Finding Me

The door slammed behind me and I was out… out on my ear, out on my arse…whatever.

I was out. I walked a little down the road, stopped, turned.

I want to go back.

I sat down on the cold, damp pavement, my last attempt to stop my feet from walking back to that house.

There's no turning back girl! You hate it there, you know you do!

I recited the familiar words to myself. I'd been in that house for three months and all it brought me was tears... and an idiot boyfriend.

Why is it so hard to leave?

I've done this so many times, you'd think leaving another dull, self-indulged asshole would be a breeze after the first ten times.

Men are knobs!

My skirts soaked through, I can feel the moisture on my buttocks; I hate it when they get cold and go all pink and clammy. A raindrop fell on my head, but I did not move. Slowly, my top turned completely invisible and I have to give up and go home.

It's been another three months since I tried to leave, he didn't even notice I've left.

Dick.

Maybe it's a good thing though...

I'm sitting in the front room, the distillers screaming through the speakers of my over sized stereo; the room is thick with smoke and the smell of dope. I realised I'm a bit high. I chuckled to myself. I love that feeling, suddenly noticing that I haven't got a clue how I got here.

"What's funny?"

I turned to see this annoyingly beautiful face staring curiously at me. She's high too, her pupils were dancing... or was it just my sight going wild.

Wow… she's beautiful. Who is she?

"I'm Amber, I work with Steve..."

Did I say that out loud? Maybe she's telepathic...

Your boobs are perfect,

I kept on thinking, wondering if she could read that in my mind too. When she did not react, I deduced that she just guessed my first two thoughts.

"Hi, I'm Rosie." I stammered.

"You're beautiful."

Shit. Great. Well done dick wad! Oh my God… please don't run off you amazing woman.

"Wow, thanks.” I told her instead. “That's weird I was just thinking the same thing. I mean about you... oops…"

She blushed.

She's cute. I like her. What am I saying? She’s a complete stranger... this is a girl. Why's she staring like that?

She moved closer and I’ve got this weird feeling wishing that she would not think I’m a dyke.

Am I not?

Steve walked passed me. Some hussy is holding on to him like a little schoolgirl being with her first crush.

Sickening… Maybe I should get close to this girl, maybe that would make Steve notice me... or throw me out, either would suffice.

Amber's still staring, deep into my eyes; it feels like she's pulling on my internal organs trying to tug my heart out through my eye socket. I look down; her pert breasts lay dormant under her lacy top, pert, poised for excitement.

My hand suddenly reached out and touched her breast; her nipples immediately stand to attention as if they'd been waiting for that touch their whole lives. She placed her hand on mine...

No don't pull it away… Steve might be looking...

She slid her hand up my arm and over my shoulder onto my neck, a sharp electric charge ran down my spine. I looked back into her staring eyes and felt that I suddenly don't want Steve to see me.

I felt vulnerable. I grabbed her hand and staggered out of the room dragging her after me. We paused in the hallway for a few minutes to check if Steve will follow us and tell me he loves me.

No one came.

I looked at her again. This time she's leaning on me, her breasts pushed hard up against my own.

Fuck it!

I thought.

I pulled her upstairs to my room. I flicked the switch and one of the bulbs bursts into life. The shadows almost look romantic. I leaned back on the closed door and pulled her on to me. Our lips met. It felt like velvety water pouring over my entire body.

Ice cold.

It was throwing those electric charges all over me.

"I'm sorry... If you didn't want..."

She stopped me mid sentence by literally ripping off her top.

Oh my god… this woman is sexy!

She pulled me around and pushed me on to the bed, her playful breasts reveling in their freedom. She unzipped her skirt and it fell on to the floor.

Oh heavens she's wearing those French undies.

Those nice lacy ones that showed off your ass. It was the same kind that I bought to impress Steve…the kind I was wearing on our anniversary. On that night when he did not come home to me.

I felt anger rushing through my veins.

I sat up, grabbed Amber around the waist and threw her on her back. She looked excited.

I took off all my clothes though I don't look half as amazing as she does. It did not matter though, her expression filled me with confidence.

I pulled those sexy knickers down. She's waxed.

I pushed my hands between her legs, her butterscotch thighs are soft and toned. I pushed her legs apart and kissed her thighs as if they were made of gold. I kissed the lips of her vagina; it was warm.

I’m started to feel nervous then. I've never been this close to anyone before. I'm not even that well accustomed with mine. But then, my instincts controlled me, and I’m losing to it.

I parted her lips with my fingers and gently slipped my tongue deep into her velvety trove. Her supple body writhed with the caress of my tongue. I felt her silky fingers running through my hair and stroking my neck.

The touch of her hand made my tongue go deeper, all I wanted was to please her. All I could think of was her. She filled my mind, my soul, my entire being with the warm thought of her toned, beautiful, body.

I kept going, pausing only to get my breath and the occasional interlude of kissing when my fingers took the place of my tongue, and then half an hour...

Half an hour...

God knows how long it had been. I delved my tongue deeper. Explored as deep as I could…and to my surprise, a gush of warm, sweet, tangy liquid flowed into my mouth.

Amber gripped the duvet and moaned deliciously before pulling my head back up to hers. She kissed me ruthlessly, her tongue seemed equally surprised at the taste of her.

She ran her fingers gently down my vagina, I felt so excited. And a feeling unknown to me coursed through my body, filling me in yet remained a mystery. I wriggled and writhed at her gentle ministrations. My moans grew louder and wilder and I knew that everyone could hear me.

I realized that I wanted them to. Suddenly, without warning, I let out a scream.

"I'm leaving you Steve! Amber's so much better in bed!" I screamed, lust and satisfaction coursing through my body. “I’m leaving you Steve!”

There, the release felt so wonderful.

Amber stopped for a while, surprised at my outburst. A ghost of smile tugged at her delicious lips. Then without so much care in the world, she began to taunt me again.

My body shook with a heavenly feeling of being wanted. It turned me on so much I’m bursting from it.

For a split second, I thought of the people below discussing my outburst. But Amber did not give me much time to dwell on it.

Suddenly, she invaded my senses again, drugging me and making me crazy.

And then suddenly, as if someone switched on a light inside my head, a realization struck, pin pointing the unanswered question in my head.

All I can see now is Amber. I saw us together, touching, kissing and doing everything together. She’s the only one filling my thoughts and my senses.

This is what I was missing all along. This is why I never found the one man for me. This is it because until now, I did not realize that I was looking for a girl…my girl.

Amber and I carried on through most of the night pleasing, discovering and exploring each other. After the bout of lust, cuddling and being together was enough. We lie awake all night, talking about our lives, ourselves, how we got there, where we were going. We talked of so many things never feeling boredom and ennui.

And when she finally fell asleep in my arms, I knew that this is not just a bit of fun, revenge, or confusion. After thirty years of searching, I finally found love.