I would encourage the reader to take each chapter of Discovering Christina in order. However, for those who don't, here's a brief recap:
Ross Daniels is a bachelor in his late 40's who had given up on love; that is, until he met the beautiful Christina, more than 25 years his junior. He was immediately captivated by her blonde hair, blue eyes and voluptuous figure. And he fell in love with her intelligence, sense of humor and joy for living . . . and of course, the great sex! They began a passionate affair and, after some rough patches, she moved into his loft apartment in the small town of Durham.
Things were going well until Christina went on a "girls' weekend" in Dallas with three friends from college. Ross could tell on her return that something happened there. He's about to find out what it was.
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"I'm ready to talk about Dallas now. There's a lot I need to tell you."
Christina's words hit me like a punch in the stomach. I had been obsessing over what might have gone on while she enjoyed the "girls' weekend" with her three college friends in Dallas. But, now that she seemed ready to talk about it, I began to question whether I really wanted to know.
There are some questions that shouldn't be asked. Or answered. Obviously, something had gone on in Dallas, and apparently I was about to find out what . . . whether I wanted to or not.
By this time, Christina and I had straightened our clothes and sat there on the boardwalk, huddled together against the cool, grey morning, the light blue blanket pulled tight around us. "All right," I said, "whatever you have to tell me . . . let's hear it."
"Not here," she responded softly, and with those words, she stood up. I followed suit, then took the hand she offered, as we walked slowly back toward the car. Occasionally, I'd glance at Christina, trying to decipher the far-away look on her face. But it was not a look I'd seen before.
"Do you want to drive?" I asked as we reached the car.
"I think I'd like you to drive," she replied. "You'll have to keep your eyes on the road, and it will be easier for me to tell you about the weekend if you're not looking at me."
By this time, I was certain I was going to hear something I wouldn't like. But whatever it turned out to be, I needed to hear it. And it seemed that Christina needed to tell me.
I opened the passenger door for her, then climbed behind the wheel of the Lexus. The engine purred softly as I pulled out of the little picnic area and headed back to the main highway. It would take about an hour or so to get back to Durham, and I was certain it would be an hour I'd never forget.
I kept my eyes on the twisting road that led from the park to the highway and Christina sat quietly, her back pressed against the door, suggesting through her body language that she didn't want to be very close to me at that point. So, I kept quiet, thinking I'd let her talk when she was ready.
But after about five minutes, as I pulled onto the main highway from the lake road, I just couldn't wait any longer. If it was going to be something painful, I wanted to get it over with. "All right," I said, glancing over at her, "are you ready to tell me now?"
"I don't know. I . . .," her voice trailed off.
And without waiting to answer, she began, her voice almost inaudible over the soft hum of tires on pavement. "Ross, I want you to remember that I love you. Okay?"
"Okay," I responded softly, trying not to betray the swarm of butterflies that were flying around in my stomach.
"Well . . . ," she hesitated, and I let the silence hang in the air as long as I could.
"Just tell me one thing," I interrupted, my patience finally exhausted. "Did you fuck some guy down there in Dallas?"
I immediately felt bad for lashing out like that. I glanced over at Christina, who by this time had shoved herself farther against the door. Her arms were folded across her chest, and her cheeks were crimson. I thought I saw a tear trickling out of the corner of her beautiful blue eyes. She didn't answer, of course. She didn't even look at me.
We drove in silence for another ten minutes, before I finally got up the nerve to speak again. "Listen, Sweetie," I said softly, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, and I shouldn't have said it like I did. But you have to know I'm dying inside imagining all sorts of things. And they're all bad." I reached over to take her hand, but she pulled it away.
"That was a really mean thing to say, you know," she responded, her voice cracking a little.
"I know, baby, I'm sorry."
"You know I don't have to tell you anything," she shot back firmly.
"I know you don't."
"But just for your information," she said softly, "the answer is no. I didn't even dance with any guys." This time she reached over for my hand.
Her words caused this feeling of relief to wash over me. Until that moment, I hadn't even realized how much I loved Christina. The thought of something—or someone--coming between us was simply overwhelming.
"Are you ready to tell me what actually happened, then?" I asked, trying to act calmer than I really felt.
"Well," she started again. "I had sex in Dallas . . ."
"God dammit, Christina! I thought you said . . ." My words trailed off and I sat there trying to drive, feeling totally bewildered.
"I had sex," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper, "with Alicia."
"You had sex with Alicia?" I managed after a long pause.
"Yes."
"You had sex with Alicia?" I repeated, thinking that saying it again might help it sink in a bit more.
"Yes. Ross, I . . ."
"God, Christina," I said slowly, "every time I think I'm ready for anything you throw at me, you still seem to be able to blind-side me. Obviously, I'm surprised."
"Surprised in a good way?"
"I don't know yet," I said slowly. "I'm gonna need a little more detail and some time to process it all."
"You remember that Alicia and I were roommates in college, right?" Her voice was a bit more animated by this time.
"Yes, I remember," I responded, calling to mind a party pic she had shown me not long after moving in. It was Christina and a pretty girl with long dark hair posing with their arms around each other at some fraternity bash. I remember thinking then how sexy the two of them looked that night—Christina in a black strapless dress that showed an abundance of cleavage, and Alicia in a blue number, with a neckline that plunged into a deep vee. It was held together loosely by a delicate bit of fabric; otherwise her pert breasts would have popped right out.
The two of them were about the same height—in the 5-2 range. Otherwise, they were a study in contrasts—Christina with her blonde hair, blue eyes and voluptuous figure, and Alicia with her dark brown hair and eyes, and slender, athletic build. With the booze and the frat boys in apparent abundance at that party, I didn't even want to think about what the two of them probably got themselves into that night . . . or more precisely . . . what probably got into them.
"Alicia and I had been friends for a long time, even before college," she continued. "We met in grade school and went clear through high school together. Boy, did we get into some crazy things . . .," her voice trailed off. "She and I were best friends—you know, sleepovers, double dates and all that stuff."
"Right, I know." I realized that my hands were beginning to grip the wheel much tighter than usual, signaling the tension that was building as I waited for Christina's story to unfold.
"She and I kidded around a lot. Sort of, you know, acting like there might be more between us than just friendship."
"I don't understand," I said, puzzled.
"Oh, we'd dance with each other when we went out to clubs . . . real sexy, you know? We'd touch each other, and kiss . . . "
"Okay, I get the picture," I interrupted.
"Well, it was fun to tease the guys like that," she continued, "and if we happened to be double-dating, it was a sure fire way to get the guys in the mood." Then she stopped. "Oops," she continued. "I guess that might have been too much information."