My name is Laetitia. When I was a teenager, I used to have a boyfriend, but I didn't feel very close to him, no matter how many caresses and kisses we exchanged. One day of my senior year of high school, he called me:
"Hello, Letty. Let's go out for a spin. Can I come for you at about 8:00?"
"I'm sorry, Billy, not tonight. I have a lot to study..."
"Please!"
"No, thank you. See you!"
And I hung up as quickly as I could without banging the telephone. My mother observed my conversation and asked me:
"What was that all about?"
"Oh, Mom, everything is all right!"
"Dear, I admire that you are so responsible and all, but you could relax a little."
"That is the problem."
"But has he made any advances?"
"Mom, let's leave it like that."
Obviously, he would have wanted to have me alone, and then, I would really get in trouble. The next day, he asked me:
"My love, is anything wrong?"
"Nothing."
"That is precisely what I mean, don't you care for me anymore?"
"Yes, I do care, but..."
"Look, let's go out somewhere tonight, OK?"
"Can we do this next weekend?"
"Does this mean that you no longer love me?"
This was already turning into some cheap emotional blackmail, and that was angering me.
"If you put it in those terms..."
"I knew it! It's that stupid Wally? That's why you're making excuses?"
Making an effort not to lose my patience, I answered him:
"This has nothing to do with Wally or anyone else. My mother can vouch for the fact that I was only studying last night. Look, Billy, I'm getting tired of your jealousy!"
"If that's what you want, then...!"
He shot a fierce look and I expected him to hit me, but the hallway was crowded. So he said instead:
"...It's over between us!"
"Good-bye!"
At first, I felt bad; I even cried while I walked to my next class. A girl friend found me and she hugged me in order to comfort me, and suddenly, I felt a great relief.
The next days, I saw Billy arm-in-arm with another of my friends and I did not even feel jealous. After all, whatever we might have had was already over. But my other friends were shocked by my indifference, especially upon seeing that other boys approached me and I rejected one after another. My parents and sisters also looked at me kind of strange, but I convinced my father with the following words:
"At this moment, my only interest is to obtain good grades and qualify for a reputable college. Also, you wouldn't want to see your dear little girl pregnant in her adolescence."
"Dear daughter, you can't imagine how much I admire you! You are more mature than I have ever been myself."
"It's just that I don't want to disappoint you. I love you!"
"And I love you too!"
From then on, nobody ever paid any more attention to my loneliness. On the senior prom, I didn't have a date, but a young boy called Ray, who got a lot of innuendo about being homosexual, called at the last minute. I had to borrow a dress and have it fitted on me it as quickly as possible, until the precise moment in which he called to my door to take me to the dance.
"Here is your chariot, princess!"
We rode his car and upon arriving there, we tried to pass for a regular couple, but we only danced two or three songs. Soon the jeers and tasteless comments began, and we both decided to leave the party before midnight. While driving back home, Ray admitted me:
"I was already anxious to end that travesty."
"So was I."
And he left me in front of my house to aimlessly drive on. At my house, my folks were no longer surprised upon seeing me returning so early, since I wasn't involved with my companion of that night. I carefully took off the dress, I took another shower and I went to sleep.
I was admitted at a small university but with a good study program, and there, I began in communications. At the library, a sophomore helped me with some books for a project. She has very exotic features: she is tall, shapely, with olive skin, eyes between Indian and Oriental, her hair is long and black and has full lips. There were rumors that she was a lesbian, and once in the student center, I saw her again. I thanked her:
"Thank you again for getting me those books."
"You're welcome. By the way, my name is Rhonda."
"Pleased to meet you, Rhonda. My name is Laetitia, but you may call me Letty."
Their expression was somber and worried. I asked her:
"Is anything wrong?"
"Nothing."
I moved in front of her trying to look at their face and I noticed her sadness. She reacted:
"Do you also judge me?"
"But why?"
"You must have heard what's been said about me...?"
"I don't pay attention to gossip; if I did, I wouldn't even have finished high school..."
She whispered in despair:
"I have a problem..."
"Tell me about it."
"My roommate is very conservative, and she no longer stands me. The last thing that she told me was to look for somewhere else to move, or else, she will move out herself."