a coaster on the end table and took a deep breath.
"It started Friday night," she said. "I was out late, just doing a little bit of bar-hopping, and I wound up at this new place I'd never tried before, Club Venus." Rhonda let out an involuntary snort of laughter before rapidly composing her features into an expression of contrition. "Yes, I know it's a lesbian bar now," Louise said with a hint of irritation, "but I didn't pick it up right away. I'd already had a few by that point, and it didn't click for a little bit. I thought that the other girls were just being friendly, you know? Seemed like a welcome change from some of the catty behavior you get sometimes when you're...you know, competing for a guy."
Rhonda nodded. "So what happened to you? You didn't get raped in the women's room or something, did you?"
Louise felt the entire fantasy flash through her mind in an instant, a powerful muscular woman pressing her up against the wall and fingering her, knowing that Louise's pleas to stop would soon melt into moans of passion as she learned just how perfect a woman's touch could be... "No," she said. She tried not to make it sound disappointed. "I met this girl."
She knew how that sounded, but to her credit, Rhonda didn't back away or flip out. Inwardly, Louise sighed in gratitude. She should have known she could trust Rhonda with even something this big. The two of them had known each other too long for something like this to come between them. "Louise," she said, "you don't need to get freaked out. Lots of women...try something new sometimes. It doesn't necessarily mean--"
"It's not like that!" Louise said, fear and desperation shading her tones. "This girl, she came up to me while I was at the bar. And she was funny, and we got to talking, and she invited me back to her table with my drink. And I'd kind of figured out that it was a lesbian bar by then, and I told her that I didn't swing that way, and she said I didn't need to worry about that. I thought she meant she wouldn't hit on me, that we'd just talk, but..." Louise trailed off into embarrassed silence, trying to find a way to phrase the bit she was afraid Rhonda wouldn't believe.
Rhonda looked at her. "Was she cute?"
"I don't remember!" Louise blurted out. "I mean, yes, I remember she was cute--" Cute, hell. She was fucking gorgeous. She was sex on legs, melt in your mouth and onto your fingers beautiful, an absolutely perfect woman, the primal goddess of lust and desire, a woman you'd fall to your knees and worship, a woman you must fall to your knees and worship, worship with your tongue and your fingers and your lips and your toes and your pussy and with toys, strap-ons and vibrators and the whip and the crop and--
She pulled herself out of the mental vortex. "I don't remember what she looked like, Rhonda. I don't remember her name. I just remember that we went back to the table and we talked. At first we talked, I mean. She told me it was a shame I wasn't gay, because sex with a woman was so much better than sex with a guy, and I kind of started to argue with her about that, but...I can't remember what I said now. I can't remember what reasons I gave." She started to shake again, and Rhonda grabbed her hand and held it tightly. "I can't remember why I ever had any interest in guys, Rhonda."
Rhonda snorted. "Yes, I've had quite a few days like that myself." She saw the tense look on Louise's face and her own expression sobered. "Sorry, go on."
"It was something about the way she talked, Rhonda. She just had such a nice voice. It was so soft and soothing, but...but it also seemed so firm. Like there was no way you could disagree with it. She and I were arguing, but...for fun, y'know? Just laughing and joking, but she kept on talking about how good it felt to give yourself completely to another woman, how it felt like floating in their eyes..." Louise felt her own eyes go glassy all over again just remembering it.
"And I...I didn't understand, so she told me to look in her eyes and imagine floating in them. It was kind of dark where we were sitting, out of the way and quiet, and I just remember her talking, talking about floating in her eyes and feeling so peaceful and warm and wonderful, how good it felt all over to float in her eyes and feel so...nice..." She heard the erotic shiver in her own voice, and a part of her felt ashamed at showing Rhonda this part of herself, but she was too lost in the memory to care.
