Emotionless

Running her fingers through her hair, Lauren sat on the couch to wait for Harper. She could hear Harper rustling around her room. Lauren reached for her phone, remembering that she left it at her place. She sighed and walked towards Harper's room. As she walked in, Lauren saw a bright room filled with shoes and clothes everywhere. It was an organized mess and Harper stood in the center putting clothes into a bag that rested on the bed. Harper hadn't noticed Lauren yet, Lauren took a second to look around. It definitely seemed like a room that would belong to Harper. Classy, yet disorganized. Lauren stood in the doorway and knocked. Harper jumped.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Lauren gave a crooked grin.

"I thought you were in the living room." Harper went back to putting her clothes in the bag.

"I figured I'd see if I could help." Lauren walked to the bed.

"Actually I'm all finished now. Thank you though. We can head out." Harper grabbed her bag and turned. Accidently bumping into Lauren who stood in front of her now.

Lauren tried not wince in pain as Harper bumped into her stomach. They held each other's gaze for a second. Then Harper leaned in and raised herself up on her toes, kissing Lauren. Lauren was afraid this would happen. She took a step back.

"I'm sorry. It's not that I don't want too. I just don't know if it is the right thing to do." Lauren took Harper's hand.

Harper cleared her voice "You're right. I shouldn't have. Let's go."

Lauren knew that things would be awkward now. She didn't feel right sleeping with Harper. She knew if that happened, Harper would expect more, and Lauren couldn't give her more. Harper and Lauren left the apartment and headed back to Lauren's. On the way there, Lauren decided she would cook tonight. She wanted to show Harper how much she appreciated everything she's done so far.

When they got back to the apartment Lauren went to search through her kitchen to get ideas for dinner. She called out to Harper who was in the living room "Hey I know you said you wanted to cook, but mind if I cook something?"

"Don't trust my cooking?" Harper said lighthearted.

"I just figured I'd give you a break."

"I'm kidding. Of course you can cook." Lauren saw Harper head to the bathroom to shower.

Lauren grabbed her phone. She saw she had several missed calls and texts. Most of them were from Jennifer and Jessica. They were questioning her on where she was and if she was okay. She replied back to Jessica telling her she was fine, just taking some time to herself. She told Jennifer she had personal business. Lauren still didn't want anyone else to know what happened. She wouldn't see Jessica until her wounds were completely healed because she wanted to avoid the interrogation. But Lauren figured she would be okay to go to work tomorrow night. She would show up late and wear a hat to cover up the few cuts and bruises on her face.

Lauren heard the shower turn on as she pulled chicken out the fridge. She decided she would make her Parmesan chicken with pasta and carrots. She pulled out the rest of the ingredients and began preparing the chicken. Once it was in the oven, Lauren began making a red sauce from scratch and cooking noodles. Lauren could hear Harper getting out of the shower now. Lauren thought about the kiss earlier and how much she wanted to kiss her back. As Lauren was putting everything back in the oven to finish, she saw her phone light up. She looked at the number that just sent her a text, but she didn't recognize it. 'Hey where have you been?'

'Who is this?' Lauren replied.

"So what's for dinner Rachael Ray?" Harper chuckled as she walked out of the bathroom with a towel in her hair.

Lauren gave her crooked smile, "We are having Parmesan chicken with red sauce. I was going to make carrots but forgot. I can make them now if you want?"

Harper shook her head, "No that's okay, if we are still hungry, I can make a dessert."

"Sounds good to me." Lauren saw the unknown number had replied and picked up her phone.

'Jessie. Hadn't seen you in awhile so I got your number from Jennifer so I could check up on you.'

Lauren felt something that the only way she could explain was that it was like her heart smiled. She replied 'Yeah all good. Just needed some time off. I'll probably be back tomorrow night.' Now she was definitely ready to go back to work.

Lauren put her phone in her pocket and started to set plates. "What do you want to drink?"

Harper walked over to the fridge to look. "Hmm, beer?"

"Was it even a question?" Lauren grinned at her.

Harper gave a cheerful smile and walked to the counter with a beer for each of them. Lauren took the food out of the oven and began to plate. It turned out just as she wanted. Just like everything else she attempted to learn, Lauren was a pretty good cook. She set a plate in front of Harper and then took her place next to her.

"Damn, you might have Rachael Ray beat."

Lauren shrugged. "I like to cook. I did it when I could growing up."

Harper got quiet at the mention of Lauren's childhood and began eating. Lauren appreciated that Harper didn't try to ask her anymore about her life even after trial was over. They both ate and sipped beer in silence. Lauren finished first and started to clean up. "Want anymore?"

"No thank you. That was an amazing meal. You are definitely a good cook. Is there anything you aren't good at?" Harper stood up to help clean.

Lauren took a minute and thought about it. "I'm not good at sewing."

Harper laughed and shook her head. "Want me to make dessert?"

"What kind of dessert?"

"I make a really good peanut butter cookies."

"Hm, well I'm kind of full but I can't say no to cookies. I'll help."

"Very well then." Harper started pulling out ingredients and giving Lauren instructions. In no time the cookies were made and the first batch was in the oven. "Now we wait." Harper grabbed another beer for the both of them.

"Thank you." Lauren sat down at the counter, needing a rest from standing. She was definitely still sore. "Do you work tomorrow?

"Yeah. Pretty much all day." Harper sipped her beer.

"I think I'm going to try to go in tomorrow as well." Lauren waited for Harper to disapprove.

"Well you got around today pretty well and I'm sure you're tired of being cooped up. Just don't over do it. If you want I can stay tomorrow too, just in case you overdo it." Harper turned to take the first batch of cookies out and let them cool.

Lauren nodded. "I have an extra key you can keep for now. But I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me. I'm not in pain anymore." She lied.

"I'll stay a few more nights, just to make sure. It is my duty after all to take care of the injured." Harper put the next batch of cookies in the oven and handed Lauren a fresh one.

Lauren took a bite. "Fuck, these are delicious." Finished the cookie off.

Harper smiled and ate hers. "It's an old family recipe."

They finished cooking all the batches and after they were done cooling placed them on a plate. They each ate 5 cookies themselves and went through 3 more beers each. Lauren's wounds were screaming at her but she was trying to ignore them. They went to the living room to watch T.V. It was getting late though and Lauren knew Harper had to work early tomorrow. "You can sleep in my bed if you want. I'll sleep out here."

"No I'm not putting you out of your own bed. I'll sleep here." Harper protested.

"Well if you decide you aren't comfortable on the couch, you can sleep in the bed with me." Lauren felt bad that Harper was going to sleep on the couch. It wasn't fair. Lauren really didn't mind but she knew Harper wouldn't make Lauren sleep on the couch.

"Thank you." Lauren knew Harper probably wouldn't sleep with her, especially not after the kiss earlier.

Lauren got up to go change her bandages one last time before bed. She threw her shirt in with the other dirty clothes. As she took off the bandages, she saw that a few of the deeper wounds had reopened and almost bled all the way through. She winced as she pulled the bandages from her skin. She cleaned them up and placed new ones. Lauren was exhausted now and decided to just lay down. She pulled out her phone. Jessica and Jennifer both told her they were glad to finally hear from her. Lauren knew they would both question her next time they saw her. She put her phone on charge and closed her eyes.

Lauren tossed and turned all night. If she didn't have nightmares, she was in pain. She laid in bed and listened to Harper get ready for work and leave. She tried to go back to bed but couldn't, she laid there until 9:00. She decided to get up and shower. She undressed and threw away her bandages. Lauren felt tired and groggy, then she thought about work. She let a smile grow on her face. She thought about how Jessie texted her. Jessie's face burned in Lauren's mind. She felt her body react to the thought of her. Lauren shook her head and finished showering. She rebandaged herself and put on a fresh pair of sweatpants and a shirt. Lauren figured she'd watch T.V. and maybe play video games before work. She knew she would need rest for tonight.

She laid on the couch and turned the channel to watch Law and Order: SVU. She dozed off in the middle of an episode. It was the growl of her stomach that woke her up. She went to the kitchen and made a sandwich. She went back to the living room to eat her lunch on the couch. She turned on her game console and played a little. She soon got bored and went back to watching T.V. Lauren began to think about work again. She hadn't thought about the fact that she owns a motorcycle. She wasn't positive she would be able to make the drive. She knew Jennifer wouldn't be able to drive her and Jessica was probably busy too. Lauren decided to just skip out another day. She should be fine to drive by tomorrow. She got up to go get her phone to let Harper know she'd have dinner cooked for her when she got home. Lauren plopped back down on the couch. A smile grew on her face from ear to ear when she saw that Jessie had sent her another text. 'Decide on whether you're coming to work tonight or not?'

'Probably not. Can't drive my motorcycle just yet.' she replied kind of bummed out.

'You okay? I can give you a ride if you want.' Jessie texted back instantly.

Lauren smiled at the thought. She needed to get out of the house and it's always nice to make money. 'Yeah I'm good. Do you mind giving me a ride? Don't want to make you go out of the way' Lauren knew she didn't live far from Jessie but didn't want to make Jessie feel obligated.

'What's your address?'

Lauren told Jessie where she lived and that she could pick her up whenever she wanted, to just send her a text when she was on the way. Lauren slumped back into her couch and dozed off with the thought of Jessie in her mind. When she woke back up she checked her phone. Jessie told her she'd be there within the hour. Lauren hopped up and went to get ready. She cleaned her wounds and put fresh bandages on. She grabbed a white v-neck and a pair of khakis. She got dressed and looked for a hat. She grabbed a black flat billed hat and threw it on. She looked in the mirror, you could see the cuts and bruises still. Lauren hoped it would be too dark in the club for anyone to notice. She went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and pick a cologne. Lauren picked her favorite scent and applied the perfect amount. Jessie sent her a text that she was outside. Lauren quickly threw on her black Vans and put her wallet and keys in her pockets, then jetted out of the door.

Lauren spotted Jessie's truck and got in on the passenger side. She tried to lean into the door and tilt her hat, in hopes Jessie wouldn't notice her face. "Thank you so much for the ride. My bike is in the shop." She lied, feeling instantly guilty, something she wasn't used to feeling.

Jessie looked her over quickly before taking off to work. "No problem. You get in a wreck or something?"

Lauren thought about telling her the truth, but didn't want Jessie to pity or judge her, "Something like that."

"From the marks on your face, you look like you got in a wreck with a train." Jessie stated boldly and not missing a beat.

Shit, Lauren thought, she called my bluff. Lauren sat up straight and adjusted her hat. She couldn't believe Jessie actually saw the cuts and bruises. "I, um, the other night I was attacked."

"So that's why you haven't been at work or talked to Jennifer?"

Lauren was shocked that Jessie knew she would have a relationship with Jennifer outside of work. She looked at her stunned. Jessie gave her a grin. "Relax, I'm not stalking you. Last night at work she asked if I had seen or talked to you. She said your sister was texting her, worried about you."

"I don't want either of them to know." Lauren felt herself start to get defensive but then calmed herself down. "I'm just ready to get things back to normal."

Jessie nodded as they pulled into work. "Want to have a drink at my place after work?"

"Yeah, I'm tired of being cooped up in my apartment anyways." Lauren almost invited her to her apartment but remembered Harper would be there.

"Good cause I was your ride home anyways. And I was taking you to my place whether you liked it or not." Jessie gave Lauren a devilish smirk.

Lauren tried to ignore the urge fuck Jessie right there. "Oh really? I mean I could always just get a girl from the club looking for a good time to give me a ride home." Lauren smirked back.

Jessie gave a chuckle, "You could but I don't think you are in any condition to pick girls up."

Lauren smiled and shook her head, "If you say so, Doc."

They both laughed and got out of the truck. Lauren was nervous that someone would say something, but the thought of spending time with Jessie afterwards soothed her. She headed to her bar, luckily Jennifer wasn't there yet. Lauren got to setting up right away. Matt walked in halfway through and gave her a nod. Matt wasn't very observant and wouldn't say anything if he did notice. Lauren was just finishing when she noticed Jennifer walk in.

"Tripp!" Jennifer shouted as she skipped to the bar to give Lauren a hug.

Lauren fought back the pain from the hug, "Hey Jenn."

"Where have you been?"

"I just needed some time away."

"Well you don't need to take anymore time away without first telling me and your sister. We were both worried. And I thought you got yourself hurt or locked up after you left here all pissed off the other night." Jennifer scolded her.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll be back." Lauren felt like the wounds on her stomach were now bleeding through from the bear hug that Jennifer just gave her.

When Lauren got in the bathroom she locked the door so nobody could come in. She glanced at the wall and saw the plant still covered up the hole she put there the other night. She pulled up her shirt and saw that she wasn't bleeding through the bandages, yet. Lauren ran her fingers over the bandages, feeling where all of her cuts were. She put her shirt back down carefully and readjusted her hat. She wasn't angry that she was attacked, she was angry she put herself in a position to be attacked. If she hadn't of drank as much as she did, she would have been able to fight all of the men off. She splashed water over her face and left the bathroom. Customers were coming in now and Lauren took her place behind the bar.

Lauren was in immense pain the entire night and she knew Jennifer was getting tired of picking up her slack. Jennifer had already made a few comments about it. So quickly, she poured their typical pre-work shots that they didn't get to do before customers came in today. She handed one to Jennifer and gave her a smile. They tapped the glasses on the bar and slammed them back. Lauren was still slow, but the shot eased her pain some. She barely pulled through the night. Her wounds were screeching at her, but she showed no pain on her face. She cleaned up the bar and told Jennifer to have a good night. Lauren didn't want Jennifer to know she was going home with Jessie, so while she waited on Jessie to finish packing her stuff up she took another three shots.

"You ready?" Jessie said cheerfully as she passed the bar.

Lauren stood up, feeling a little tipsy. She followed Jessie to her truck. She sat patiently in the passenger side waiting while Jessie put on some music before driving off. "How you feeling?" Jessie looked over at Lauren.

Lauren stumbled across her words some, "Pretty good considering.." Lauren almost finished her sentence with '... considering I'm with you' but came to her senses and let her sentence end awkwardly.

"Considering how many shots you took?" Jessie mockingly finished her sentence for her.

"I only had three." Lauren defended herself.

"Mhm. Sometimes that's all it takes. And it probably hit you harder because you look like you overexerted yourself."

Lauren had no idea Jessie payed that much attention to her. "No. I'm okay."

Jessie gave Lauren a look. Lauren could tell that Jessie knew she was in pain but didn't want to prod too much, and Lauren appreciated it. They got to Jessie's apartment and went inside. Jessie went straight to the kitchen and grabbed a beer for them both. Lauren went to the living room and looked around at the few pictures that were on the wall.

"Holy shit, you're bleeding" Jessie exclaimed when she walked into the living room.

"Damn it." Lauren looked down and saw the blood had seeped through her bandages and white shirt. "Do you have bandages and stuff I can clean up with?"

Jessie put the beers down on the coffee table and walked towards a bedroom. When she came back, she had several different types of bandages and wound care items. "Here take off your shirt."

"It's okay. I can clean myself up." Lauren went to grab at a few things.

Jessie gave a stern look. Lauren took off her shirt and exposed her upper body to Jessie. Lauren didn't bother putting on a bra when she got dressed earlier, she never really had to wear a bra anyways because her breasts were small and perky. Lauren looked down at her stomach and saw the blood soaked bandages. Jessie looked at the bandages too. "What the fuck happened to you?"

Lauren became embarrassed and grabbed the stuff and started to walk off. Jessie stopped her immediately "Hey I'm not judging or anything. That's just some serious injuries. And you probably shouldn't have been working."

"I'm okay. It looks worse than it is." Lauren replied quietly and began to take off the bandages.

With Lauren's raw skin exposed, Jessie began cleaning the blood. Lauren could see the worry and concern on Jessie's face as she worked on cleaning Lauren up but she didn't say anything else. Finally done and rebandaged, Jessie handed Lauren a new beer from the fridge and a shirt that didn't have blood on it. "Thank you." Lauren said slumping down on the couch after putting on the shirt.

Jessie nodded, drinking her own beer. Lauren looked at Jessie. She knew what she needed to do. She took a deep breath and began telling Jessie what happened. She left out why she was angry and drinking so much, she also told her that Harper was a friend who she called to help her afterwards. Jessie never interrupted or seemed like she wasn't listening. Lauren maintained a calm demeanor throughout the story. When she was done she looked at Jessie again and said "I don't want anyone to know because I shouldn't have let myself fall into that position. I know how to protect myself and I even landed a few hits. But I was too far gone to be able to fight them all off. I thought I let myself heal enough to be able to work."

Lauren could see several different thoughts dance across Jessie's face, but she remained silent. Lauren grew nervous in the silence. She looked down at her beer. Finally Jessie spoke "You aren't going to press charges?"