I hated filling out job applications. I'd lucked into my previous job without having to do an application; the owner of the convenience store where I'd worked had given me a break because he knew my next-door neighbor. But since my boyfriend had talked me into quitting that job a few days earlier, I had to find another job, and I didn't have anyone to call in favors from.
So Monday after my last class, I walked downtown and caught the bus out to the local mall. I could have gotten a ride from Jay if I'd asked, but I didn't want to make him stand around while I filled out the applications. Fortunately, since it was nearing holiday season, most of the stores in the mall were hiring, and by the time I left I'd filled out and left four or five applications, and had a stack more in hand.
I got onto the bus to go home and sank into a seat near the front. Then I heard someone toward the back call, "Hey, Sam!"
I turned around and saw Devin, a guy I'd gone to high school with. I got up and went to sit beside him. "How's it going?" I asked.
"Not as well as it is for you, apparently," he said.
"What are you talking about?"
"I heard you're dating Jay Christian. And it looks like you have a lot of fun with him."
"Looks like? Where have you seen us?" Jay had talked me into sex in his car a few days earlier, but I was pretty sure no one had seen us there, and he and I didn't often go out around town.
"You don't know, do you." Devin looked out the window, then back at me. "Um, it's kind of embarrassing to have to tell you this, but you're online. There's a site that has videos of people, well, you know, and there's a video of you and him on there."
He had to be joking. A video of Jay and me? I knew what kind of site he was talking about, of course; I was naïve, but not that naïve. Jay had filmed us fucking the last time I'd been at his place, but he'd promised me no one else would ever see it. How the hell had it ended up online?
Something in my eyes must have scared Devin, because he gulped and slid over closer to the window. "I don't usually watch that kind of stuff, but one of my college buddies was goofing around on the site one day," he said. "When I recognized you, I shut it off. I mean, I know you. I don't want to watch you... you know."
I didn't believe him for a second. He wasn't even trying to look me in the eye, and I knew enough about guys to have a pretty good idea that if he and his buddy had been watching porn, it would have been even more exciting to them to recognize someone. Ordinarily I would have been embarrassed as hell to be sitting beside someone who'd seen me fucking someone else, but fury overwhelmed embarrassment this time. "I'm not mad at you," I said. "I'm mad at the lying bastard who put that online in the first place."
"Well, yeah, you should be," Devin said quickly. "I mean, if you didn't know it was there, that's just wrong."
"Yes. Yes, it is." And I'd have a few choice words for Jay next time I talked to him. How dare he put our movie online for anyone to see? Didn't he have any respect for me at all? He'd said he loved me, but obviously that was total bullshit. If you loved someone, you didn't take a video of them fucking you and put it all over the Internet!
"I'm sorry," Devin said. "I wouldn't have mentioned it if I'd realized you didn't know about it."
"You shouldn't have mentioned it anyway," I snapped. "What kind of person tells someone they've seen that kind of video of them? What were you thinking, that I'd be so excited about you seeing it I'd give you a real-life show?"
"I thought you said you weren't mad at me."
"I lied." I pulled the buzzer for the next stop. "Thanks for the update. Enjoy jerking off to the porn you watch."
The bus stopped in front of a laundromat, and I got off. I wasn't sure exactly where I was, but I knew one thing: there was no way I was staying on that bus knowing that Devin had seen that video. Not to mention knowing that some of the passengers sitting near us had probably heard the conversation.
I took my cell phone out of my jacket pocket and scrolled through the few numbers I'd programmed into it. I couldn't call home for a ride; my parents didn't know yet that I had a cell. They'd refused to get me one, and when I'd been working I'd spent too much of my income on college texts, clothes, and saving up to get out of my parents' house. Jay had bought me the phone, and even though my parents knew now that I was seeing him, I wasn't sure how they'd react to knowing he'd given me a cell phone.
They hadn't reacted well to hearing that I was seeing Jay, for that matter; they thought that at twenty-six, he was too old for me, since I was only eighteen. They'd also heard too many negative things about him over the years, since Jay had been best friends with my brother Randy until they'd gotten into a fight in high school over a girl both of them had liked. Most of the bad things my parents had heard had come from Randy, but there had also been rumors around town for years that Jay was into drugs and other illegal or at least sketchy things. My parents, like most in our town, believed what they heard without taking the time to find out if it was true.
The only other numbers in my phone were Randy's and Jay's. Randy would have come to pick me up, but he would have wanted to know why I was upset, and I didn't want to give him yet another reason to hate Jay, especially since he'd gotten used to the idea that Jay and I were dating and actually sort of supported me in it.
So it would have to be Jay. Pretty ironic, when I thought about it; the reason I was stranded in a neighborhood I didn't know was the person who'd have to come rescue me from it. If I'd been closer to home, I would have decided to just walk. Since my parents had never allowed me to learn to drive, I was used to walking long distances. But I was tired from walking around the mall, and besides, Jay owed me. I pressed the button to dial his number.
He picked up on the first ring. "Hi, Sam. What's up?"
"I'm standing in front of the..." I looked at the Laundromat and read the name on the sign out loud. "I was on the bus, but I bailed. Come pick me up, please." Despite how pissed I was at him, I couldn't stop myself from adding the "please".
"Sure, no problem. Do you think you're okay there until I get there? That's a pretty skanky area."
I looked around. The buildings did look pretty seedy, but I didn't see anyone around, and there was a coffee shop a few hundred yards away that seemed to still be open. I'd probably be all right in there. "Yeah, I'm going to go have a cup of hot chocolate or something."
"Okay. I'll be there in a few minutes. Be careful."
"Yeah."
He hung up, and I slipped my phone back into my pocket and walked over to the coffee shop. It was almost empty; an elderly man wearing a coat that looked at least twice my age was the only other customer. I went to the counter and ordered a cup of hot chocolate, which earned me a strange look along with a cup of some barely-identifiable brown liquid. "Dollar," the counter person muttered.
I handed him a dollar and sat down to wait for Jay. The counter man and the elderly man both kept looking at me, which made me uncomfortable. Feeling uncomfortable ticked me off. I wouldn't even be here if Jay hadn't put that video online. This was his fault, and he was going to hear about it when he showed up.
Finally, I saw his car through the front window. I left my cup, which was still more than half full since I hadn't been able to stomach much of the hot so-called chocolate, on the table and hurried outside. When I got into the car, Jay leaned over to give me a kiss, but I dodged him. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Did anyone hassle you while you were waiting?"
