Lauren had only been seeing Erin for a month, but they were good together. They were close. They worked. It felt to Lauren like something that mattered, not merely a fling that would end in time.
It had only been a month, and a month was far too soon, but Lauren was staring to think about how to tell Erin she really liked her, that maybe soon she'd love her.
She was thinking about it, and still unable to decide if she should, when Erin said it first.
"I like you," Erin said.
They were at Erin's and were getting ready for bed. It was the ninth night they'd spent together in the month. Lauren had been counting.
Lauren was wearing a towel, and had just got out the shower. She was hanging up her clothes to wear tomorrow, so they wouldn't get creases overnight. Erin was sitting in the middle of the bed, watching Lauren. She seemed to like watching Lauren be all tidy.
Lauren was so glad one of them had finally said it, that she didn't know what to do next. "Okay," she said. "Cool." And hung up her suit pants carefully.
"Because of that," Erin said.
"What?"
"You don't know what to do. I really fucking like you because you don't know what to do now. Because I said that."
"Maybe." Lauren said. "Maybe I don't need to do anything."
"Yep," Erin said. "Okay."
"Don't," Lauren said. "Please."
"I really fucking like you," Erin said. "And I want to do something for you. Something I like to do for people."
Lauren looked at her.
"I don't want to tell you," Erin said. "I think I'd rather just do it."
Lauren wasn't sure what to make of that.
"You look worried," Erin said. "Shit. Are you really creeped out?"
"Not really. Not yet. What is it?"
"Do you want to? Do something new with me."
"Tell me what."
"No, tell me if you will first. If you'll try."
Lauren hesitated.
"Do you trust me?" Erin said.
"Yeah, I guess."
"So let me."
Lauren thought. "Yeah, okay."
"Take the towel off," Erin said. "Come here."
Lauren was suddenly a little nervous. This was new, they were still fairly new, and she didn't know Erin as well as she might. She wasn't sure what Erin was about to do.
Lauren took off the towel, went over to the bed, and sat down. Erin kissed her, and pulled her slowly backwards.
Lauren let her.
"Turn over," Erin said.
After a moment, very uncertain, Lauren did.
Erin started kissing her. Kissing her, and gently stroking Lauren's back. Then her arms, and legs, and ass. Kissing Lauren gently, around her neck, behind her ears, where it always made her wet and shivery.
"I want you so much I might die," Erin whispered. She said things like that a lot, and every time Lauren heard it, she fell in love a little more. And then tried to pretend she wasn't.
"Okay," Lauren said, like it was nothing.
"I really, really fucking want you," Erin whispered, and then she disappeared.
Lauren wasn't sure where she'd got to. Not until she felt Erin's hands on her ass, spreading her.
Quite cold-bloodedly, quite daintily, Erin licked Lauren's asshole.
"Hey," Lauren said. "Fuck, don't do that. I'm not..."
"You just had a shower."
"I know, but ..."
Erin slid up, and kissed Lauren's open mouth. There was a taste on her tongue, repellent but ever so slightly erotic too.
"Hey," Lauren said, startled, then kissed Erin back.
Erin laughed and returned to Lauren ass. Licked and lapped and pushed her tongue inside. She sucked on Lauren's perineum.
Lauren wanted to tell her to stop, that this was too much. She also wanted to beg her not to stop, ever.
Lauren had tried this before, two or three times, but never like this. Always drunk, and a bit furtive, and always with men. Usually only quickly, a slip during oral, or before someone tried to fuck her up there.
Never like this. Never so openly and filthily. Erin pushed a finger into Lauren's ass, pushed another into her pussy, and kneaded Lauren's perineum from the inside. She scratched her nails over Lauren's legs and lower back, and lapped at her ass all thick and wet and oily.
Lauren felt helpless and shattered and utterly loved.
"Good?" Erin whispered, and Lauren tried to speak, but found she couldn't make words to tell Erin how good it was.
It was good. It was powerful and consuming and deeply wrong. It was the opposite to an orgasm. An anti-orgasm, perpetual and dark and tantric. Erin went on and on, licking and sucking, and left Lauren almost too devastated to move. Lauren lay there, accepting Erin's tongue on the most intimate part of her. The most private part of her body.
Sex had never been like this for her before, and she was fairly sure Erin knew that.
"This thing you have about men," Erin whispered.
"What men?"
"You think you want men around."
"What?" Lauren said. "There's no men. There's you.'
"There might be men. One day. So this thing about men. This idea you like them."
"Oh," Lauren said. Erin was teasing. Erin teased her a lot about this.
"I thought I'd fix that," Erin said. "I thought I'd show you there's nothing a man can do I can't do better."
"Okay," Lauren said.
Erin slid a pillow under Lauren's hips, lifting her up. Somehow she'd got a strap-on out, put it on while she rimmed Lauren, without Lauren noticing.
Erin started fucking Lauren with it from behind, fucking her in the ass, and Lauren, astonished, pushed back at her. The dildo was deep inside her, further than any real penis had ever been, and there wasn't any stinging or pain, just a heavy fullness, a deeply shameful rightness about its fit. Erin was fucking her like a man, on purpose Lauren thought, thrusting in, her hands on Lauren's hips, on Lauren's hair. Erin had never been like this before, was usually a slow, gentle lover, but now something had taken hold of her. She was rough, enough she pushed Lauren up the bed, so Lauren was left holding onto the bed-head, half-draped against it, being fucked doggy. Erin's hand in her hair, twisting and tugging, Erin's hand on her breast squeezing, Erin's mouth on her ear and neck, whispering, "Don't come. Not yet. Wait a little more."
"I'm not," Lauren said. "I'm not."
She lay there, weak, unthinking, and let Erin have her. Erin's completely, she thought, like Erin wanted her to be.
Lauren wanted it to last forever. She was helpless. Erin's toy to be had.
Then Erin moved, turned Lauren over, and the dildo was gone, and Erin was between Lauren's legs, her breath soft on Lauren's pussy, looking up, spreading Lauren's lips, and whispering, "Now?"
"Please," Lauren said.
"Now?" Erin said. "Beg."
Lauren already was. Moving her hips and trying to grab Erin's hair and saying, "Please do it."
Erin kept her mouth away for a moment longer, while Lauren grabbed at her, then let Lauren pull her down, and licked slowly, licked completely inside Lauren. Licked, and sucked, and after a moment Lauren was there. Shatteringly.
Lauren came and the world stopped and she thought her heart might as well. It was perfect. It so intense it hurt, like her soul had spasmed as well as her body.
She lay there and looked at Erin and felt like her life would never the same.
"Do me," Erin said.
"Not yet," Lauren said. "I can't. Give me a moment." She couldn't think, wasn't sure she could move.
"Just your hands," Erin said. "Make me come. Please."
"No," Lauren said. "I want to fuck you too."
Erin slowly grinned.
After a few moments, Lauren sat up. Erin showed her how to put the dildo on, and she worked out how to fuck. This was different to what she'd done before. She was fascinated by the thick black plastic between their bodies, she stroked it, and put it inside Erin, and watched Erin writhing and penetrated and hers. She fucked Erin, in her pussy, pulling Erin's hair, sucking her nipples, fucking her to an orgasm of her own.
When they were done, Erin lay against Lauren and sighed. Erin's skin was damp, her body warm.
Erin was hugging her loosely, was quiet. Lauren lay there exhausted, and wondered about just turning off the light and going to sleep without saying anything more.
She wasn't sure if Erin would mind. She wasn't sure which words would mean anything, after that.
"Still want me?" Erin whispered after a while.
"What?" Lauren said.
"After that, do you still want me?"
"Yes," Lauren said. "Of course."
"Not scared by that? Not scared off?"
Lauren didn't answer. An hour ago she'd wanted to tell Erin she liked her, and might love her one day. Now it was more than that. More, and it was a little terrifying too. Lauren didn't want to say she hadn't liked what Erin had done. She didn't want to lie about something like this, and have that lie there forever, between them. She also didn't want to say she'd liked it and have Erin expect it every week.
"I don't think so," she said, "Not scared off."
That seemed to be enough. Erin rolled over and lay on her side, apparently satisfied.
Lauren wondered if she should get up and go to the bathroom. She'd needed to after anal, the few other times she'd tried. Not now, though. Normally, she supposed, by the time you knew a guy well enough to let him do that to you, it was because he'd been nagging for weeks, and usually that nagging started right after the nagging about not wearing a condom. So when he did your ass, he came up there, and that was probably why she needed the bathroom. Having things stuck up there, just by itself, wasn't the same.
She lay there and decided she was fine. She stung, and felt a bit stretched, but otherwise she was fine.
She felt much closer to Erin, in a strange way she couldn't place.
