Don't Say It

When I woke up in the morning, I was in Professor Keller's bed.

She laid beside me, her face relaxed in a peaceful sleep and her hair scattered across the pillow. Her arm rested across my stomach.

Unable to resist, I reached up to caress her face, my thumb brushing against her lips. Under it, the corners of her mouth lifted.

"Did you carry me into bed?" I asked.

Without opening her eyes, she answered. "Maybe."

"You should have woken me up," I groaned.

She opened her eyes then. "You looked so peaceful. I couldn't."

"How'd you sleep?"

Professor Keller smiled softly. "Better."

The memories of last night flashed through my mind, and I felt my face flush hot. I grew very aware of my naked body next to hers.

I buried my face under the blanket. "Oh my god."

"What, don't tell me you're shy now," she teased.

"You saw me naked," I mumbled into the blanket.

I heard her shift on the bed, and then she pulled the blanket off my face. She grinned cheekily. "I'm naked too, you know."

Then she leaned in to whisper in my ears. "And I'm very wet right now."

With renewed energy, I flipped on top of her, and she bit down on her lip. My fingers lowered between her legs, and I felt it damp.

"Professor --"

She shook her head. "Nicole. That's my first name."

I slipped a finger into her, and her body arched up against mine. "Nicole, you're wet for me, aren't you?"

"Yes," she gasped, her eyes fluttering closed.

"Look at me," I demanded, and she forced her eyes open. I slipped in another finger, and slid them in and out. She grabbed my shoulder, gripping it tightly.

"Fuck, Lily." She shivered, and I grinned now.

Slowly, I slid down under the sheets and down her body. Her juices flowed down my fingers, and my mouth soon took over. My tongue filled her hole, and I allowed my teeth to gently scrape against her folds.

"Lily!" she cried out. "Don't stop."

I sucked her clit into my mouth. She grabbed the back of my head, and pushed my face deeper into her nethers. Her hips grinded down on my face. My tongue flicked at her clit and circled it. Moans vibrated through her body.

It was growing hot under the blanket, and sweat broke out on my skin. I pressed a thumb to her clit and rubbed it as my tongue slipped back into her hole. I flicked it up and down, and her hips jerked.

"Oh fuck," she hissed. "Lily, I'm close. I'm--"

She was cut off by her own orgasm. Her hips lifted off the bed, and I raised myself up to my knees and held her up by her legs. My mouth sucked up her flowing wetness.

When her body grew limp, I lowered her back onto the bed before ascending out of the blanket. Fresh air hit my face.

Meanwhile, Nicole laid there, an arm resting over her closed eyes. Her chest rose and lowered heavily.

"You're gonna have to give me a minute," she panted.

Laughing, I collapsed back down beside her. Hot and sweaty, I kicked the blanket off of us. "How's that for round two?"

An exhausted laugh bubbled through her lips. "How do you keep surprising me?"

I turned to face her now. "Prof -- Nicole."

"Hm?"

"Was I...good?"

She opened an eye to look at me, her blue eyes piercing. "You're kidding, right?"

My chest clenched with unease. She lowered her arm and turned to fully look at me. "Lily, you were more than good. You were fucking amazing."

I blushed deeply.

Her gaze lowered to my bare chest with a hungry look. She reached up and gently circled my hardened nipples with a finger. My body shivered.

Her finger trailed down my stomach, past my hips, down my thighs and up --

I grabbed a fistful of the sheets as two fingers filled me. Nicole took my lips in hers and kissed me tenderly. Her fingers slid in and out of me, and I felt my own juices flowed onto the sheets.

Her pace quickened, and then I pulled away from the kiss, gasping. Nicole slid down my body, her gaze never leaving mine as she slid her tongue between my folds. My stomach fluttered, and my thighs grew tight with tension.

Nicole's tongue flicked around in cursive, and I lurched up off the bed. She reached up to push my body down, a tease of a smile on her lips.

Fuck.

She lifted one of my legs onto her shoulder, widening the gap to give her more access.

"Nicole," I moaned. "I'm gonna cum."

"Cum for me," she mumbled against my folds.

Then she sucked my clit into her tongue, and gently took it between her teeth. I panted hard as my lower region tingled and then exploded. My chest expanded, my hips lifted, and my mouth opened with a gasp.

My juices squirted out, and my thighs shook violently.

"Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck," I said breathlessly.

Nicole pressed her mouth against my pussy and lapped at the juices. I looked down to find her face dripping, and another wave of pleasure rolled through my body.

I leaned my head far back, moaning loudly. She continued to suck on my juices after my orgasm had subsided, and sensitive, I pushed her head away.

"Holy shit," she said. "That was the hottest thing I've ever seen."

I laughed weakly.

Her face climbed back up to hover above mine. It was drenched, and my scent was all over her. She pressed her mouth gently against mine, and I tasted myself on her lips.

"Taste how good you are," she said in between kisses.

"You're such a freak," I laughed.

Amusement danced in her eyes. "Only for you."

-----

When our bodies regained movement, we finally left the bed and went for round three in the shower. The bathroom was like a sauna by the time we exited.

Nicole had lent me another pair of her joggers and hoodie, and that was what I wore now as I stood in the living room, looking outside the window.

I sipped from a mug of coffee she had brewed, my thoughts occupied. Then her arms snaked around my waist from behind, and she pressed her face into the side of my neck.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, her warm breath fanning my neck.

"You," I answered honestly. "Us."

She stiffened. I turned around in her arms and saw guilt begin to set in her eyes. I touched a comforting hand to her cheek, and her gaze met mine.

"I don't regret anything," I said firmly. "I want to keep seeing you. I want to keep doing this."

Her eyes searched my face for any doubts. There were none.

"Come back to class," she finally said.

My stomach fluttered. "Are you sure?"

She gave a single nod. "I missed you."

"I'm right here."

"I missed seeing you in class. I missed reading your papers."

I bit down on my lip shyly. "Is that why you didn't show up for two weeks?"

A shadow crossed her eyes. "Partly but no." My mouth opened to ask, but she shook her head. "I'm not ready to talk about it."

So many secrets and demons. I wanted to know what kept her up at night, but I didn't want to push it. Her face looked fragile now as if she would slither away if I kept probing.

Instead, I asked another question that weighed on my mind. "A friend told me she took your class and hated it. She said you were a harsh grader, but with my first paper, it was nearly a perfect score." I sucked in a breath. "Was it because you..."

"No," she answered firmly before I could finish. "You deserved that grade. Your paper was really well-written, Lily, and I would never let my feelings affect my ability as a teacher."

I nodded slowly. "And the reflection papers?"

Now, her sternness was replaced by shyness. "I just wanted to read more of your thoughts." I laughed, and she scowled. "You never talked, but your essay conveyed so much sophisticated thinking. It was frustrating."

"Well, how about instead of reflection papers, I tell them to you in person? One on one," I suggested.

She raised a brow. "And where would these sessions take place?"

I waved my hand around. "Oh, you know. Here would work. Of course, it might be a little distracting with the bed and all."

Her lips formed a smirk. "That would be a major distraction."

"The classroom is spacious, but who knows, there might be another class after," I continued. "And there's just too many windows, and birds can be very nosy."

"Those flying bastards." She clicked her tongue.

I bit back a laugh. "Your office, though. It's private. There's no bed and no windows."

"And no birds," she added amusingly.

"No birds," I echoed.

Gently, Nicole kissed me. I responded eagerly. Then she pulled away with a thought. "That friend who took my class. Was it Cailee Williams?"

"Yeah," I answered breathlessly. "How'd you know?"

"I recognized her outside the bar." She swallowed tightly. "It drove me crazy seeing you kiss her."

"I'm glad," I said softly.

She shrugged. "I had a feeling she hated my class. Her essays were not...good."

"She called you a bitch."

Then, Nicole laughed. "Well, I won't blame her for it. I know I can be hard."

Now, it was my turn to kiss her. My lips moved gently, and I savored her softness. I pulled away, and her eyes fluttered open. "When I was kissing her, all I could think about was you."

"Oh." She looked a little proud.

I stoked her ego. "I wished it was you kissing me. Cailee is nice, and she's a good friend. But she can never be you."

"I guess I can be a bit irresistible," she said teasingly.

I rolled my eyes now. "Okay, cocky much?"

She laughed, and I kissed her deeply. This time, our lips moved fast and hot. I set the coffee mug down on the table and wrapped my hands around her waist.

Her hair fell down and tickled my cheeks. I probed my tongue, and she parted her lips. Our tongues met and wrestled for control.

Then Nicole slipped a hand through my waistband, and her fingers curled into me. I pulled back, breathing hard. Never breaking eye contact, she brought her wet fingers up to her lips and sucked my juices into her mouth.

"Your sheets are in the washer," I managed to say.

Nicole shrugged. "The couch works just as well."

She stepped towards me, her eyes hungry for more. I pressed a firm hand to her chest, staving her off. "What if I...what if it happens again?"

Her brow raised in question.

My face flushed. "What I did to your sheets? I don't want to ruin your couch."

"Fuck the couch," she said lowly. "It will be worth it."

I bit my lip, and this time, when she stepped forward, I let her. Our lips joined once again, and she backed me towards the couch. I collapsed on top of it, and her on top of me.

Nicole pushed my shirt up to my neck, and she pulled back, her eyes devouring the sight of my breasts. Then she lowered her face onto them and sucked them into her mouth. I moaned heatedly, my fingers lacing through her hair and gripping it tightly.

Her tongue flicked my hardened nipples, and the sensation lit up all my nerves.

"I need you," I rasped out.

"Need?" she mumbled against my breasts. "Need and want are two very different things."

"Shut up." My hips arched as my lower region tingled with desire. "I need you now."

Chuckling, she slid down my body and began to pull down my pants. As her face reached my hips, my stomach rumbled.

I froze.

She looked up at me, amusement in her eyes. "I think what you need is food, actually."

My face flushed hot, and I covered it with my hands. "Oh my god."

She laughed, and I felt her press a delicate kiss to my mound. Instinctively, my hips rose for more, but she pressed my body back down and pulled up my pants. She gently kissed her way up my body, and I felt her pull my shirt back down.

Nicole pulled my hands away from my face, and I wanted to sink deeper into the couch, when I saw the laughter on her face.

"Food first," she said. "Then we will continue this later."

"I think I would rather die. Just leave me here, please."

"You'll be missing out of my pancakes."

At that, my stomach grumbled again.

"Noooo!" I exclaimed at my loud stomach.

Nicole laughed again and pulled me to my feet. "Come on."

And I followed her.

------

After eating, we did, in fact, continue. It lasted throughout the entire day. We couldn't get enough of each other.

But it was a Sunday, and I had classes tomorrow. I wanted to skip them and just go to her class, but she didn't let me.

"I don't want to be the reason you fail your classes," she said sternly.

So she drove me back to my dorm. After she parked the car outside of my dorm building, we sat in silence for a while. Even though it was just one night apart, my chest clenched tightly.

"I'm gonna miss you," I said in the dark.

She huffed out a small laugh. "We'll see each other tomorrow."

"Will we?" I asked and turned to look at her. "What if you wake up in the morning and regret everything? After today, I don't know if I can take it if you push me away again."

Nicole's gaze softened. I had been so accustomed to her coldness before that it sometimes still took me off guard to see her be so gentle and caring.

"I don't regret anything," she said firmly and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

I smiled then. "Okay, good."

Nicole leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. I savored it. "Good night, Lily."

"Good night," I whispered.

Later that night, as I laid in bed, sleep did not come easy. I tossed and turned, wondering if nightmares would haunt Nicole tonight.

-------

Monday went by slowly, and my anticipation for Nicole's class made me restless throughout the day. I had no other way to contact her except her work email, and it took everything in me to not send her an email.

Classes were a dull, but I was barely paying attention anyway.

Soon enough, 3pm came around, and I was on the bus to the eastern part of campus, towards her. Unable to sit still, I stayed standing, gripping the handrail tightly.

As soon as the bus arrived at the stop and the doors slid open, I was off rushing to the English building. I had missed her presence, and knowing she was so close now, I didn't slow down for anything.

By the time I got to the building, my skin had broken into a sweat. I stopped at the door, gulping for air. My fingers patted down loose strands of hair, and I adjusted my clothes before stepping into the building.

The hallways were quiet and bare. I walked the familiar path as my heart hammered inside my chest. I turned the last corner, walked to the end of the hallway, and my body grew still.

The classroom door was closed, and taped to it was a note that would have sent any student into cheers.

But not me. My heart plummeted into the depths of my stomach.

Class canceled.

She had clearly said she had no regrets. I was sure of it, but the longer I read the note, the more unsure I grew.

Several of my classmates had stopped by, read the note, and practically skipped out of the building. I wasn't sure how long I stood there for, mulling over the memories of yesterday.

I was waiting for her to open the door with a mischievous grin, but it remained shut. When I finally decided to leave, my legs were numb from standing.

As I waited for the bus, I decided to type her an email. I kept it vague and professional.

Hello Professor Keller,

I saw that class was canceled today. I hope all is well.

Sincerely,

Lily

Not even a full minute later, I refreshed my email, but there was no response. I grew frustrated at myself for not asking for her number, and I grew fearful as well.

Because what if she had regretted everything? What if she didn't want to see me anymore? What if it was guilt that haunted her last night?

No.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions. Not until I talked to her at least. Instead of getting on the bus, I called Alice.

"Can you give me a ride somewhere?" I asked her.

"Of course," she said happily.

Not too long after, she pulled up with her car.

"Where to?" she asked when I climbed into the passenger seat.

I gave her the address, to which she typed into her GPS. Then we were on the road, and my stomach fluttered with nerves.

"Is this your friend's place?" Alice asked cooly.

With her sunglasses on, I couldn't see her expression.

"Yes," I answered hesitantly.

"Wait, let me rephrase that," she said. "Friend or girlfriend?"

With that, I didn't know how to answer. What were we?

We definitely weren't friends, but to call her my girlfriend...I blushed at the thought.

Alice looked at my expression and nodded in understanding. "It's a situationship, isn't it." Before I could answer, she snapped her head to look at me. "Wait, is this the same person who's been making you cry?"

This time, I kept silent, and she hit her steering wheel. I looked at her in surprise. "I knew it! I should turn this car around."

"No!" I exclaimed. "She's not like that. It was just a misunderstanding."

Her lips widened into a grin. "Oh, I'm just messing with you. I wanted to see how you would react."

I shot her a glare, and she laughed. "That's not funny."

"It kinda is. You should have seen your face."

"Bitch."

Once again, she laughed. The car turned into the apartment complex, and I felt my nerves shot up. Alice parked the car, but before I could leave, she stopped me.

"Can I give you a bit of advice?" she asked.

I let go of the door handle and leaned back. "I'm sure you'll give it anyway."

"If she makes you cry more than she makes you happy, then she's not worth the sixty percent of pain you have to suffer just for the forty percent of happiness." Alice took my hands into hers. "No one is ever worth that amount of heartbreak."

I gaped at her. "I'll take that into mind."

She smiled brightly, and all of the seriousness from seconds ago disappeared. "Do you need me to stay? Just in case?"

I looked towards the building, considering. I thought about the surety of Nicole's gaze in the car, her lips on mine, soft but not desperate.

Shaking my head, I attempted a smile. "No, it's okay. Thank you."

"I wanna hear all the details," she said but then paused. "Ah, well, not all the details."

Blushing, I shoved the door open. "I'm telling you nothing."

I shut the door on her protests and made my way to the building before she had the chance to roll the windows.

As I waited for the elevator inside, I willed my heart to calm. I pulled out my phone to check my email, but she had not responded.

The doors slid open, and I stepped into the elevator. Whatever happened next, I would be able to handle it. Alice's earlier words echoed in my head, and I made a promise to myself that I would confide in her.

Not the whole truth. I couldn't tell her I was in a relationship or situationship, rather, with my professor, but I would tell her what I could.

As the doors slid open, I stepped out with a renewed energy. The walk to her apartment door was short, but it felt like the longest minute of my life. I stopped in front of her door, took a moment to steel myself, and then knocked.

For a full minute, I stood there waiting, but the door remained closed. I pressed my ear to the door but heard nothing. I knocked on the door again, this time louder.

Now, I wondered if she was inside at all or if she was standing on the other side, waiting for me to leave. I backed from the door, feeling my resolve slipped.

I had placed my trust in her feelings and words, but maybe I had been too trustful. She had pushed me away so many times before, after all.

As I turned to leave, the door swung open. I stopped.

Nicole stood on the other side, huddled under a thick blanket that trailed to the floor behind her. Her face was pale and damp with sweat. Her lips, so soft last night, were dry now.

Despite all of that, she smiled weakly when she saw me, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Hey," she rasped out.

My heart lurched out. I rushed into the apartment, shutting the door behind me. Then I grasped her face in my hands. "Oh my god, Nicole."

She turned her face and tried to pull away. "No, Lily. You're gonna get sick."