"If you don't mind me asking, tell me more about your personal life." Kat said, touching my thigh like she had earlier. "Well, I had my first kiss at age 14, but never did much with a boy until college. It was okay, but not something I'd like to do again." I was a bit embarrassed. Being the attractive woman Kat was, I'm sure she'd had plenty of guys craving her touch. "Oh, interesting. So, what was it about the sex you didn't like?" I hid my face at the question, "I'm a ...uh..virgin." I was beyond embarrassed. "Oh." She said. I felt like I just blew it. She probably thought I was a loser. "Me too, well with guys that is." I froze for a moment. Did Kat just really admit to having sex with a female? Before I could actually respond to her, she was already off the couch and heading towards the kitchen.
Being here for a week, I knew I was bound to have fun. Kat was an outgoing, sporty girl. I honestly couldn't see her being with another girl, but I also couldn't see myself with one either.
Kat returned with a glass of wine and two cups. She poured them both and then handed me one. "Cheers, to best friends." She smiled. Before I knew it, the bottle of wine was gone. But it was mainly Kat who had finished up the bottle. Knowing she was quite faded, I led her upstairs onto her bed. I went to turn around and head for the guestroom when I felt an arm grab my shirt, "Don't go, please." Kat said. "I think you need your sleep." I replied. "No, please. Lay here, let's have a deep talk, I have things on my mind." I guess Kat wasn't as drunk as I thought she was. I didn't know much about alcohol, except I didn't like it much. I went into the guestroom and changed into sleeping wear. I put on a white, silky thong and a nightgown. I headed back into the room with Kat. She was already sprawled across the bed sleeping. I couldn't get over how cute she looked, she looked quite peaceful. Oddly, I was slightly disappointed. Confused and unsatisfied, I headed back to the guest room.
That night I wondered if maybe I could have feelings for Kat. Perhaps it was just lust, it had been so long since I'd been with someone. Maybe I craved attention. Whatever it was, would be solved in the morning.
I awoke to a cute face - Kat's. She awoke me to inform me that she had made us both breakfast. So I got up and went downstairs.
"Jeez, last night was great, wasn't it?" She said. "Yeah, it was pretty fun. Do you remember passing out?" "Nope, but I somehow woke up in my bed." she said. "I carried you, dear." I smirked. "Really? Damn, you must be strong. I didn't think anyone could carry a girl like me." She said. "Why do you say that? You have a nice body, actually you have a great body." I emphasized the word 'great' a little too much. She turned around and gave me a flirty smile. "Well, thanks."
After breakfast we both got showered and dressed and headed out for a day around town. Kat showed me her favorite restaurants and shops. We headed towards the mall around 6pm. Kat said she had a few things she wanted to pick up.
"I hope you don't feel uncomfortable, so feel free to stay outside if you do." Kat said. "What? I don't understand..I.." But before I could finish, I realized what she meant. We were standing outside a sex toy store at the mall. I couldn't see much of what was inside, but I heard rap music playing. "I just needed to get something, so if you wanted to sta-" But I cut her off, "No, I'd like to go in. Maybe I'll see something I like." I smiled, but barely. Going into this, I assured myself she was straight, why else would she want sex toys? Unless, they were for her own self pleasure. Just imagining Kat spread across a bed nude, gave me a hot feeling in between my legs. What the fuck was going on with me? Why was I so attracted to this girl?
Anyways, entering the store I found Kat leading me to an isle of vibrators and strap-ons. Kat looked at me with red cheeks, you could tell she was embarrassed. "Uhm, I guess I'll explain later?" She said. "No, I understand. I'll buy one too." We both spent about five minutes looking at vibrators until we both decide on which one we liked. After checking out, the car ride to Kat's was a bit awkward.
When we got home, we both went to our separate rooms. I was quite upset with myself. I mean, what if I did like Kat? I wasn't staying much longer, so if something was going to happen between us, it needed to happen.
I sat there thinking for a good hour. I decided, maybe I should talk to Kat about my growing feelings for her. The worst that could happen was she'd tell me she didn't feel the same, and ask I leave the subject alone. Although I dreaded leaving her in the first place, I just kind of wanted to snuggle up against her feeling her body heat. I wanted her touch on me again, like the night before. Dammit, I wanted those soft, wet lips on mine.
Without thinking I got up and without knocking I opened Kat's door. I was astonished when I saw her under the covers, with her hand down below. Quickly she scrambled to hide what I had just seen. "Go, Lily! Oh gosh. I'm so embarrassed. Please, just go." I froze for a moment, collecting what just happened. "Kat, I need to talk to you." I said. My voice was a bit shaky, I was so nervous. "I can see right now isn't a good time, so tonight after dinner. Okay?" I was trying to be reasonable so I could get her at a time where she was more comfortable. "Oh, uhm, okay. Again, I'm so sorry, it's just.." she lost what she was saying. I didn't want to hear anymore honestly. I just wanted to sort out my thoughts before I made any rational decisions.
That night, Kat made a simple Chinese dinner. She never once mentioned how good of a cook she was through chat or Skype. But I guess that was fair considering I never mentioned how much I sucked at riding a bike.
Dinner went by quickly, but I noticed Kat wore quite an "easy access" outfit. Her skirt was quite short- like the rest, she wore a small V-neck t-shirt with a pink laced bra. I could only see the bra because of how white the tank-top happened to be. "Kat, you're such a fantastic cook." I said, breaking the silence. "Oh, thanks. My mom always use to work late, so as a kid I was responsible for making dinner. I guess I just remember most of the recipes." I guess I had taken her mind off the earlier events because she seemed quite more relaxed than usual. "Tell me, have you ever thought about moving out of the city?" I asked. "Hm, no. I really love it here, especially the house. I would really want to raise a family here, but it's just.." she stopped. "It's just what?" I said. She seemed hurt by her own words. "Nothing. You done eating?" I guess my plate was about gone, so I just said, "Yes. But anyways, you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine. Can we drop it? Anyways, how about another movie? Except this time can we watch it upstairs in my room, my back hurts?" I noticed how she completely changed the subject, she was good at that. I didn't want to respect her, so again I agreed.
I offered to clean the kitchen, so Kat just headed upstairs. I wondered why the thought of having a family upset her. Maybe she was just as lonely as I was, or had lost someone close to her in the past. I really wanted to find out more about her personal life, but I hated seeing her upset, it killed me.
Before going into Kat's room, I went into mine. I changed into some black shorts and a tank-top. I carefully opened the door to Kat's room where I saw her sorting through a small box of movies. She must have noticed I was being more cautious this time because she said, "Get in here, I know better than to touch myself with you in this house now." She joked with me. The thought of her touching herself earlier filled my mind, although I couldn't see anything, the thought of her soft hands between those long legs. I got lost for a moment. "Lily?" Kat said. "Sorry. So we've been putting a lot of talking off lately, I think it's about time we chat." "Yeah, I think you're right. Here, sit on the bed and I'll be there in a moment."
I got nervous. What was going to happen? What if I said the wrong thing? Kat meant to much to me, I couldn't imagine living without her. I wasn't even sure what I was going to do when I left back home for New York.
Kat sat down on the bed. "Okay, so I'm sorry if I've acted weird or upset you since you've been here. I'll be straight up now, it's just I'm usually an introvert when it comes to ... love." She croaked. "Well Kat, you know I'd never do anything to hurt you nor would i ever judge you. You're my best friend and you mean everything to me. I want you to know that you're a great girl and over these past two days I-" I then froze, again. I couldn't bring myself to tell her how I felt. "Lily, you what?" She said. Her brown eyes looked lovingly into mine. She got much closer. I would have melted right there if she had kissed me, but instead she gave me a hug. A tear rolled down my cheek. I was so confused, did I care for this girl? I must have if I was crying over the fact I couldn't even tell her I MIGHT have strong feelings for her.
Before I could say anything more, Kat said "You know you can tell me anything." Her voice was so calming and sweet. I could honestly fall asleep to it, I hoped one day I'd get the chance to do so.
"Well, you see. When I first got here, I just felt my heart skip a beat. Your eyes just made me feel so warm inside. Your sweet smile, beautiful. That body, damn that body. And to top it off, just being around you made me feel so complete." After I finished, I made eye contact with her again. Her eyes were filled with sorrow. What had I done wrong? That was it, I scared her away. Now she'd want nothing to do with me.
"Oh Kat, I'm sorry. I knew I shouldn't have told you. I'll leave, I am beyond sorry." But before I could get up, she pushed me back down. "No, don't go. I'll explain." I sat there for a moment, I was beginning to feel weird.
"You see, babe, when I was younger I'd always find myself attracted more to girls than guys. At first I didn't find it a big deal, until highschool of course. All my friends would be out with their dates on Friday, and I'd be home alone. It wasn't until my first year of college that I met this girl named Alice. We got really close and she helped me discover my sexuality. Turns out, she only wanted me for sex. Ever since then I told myself I'd just be alone, forever. I know I'm quite young, but the pain she left me, I don't even want to feel again." She began to fight back tears as she finished her sentence. I had never had strong feeling for anyone besides Kat, and just the thought of her leaving me, killed me inside- and she wasn't even mine yet. I took her into my arms and said, "Oh Kat. I would never hurt you. I just want you happy and if your happiness isn't to be found with me, I understand." Although I wanted her, I had to do what was best for her. "That's just it though." She said. I was a bit confused. "Ever since I put my eyes on you, all those feelings rushed back into me. I can barely contain myself around you. I just want you, every bit of you. My heart aches for you, dear." With those words, my heart stopped hurting and began to flutter. I had never had someone say such kind words to me. I also had never had the feeling of someone truly caring for me. I said to her, "Kat, I want to try something. If you don't like it, just tell me and we'll continue the rest of the night normally." I was being brave even if I shouldn't of been. Kat had already stopped her tears and returned to normal when she said, "But what if I do like it..?" I felt as if she'd already caught on, but I went for it anyways.
Without thought, I reached out one of my hands and cupped her face. I gently pulled it closer to mine, and without a second thought I kissed her. It wasn't a fierce kiss, nor a passionate one. But instead it was gentle and sweet. I had never kissed another female before, but after that I knew I wanted much more than kissing. It was obvious that neither of us wanted the kiss to end. It turned from what was a simple kiss, to a romantic french kiss. Finally when the kiss ended, we both looked at eachother in pure happiness. "Kat, I know you've been hurt." I whispered. "And Lily, I know you've never been with a woman before." she said. I knew she wouldn't put me into anything I didn't want. "Kat, just kiss me." And so she did.
