"I don't think I can do this!"
"You're doing fine, just push a little harder." The doctor said trying to calm Jess.
"C'mon Jess, you can do this. Just push, okay?"
She nodded quickly and started pushing harder as she screamed in pain.
"Oooh my god! Is that the head?" Adrian dropped to the floor and passed out.
I so didn't take him for the passing out type. I felt like I was in some sort of dramatic Lifetime flick. Here I was in the hospital with my husband spread across the floor, passed out. And the woman I'm in love with was having my husband and I baby. How did things get so complicated?
"Say hi to your baby boy!" The doctor was smiling as he presented us with the crying new born. I started crying along with the baby, my baby boy.
"Go on, hold him. You've waited nine months for this little guy."
I kissed Jess on the forehead and finally held my son for the first time. I can't explain the feeling. Holding your child for the first time is the best feeling ever. I was overwhelmed with emotions. One minute I was laughing and the next I was crying. Just staring at the tiny human being in my arms was amazingly unreal. I love him so much.
"I think it's your turn to hold him."
"Maybe you should wake Adrian first. I think he should hold him before I do."
"Are you kidding me? You've carried him for nine months, fair is fair." I handed her the baby.
"God he's so cute!"
"Look at his eyes."
"He has my eyes." Jess cried.
"He's your son too Jess."
"No, he's not. He's yours and Adrians."
"You will always be his birth mother but if you won't take that then I want you to be his godmother if that's alright with you. Please?"
"Sure, why not." Jess finally smiled and made my heart melt.
"What did I miss?" Adrian asked, getting off the floor as if he didn't just faint five minutes ago. It was funny seeing him get off the floor after the fall he took.
"You missed our son being born."
"Trust me, I saw enough."
"Here, you should hold him now." Said Jess.
Adrian grabbed our son and held him for the first time. He didn't stop smiling for one second. Jess and I sat there watching him talk to the little guy. I then glanced at Jess, she looked so happy but sad all at the same time. I wish I knew what she was thinking. Maybe she felt misplaced in everything that was going on.
I leant in and whispered in her ear, "I love you so much."
She exhaled as if she was holding her breath the entire time.
"Hey, what are you guys whispering about?"
"We're just discussing optional names for our son."
"Right! What are we naming him?"
I looked at Jess. "I think we should name him after your dad. You said you always wanted your first child to be named after him."
"But he's your...."
Adrian cut her off before she finished her sentence. "He's your son too. I mean look at him, he has your eyes. Amina is right, we should name him after your dad."
I looked at Adrian in shock. I didn't expect him to understand right away why I wanted to name our son after Jess's dad. I guess he felt it was only right as well.
Jess nodded in agreement. A few tears ran down her cheek. She was so emotional that day, we all were.
"Then it's settled, his name is Anthony. It even starts with an "A" just like ours babe." Adrian pointed out. He was beyond excited and truthfully, I don't know if I've ever seen him that happy.
Eventually, we all grew tired. The nurses took Anthony for tests and monitoring. And we decided to leave and let Jess get her rest. For some reason, I felt like I was abandoning them both. I didn't want to leave but Adrian and Jess talked me into going home and getting some rest of my own.
The ride home was full of chatter. Once we got home, we were too excited to go right to sleep. We stayed up and talked about our son. I remember thinking we would never have the opportunity and now we have a son, crazy right?
That night I dreamt of Jessica all night. We were making love and she ran her tongue all over my neck as she brought me to orgasm after orgasm. I wished the dream was true but unfortunately ever since that day in the kitchen, we distanced ourselves for real this time. It really was the right thing to do but I couldn't stop dreaming of her every single night since then. I barely saw or talked to her unless we were all at a doctor's appointment together. It was hard but I realized I wasn't ready to leave my soon to be family. I didn't want to start a full-on affair and hurt her more than I already have. I think I'm cursed with loving her but I'm confused. How did I go all my life never being attracted to women and then she comes along and makes me fall in love with her. And why does loving her hurt so damn much?
"Wake up babe."
"Wh...what's wrong?"
"Nothing, everything is fine. But my car won't start so I need to take your car to work."
"But I want to go to the hospital today."
"I know, I can drop you off so get up and get ready. I have to be at work in a hour."
I quickly arose from bed and walked in the bathroom. I got undressed, tied my hair up, and hopped in the shower. Fifteen minutes later I got out feeling somewhat refreshed. I threw on a fitted green shirt and dark blue jeans.
"You ready?"
"Yeah." I was ready to leave but I couldn't help but noticed how large my boobs looked all of a sudden. They kind of took me by surprise.
"Okay let's hit the road."
Twenty minutes later we were at the hospital. "Get out." Adrian joked.
"A bit harsh, don't you think?"
"Just kidding. Love you, give me kiss." I kissed him and got out the car.
I was excited to be at the hospital. I walked happily all the way to the room and when I made my way inside, it was empty. At least that's how it appeared to be. I called out and heard Jess say that she was washing up.
"You need help?" I asked, trying my best not to sound like a perv.
"Umm no I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine. Look Jess, if you need help, I will help you. I won't do anything idiotic, I promise."
"Okay but don't laugh."
"Why would I laugh?" I asked walking into the bathroom. She was standing there naked. She didn't even look like she just gave birth less than 24 hours ago. Her body looked amazing.
"Because...I'm legitimately scared to wash between my legs."
I laughed a bit. "Do you want me to?"
She nodded yes. So I grabbed the rag out of her hand. "Wait...just...please be gentle, okay?"
"Of course."
I began washing her softly, making sure I was careful not to hurt her in any way. I tried not to look at her body in a sexual way but it was impossible. I couldn't get over the fact that she looked as if she didn't just have a baby. I looked up at her face and her eyes were closed while her hand held on to my shoulder.
