Fortunes Wiles Ch 02

Chapter 1

Lanie was taken away from me; My tears had threatened to be eternal. How could they not? Lanie was everything to me: counselor when that was my greatest need; almost instant lover; savior; then my wife, my whole life.

Some too rich, too indulged idiot who thought nothing and no one should be deprived to him just couldn't take no to his advances and in a rage, bashed her head against a building in an alley--and I wasn't there to protect her. I could have for she had encouraged me to learn martial arts--and I was more than good at it.

It was small comfort--if any--to know that he was given a life sentence without possibility of parole. His very absent and uncaring parents parents paid a dear civil price, but that too gave me no comfort or solace.

Fortune had been kind to us until that fateful day, to me in particular. We enjoyed a few years of pure bliss. Our life was beautiful. The college where she worked could say nothing as I was no longer an under graduate, and we were married. We didn't make a public display in any way unless one could call us having lunch a display that was too shocking to bear. After school, it was all us, and nothing but us and our love.

* * * *

When that fateful call came I had been home cleaning. It had to be a bad joke, I was certain, but I was assured it wasn't. it was just a call to make sure I was the proper person to notify. There would be no argument from me on whether or not I was the proper person; I understood the bureaucracy. Lanie had been hurt, and officers were on the way to our house.

They arrived minutes after the call.

"I'm sorry to advise you, Ma'am, but Ms. Collins has been killed," the officer told me.

I fainted straightaway. Everything that was me disappeared, and blackness ensued. When I was given smelling salts, and came out of it, I still was in disbelief. There was an error, I was sure. Quickly, I went with them to see, and to let them know that there was no doubt that they were mistaken, but that didn't stop my tears. There was no stopping them.

They weren't mistaken. It seemed my tears would never end. It took some time, but what all had happened went in one ear and out the other. When I was told what told had happened it did finally penetrate. I was both sorrowing and angry to the point of an intolerable rage. My sorrow won out. How could it not?

Chapter 2

"What?" Lanie's mother screamed in my ear when I called her.

There was that dreadful silence I had recently had in my own right, the disbelief that tears at one's heart and soul, the very fabric of your being; blocks all out of existence but a refusal to acknowledge that what one is being told could possibly be true.

"Lanie is dead," I barely got out, my sorrow, my grief, unbearable.

Lanie's parents, unlike my own, had not totally treated Lanie with disdain when she had told them that she was a lesbian. They had loved her dearly once, and still did, though they hated that she said she was a lesbian.

"I will wait for a couple of days so that you can see her before I follow her last wishes," I worked up the will to say after a long silence.

"What happened?" Mrs. Collins asked through her tears, her own personal grief expressing itself much as mine had.

"They're not totally sure yet. A wild man used to getting his way was believed to be enjoying himself in his own perverted manner, when he decided that Lanie couldn't possibly resist him. Though others with him tried to keep him from her, his rage at being rejected was too much for him. He beat her senseless, then knocking her head against the buildings brick siding killing her.

Saying that, slow as it came out, I crumpled to the floor sobbing for my beloved Lanie, sensing that I would never be able to go on without her. It had to be a sorry picture; Mrs. Collins also sobbing for her only child.

Chapter 3

My good fortune was replaced with seemingly permanent desolation, my love, my life, was gone. Lanie truly was everything to me. She was my morning, my night, my sun and my moon and stars. She was the breath I breathed, the sustenance of my being. She was the heart that beat in me, as well as every thought I had—and yes, my pussy mourned for her without end. When we were alone, our nights had been spent in searching out our love.

Lanie's mother and I went through everything we could find that was hers, that had a hint of her being with us, in the hopes that the total of them would reincarnate her for us. Without Lanie, we were as dead too.

* * * *

There were only two things that came of Lanie's death that could be said to be good, and that's that Mrs. Collins' love of Lanie came out again in full force such that she accepted me as her daughter-in-law, or simply as a new daughter. That did give me a respite from my sorrowing, but only for an occasional moment. Mr. Collins was not as demonstrative, but also accepted me.

Though they couldn't believe that Lanie's last wishes were to be cremated, they also accepted that. From the college, many came, but most I wish hadn't; a few I was glad to see, glad to have their hug and condolences. I had to suffer through all of that for the sake of Lanie's parents. Then there were a couple of girls whom Lanie, mostly, and I had helped, one who thought she might be a lesbian, and another who was afraid of being a lesbian. Their hugs I welcomed.

After it was all said and done, and Mrs. Collins, 'Mom', had invited me to visit, and often, I was still left to face the ghost of what had been our life. One night in our house, I couldn't bear it without Lanie. The next day, I fled for parts unknown, and came back a week later—nothing had changed save that I met with Michelle, a lesbian attorney whom fortune hadn't worked its miserable workings on as it had with Lanie and me. Her partner of over twenty years was still her partner, and she understood our life.

The parents of man who had visited Lanie with his unspeakable terror tried to vanish, but couldn't escape before Michelle got to them. It turned out that those who had despised them secretly had come out of the woodwork to confess all of the sins of that family that none of them had ever had the nerve to openly speak of before. Vengeance is a real bitch, and these people were bitchy indeed. His parents were too permissive, had used their money and power to bail him out of his many scrapes, his many peccadillos, and they were innumerable as it turned out, including rapes and beatings of other women.

Michelle sued and secured millions in judgement later on, but I didn't need it, didn't want it, didn't do anything with it. If I couldn't have my Lanie, I just wanted the nerve to die in the hopes that we are spirit and that I might be able to thus find her again.

I never told the college I was leaving, I just simply didn't show up again. Nor had I gone to our cabin, fearful of my heart not being able to take being there without my love, though in time, I did go back. As I cleaned on it, I wondered at how clean it had been when Lanie first took me there. She had to have been there before then to clean it up. What was also there, besides many lovely memories of our love, was the dock and lake, and the body bag Lanie had put in for me to do my martial arts work if I wanted to. She had enjoyed watching me many times.

Going out at night, taking all of my clothes off and jumping into the water, I first feared I might decide to do away with my worthless life there, but the very chill of it wakened my senses to the sudden need to stay warm. Thereafter, when I swam there, my mind was always on Lanie and how we loved being at the lake, and how we made love there so often.

Similarly, when I got up the gumption to work out with the body bag, each punch, and each kick, was punctuated by my tears as I kept seeing Lanie watching me with her playful smile. God, I loved her smile! Then too, sometimes I saw what I took to be her assailant's body, and beat the body bag mercilessly. After each time like that, it wasn't only my heart that was sore, but my body with it, I beat so hard on the body bag.

In time, I left my 'estate' in Michelle's hands, and took to traveling again. One of my first stops was Lanie's home where 'Mom' greeted me with far more warmth than I ever had at my home. Staying the night in 'Lanie's room', I cried myself to sleep, and awoke with tears still in my eyes. When Mom came to see if I was awake, she saw my state, and came to lay beside me and hug me for ever so long as I cried more tears.

"You really loved her, didn't you?" she asked gently, softly, her hand on my cheek, then combing my hair.

"Yes, Lanie was my life. I'll always love her," was all I could say.

Needless to say, I couldn't stay there another night. Going to other nearby towns, I stayed at motels, and wandered in search of something, anything, that was different.

Chapter 4

Needing money, I walked inside a branch bank where I kept some of my funds, withdrew some money, and walked out. In the parking lot, a woman who'd come out just before me was being accosted by two men.

Walking over, I saw that one had a knife, and was demanding she give them the cash that she had.

"Let her go," I told them without thought, my voice fairly quiet, but unafraid.

"Fuck off, bitch," the one said as the other came to me.

He knew nothing about protecting himself, depending on maleness to do whatever he had in mind. In a moment he was on the floor howling in pain, disabled and no longer a danger to anyone.

"Fucking bitch!" the other one shouted, looking at his friend who was crawling away as best he could, holding his hip.

"Let her go, and you can get your friend and leave," I told him.

"Fuck you," he said, and decided to try his luck, figuring his knife was the difference. It wasn't.

His problem was his gut and then his face. The lady just looked at me.

"Are you hurt?" I asked. She was of a pretty good size, and somehow I thought that if it had just been one of them, she might have taken care of herself okay, knife or no knife.

"No, they didn't do me any harm. Thanks. I guess I best call the cops, huh?"

She was cool, unfazed.

"Good idea. They won't get far, and they can't hurt anyone now."

She started to say something else, but I was already leaving. I wanted no part of what was to come; it was not what I was looking for, if I even knew what I was looking for.

I did hear her say, "Bitch," but in a nice, somewhat awed voice. Somehow it reminded me of the few times Lanie had called me that, but in the sweetest of ways.

Chapter 5

Some days later, I wandered into a lesbian club. Melissa had suggested that maybe just being around other lesbians might do me some good.

"Not saying you should go looking to get laid, but you won't find a lesbian atmosphere any where else. Find a lesbian center, or club. Maybe it'll be good for your spirits," she'd told me.

I said I might do that, and later, I did.

* * * *

"As I live and breathe," I heard over the music as I scanned the good crowd. "How're you doing, girl? Sit and tell me what I can get you, or if you just wanna look things over from a table, take your pick, honey," a fast talking voice said.

Looking, I was mildly surprised to see the lady that the thugs tried to rob.

"Thank you, I'll take a table and a glass of red wine."

"Find a spot you like; I'll bring it over," she said.

Sitting at a table that didn't yet have many people nearby, I continued to look. They ranged from young to middle-age, plus a few older ones too. The dance floor was sedate so far, but the dancers were having a good time teasing lightly.

"My name's Jade. I own the place with my partner. What's your name?"

"Cate," I said, pulling out a ten.

"Uh-uh, on the house. Didn't get to thank you, you ran off so quick, so thanks. One, I coulda handled okay, two, and with a knife, kinda dicey. You were great. Mind if I sit down?"

"Please," I said politely.

"Cops wanted to know if you were in trouble yourself maybe since you didn't hang around. I told 'em you couldn't be, you weren't in any hurry. Where'd you learn to fight like that?"

"Took a few classes," I said.

"The fuck you say! Looks like you mighta been one of them pros, or something," she said in a friendly way.

I smiled," No," was all I said.

"Well, at least now I know you know how to smile. I sorta wondered about that later."

"Wondering is good. I like to wonder on occasion," I said, but wished she'd go wait on a customer.

"Are you new in town?" she dug for more to talk about.

"Sort of, but not really. Just decided to look, and have a drink."

"Well, whatever you want—from the bar, that is—it's on the house. The rest is up to you, but I don't think you'll have any problem," she said with a wink and a smile.

"Thanks," I said.

She left, but I liked her, though I was glad she left. She wasn't pushy, just being friendly with a new customer. Lanie and I had often talked of visiting a lesbian bar just to say we'd done it, but it was never high on our agenda. I certainly hadn't missed it, but from what I saw so far, we might have enjoyed it at this one.

The place started to really fill up. There was one group that had caught my eye. They looked as if some of them were paired off and in a good, comfortable company of friends. On occasion they'd laugh loudly, but mostly they talked animatedly, and smiled a lot. Watching them made me feel good, but very lonely, melancholy, and that wasn't good for me.

Staying a while longer, and having another glass of wine that Jade carted over to me, I began to wonder if Lanie had known how to dance. She said she did. We'd talked about her teaching me, but every time we touched we wound up in bed, or wherever, depending on how the touch affected either or both of us. So I did watch the dancers and how they moved, how they teased each other. Some did a very creditable job, and very sexily so.

Finally, I decided to give up my table to the more that were coming in. Walking to the bar, Jade made to wave good-bye to me, then saw me put a couple of bills on the bar, and started towards me, but I was already near the door.

"Bitch!" I heard her say again, but in a good way, and a small snigger to boot. That did remind me of Lanie. The memory was good, and it was terrible, tearing at my heart and mind—if my eyes kept from crying, my pussy had no such reticence—it longed for Lanie with an endless desire.

Chapter 6

I was taken with the wandering I was doing, like the dust I swept out of the cabin that flew out this way and that with the breeze. I visited Lanie's grave and had my monthly cry, and reminisced as I did when I was there. Lanie wanted to be cremated, and found a spot in the cemetery to have her ashes mixed in around a huge tree. She dickered with the owners, and finally got her way, but only after some money had been agreed on. I was sure they never expected Lanie to ever be back and buried, at least not any time soon. Neither had Lanie. Neither had I.

It shocked Mom when she found out what was to be done with Lanie's body, but she kept her peace. What I did was to take the urn that had Lanie's ashes in it and sprinkled them around the large tree, then mixed them in with the soil already there. After that, a headstone was placed next to it, just a few feet from the tree trunk, with her name and dates, and 'Beloved wife' etched on it.

* * * *

Jade's club became a place I liked to visit some weekends. The attraction was that one group I'd taken a liking to, and the dancers, as well, I'll admit, as well as some of Jade's sage words when she stopped by to say hello. I saw but didn't meet her partner; it was Jade that spoke to me, and freely. By freely, I mean that there was no jockeying for what to say, she just said as came to her, and always with a smile that welcomed me.

I also began to notice a few of the baddies there, the ring leader apparently being called Attila. She was big, I'll give her that, and she was pushy, but there were some she walked on tip-toes with, that was obvious no matter the bluff and gruff show she put on. She and her group were more or less harmless, and well known to everyone, and as well, avoided by everyone. They just came in to blow off steam, and maybe look for the occasional newbie. Jade's interest in me must have kept them from approaching me—that or I'd lost my sex appeal which I didn't think I had, then thought that no one put a move on me, so it must be Jade. One of those small things, I guessed.

A month later, after a particularly sad and draining visit to Lanie, I was back at Jade's club again.

"Hey, girl, missed you. Good to see you again," she greeted me in her usual fashion.

"Hi. Just wanted to sit a while if that's okay?"

"Table?"

"Yes, if you don't mind," I told her.

"For you, I'd kick someone's ass out," she kidded, but then again, she may not have been kidding; I considered her to be kidding though. "Usual wine?"

I nodded, and in a minute she was there with my wine glass.

"It is good to see you again, girl. I've thought about you a few times, and wondered if there was anything I could do for you. You're always alone, and you don't hit on anyone, so..."

She was fishing, but as a friend she'd decided to adopt. She made no overt moves otherwise, and gave no vibes of anything other than friendship, which I appreciated.

"Thank you, Jade, but I just like to come in every now and then and enjoy the people, and the dancers too. Some are very good."

"And a few can get mighty raunchy," she laughed. "Come in enough and you'll see, especially a little later on in the night. God, some of them make me want to close up the bar and take my gal home, or even in the parking lot," she said with a heated fervor that did nothing to hide that she meant it.

I smiled. "That bad, huh?"

"Bad, hell, it's good, I tell ya. Damn, they get it on, but not all of 'em. I guess you've seen we have a pretty eclectic bunch here. Those I've seen you watch sometimes—that big group with the one huge momma with the fantastic bod, they're always as you see them, just a good bunch of gals like mother always dreamed of her girls being. Well, if they weren't lezzies, that is," she laughed.

I laughed quietly with her. "It may surprise you, but some mothers don't mind their daughters being lesbians, but I think you're basically right otherwise."

"You know, you got a way of talking like you have an education," she said, leaving off to see what other information I'd give her about myself.

"Some," I said, and grinned.

"That big girl I mentioned, Jabs, they call her, she's educated too. I bet you'd really like her. To talk to, I mean. She and another one that was shot and killed some time ago, used to talk up an educated storm."

"They do seem like a wonderful group, but I didn't know I was so obvious in looking at them."

"You're not really. I just notice you a lot. Hope that don't bother you."

"No, Jade, you're very friendly, and I appreciate a good friend. Thank you," I said with a smile.

"You're welcome, hon, and if you ever decide you'd like to talk with them, I'll let them know. They love new friends, and I mean that."

"I'm sure you do, and thank you again."

As Jade had said, sometime later my eye was taken with a couple I hadn't seen dancing before. After some moves as if doing an acting job, their fluid movements suddenly becoming quite stationary, but their mid and upper body movements never ceased. They both had on short skirts, and the one would stand fairly still while the other swayed, then jogged her pussy on the other dancers thigh. It was a fabulous act and dance scenario, and the orgasm that the one showed didn't appear to be faked.

Then it was the other one's turn, and with her face towards me, I knew the orgasm wasn't fake. That made my mind drift to Lanie again, and I felt a sudden aching as I'd not had in a long time. I wanted to do that with Lanie because I knew she'd of loved it. My tears started to come, but I caught them before they could get out. If I'd have cried as I sensed I might have, Jade would have been at the table instantly and asking untold questions.