Thank you to VMKane for editing and constantly pushing me to be a better writer.
******
I'm lying next to her, the room is pitch black and all I can focus on is her breath catching in her throat. The duvet has somehow managed to work its way down so it's only covering my lower half. The cool night air coming in through the open window is raising goosebumps on my arms. We're not touching, but I can feel the energy radiating from her body which is only inches from mine. Neither of us should have let it get this far, but the temptation of the forbidden fruit is almost too much to resist.
"Please tell me."
Her voice is quiet, gravelly and full of arousal. She's staring straight up at the ceiling. I can just about make out the rise and fall of her vest in the darkness. Even without her eyes on me I'm struggling to get my words out.
"I can't. It's too... I just can't."
I'm covering my face with my arm; I don't want to expose myself. She's peeling back my layers and I'm not doing a thing to stop her.
"Jessica, you've know me for ages, have I ever judged you?
"No... I mean yes, I've thought about you like that. The way your lips would feel against mine. How your skin would feel under my fingertips... How erotic it would be."
"
Fuck
."
I'm aching for her. I want to climb on top of her and consume her, get into her head and find out her deepest, darkest secrets. Instead I turn onto my side and lay my head on my left arm so I'm facing her.
"Why me Jessica? Why now?"
"You know why. It's always been this way."
"We can't. It's not right; too many people would get hurt. It doesn't mean I don't want it though."
"Tell me what you want
,
Tab."
I know she's only wearing a thin vest. I find my mind considering the possibility that her nipples are straining against the fabric -that they're erect because of me. It feels like we are in a black and white film, her beauty translates even in monotone, she could be Bacall or Dietrich.
"At dinner I couldn't stop sneaking glances at you, Jess. You looked so beautiful, your hair falling down around your face. All I wanted to do was have you all to myself. And now I do and I can't do a thing about it."
"Maybe. But we can still talk."
I reach out to her with my right hand but stop myself. This isn't about touching. A car drives past and its headlights illuminate her saxophone hanging on the wall. She always looks so in control when she's playing.
"What do you want to talk about? Shall we talk about how wet you're making me
,