Eating Peaches, Peeling Bananas My girlfriend, Clara, is always berating me for not eating a healthy diet. While she's drinking organic apple juice or mineral water fresh from some Alpine glacier, I'm happier slurping on a Beck's or guzzling a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Of course, she always makes sure that she has an apple or apricot in her lunch box whilst I'm more likely to pack a marmite sandwich or grab a waffle on the run.
Last week, Clara announced that she was determined that I should eat more nutritiously.
'But fruit's so boring,' I sighed.
'You've not been eating it in the right way, that's all,' said Clara. 'Tonight, my sweetheart, I'll feed you in a way that'll turn you into a fruitaholic for life.'
Some chance, I thought, as I pecked her on the cheek and rushed for the bus with my half-eaten bacon sandwich in hand.
When I arrived home that evening, Clara called me from the bedroom.
I was happy to oblige. During the day she had sent me three or four emails that were delightfully graphic in sentiment but somewhat mysterious in detail. I couldn't wait to be tucked up in bed with her.
As I entered the bedroom, I inhaled the delicious scent of apples, apricot and other more exotic fruits.
Clara was splayed on the bed. She was wearing only a teeshirt that barely reached her bottom. Her long, honey blonde was brushed off her face and her legs, the same saffron shade as her hair, looked gorgeous.
I kissed her eagerly and slipped my hand under her teeshirt to squeeze her fulsome breasts.
She pulled away. 'Get undressed and I'll pour you a cocktail.' Lovely, I thought, drinks too.
'It's a special fruit cocktail,' she said, pouring from a jug. 'See if you like it.'
'Not that again, Clara,' I said. But I tasted it and it was good. Tasted strong too. Was that rum? I soon felt quite heady.
She helped me off with my bra and panties and then pushed me back onto the bed.
Clara straddled me and, leaning forwards, held down my forearms while she swept my face, breasts and arms with a veil of golden tresses. Then her lips followed their journey, laying a trail of kisses across my skin like footprints in snow. She released my arms, sucking and nibbling at my fingertips, then stroked me softly, grazing her finger nails down my body until my nipples felt as stiff as little pebbles.
Clara sat up straight and laughed at me provocatively.
'So you don't like fruit, my darling? What about this?' She leant across and picked up from the fruit bowl a ripe peach.
She rolled it across her cheek and then my own. It was so warm and round and soft.
'See how bruised it looks,' said Clara, rubbing a mauve patch of skin. 'As dark as your lovely nipples.'