"Ms. Colgan. I've finished grading this week's papers."
"Thank you, you can set them on the corner of the desk. By the way, you're still coming tonight aren't you?"
I was hoping she wouldn't remember. "I'm not sure. I was thinking about it. But I just don't know."
"You know how much it would mean to me."
"I know. And I appreciate the invitation. But."
"But what?" she cut me off. "What else could be so important that you can't take one night off to have some fun?"
"I have a lot of homework to do. I have that Data Analysis paper due for you next week. A Physic lab to write up. Mix Signal's home work due on Monday and I have a Calculus exam on Wednesday."
"To hell with all that." She said startling me. In the past Ms. Colgan had always used perfect English, pronouncing each syllable with just the right amount of emphasize. Never using slang terms or swear words. She spoke almost as if English was her second language, but the only accent she had was the one that comes with wealth. It didn't take much to see that she lead a privilege life. Private schools, Ivy League colleges, expensive clothing, nice cars and by the looks of her fit body, a personal trainer. To hear her swear now, for the first time, caught me off guard.
"When you're a 90 year old hag lying in a nursing home, what's going to help put a smile on your face? Quadratic equations, or the good times you had?"
"But I'm on a scholarship program. I have to maintain my grades."
"Give me a break. When was the last time you didn't get an `A', or at the very least a `B+'? Certainly you have nothing to worry about in my class. Do you think they pick just anyone to be a TA? Do you think I would let you grade my papers if I didn't think you had what it takes? Lighten up. Have some fun. You won't be in college forever. When was the last time you went on a date? I bet you can't remember. Let me ask you something. You trust me don't you? You know I would never do anything to hurt you?"
"You've always been nice to me."
"Dame straight I have. And I think I've been more then patient. How many of my parties have I invited you to?"
"A couple."
"Four." She said holding up 4 stern fingers. "And you've never been to one of them. I'm beginning to think you don't like me."
"It's not that."
"You're an adult now. You need to make up you own mind. Stop straddling the fence and pick a side. You do know what type of party this is don't you?"
"I have an ideal."
"Then you know there's a good chance you could meet someone you like. Perhaps you'll find that special someone. Or perhaps you'll meet several special someone's." She said with a devilish grin. "You would like to meet someone wouldn't you?"
"Of course. And I appreciate you inviting me, I really do, it's just that I don't think I would fit it."
"Do you know what the University would do to me if they knew we were having this discussion? Hell, if they knew about my lifestyle I would be out the door. I've risked my whole career for you. I don't think it is too much to ask that you come to one of my parties. Do you?"
"If I did go, I'm afraid I might disappoint you. I don't think I could do the things that you want me to."
"Well of course you can. What a silly thing to say. Are you too shy? Is that the real problem?"
"A little bit. Yes. Plus, I don't know if this is the sort of thing for me."
"Have you ever done anything like this before?"
"Sort of. I mean, I've never did anything myself, but."
"So your not sure what to do? Why didn't you come to me sooner?" With that she stood up, walked over to the office door, locked it and sat on the sofa.
"Come over here, I want to show you something."
I walked over to her and started to sit down.
"No." She stopped me. "I want you to kneel, so you can get a better look."
"Ms. Colgan." I said surprised.
"Fuck Ms. Colgan, call me Judy. Now get on your knees." I didn't move. I was too stunned to move.
"You heard what I said." With that she grabbed my wrist and pulled me down. I was paralyzed. Shock. Frozen. Unable to move or say anything. I had only wanted to turn in this week's papers and some how I ended up between my Professor's legs.
"Calm down. It's not the end of the world." She said stroking my hair. "I just want to show you something. Are you going to be alright?"
I didn't say anything.
"Shake your head or something. Let me know you're alive in there." She said waving a hand in front of my face.
"I'm okay."
"Good. That's what I wanted to hear. Now, do you know what a pussy looks like?"
"Of course."
"No, I mean what a pussy really looks like. Have you ever looked at yourself with a mirror? Have you ever taken a mirror, held it between your legs and really looked at it? Exploring all of different layers, all of the little nooks and crannies? Really discovering everything that makes up a very important part of our lives."
"No."
"Of course you haven't. Would you like to see mine?"
In truth there was a part of me that found her attractive. After she invited me the first time, I knew she liked me, and I couldn't help fantasying about her. There had been many nights where I had fallen asleep with her image in my mind, and my hands between my legs. Granted she was at least 20 years my senior, but she looked great. It was obvious she took great care, and personal pride in her appearance. A little part of me, the part I keep hidden from everyone, the part I never let out, was saying `Yes', but the rest of me was screaming `No'. This was wrong. I shouldn't be here. What would my friends say? What would my family say? I was confused and needed time to think. The smart thing for me to do was to get out. I started to say `No', but instead my head nodded `Yes'. Some how logic had lost, and I was betrayed by myself.
Not giving me a chance to change my mind she scooted to the edge of the sofa, slid back the hem of her gray Liz Claiborne suit, arched her back and wiggled off a pair of red and white plaid panties.
