"Look, I know things didn't go so well badly, but I've learned a few things and I think I can make it up to you."
He was supposedly being earnest with me, or at least putting in some effort to trick me again.
"Norman, I know how you feel, believe me I really do, but I just don't feel that way with you, it's just-"
"Jeez, don't be so quick to give up on us," Norman interrupted, "I got some advice from the boys, they know how to make a girl happy."
I knew 'the boys' well. A bunch of twenty-something year old manchildren who's idea of a good time was a blowjob at a movie.
"I don't want to break your heart Norman, but we really, truly aren't compatible together."
"I can make you happy! We have to be together, you're the one!"
"I'm really not trying to upset you, you need to move on."
"All right," Norman said with a glint in his eye, "Maybe you can give me one good reason we shouldn't go out together tonight."
"I'm busy tonight."
"You'll have to have a better excuse that that."
"I really am, I've met a new man," I lied, "and he knows how to treat a lady."
"Nice try babe, but no man could man my charms. Ditch the zero and get with a winner."
Shit. If another man wasn't enough to make him back down, then what was? My mind was blank, I knew that if I couldn't come up with something quick I'd be in for a night for fast food and clumsy 'seduction'.
Suddenly behind me a voice called out, "Hey, big shot! Get your own!"
I spun around to catch a glimpse of my savior, hoping against hope things weren't about to get even worse.
"Jessica," Norman replied with mock friendliness, "What are you talking about now?"
"Cram it four-eyes," Jessica answered, "Samantha and I are going out tonight. Together."
"What would Samantha want with a carpet muncher? We both know she's all for the cock."
Jessica looked at me and motioned me to play along.
"Well," I said in desperation, "I'm... well... what I mean to say is I'm experimenting."
"That's right, you can never be too conservative when it comes to love," Jessica continued.
"Okay then," Norman said in shock.
"I'm not a lesbian or anything, I just want to give it a test drive and see if I want to buy it."
Norman remained stunned for a few seconds more, then blurted out, "I don't believe it. A dyke is a dyke, you're born wrong and you stay that way. No woman could experience me and turn."
I was sweating bullets but Jessica just grinned and said, "Well, how about you accompany us tonight, at least until you get some solid evidence."
Frightened, I looked at her and subtly shook my head.
She continued, "We don't normally allow a man into the sort of places I hang out, but maybe if we say you're gay we can force our way through."
"For real?" He asked, clearly not convinced.
"But just for a little while," I answered, "I, um, I don't want you to screw things up between us. Not that I've made up my mind yet."
"Well all right ladies, where to?"
"I know a place," said Jessica, "It's a little club I visit sometimes, it doesn't have an office name, we 'carpet-munchers' just call it the Cunnilingus Club."
I wasn't sure if things were getting better or worse.
The three of us took a taxi deep into the city, past the glamorous and well known clubs and into a dark and dirty neighborhood. We stopped at an apparently abandoned warehouse, then got out and walked around to the back of the building.
Jessica rapped her knuckles on a large iron door and a second later it opened a crack and an attractive female face peeked out.
"Password?" Inquired the unknown woman.
"The password is... delight," answered Jessica.
"Who's the dick?"
"He's with me, don't worry, he's just some bottom I know."
The door opened and the woman inside motioned for us to enter, "No one who knows the password to this club would associate with a straight man," she said.
"I'm not a regular," I burst out.
"No problem," she replied slyly, we get a lot of fresh meat come in with the regulars. Emphasis on come."
As we walked past the woman took a good look at me, and as we passed into the next room she winked at Jessica.
As we entered the main room I was temporarily blinded by the change in lighting, but as my eyes adjusted I felt a different kind of shock.
From some angles the place might have passed for a regular club, there were a pair of bars, and a dance floor in the back, but the really interesting part was what was going on up on a stage in the center. Or going down I should say.
An older woman was sitting on a hard wooden chair with her hands apparently bound behind her. Her dress was hiked up around her waist, the top half pulled down to reveal her bra and there were a pair of conservative panties on her floor below her. Her blond hair was frazzled, her body was coated in a layer a sweat and her thighs were especially shining with reflected light. In front of her stood a tall brunette woman wearing a slutty schoolgirl costume, her breasts were practically hanging out and her face was soaking wet.
The woman in the costume looked around the room and made eye contact with several others, then she saw me. I examined her face, taking note of her smeared lipstick. She simply ran her tongue along her lips then continued to scan the room. The crowd was going wild.
The three of us wandered over to the closest bar and ordered a variety of exotic drinks.
"So Norman," Said Jessica, "Is this lesbian enough for you?"
Norman had a huge grin on his face and was trying in vain to keep his erection out of sight.
"It certainly is, but it doesn't prove a thing. You two haven't even held hands, the location is irrelevant."
I reacted instantly by leaning across and giving Jessica a peck on the cheek.
"See that, I'm experimenting."
"Not your greatest performance Samantha, I don't expect a porno, but still..."
Jessica grabbed the back of my head and forced our faces together. Her tongue forced its way into my mouth and ran wild over me. It felt like a unique experience, but I just closed kept my eyes and mind shut.
After a minute of furious one-way kissing I pulled back and took a few deep breaths, Jessica just sat back and grinned.
"Well, is that enough proof?" I said desperately.
"Sorry Samantha, I saw everything, and you were definitely not into that. Maybe this is a real date, but if so it's a complete failure. How about we go somewhere real, or at least find a seat and enjoy the next show together?"
I was completely drained once more, not a single excuse went through my head. I desperately turned to Jessica and gave her a pleading look.
Jessica turned to the bartender and whispered something, the bartender walked talked into her headset, then Jessica turned back to us and her grin grew even wider, if that were even possible.
Suddenly the lights dimmed and a voice called out over the loudspeaker.
"Ladies and ladies, the management thinks that Jill has had enough for the time being, our next act will be performed by a regular we're sure you have heard of, Jessica Balee!"
A spotlight lit us up and there was monstrous applause. My face went dead white and I felt that I was about to wet myself.
"Bullshit," Norman said, "She won't go through with this."