I met her in the middle of fall, when the weather was just starting to cool down. I was in the library, reworking chemistry problems late at night. She was standing by a shelf, juggling heavy books while she read off her phone. The library was nearly empty, but she dropped her books down on my table, demanding my attention. I had already been sneaking glances at her, and she must have noticed me.
"Is that organic chem?" she asked, eyeing my textbook.
"Uh, yeah," I said, not sure if she was just being polite or actually wanted to talk.
"I figured. A chem class your first semester is rough."
I nodded, not wanting to admit how much I was struggling to this confident stranger.
"You know, I have some old notes in my dorm if you want them. I don't really have any use for them," she said, smiling warmly at me.
"Really? I mean, you don't need to do that," I said, stumbling over my words.
"Really! It's not a big deal, I'm happy to help."
I smiled weakly at her, shy but a little bit excited.
"I'm parked right outside, we can head over now if you want. It's too late for you to be out, anyways," she told me, standing and picking up her stack of books, all while making eye contact.
"Okay, if you don't mind-"
"Let me give you a ride, babe," she said, cutting me off in a low, sweet voice.
Things changed so quickly. I had never been into a woman before, and all my exes and hookups had been with guys in high school. But suddenly, I felt myself blushing and turned on, just at being called "babe" by a woman.
I followed her like a lost puppy as she walked up to the desk to check out her books. Without even thinking it through, I grabbed her stack of books, my knees sagging under the weight.
"Oh, you don't have to do that-- Wait, what's your name again?" she asked as she watched me act like it wasn't heavy.
"It's Emma. And really, let me help. You're doing so much for me," I said, turning my body so she couldn't try to grab the stack from my arms.
"Well, thank you, Emma. I'm Naomi," she said, smiling in a knowing way. I blushed a little more and waited for her to guide me to her car.
The wind was cool against my warm face as we walked to her old but well taken care of Toyota. She unlocked it and opened the backseat door for me.
"Just toss those on the floor. Thank god I cleaned in here last weekend," Naomi said, opening up the passenger seat door for me before getting in and starting the car.
She was a good driver, flipping through radio stations while she kept one hand on the steering wheel. The slight bumps in the roads and jostling of the car made me aware of how turned on I had become, and it started to dawn on me how ridiculously attracted I was to Naomi. My eyes flitted from her long fingers, still resting on the radio dial, to her lips, full and moving slightly as she mouthed the words to Raspberry Beret. I couldn't look away from her, even as I was questioning why I was so drawn to her. Since when was I into girls? How could I not have noticed?
My thoughts were cut off by her soft voice, though her eyes were thankfully still on the road and not able to see my mine roaming.
"How old are you, Emma?"
"I just turned nineteen a couple weeks ago," I said, realizing how gross it was to be thirsting over a stranger like this.
"Ah, okay. I'm twenty," she said, the visible corner of her mouth turning up. I was still staring at her lips. When we finally got to her dorm, the minutes long drive feeling like hours, she parked and turned to look at me. I averted my eyes, trying to understand why I found the act of her parking so hot.
"Emma, are you okay? I can take you to get something to eat, if you want," she said, mistaking my sexually confused anxiety for being sick.
"I'm okay, I think I was just studying too late," I said, still not looking quite at her.
"Hmm, okay. You can stay here or if you
want, you come up with me while I find those notes." I nodded, reaching to unbuckle my seatbelt so I could get to the books before she did. It felt like my pride was hanging on my ability to carry them and be strong in front of her.
She smiled again, then started telling me about her roommate, whose boyfriend had an apartment close to campus. I lost track of what she was telling me, too focused on the way her body moved as she brought me up to her room.
After setting the books down, I glanced around her room, looking over the decorations and trinkets that piled up after two years of college. Her bed was unmade and comfortable looking, which only made it harder to not fantasize about her. Then I spotted the small rainbow flag, in a cup of pens on her desk.
My mind ran faster, wondering if she thought I was gay, if she was flirting with me, if it was rude to assume she would even be interested in me.
Her voice cut through my thoughts again, as she turned to look at me.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Naomi asked, clearly concerned. I managed to stop staring at her lips and look her in the eyes.
"I'm sorry, I... well, I-- you're really hot," I said, before I was even really aware of what I was saying.
Naomi raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to me. "Oh, really?"
"Uh huh," I said, almost whispering as I looked at her, blushing more than I ever had before.
"Is that why you agreed to come with me?" Her voice was teasing and sweet, like it was cute how embarrassed I was.
"I mean, I do want those chem notes but..."
