This happened to me during the summer, a long time ago. I was a lot less experienced than I am now. I was only eighteen at the time. I was going to spend a week in London with my friend Catherine. Her sister Emily, who is ten years older than me, had a flat in London and was willing to let us crash there. Emily was cool, much cooler than any parent. She would let us smoke, drink and stay out all night. I was looking forward to a wild week.
The train journey down there was a chance for me to dream. I felt so mature, so independent. I fantasized about a week spent like an adult, meeting boys and going to clubs. I even had my fake ID ready.
At the station all of my confidence dissolved. I suddenly felt very alone amongst the rushing crowds. But then I saw Emily. She was looking so glamorous and grown up. I'd known her since I was a little kid and she had always represented everything I wanted to be. Emily was tall and looked Italian with her dark eyes and hair. The summer had given her a tan I could only dream of. I'd always been pale and always would be. She was slim but still had good hips and breasts (not as big as mine but then I'm too curvy for my own good). Even though she was only in jeans and a grey vest top, she managed to look like a model.
"Bad news, babes, Cath's stuck with the grandparents until tomorrow afternoon. You'll have to put up with me until then," Emily said, kissing me on both cheeks. She was so sophisticated and yet she never made me feel like a kid. Nevertheless, I felt worried. How could I, a boring teen, keep up a conversation with Emily? And until the next day!
"No problem," I said. I wished that I felt it.
On the tube, Emily managed to make me feel at ease. She was so communicative, so able to make me feel like I was the most interesting person she had met. I soon forgot all my worries and started to feel like I was an adult. Who needed Cath? Emily and I would get on fine.
Her flat was like something from my imagination. Looking back I realize how naive I was... I've been in bigger and more luxurious places since. At the time it seemed like I had walked into a movie. She had art prints on the walls and photos of her in exotic locations. She had traveled the world. Everywhere there were interesting books, CDs and souvenirs.
When I had dumped my stuff in the tiny spare room, we sat together in the lounge, listening to Nirvana and drinking white wine. She lit up a menthol cigarette and then offered me one. Never had I felt so much like an adult. I was in my friend's flat, having a drink and we were talking about the world: politics, travel, and music.
By the time that we ordered Chinese food, I was drunk. Emily seemed not to be affected at all. I did my best to show off with my chopsticks and she talked to me about the food she had eaten during her time in Asia.
After the meal it was time for lying bloated on the sofa and watching TV. To my surprise, Emily joined me on the sofa, lying at the opposite end, her legs tangled with mine. Emily flipped the channels and we moaned about the lack of good telly. On one channel we were suddenly confronted by some cheesy American soft-core porn. An erotic thriller or so it claimed. Emily left it on so that we could laugh at it. Part of me started to wonder... I had had some bisexual experiences... lots of girls from my area had. But surely Emily wasn't going to try anything? She was so much older than me. I was just a kid to her. My drunk brain tried to work out how likely it was and, if it happened, what I would do.
On the screen, a model with huge fake breasts was being kissed by a guy with ridiculous gym-muscles. They both looked so fake. Neither showed any real passion. It was worse than watching plastic toys fucking. I commented on the model's fake tits and Emily laughed.
"I've had mine done, you know," she said squeezing her breasts in my direction.
I laughed. We were just being silly. Matey silliness.
"You prefer real?" Emily asked.
"Dunno really," I replied, wishing I had some witty response.
"You ever seen real porn? Not this soft stuff?" she asked.
I told her that I had. She asked if I wanted to see some more. I thought that might be a laugh.
She scurried off to the bedroom. My heart had started to pound. She came back with a tatty looking video. She took out the cassette and chucked the box at me. A bold union jack flag formed the back drop to pictures of really plain women in underwear. The back was more explicit. Fingers in a pussy. A girl taking a huge dildo.
After fiddling with the scart lead, Emily got the video started. It was part way through a scene. A skinny young blonde was being fingered by a grinning middle-aged woman. Both of them looked like they were enjoying themselves.
"At least these people seem real," said Emily, settling back on the sofa.
She kept me chatting and laughing but I couldn't ignore the screen. the women were in a sixty-nine now, the young blonde tentatively licking, the older woman burying her face in the girl's pussy.
