It's Friday night, close to 11pm. We drive through the screaming black night, Jamie, Toots and I. Hardcore house music pumps from the stereo. I lay half wasted on the back seat, my legs thrown across Toot's lap. I have a cigarette in one hand, a half - bottle of vodka in the other. My face is streaked with tears and mascara, my mind numb from all the beak and alcohol I have ingested.
JD and I have argued again. A big, screaming, violent row in front of all our friends in the pub. JD is a tosser I have decided and I just want to get rid of him from my mind. Toots looks down at me comfortingly and I smile back at him. He's a good friend. He'll look after me.
The car jolts as we approach to a halt at a red light, and I can feel the engine turn as Jamie teases the accelerator with his foot, waiting for the lights to change. The vehicle is like a loaded gun in his capable hands, he is a coiled spring at the wheel of the stolen BMW. I see his reflection in the windscreen, pale and wasted, his eyes bloodshot and faraway.
He is impatient tonight. His jaw is constantly moving as he grinds hid teeth, unable to withstand the wait at the red light. Jamie craves the speed, the thrill of the night time drive, and he eyes the traffic light like a hawk surveying it's prey. I can see nothing save Jamie's reflection. All is else is black, so I roll back my head and stare blankly at the roof of the Beamer.
I feel drunk and high, just slightly nauseous. The noise of the car and the voices of my companions all blur into one long drone that coils like a snake in the space above me. The car is alive, throbbing, the vibrations are crawling along my inner thighs and I blow smoke into the air and think I might pass out.
Then I hear the revs of the car accelerate and suddenly we are moving again, faster and faster as Jamie floors it. As I squirm on the back seat my top rises, and I get a shock from the cold leather against my naked back. It brings me round again, and I pull my self up on my elbows.
"You alright babe?" Toots asks. I nod to reassure him that I am. He has a nice smile and he gives me a cheeky wink.
"You been hitting it hard tonight," he says. I begin to laugh.
"Would you expect anything less?" I reply. My throat is dry and my voice is not much more than a hoarse croak. This time it's Toots who is laughing. I take a mouthful of vodka and pass it to him. He says his thanks and takes a hit. I turn to Jamie.
"How is he?" I ask Toots. Toots hands back the bottle.
"He's alright. Not said much said we left the pub. Think he wants to kill JD for talking to you like that."
"Well, it's nothing to do with him," I say, my eyes still trained on Jamie's reflection in the rear view mirror. And it wasn't. Jamie had his chance with me and blew it. I was JD's girl now. Or was. Now I belonged to no-one.
After what feels like an eternity the car suddenly makes a sharp right turn and we are speeding down the High Street of town. Then the breaks screech and the car comes to an unexpected halt. Jamie kills the engine and turns to face Toots and I.
"Come on" he orders. "We're here". I didn't know where "here" was, but we do as Jamie asks and get out of the BMW. You don't argue with Jamie when he is pissed. It is a cold, freezing night. I am inappropriately dressed in my top and short skirt, but Toot's gives me his jacket and I put it on. Jamie has stormed off so I follow, tottering in my heels to keep up. Toot's catches up to my side and links his arm with mine. I offer my thanks and we walk quietly in Jamie's shadow.
Jamie is in a right mood, I can tell. He takes a drags on a cigarette and takes a sly look over his shoulder to make sure we are keeping up. There is not much kindness in his handsome face tonight.
"Bloody hell," says Toots. "What's eating him now?"
I couldn't say. Jamie was known for his temper, but if this was about JD and I, it was going on a bit too long now. After all, it's not as if JD and I hadn't argued before. We were always rowing about something., and it hadn't bothered Jamie much in the past. So why now?
We had been walking a couple of minutes now and I was beginning to recognise my surroundings. This was my home town but I was pretty pissed and stoned, so it took a while for me to understand where we were and where we were going.
"Is he taking us to Starlights?" I whisper to Toots.
"Fuck knows," Toots replies in his light Jamaican lilt. "But wherever we are going, I hope we get there soon. I'm fucking freezing!"
I couldn't have agreed with Toots more. I fumble for some cigarettes and pass them to him. He lights a couple of smokes and passes them round. I look up at the sky. It is black as could be, and mad with stars. Such beauty up above this concrete jungle, this suburban hell.
I wish I could reach out and be up there amongst the stars, high above the madness of what is my young life. I feel sick and dirty. I just want to go home and sleep. No more beak or booze. Just rest and a clear head tomorrow. But that isn't going to happen, not if we are going to Starlights, the maddest, hippest club in town.
Sure enough as we follow Jamie up the street I see the gaudy neon sign pronouncing that we have arrived at the club. There is a line of young people snaking along the front of the building, waiting in the cold to get in.
The doorman are guarding the door, and as we approach I hear them shouting to the waiting punters that they are full and no-one else is to be allowed in.But Jamie just walks to the front of the line and, I don't know what he says, but the doorman just open the door and let him in. Toots and I stop as Jamie disappears inside the club.
"Bastard," I say. "What a complete bastard." But then the doorman gesture to Toots and I.
"And you two," he says gruffly. "Come on."
Suddenly I feel bad for bad-mouthing Jamie. We are going clubbing. There are moans of disapproval from the waiting punters, who have probably been waiting hours to get in, but what can I do? Toots pulls me forward and we disappear inside the building.