I was supposed to be listening to Madison close out her devotional. But my mind was on my post-Bible study plans, in which Lydia was to come over to my apartment for a sleepover. We were going to bake cookies and stay up late talking and watching movies. I can't describe the depth of the friendship we shared. She knew everything about me, my dirtiest secrets and my most mortifying regrets. Somehow, she still found it in herself to love me with the most beautiful heart in the world. I'd never had a best friend before, and she had confessed to me that neither had she. An obnoxious voice saying my name brought me out of my reverie.
"Lucy, would you like to pray over us?" Madison asked.
I prayed aloud, "God of all, blessed be Your name. I ask that you would destroy any doubt in us and spark in us the desire and discipline to follow Your Word." I said, summarizing the lesson. "I give thanks to you for each of these incredible girls here and I pray that you would dwell with them as they go about this next week serving you. In Jesus' name, Amen."
"Amen" chorused the girls.
***
Lydia was really good at baking. I wasn't very good at baking but I was good at sitting on the kitchen counter and sneaking tastes of the cupcake batter and the homemade icing. Lydia ate a piece of the fresh raspberries she was cutting. "Mmm," she moaned. "You've got to try one, these are so delicious." She hand-fed me half a raspberry. My lips were tingling where they had brushed against Lydia's fingers.
Lydia herself was so much like the cupcakes she was making. She was so sugary sweet like the frosting it was almost in a bad way. Almost. She was rich, like the chocolatey cake. Too much to take in all at once. There was her beauty, her depth, her hidden wild side. She was refreshing like the raspberries, grounded and trustworthy, unlike the other girls in our friend group.
***
While we watched a movie, Lydia split my hair down the middle and arranged my hair in two complex braids. Directly between her knees, I was cognizant of the fact that she was straddling me, letting me be closer to her body than anyone else in the whole world. Neither of us had done much more than kiss a boy, which felt embarrassing at our age but I also wore it as a badge of honor at church. I might be more pure than even Madison herself.
After securing each braid, Lydia had me turn around to see how I looked. She held me by the chin and looked at either side of my head. "Beautiful." She declared. Exactly the word I wanted her to use to describe me.
While the next movie played, we ate popcorn in bed. She laid down and propped her legs up on my lap. "Tell me a secret." She demanded, bored.
"But you already know all my secrets," I protested. "Umm.. Remember my first boyfriend, from high school? He slept over at my house, when my parents weren't home. He slept on the couch though."
"No, you whore." she joked, flinging pieces of popcorn at me. "I'll tell everyone." she said. "I'll tell Madison."
"Don't you dare"
We laughed like that for a while. "Well, you owe me a secret now too." I said. "A juicy one."
She thought about it for a moment, as if debating whether to tell me. "Ok I have one but I'm really embarrassed about it."
"Tell me."
