Now I know what you all are thinking. Did I make a move on Jessica?
Well, no I didn't but that doesn't mean it was easy resisting temptation. I mean, every feeling in my body intensified with the fact that her body was pressed against mine. And that smell of vanilla...it was intoxicating. I wanted to lick every inch of her body just to see if she tasted the same as her scent.
Eventually, my conscious kicked in and reminded me that I was married. I jumped out of the bed and went to the bathroom before I did something stupid.
"I have to use the bathroom." I said, quickly leaving the room.
I was now in the bathroom mirror telling myself over and over that I'm married and she's the surrogate. I was totally confused. I mean, was this one of god's sick and twisted tests? Have I already failed?
I then heard a knock on the door. "Are you okay in there?"
"Yeah, I'm just finishing up."
To my surprise, Jess open the door and walked in. She didn't say anything. She set on the counter and looked at me.
"Amina, you don't have to pretend that me being a lesbian and attracted to you isn't a problem. I can see that you're freaked out and I won't be offended if you want to sleep in one of the guest rooms."
I walked over to her and lean't in rather closely and began to speak.
"Jess, how could you possibly think that? Like I said before, I have no problem with you being a lesbian or even you being attracted to me. And yes, I'm freaked out but the problem is that I'm attracted to you. Every second I'm with you, I fall deeper in love with you. I can't even be near you without wanting to rip your fucking clothes off. So trust me, you are not the problem. I am."
I then kissed her. And it wasn't just a peck on the lips. It was like my first time kissing someone I really loved. It was like the first time for everything.
The feel of her smooth lips gliding between mine was confirmation that I was really in love with this woman.
Our kiss deepened and she slipped her tongue in my mouth. I sucked it further into my mouth then gently bit on the bottom of her lip.
She moaned and gently pushed me away, realizing what we both were doing.
"We can't do this." She said, breathlessly.
"I know, I know. I shouldn't have kissed you. I wasn't thinking straight. I'm sorry." I said panicking.
"Don't be sorry. I wanted to kiss you. I'm in love with you Amina but we can't do this. It isn't fair to anyone of us."
"I know."
That was all a few weeks ago. Jess and I agreed to spend less time together and only call when it's concerning the pregnancy; that didn't last. We thought it was the best idea but that didn't put an end to the way I feel about her.
We talked over the phone every other day. She often tell me about her morning sickness and her new daily routine since she took a leave of absence at work.
I tell her about new clients I took on and how "interesting" they were. I'm a massage therapist. I pretty much just go to my client's house and work from there. It's fun for me. I get to do something I love and make my own hours.
Jess and I talk about everything. We're really trying to work on a friendship.
She even asks about about Adrian and how things are going between us.
It's going good but of course he works a lot. He owns a construction company and he's working on expanding so it takes up a lot of his time.
We've been together since we were seventeen. Although, we've known each other since elementary. Back then, he was a pain in my ass but something changed between us when we hit puberty. He was the first guy I allowed to touch me. I had never been so comfortable with a man. He was my first everything.
I feel horrible because the way I felt about him is nothing compared to the way I feel about Jess. I've considered that maybe I get lonely when Adrian isn't around and Jessica is the easiest target to emotionally attach to. But even when I'm with Adrian, I still think of her.
I can't forget the way her lips felt against mine and how her body felt pressed tightly against me. It's impossible to forget.
"Hey babe. I got some good news and bad news." Said Adrian.
"Okay, tell me the good news first."
"I found another space I can use to help expand the company."
"Are you serious? That's great. You've been talking about this forever." I said excitingly.
"Yeah I know but the bad new is that I'll be gone for the weekend to New York."
"I'm proud of you babe but you're barely home as is and you're talking about leaving for a weekend out of state. That's great." I said sarcastically.
"I know but I promise when I get back I'll spend more time with you."
"Promise?"
"Pinky swear." He said.
I smiled. We've always pinky sweared since we were kids.
"Okay but what am I suppose to do alone for a whole weekend?"
"Spend time with Jessica. Make sure she's taking care of our baby." He said with his stern voice.
"Yes sir." I chuckled.
"So I leave in the morning. What do you want to do tonight?"
"Honestly, I just want to cuddle and watch some TV with you. Is that okay with you?"
"Of course."
We fell asleep cuddling.
The next morning, I woke up and Adrian was getting ready for his flight.
"Good morning babe. How did you sleep?"
"I slept good. You want me to take you to the airport?"
"No, I want you to relax babe."
"I know but I just...."
"You just what?"
"I kind of don't want you to leave, that's all."
"I'm going to miss you too. It's only a weekend. I'll be back Monday morning."
"I know."
"I have to get going so come over here and give your husband a kiss."
I smiled as I made my way over to him. He looked good in his suit.
We kissed while he grabbed my ass. "I'll be thinking about you." He said with a naughty smirk.
I laughed and called him a perv.
"I love you."
"I love you too, bye."
"Bye babe."
When Adrian left, I got in the shower. I was sad that he was gone. I think a part of me was sad because he wasn't here to motivate me. He didn't know it but him coming home every night was motivation to stay away from Jessica.
Now that he's gone, I'm struggling with the fact that I want to go and be with her. In reality, we can only ever be friends.
I wasn't sure if I should call her to see if she was up to hanging out this weekend. I thought it would be too tempting but I called her after I got out of the shower.
"Hey Jess. Umm...do you want to hang out this weekend? Adrian is out of town for business and I thought it would be nice if we just spent time together."
"Yeah, that's cool. My aunt is coming over today. I want you to meet her if that's okay with you?"
"Are you kidding? I would love to meet your aunt. I'll be over there later. I only have one client today."
"Okay, I'll see you later."
"Bye."
I got off the phone and got ready for work. Today, work was a little difficult. My client was an ass. He was the cocky, arrogant type. During the entire massage, he constantly moved around as he argued on the phone with someone. I was never so happy to leave a client's house.
After that I went straight to Jess's house. When I got there, her aunt was already there.
"Amina this is my aunt, Lorie. Aunt Lorie this is Amina."
"Hi, nice to meet you young lady." Said the older looking version of Jessica.
"Nice to meet you as well."
"I made dinner." Jess interrupted by guiding us to the kitchen.
"It smells great Jess."
"Have you had my niece's cooking Amina? She makes the best chicken alfredo."
"No, at least not yet." I said looking at Jess.
She smiled. "Well lucky for you two, that's exactly what I cooked. I know you love it aunt."
