XII
On Saturday, although we were not meeting Austin and Lexi until one o'clock, Leah came over around eleven. Gabriel was putting in a full day of work, as he often did this time of year, and Leah's parents had already picked up Madison and Samuel. To kill two hours, we ended up cuddling on the couch, watch re-runs of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
I was running my fingers through Leah's hair as I started thinking about later that night; being in a hotel room, alone with my girl. I knew Leah's divorce lingered on both of our minds, but it went without saying that we wanted to enjoy this weekend together.
"Can I ask you something?" Leah questioned, breaking my thoughts as she muted the drama.
"Sure," I replied, "what's up?"
"Does it upset you to talk about your sister?" she asked, turning her head so she could look up at me.
"No, not anymore," I responded looking down at her, "Why?"
"Well, you only talked about her once, and that was only because I asked you to tell me something about you, so I wasn't sure," Leah answered, "and I wanted to know more about her, since she means so much to you.:
"Ask anything you want," I said as I combed my fingers through her hair.
"Let's start with her name?" Leah asked, "If you don't mind."
"Not at all, her name was Jaime. Jaime Rose," I replied.
"What was Jaime like?" Leah inquired.
"She was so young, so full of life," I started as I continued to play with Leah's hair, "Jaime and I were best friends. We shared everything, from a bedroom to secrets to clothes when need-be. However, where I was a total tomboy, she was a total girly-girl. While I had guy friends, Jaime had guys all over her. Sure she dated some, but no one at school was good enough for her. She knew what she wanted, and she stood for it. She was mature enough to see what the teenage guys wanted as well."
I paused to take a breath.
"Go on," Leah urged me.
"Jaime's long blonde hair was perfect, and I was jealous. I wore mine in a ponytail everyday but she always left it down, except when she played volleyball.
"She was on the high school team, and made varsity her freshman year. She helped the team make it to states during her sophomore year, but they lost in the finals. While the rest of the team was bummed about the loss, Jaime kept saying there's always next year. That was the way she lived; if something went wrong today, there is always tomorrow. I wish you could have met her."
"I already have. She's in you. Calie, Jaime is such an integral part of you. I see her how you describe her. I see her in you."
I thought about what Leah said, and realized just how true her words really were.
----------
After lounging around for a while, just enjoying each other's company, I looked at the clock on the wall.
"I think we better get ready to go," I said to Leah. "Austin's driving, and he can get quite impatient while waiting on people to show up."
"What time is it?" she asked as she sat up.
"Twelve thirty," I answered, getting off the couch.
I turned around and offered her my hand to help her get off of the couch. After standing up, she let go of my hand, and walked over to the bags that had been left by the door.
"Wait. Hang on," I said, as I stood where she left me.
"Everything okay?" Leah questioned, looking back at me with a worried look on her face.
"Yeah. Come upstairs with me for a second though," I responded as I started up the stairs.
"I don't think we have time for that," Leah said teasingly as she followed me.
"Not exactly what I had in mind, My Dear," I replied back over my shoulder.
I entered the bedroom that I shared with my husband, and sat down on the foot of my side of the bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leah leaning up against the door frame, as if not knowing whether she should come in. I leaned down, and pulled a tin box from under the bed; it resembled a child's lunch box. I ran my fingers over the letters that I had painted on it more than eight years ago, spelling out JAIME.
When Leah saw what I was holding, she came in and sat down on the bed next to me. She didn't say anything, respecting my silence. As I unhooked the small latch, Leah put her hand on the bed, around my body, to hold herself up while also leaning into me. I pulled out a folded, unstructured, light blue North Carolina Volleyball hat.
"Jaime dreamed of being a Tar Heel for as long as I could remember. She hoped to get a volleyball scholarship so that she could afford to go there," I explained to Leah, as I held the cap in my hands, "I bought her this hat for her sixteenth birthday, and she used to wear it everywhere."
I turned the hat over, and opened it up; inside of it was my braided hemp bracelet, identical to Jaime's that I now wore. Laying the cap on my lap, I gently took out the bracelet and reached for Leah's hand.
"I'd like you to have this," I whispered.
"No, I couldn't," Leah responded, shaking her head.
"Please?" I asked.
Leah didn't reply; she just looked up at me. There was a mix of confusion and fear in her eyes.
"Listen, this one is mine," I said, pointing to the one that Leah was now holding, "I'll always wear Jaime's now, and I'd like you to wear mine."
"Thank you," Leah replied solemnly as she wrapped her fingers around the treasure in her hand, "but, you don't have to do this."
"Yes, I do," I responded placing my hand around hers that was closed over the bracelet, "Jaime would want me to."
"Do you think she'd like me?" Leah asked so childlike.
"Without a doubt," I answered. I cupped her chin in my hand and kissed her forehead, "there will never be any doubt in my mind about that."
As Leah opened her hand, and slid her left wrist through the bracelet, I placed the hat back in the box.
"Can I see what else is in there?" Leah asked hesitantly as I locked it and placed it back under the bed.
"Someday," I replied, "but we really need to head out now."
"Yeah, good point," Leah responded as she stood up from the bed.
I reached for her hands, and held on to both of them as I pulled her down to my lips.
"Thank you," she said again after we pulled away, and I knew it wasn't about the kiss.
"You're welcome," I replied.
I stood up and let Leah lead me, still holding hands, down the stairs to our bags at the door. We each grabbed our own bags and took them out to my car. I went back to the front door to lock up, and then we got into the car to head to Lexi and Austin's.
"Listen, Leah," I said as I reached for her hand after turning onto the main road, "there's something I should tell you about tonight."
"What's up?" Leah responded turning her attention to me.
"Katherine's band...um, is a big supporter of the LGBT community," I stated.
"Okay?" Leah replied, sounding confused.
"I'm just letting you know now, so that you don't feel blind-sided when you walk in and see a bunch of Lesbians," I explained as I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb, "I didn't ask you to come along to pressure you into anything, and I don't want you to think I had any ulterior motives."
