Getting Over Joel

I heard them and liked them, well before I ever met them. It was hard not to. My new neighbours liked to party outside, they laughed loudly and often.

I was intrigued.

God knows I'd been eavesdropping on their conversations for months -- endless months of leaving Joel asleep and completely sated in my bed, while I roamed my house in frustration like a silent ghost. They unwittingly provided me much comfort, many a laugh AND raised eyebrows through our adjoining fence.

I didn't know what they looked like but I knew Jodie had slept her way through ten football teams and then some. I also knew she had a penchant for wearing next to nothing which led to quite a few heated arguments when Kate bought her boyfriend Michael home.

One day I worked up the courage to pop my head over the fence and introduce myself. Before you knew it, we were three peas in a pod, the best of friends, sinking many late night drinks in their back yard around the outdoor table.

Not as many as I would've like though. Joel demanded a lot of time and was jealous of my friendships -- he was a possessive thing, my boyfriend.

And -- surprise, surprise -- he also turned out to be an ass. I never was any good at partner selection.

So when our two year relationship inevitably went to the shithouse, the girls were quick to invite me next door for some consolation.

"Hey," Kate said, by way of greeting, tilting her blonde head and looking at me askew, "I like your dress, it looks good on you."

My little white number didn't leave much to the imagination, but hey, it boosted my ego. It was definitely a head turner. Low cut and split up both sides, it showed off my tan to perfection and did wonders for my cleavage.

"Thanks darl," I gave her a twirl, showing off my other acquisition -- a killer pair of fuck-me heels. I'd been staving off depression with retail therapy.

"Niiice," she nodded in appreciation.

I closed the door behind me just as Jodie wafted past in her underwear.

"Put some bloody clothes on woman," Kate yelled. "Michael will be here any minute."

I was a little disappointed. Actually, hugely disappointed. I'd been hoping to drown my sorrows with just the girls. I didn't want excess testosterone in the room, not when I was hating on the male species for the next five hundred years.

"Chill out," Jodie instructed Kate, holding up a scoob. "Shotgun anyone?"

I watched her reverse the joint in her mouth then leaned in for a blast of concentrated smoke.

"Mm," I hummed, holding my breath.

Jodie spat out the joint and ashed in her hand. "That dress is Mm," she looked me up and down, reaching out to flick my nipple with her finger. "Headlights and all."

"I knew I should've worn a bra," I laughed, flinching away from her outrageousness.

"Not at all," Jodie protested, "You look hot."

That was just Jodie. She was a harmless, touchy-feely type and I knew not to be offended by her hands-on policy, even when I was a distinctly hands-off kind of girl.

I shrugged and took the joint from her fingers. It was too short for further shotguns so I toked it down to the cardboard filter and put it out, raising my eyebrows at Jodie as I demonstrated how to be civilised by using the ashtray.

"Would you please put some clothes on?" Kate asked her again, only to be ignored as Jodie sauntered in to the kitchen to fill our wine glasses.

I had to admit Jodie had a great ass and the best legs I've ever seen. It was hard not to stare. No wonder she walked around in underwear all the time. Flaunting herself was hardly a sin when she looked that good. Surely beautiful works of art should be on display?

And I didn't know what Kate was worrying about, we could all stand 'round naked and Michael wouldn't even look at us twice, not even one stray eyeball. He was so faithful to Kate it was sickening, in a sweet, yuk, are you a real man or not, kind of way.

"So why'd you give him the flick?" Kate asked, oblivious to the direction of my eyes, glued involuntarily to Jodie's perfect bottom. She was also oblivious to the reality of my affairs, probably because I'd given her my dignity saving version.

"Apart from his over-inflated ego, lack of any real brain, and mother issues," I said, shaking myself out of my weird ass fixation and looking up, "he never gave me a single orgasm."

"God," she shuddered violently, "Good riddance."

I shuddered myself. Despite the copious amounts of sex we'd had, the drought had been long and hard. Imagine having a boyfriend who was jealous of all things battery operated, and took sadistic pleasure in hiding your toys?

Jodie laughed hysterically. "Was the poor man unable to find your clitoris?"

"He wasn't that stupid, maybe a little heavy-handed." I didn't know why I was defending him. "Perhaps I'm incapable."

Jodie tossed her head. "That's defeatist bullshit, if ever I heard it."

The doorbell rang and Kate threw one last withering look at Jodie's state of undress, before running for the door.

"Whatever," Jodie rolled her eyes at Kate's retreating back, handing me a glass of wine. "To freedom," she toasted.

"Freedom indeed," I answered, lifting my glass to clink hers before draining it in one smooth draught.

Her eyebrows raised. "So it's like that is it?"

"Uh-huh," I nodded. "I'm in to writing myself off tonight. Goodbye cruel world."

"Can do," she said with a wicked smile, promptly refilling my glass.

I was downing my third when Michael and Kate came back in to the kitchen.

They were a good looking couple, her ice blonde hair and sweet elfin face stood out against his tall, dark and handsome. Still, Michael didn't do much for me; he was too slick, too put-together, and a little possessive for my liking.

I was still smarting over 'possessive'.

'Possessive' AND 'Dumped'.

I was still pissed over all the time I'd given up and wasted on an asshole like Joel. The two men were scarily similar. I drained my third wine in record time and held out my glass for a fourth.

"How are you Sarah?" he asked me politely, ignoring Jodie and her underwear, his eyes fixed strictly at eye level.

"Getting freakin pissed," I answered, not quite so nicely, giving him my what's it to you? look.

"Oh," he said, his face tightening with disapproval.

God, what did Kate see in him when he was always such an uptight drag?

We all migrated out to the lounge, sitting around the coffee table on sofas. I was starting to wobble a bit by wine number five.

Damn it that Michael was present. The conversation was decidedly straight laced with him around. We could hardly discuss the quality of our orgasms in his delicate hearing. Not without being lynched by Kate anyway.

"Bottoms up," Jodie encouraged, clinking glasses with me as I went for number six.

I threw my head back, tipped up my glass, and unfortunately forgot the important part -- actually putting the drink to my lips. A full glass of white wine cascaded down my front, soaking my dress.

"Dufus," Jodie cried, rolling over side ways on the couch and laughing hysterically.

"Shit," Kate said, giving me a cold stare from across the coffee table.

I looked down and realised why she was pissed off. I was suddenly the star in a one woman see-through, wet t-shirt competition. My nipples were standing out hard and visible under my white dress.

Michael had the decency to look away, which pissed me off totally, unnatural bastard. The least he could've done was appreciated the view. God knows I'd had enough rejection to last a lifetime, and not being vain or anything, but I do have spectacular tits.

"C'mon," Jodie said, still laughing but being strangely mindful of Kate's feelings. She grabbed my hand and pulled me up. "I'll help you clean up."

She dragged me in to the bathroom and I went sheepishly, not too inebriated to realise that I'd just made a prize dick of myself. Not that that would've mattered if it was just the girls.

Damn Kate, I cursed her silently. Damn her for bringing her wet blanket to a girl's night.

I sighed loudly. "I need a drink."

Jodie giggled at me; she was almost as drunk as I was.

"Hang ten, I'll be back," she told me, disappearing for a moment and returning with a bottle and two fresh glasses.

"You pour while I clean you up," she instructed, picking up a towel.

I did as I was told, refilling our glasses while I swayed slightly, but man, it was very distracting having her rub my front with a towel, stroking my nipples over and over and over again, like she was in some kind of trancelike, vegetative state.

Distracting -- because I poured more wine out of the glasses than in -- not to mention ineffective, at this rate it'd take fifty years to dry my dress.

"This isn't working," she mumbled. "We're wasting too much wine."

I nodded drunkenly, thinking she was referring to my pitiful bartending skills, but that wasn't what she meant at all.

Before I could stop her, she bent her head and latched on to one hard peak with her mouth, sucking my nipple through my dress.

"Hey," I protested in shock, my eyes wide in mute fascination.

"What?" she looked up, lapping at me with her pink tongue. It was mesmerising.

"Nothing," I muttered, wondering what the hell we were doing.

"Good." She smiled beatifically up at me and went back to work, suckling me through my dress, first one side then the other. Her mouth was hot against the cold, wet material. And God forbid, the tug on my nipples felt divine.

"I wish you had two mouths," I joked, suddenly inspired to pour a little more wine over my front. What are friends for?

"Mm," she nodded in agreement, still latched on, bringing her hands up to join in, teasing my neglected breast with a finesse that took my breath away.

I couldn't deny it no matter how wrong it was -- she looked so good tasting me. Her red lips and dark hair made a beautiful contrast against my white dress. The feelings, the visuals, were carrying me past the point of no return.

"Stuff the dress," I said, panting a little, sliding the straps over my arms and pulling the front down to expose my breasts, loving the way they stood to attention, aching for her mouth.

"I think these need a good cleaning." I laughed at my own ingenuity.

"I concur," Jodie nodded, her dark eyes glued to my chest. She patted the counter behind me, "But you better sit up here. I wouldn't want you to fall over while I'm working."

She was full of good ideas.

I hoisted myself up on the counter and leaned back against the mirror. There was a second mirror across from me, one that gave me a delectable view of Jodie's amazing rear end. How come I'd never admitted how sexy she was before?

Come to think of it, I looked pretty shit hot myself, leaning back against the mirror with my beautiful tits on display, my eyes smoking at the gorgeous sight of the two of us.

She leant in, her tongue flickering out to roll over one peak.

"Wait," I held up my hand then reached for my wine glass, dipping one breast and then the other in to Pinot Gris, making sure my nipples were dripping. The liquid was chilled and icy -- I couldn't wait for her to warm me up.

"Wouldn't want you to go thirsty," I explained slyly.

"Always thinking of others," she laughed, but the sound was cut short on my breast as she drew one iced tip in to her hot, wet mouth.

It felt so good, so unbelievably good. I couldn't believe I was letting a woman do this to me. I moaned like a slut.

I even spread my legs so that she could get closer, clasping her between my thighs.

Looking down I revelled in the incredible sight of her mouth and her hands, close-up on my skin.

I looked across and watched her from a distance, her head tilting to the side as she worked away at me, her perfect ass jutting outwards for my viewing pleasure.

"Clean harder, harder," I moaned, dropping my head back against the mirror. "Mm, just like that."

I watched her lick, and suck, and finger and squeeze my titties. I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my life. I don't think I spilt wine in my panties, but I was definitely dripping wet.

Sliding my skirt up my thighs I slid an exploratory finger in to my lace bikini. When it was coated and wet I brought it up to my mouth and tasted the juices.

Definitely not wine, but infinitely as tasty, if not better.

My actions didn't go unnoticed by Jodie. She took control of my hand and put it back where it had come from. I didn't need encouragement; she'd turned me on so much I was dying to finger myself.

I tilted my hips back for better access but before I could go to town she pulled back my hand and inserted my fingers one by one in to her mouth, sucking each digit clean.

I couldn't fucking believe it. Was this really happening?

With two hands back to rolling and tugging on my nipples she looked me straight in the eye.

"Looks like you need a clean up somewhere else instead."

"Perhaps." I was a little coy, I wasn't sure how drunk she was or how far she wanted to go. But I was too far gone to stop her if she felt so inclined.

"I better make sure," she replied, taking the wine bottle and teasing it over my straining nipples before lowering it down my body. I moved my bottom forward on the bench, eager to find out what she was up to.

Sliding a finger in to the top of my panties, she pulled the delicate fabric forward slightly, tipping the bottle up slowly until a trickle of wine ran over my clit. It was icy cold, shocking and delicious, especially when she bent over and clamped her mouth to my bikini, sucking the liquid through the lace.

I moaned and bucked my hips up in to her face.

God, the sight of her beautiful ass in the air, and her face between my legs, was unbearably sexy. I wanted more, I needed more, fuck, I had to have more before I died.

"Off, off," I moaned, lifting my bottom and dragging the sides of my knickers down in a frenzy.

She looked up at me and smiled a slow, honey of a grin. "This is your job," she handed me the bottle poised ready over my clit, and used her teeth to remove my underwear.

While she manoeuvred them over my ankles I lifted one foot on to the bench and used two fingers to part my golden curls and hold myself wide. I could see myself in the mirror, open, glistening red. It was such a beautiful sight.

She came back up and I watched her eyes cloud over at the prospect of me ready and waiting. Pushing my knees back with a vengeance, she bent over and tongued my pussy with one long upwards stroke.

I just about came then and there.

I knew she had hidden talents but I never would've guessed what a master she was at eating pussy. She feasted on me like a starving woman, lapping at my juices with a furious, insatiable greed. Inserting her tongue deep inside me, she held it rigid and tongue fucked me in and out until I was squirming on her face. Her mouth and chin were slick with my wetness.

I couldn't take my eyes off her incredible tongue. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever experienced in my lifetime, watching a woman go down on me.

And every now and then she'd touch my hand, letting me know she was thirsty, and I'd trickle more wine over my clit, gasping at the coldness of it, moaning when her hot mouth latched on to my engorged button, sucking til I thought my head would come off.

"Take your panties off and finger fuck yourself."

God, did I say that out loud? In any case, I was glad I opened my big mouth.

She complied without stilling her mouth for one second. Spreading her legs wide I could see her pussy was as wet and sexy as mine, her fingers delving in with a rapid, circular rhythm, stimulating her clit and constantly sliding inside.

I was just about horizontal on the counter by now, both feet up on the edge, using my fuck-me heels for leverage to buck up in to her face.

After one particularly hard suck on my clitoris I lifted my hips so high that she caught my bottom and held me there, slipping her tongue down to probe my asshole, tongue fucking my back hole with an intensity that had me whimpering with pleasure.

I was mindless. I didn't care who heard us. I didn't care about anything but having her tongue inside me, every which way.

No-one had ever done that to me before. I couldn't believe I'd been so neglected.

"Now I wish you had two tongues," I moaned.

She smiled wickedly, mouthing in to my dripping snatch, "You taste so goddamn good."

That was so great to know.

I put down the bottle -- I couldn't hold it up any longer.

Lifting my hands I sucked on my fingers and desperately tugged at my nipples, holding them up to lick with my own tongue, while she carried relentlessly on, alternating between sucking my clitty, licking my pussy and tongue fucking my ass hole.

I was floating in heaven, my limbs loose and tight at the same time, my mind blank except for the exquisite sensations she induced and the stunning view of her working her own fingers in to her pussy.

"I'm going to come," I cried, "I'm going to explode."

A sudden knock at the door had us both frozen in horror.

"Kate wants to know what's taking so long," Michael yelled through the door.

Jodie and I looked at each other guiltily. The door wasn't locked. Thank God it wasn't Kate who came looking for us; she would've barged straight in.

"We'll be out in a second," Jodie answered.

How could her voice sound so normal? I was dying of shame and frustration.

Sitting up quickly, I pulled my top back up over my breasts. The wet material dragged across my hard nipples with an awful finality. I slid off the counter on shaking legs to retrieve my underwear but Jodie was having none of it. The minute I bent over to pick the garment up off the floor, she dropped to her knees behind me and sunk her tongue deep in my back door.

I squealed, grabbing the towel to bite down on.

Sliding two fingers in to my pussy and finding my aching clitoris with her other hand, she finished me off in seconds, my asshole contracting down expelling her tongue, the muscles in my pussy convulsing on her fingers.

Oh my God. Oh my God. An endless orgasm rolled over me, taking my head off, sweeping me away til I collapsed against the bench to stop myself from falling down.

Fuck it had been forever since I'd come so hard. I'd forgotten how goddamn delicious it felt.

While I heaved and panted against the counter, Jodie got up and turned on the tap, casually washing her hands, her face, her pussy with handfuls of water.

"I'll get you a top to cover that dress," she said nonchalantly, as if none of it had happened. Stepping in to her underwear, she casually left the room, not looking back.

I stared at myself in the mirror thinking What the fuck?

The top of my dress was still see through, my aching nipples still erect, and my eyes were glazed -- whether from the marijuana or the sex, I couldn't tell.

Slowly I followed suit, washing myself with handfuls of water and towelling down to remove all traces of sin. My head was whirling. I still couldn't believe what had just happened.

Suddenly I couldn't look at myself any longer.

Damn it, was I sobering up?

Just to make sure, I took a long swig on the bottle.

"Sarah?" Jodie knocked at the door, opening it to bring me a jean jacket that mercifully covered my front. I was glad to see she'd found a skirt for herself; if a little too late for me, at least the covering would make Kate happier.

"See you out there," she said, sauntering out of the bathroom with the bottle and her glass in hand...