It's the clothes more than anything. Not the bustling atmosphere, the ultra-modern building, or the amount of young people walking around using new slang. No. It's the clothes that make the moment come alive. The undergarments, the form-fitting fabric, the shoes. It looks expensive but you can look great with an affordable price if you know where to shop.
Don't get me wrong, being here is daunting. I haven't worked an office job in over a decade. Marriage and parenting took me out of the rat race, but divorce brought me back.
I worked from home during that time, running a popular blog for mothers which has made my resume attractive to this major tech company. My blog is the only reason they'll hire someone who hasn't worked in an office for that long. The fact is, they're interested in appealing to certain demographics and people like me can help.
"There's a cadence to working here," she says. "Meetings are routine and things are time sensitive. You have to keep track of projects. The casualness around here can give the wrong impression, but make no mistake, it's very much a demanding job. You'll also be working closely with colleagues in the marketing department."
Dr. Khanna is a licensed therapist, but her main function is being the performance coach. Because I've been out of the corporate loop for so long, HR thought it would be a good idea for her to ease my transition back into the workforce. She's around my age and she's been preparing me to collaborate with a younger crowd.
"I'm already getting back into the swing of things. Everyone has been super nice."
"That's the environment we strive for. But don't let friendliness fool you. There's a healthy dose of competition which can be intense at times."
"Some things never change. I just need to find my rhythm."
"You should be fine with the work-life balance. It's the social setting which worries me."
"Am I that old?"
"You're hitting your prime. It's more, these girls play by different rules."
"Let's hope they don't eat me alive."
That was meant to be a joke, but it's worrisome that Dr. Khanna stops to think, as if that's an actual possibility. As if the laid back setting is just a ruse and backstabbing is the norm.
Dr. Khanna leans forward. "The girls in marketing are brilliant in their own way. But they can be... particular. They're young, but driven. Be prepared to be pushed, but you'll also learn a lot."
"I'm excited. Maybe they can learn from me as well. I have a lot to offer."
"HR made the right decision hiring you. Love your attitude."
xxx
It's a humbling experience to work beneath someone who's half my age. Her name is Vivian and she's this attractive dark haired Eastern European girl in charge of social media marketing. It's a job title that didn't exist when I worked in traditional marketing a long time ago. That's literally her title. Social Media Content Strategist.
She keeps charts of data analytics, figures out which trends are popular, what kind of content gets the most engagement, demographics, etc...
Unlike other young women her age, Vivian dresses the part, and then some. In fact she dresses better than most women anywhere. Certainly the best dressed woman in this building. Where most young women are happy to wear jeans, leggings, flats and sneakers, Vivian always wears heels. No exceptions. Always with a nice blouse, different colors, always with a skirt. Always designer brand, best of the best.
That's the image she projects to her 200,000 social media followers across platforms. People follow her content for modern day career advice. And she is the modern woman. Her 'day-in-the-life' videos often go viral. You want job interview tips? Check out her page. You want to dress to impress? Check her out.
I'd like to think that we've become friends. She invites me to coffee, sometimes to lunch, and we talk about personal topics in between work. I've never felt like age was a factor between us, which was a welcomed relief, and we have more in common than anyone would guess.
Anyway, we're meeting in her office soon for content strategy. The company is launching a new fitness apparel line with built-in technology (sensors that track heart rate, steps, activity levels). Vivian is spearheading the social media campaign targeting working women and busy moms, but engagement has been softer than expected.
She has a brilliant office on the third floor with a window view. I call it brilliant because it's minimalist in style, but she has an arrangement of high heels displayed on top of a file cabinet, right by the window. As I'm walking to her office, I enjoy the open space community and glass doors. This place has style for days, much different than companies I used to work for, where it almost felt like jail at times.
Her place has a sense of privacy since it's further away from most other people. The glass walls are frosted in the center, which means the top and bottom are clear, but the middle is blurred. I always know when she's in her office because I can see the heels on her feet through the lower glass, especially when she's wearing the red ones.
When I approach the office, I see Vivian's red heels on the floor through the glass wall, but she's not wearing them. The heels are scattered on the floor as she's sitting on a rug by the wall, and her stockings-covered legs are spread. Her skirt is hiked and her back is against the wall.
I notice her hand between her legs and I stand still in the hallway. Her movement, that position. I know what she's doing and I wonder if she's had something to drink, that perhaps there was a special occasion and she's had one too many early cocktails. But I've never known Vivian to be a drinker. She always goes out of her way to be formal in the workplace.
Her toes curl and her stockings brush against the rug. Her thighs shiver and her back arches against the wall. When she relaxes, I know she's had an orgasm. God, the audacity of that. Especially knowing that we have a meeting. Maybe I've misjudged her all this time.
When she pulls her hand away, I see a vibrator and suddenly everything feels so much worse. Having a few drinks (assuming she's had any) and losing self-control is one thing, but having a vibrator is intentional. It's a deliberate act. Bringing something like that to the office is never an accident. She sits there for a moment to rest, the vibrator still in hand.
My initial reaction, strangely enough, is to blame myself. I'm early, after all. I check my phone and I'm six minutes ahead of our scheduled meeting. Still, that's no excuse to be doing something so lewd during peak morning hours.
I head in the other direction and pace around the hallways which have a view of the outdoor area. People walking to and from the main building. Many people are working outside with their laptops, sitting beneath tree shades.
Ten minutes later I head back to the meeting. I'm late, which bothers me, but I feel like it's enough time for Vivian to settle down from whatever state of mind she's in. When I get to her office, I knock on the glass door and enter. She's sitting behind her desk. The heels are back on her feet. She's typing on her laptop, as if she'd been working this whole time.
I apologize for being late, she's mystified that a few minutes is even an issue.
xxx
Two days later I'm back in Dr. Khanna's place of tranquility. That's what she calls it, since her main job is helping people achieve the 'winning state of mind.' It's hard to focus because of how close she is with Vivian and I'm wondering if she had any idea. I wonder if I should even broach the subject or not. She stops, reads my facial expression, and she lifts an eyebrow.
"What are you thinking?" she asks.
"Sorry, it's nothing."
