Introduction
My name is Faye Moore; I am twenty eight and was married with two kids. I was married for eight years to Dave, my ex-husband. The divorce went through at the end of 2022. I am attractive not stunning with a 34-26-36 with blond hair (usually in a ponytail) and blue eyes. I try to go to the gym at least three to four times a week to stay in shape. It is my one refuge from work or home these past few years. I started going after my friend from work Sally encouraged me to join her when I complained about having gained weight after the birth of the kids. Sally is just a few years younger than me and goes five days a week and is serious about her fitness. This is my story of the last three years from the end of my marriage to the beginning of a new chapter of my life.
2023
As I was going through my divorce, Sally had encouraged me to experiment, to act on my lesbian fantasies. I had taken to watching lesbian porn when I masturbated as I found it a real turn on. When I did try with a waitress called Camilla, I ended up leaving early before it went anywhere. It was as if I was having a minor panic attack.
When I spoke to my therapist a few days later, she told me "Faye, you are trying to rush the grieving process. You were married for eight years and with your ex-husband since you were a teenager. It's like having a death in the family and needs to be treated as such. Time is a great healer, time to adjust to being a single parent, your new status as a single woman and how other people will see and treat you from now on. Above all else is the emotional roller coaster you will be on for at least six to eight months. The emotional intensity will reach a peak but it could take up to two years, so you must allow yourself some leeway. It is a difficult process and you must recognize that you will have some highs and lows early on. Try to stay positive, talk to close friends when you need too, try to stay healthy and explore other interests."
"It's just that I wanted to kiss her but then panic and didn't know what was happening to me; it was so stupid," I said.
She patted my hand "Your reaction when you kissed that woman may have been exactly the same if you had kissed a man, don't beat yourself up about it. You will get through this, it just takes time."
So that's what I did over the next six months and into the New Year. I still went to the gym and met with Sally for a drink every so often. My new life took a bit of getting used to; it was easy for me to juggle work and life with the kids as I had been the main caregiver all along. No it was that I found myself with more free time. Eventually in March 2023, I signed up for a dating app as I felt I needed to get out more. I found dating had changed quite a bit since I was a teenager. All I had to do was swipe left and right to check out the guys who had posted ads. Most of them were for casual sex but I was looking for the full dating experience. I did go on a few dates but I didn't feel anything for either guy, I knew it wasn't their fault, they were both nice guys. When I mentioned it to Sally on a coffee break after my second date was a flop, she took my phone off me and started to fiddle with it.
"What are you up too?" I asked as she continued to type then took a picture of me.
"Done", was all she said "you are all set up now."
"Set up for what," I asked taking my phone back.
"I have edited your profile and changed the search parameters," Sally said.
I looked at my now changed profile; it said I was bi and looking to meet a guy or a girl for a date that I was looking for new experiences.
"What the hell Sal," I said slightly annoyed.
"Faye, you have tried dating and felt nothing at least this way you might get to meet someone, who wants to go out on a date and have sex. You have been living like a nun whose been protecting her virtue. You need sex, with a guy or a girl then you can think about dating. Live a little, sow you're oats then you will know for sure what you really want. As it's a sex date you are under no pressure, you don't need to impress just hook up, sleep with him or her and even if you aren't bisexual, who cares you might have some fun and enjoy it. Try it please, what's the worst thing that could happen," she asked.
"Go on a sex date with a serial killer."
"Look I use this app all the time for hook ups, I know it's a bit different but you will be the one choosing who to go with. You don't have to worry about any social awkwardness or meeting the person in the flesh until you have decided to actually go through with it. Either you can pick someone you think is attractive or someone picks you. Message each other, exchange numbers and then take it from there. Just give it a chance, "Sally said.
"OK," I said.
"Also remember dating women is different to dating guys," she said.
"What do mean?" I asked.
"Well women will make more of an effort, will put more into it but look for more out of it. I date girls that look nice, who make an effort and in turn they expect me to put myself out. A Guy's idea of a date is to answer your questions with generic answers, not to make a mistake and when it comes to sex is to turn up with a hard on and expect to be looked after. A woman will take the time to pick a place, care about how she looks and will have a two way conversation with you and in regards to sex; it's about touching, feeling and stimulation. What you put in is what you will get out of it. Now that's not to say there aren't women who just want a hook up for some casual sex but at least they advertise it and make it known," she said.
"OK, something to think about," I replied.
"Look, forget about it and wait till you get home then look through some of the women who have profiles up and see who you like, then message them. You might also have some replies to your profile by the time you get home. Who knows you might be eating pussy or sucking a cock sooner than you think," Sally said.
"Oh, thanks' for that image," I said.
Later that evening after the kids had gone to bed, I opened the app to take a look. I had received a quite a few likes and a few matches for my profile. Sally had set it up that I was interested in meeting men/women between 18 to 50 years of age. The three matches were from two slightly older professional men and a housewife (divorced) who were interested in meeting for sex. The two guys were a bit out of the way while the divorced housewife was living near the suburbs. I decide to make contact with her as she was closest and was in a similar predicament to me. She was forty nine, blond, quite attractive, had been divorced three years and was bi-curious. Her name was Rachel. She had two older kids, who were both in college. We messaged back and forth over the next few days and finally arranged to meet at Stacy's on Roselle as it was LGBT friendly on Friday night at 8pm.
If all went well, we could book in some place or come back to my house as it was empty. On the night in question, the kids were at their dad's for the weekend so it was convenient. The plan was simple, meet for a drink, maybe dinner and see where it goes. I got a taxi there and showed up about ten minute's early, got myself a seat and a drink at the bar and waited. I'm not a big drinker but I did drink the first one kind of fast as I was nervous. I ordered another drink, and waited, listening to the music playing in the background, taking my time with this drink, looking around to see if I could see her anywhere. As the allotted time passed, I checked my phone and dating app to see if there were any messages from her, but there was none. So I sat and waited, until 8.15 and realized that she was a "no show". I can't believe a woman could be so ignorant not to message me or call, I guess it happens.
I'm sitting at the bar, just about to text Sally to let her know what happened when I get a, "hey," I look to my right, and I see this black woman, looks to be in her forties, quite voluptuous with a brown bob hair style. "Is this seat taken?" she says pointing to the seat next to me.
"No," I said politely.
"Good I need to take a load off, it's been a busy day," she says ordering a drink. "Would you like another?" she asks pointing to my glass.
"No, thank you, I'm just sipping," I said. "I was supposed to meet someone but I think there a no show. I'll give them a few more minutes before I call it a night."
"Sorry to hear that," she said taking a drink of her rum and coke. "I haven't seen you in here before," she said as matter of fact.
"Your right, it's my first time here. The woman I was supposed to meet suggested it. It seems like an OK place to hang out. Are you a regular here?" I asked.
"Kind of, I'm usually here most weekends, not so much during the week as I usually traveling between one court house and another and most evenings I just want to put my feet up. It's convenient as I live only two blocks from here."
"Do you mind if I asked what it is you do?"
"I am one of the public defenders for Marcela County, which means I have to drive between all the different courthouses and let me tell you, it isn't any fun," she said laughing. "By the way I am Jennifer," she said.
