For Your Eyes Only

I wrote this short story for an ex-girlfriend and I stumbled upon it today on my laptop. It's odd sharing something that was meant to be for her eyes only, but reading it reminded me of the pure passion and lust that I'm pretty sure kept us together longer than we should have been. That just seems relatable. You're still my favorite first kiss J. This one was for you, but I'm ready to share it.

*****

She kissed me and it threw me back in time to our first kiss. There we were, outside her house after our first date. The anticipation for this moment was overwhelming and almost paralyzing now. There were a million thoughts rushing through my head that seemed so important at the time, but completely trivial now.

Should I put my hand on her neck?

Hands that were cold from the hours we had spent at the beach talking. I should have kissed her there. I was trying to suppress a montage of clichéd first kiss movie scenes from invading my already crowded mind.

Just kiss her

.

I edged myself, trying to battle my nerves but there was one persistent thought I couldn't silence. What if she doesn't feel anything special? If there's no spark? What if she wasn't feeling any chemistry between us the whole night and this kiss is the final blow. But everything was silenced when I looked into her eyes and I was drawn in.

I leaned in for a kiss and felt every muscle in my body relax when my lips touched hers. It was a match made in heaven the way our lips fit together. My immediate afterthought was how I wanted a lifetime of these kisses. How I wanted unlimited and unconditional access to those perfectly soft lips. I pulled away and the moment was over but engraved in my memory forever. "Drive safe okay?" I said, looking into those beautiful hazel eyes. "I will." She answered, unfalteringly meeting my gaze. We said goodbye and I watched her walk away.

When I finally sat down in my car I was a nervous wreck again.

Did she feel that or did I imagine everything?

I waited for my hands to defrost while my head continued to run around in circles. After a few minutes I started my car remembering she would be back out again shortly to make her drive back up to Gainesville and I didn't want to seem like a creep still parked outside. I drove up to the first stop sign out of the neighborhood and heard the quiet ping of a text message.

"My heart is racing." It said.

And with that I was brought back to this moment. Laying in her bed, bodies pressed up against one another, and with one kiss she still took my breath away and made my heart race. But it was more than that now. She kissed me like she knew everything about me. As if she knew how badly I craved her lips all day or how good it felt. She kissed me with so much passion and meaning that if I let myself get carried away I'd start to feel lightheaded.

She's on top of me with one hand on the back of my neck while my hands are suddenly the most indecisive part of my body. One hand's running through her hair while the other rests on her hip but within a few seconds I start to rub her back with both hands instead. The back with the defined arc and dimples right above her butt that drive me crazy. I run my hands up and down her back a few times but before I knew it one hand is grabbing her ass.

I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

That perfect butt. I remember all the nights I would rub her butt gently until she fell asleep but this was nothing like that. There wasn't anything gentle about this. This was me grabbing her ass lustfully because I could...because it was mine. My other hand found its way to something else that was mine, her perfect breasts. I squeezed my hand in between us just so I could play with her already hard nipples. All our clothes were already thrown on the floor or lost somewhere in the sheets. After a while of teasing her nipples my hands just wanted to feel every inch of bare skin I could reach.

Luckiest fucking girl in the world.

She stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes. Sometimes I would ask her what's wrong, but sometimes I knew she just wanted to take a second to look at me. She just wanted to see right through me, and I let her. I looked back into those beautiful hazel eyes and I knew she could see all the want that had grown these weeks. All the nights I had laid in my empty bed just wishing she was there...thinking of all the things I wanted to do to her. I slid my hand down in between her legs and feel her.

"You're so wet right now." I said, continuing to slide my fingers in between her lips.

"Tell me something I don't know." She replied, followed by a soft moan as I started to gently rub her clit.

She leaned back in to kiss me but I pressed my lips to her ear.

"I wanna fuck you." I said strongly.

"Oh yeah?" She said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah." I answered firmly. I traced my other hand down the perfect arc in her back. One of the sexiest things about her.

"How?" She asked, as she spread her legs across me and slowly started to grind in to me. She teased me with the motions of her hips, waiting for me to come out and say it.

"Wherever you put it babe. In your closet, under the bed, in your drawer with your other toys...you should go get it now." I said, my voice faltering towards the end as I could feel how wet she was pressed up against me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She replied, pushing into me harder and faster now. I didn't think I could hold out much longer. I was craving her so desperately now.

"The strap on." I blurted, and she stopped teasing me.

"Oh thattttt." She said, as she got up to go get it.

I got out of bed and watched the sexy silhouette of her body come back to me with a loaded strap on in her hand. I slipped the harness on and I looked to her for guidance. She tightened it around my waist and looked up at me.

"You look so fucking sexy." She said.

I pulled her in for a kiss and she pushed me gently onto the bed. I laid back and she slowly crawled into bed next to me, never letting our lips stop touching. Then I slipped in between her legs and used my hand to guide the strap on where it needed to be and I let it slowly slide into her. I looked into her eyes as her head titled back and her lips parted slightly. I did it again and she placed her hands on the back of my neck. I couldn't feel her like I could with my hands, but I could feel what it was doing to her. I started to make love to her slowly, like all the times I had imagined, but it could never have even come close to what it was really like.

In that moment there was nothing separating us. I wasn't just thrusting mindlessly in and out of her, I was a part of her. I moved in a way that came naturally and when I became more comfortable I let my hand rest between her head and the pillow. Her eyes were full of so much passion and pleasure, they mesmerized me. But that passion and ecstasy soon turned to a primal craving. I wanted to fuck her like I had never done before.

"Faster." She said, echoing my own needs.

I let the muscles in my hips I had never used like this before take over and started thrusting into her faster. I started to ride her faster as our breathing got heavier. Even as I started to ride her faster I could feel her whole body meeting mine with every push. I loved looking down at her breasts as they bounced when I started going harder, but not as much as I loved hearing those sexy moans or looking up at her face. To see how her eyes gave away how much she was enjoying this. I fucked her harder and faster until her body started to tremble with pleasure.

Her eyes widened and she tightened her grip on the back of my head. The sexiest moans escaped her and she closed her eyes. I felt my own body began to shake and lose control as I rode her to orgasm. She wrapped her legs around me and held me there for a few seconds, holding me tightly. Somehow we were able to say I love you, and it brought me back to the first time I had said it...in a moment just like this. I was so swept up by how perfectly we fit together, how amazingly her body felt pressed up against me, and how I knew nothing in life would ever come close to this feeling of ecstasy.