"Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead." - Benjamin Franklin
___________________
Such was the case with Mike Hutchins, Private Investigator, who, in a relaxed mood of drunken, post-coital bliss, casually mentioned to his girlfriend/lover that one of his clients was engaged in a Lesbian affair as were her daughter and her friends. Said girlfriend, one Connie Peterson, was immediately curious and threatened him with no further sexual favors until he immediately supplied more details. He did and now she had names to accompany the titillating news which she promptly conveyed to her BFF, in the strictest confidence of course, who shared it with her hair stylist, just between them, you know, and so on and so on, the story growing more bizarre with each telling until ...
***
Leslie Dean was relaxing on her back deck with a romance novel and a cool drink when her phone chirped; it was a number she didn't recognize.
"Hello, this is Leslie."
"Leslie Dean?"
"Yes, who is this?"
"You don't know me, but I wanted to warn you that the Board of Directors of the Legion of Decency's called an emergency meeting about you."
"About me, what's this all about?"
"You're having Lesbian sex with other women and teenage girls."
"Why that's ridiculous, where did you hear this?"
"A friend of a friend, I just wanted to warn you, sweetie. Goodbye."
"Wait, who are ... Damn, they hung up."
***
Susan Crawford had stepped from the shower and was toweling off when her phone trilled; it was Leslie.
"Hi baby, what's goin' on?"
"Plenty, someone just called me and said that there was a rumor going around that I was having Lesbian sex with teenage girls and the Legion of Decency's Board of Directors is calling an emergency meeting about me. I'm scared, baby."
"Be cool, I'll be right over."
***
Teri Dean and Keri Crawford were having lunch in the school cafeteria when one of their Goth friends walked over, sat across from them at their table and said "What this about you guys getting' it on with your mom's? The whole school's talkin' about it."
"What the hell," Keri snapped, "Who told you that?"
"That's bullshit," Teri added, "Our mom's wouldn't do that."
"I'm just tellin' ya what I heard," Keith Somers said, defensively. "They say your sisters involved too, Teri. The five of ya are lezzin' it up big time. I think it's kinda hot."
The girls glanced around and saw students at other tables looking at them and talking among themselves. Three girls at one table waved shyly at them and smiled.
"Thanks for cluing us in, Keith," Keri said. "I dunno who started this bullshit, but I'm gonna find out."
"I just lost my appetite," Teri said, standing up, "C'mon Keri, let's get outta here."
Keri stood up and they walked towards the cafeteria exit doors, feeling every eye in the place on them. Once they were out in the hall Teri said "How did everyone find out? Has somebody been peeping in our windows? Mom and Susan are gonna be so pissed when they hear about this."
"I'm callin' mom now," Keri replied, taking her phone from her purse and punching the speed dial. "Mom, y'know what I just heard, there's a rumor goin' around school that we're getting' it on with each other ... yeah, the whole town must know if these kids do ... what, you guys heard it too ... a phone call ... they said what ... no shit? Look, we're comin' home ... naw, we won't miss anything important ... don't worry, we'll catch a ride ... see ya in a while ... bye."
"What's goin' on there?" Teri asked.
"The shit's hit the fan, babe, your mom got a call that someone ratted her out to that Decency crowd she hangs with. Those people are nuts. She thinks they're gonna kick her out of the Legion because she's a Lesbian."
"Those fuckers," Teri said angrily. "Poor mom, she must be freakin' out."
"She sounded almighty pissed to me; I heard her cussin' in the background. Let's get outta here."
Three girls and two boys emerged from the cafeteria doors, saw Teri and Keri and began snickering and whispering.
"What the fuck's so funny," Teri snarled, clenching her fists.
The group continued to snicker and hurried off, looking back at them.
***
Brittany Crawford was relaxing in the break room at the Bargain Barn with a cup of tea and a muffin when the door opened and Fred Wheeler stumped in, beady eyes gleaming in his pudgy face. Being Associate Floor Manager gave him a limited amount of authority and he never missed a chance to lord it over any subordinates. He had asked Brittany for a date several times and she had politely turned him down.
Brittany groaned inwardly as he headed for her table and heaved his bulk into the chair next to her. She pasted a smile on her face and said "Hi Fred," as pleasantly as she could. He mopped his sweaty brow with a soiled handkerchief and replied "Now I know why you'd never go out on a date with me."
'Because you're a repulsive slob' Brittany thought, but said sweetly "Whatever are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about," he said with an evil grin, "You bein' a Lez and all."
"Excuse me? I'm a what?"
"Don't play dumb with me, cutie. The whole staff's talking about it. You and those other girls getting' it on and ..."
"Who told you this?" Brittany said, her anger rising.
"I heard it from Pat in Linens and Draperies and she heard it from ..."
"I'm gonna get to the bottom of this," Brittany said, arising from her chair, "See ya, Fred." She threw what remained of her tea and muffin in the trash, stalked out the door and headed for the warehouse where she could make a phone call in private. What in hell was going on?
***
"Brit's on her way," Susan said as Teri and Keri came charging through the front door, embarrassed, annoyed and spoiling for a fight. They'd finally been able to catch a ride with two girls they knew from Math class and were pestered for details about their supposed relationship throughout the trip although they admitted nothing, saying it was so much bullshit.
"Who ratted us out, mom?" Keri shouted, "Someone's lookin' for an ass kickin'."
"Calm down, sweetie," Susan replied. "We don't know anything yet. Evidently there are rumors about us all over town. We may never know who it was and until we do ..."
"I just thought of who'd know about us, it's that goddamn blabbermoutn Hutchins!" Leslie shouted as she emerged from the kitchen and stormed into the family room, "That lousy sonofabitch! I'm gonna rip his balls off and make him eat them!"
Teri was shocked; she'd never heard her mom use such language or seen her get this mad.
"Are you sure, babe?" Susan said.
"Who else knew about when the girls went to 'Lover's Island' and who snuck into the house while we were making love? He probably watched us for a while, that goddamn perv. When I get my hands on him ..."
"Who's this Hutchins guy, mom?" Teri said. "How come he knows about us going to 'Lover's Island'?"
Leslie's demeanor changed abruptly from anger to embarrassment.
"He's a private detective I hired to keep an eye on you, baby. I thought you were fighting other girls over some boy and were having sex with him. I just wanted to protect you ..."
"Mother, how could you!" Teri shouted. "Spying on me like that; don't you trust me at all? Having some creepy guy following me everywhere, what were you thinking? " She burst into tears and ran upstairs, slamming the bedroom door behind her.
Leslie collapsed into a chair like a punctured balloon. "I only wanted to protect her. Now I've ruined everything and she hates me. I was only trying to be a good mother, I swear." She put her hands over her face and began to cry.
Susan, Brittany and Keri were stunned by Teri's outburst and Leslie's reaction to it.
"Go to her, Brit," Susan said, "She needs you now." She arose from the couch and sat on the arm of Leslie's chair, stroking her hair and letting her cry.
Keri was unsure what to do, so she lay back on the couch and closed her eyes wishing it would all go away and they all could be happy again, then her phone played the opening chords to a popular tune.
"Hi Jen, what's goin' on, yeah, sure, lemme ask. Is it okay with you guys if I go to the mall with Jen and Maria?"
Susan nodded; Leslie did as well, wiping her eyes with a tissue as Susan caressed her neck.
"Pick me up in ten, thanks, bye." She kissed them both and ran out the door to wait at the curb for her friends. Things totally sucked; maybe it would be fun to go shopping.
***
Brittany tapped on Teri's door saying "It's me, baby, can I come in?"
"Is she with you?"
"Nope, it's just me."