Delilah's Dreams

Chapter 1

I raise my hand and hesitate, thinking, "Why bother? Every time the answer's the same." I shake my head and fight back the tears. The late evening breeze reinforces how cold I feel. Emotionally detached, I shudder and watch my hand rap on the door before me.

A dog barks within. The porch light comes on and a sharp command is issued. The dog quiets. A chain slides and the door opens about a foot. Standing in the opening on one leg while the other holds back a large German Shepherd, a thin, neatly dressed blond in her mid thirties addresses me, her eyes curious. "Yes?"

Shivering, my voices trembles. "Have you seen Julie?"

Though confused, the woman's expression is kind. "Julie? Julie who, dear?"

The tone in her voice leaves me feeling self-conscious. I look down. My shoes are dirty. So are my pants and my coat is torn and stained. It's been a long time. "Julie, uh, Julie Paris. She's..." My voice trails off as I see pity filter into her expression.

The dog barks again and she looks at me that way; the way they always do when they realize. This time there is no command. "I'm sorry, dear. I don't know her." She looks at the growling muzzle alongside her leg and moves in an effort to secure her house.

Still distant, my hand thrusts toward the narrowing crevice and my voice bounces off the closing door. "Please! I'm Delilah! If you find her...tell her I'm..." It's too late. I hug myself and whisper to no one, "Tell her I'm looking for her."

The tears come as the chain slides and the Shepherd barks, uninterrupted. I stand in the small circle of light and look around at the unending landscape of homes. The light turns off and I'm alone...

..."Julie?" I ask softly as my eyes open. I look around my bedroom and heave a sigh. I'm by myself in bed and it's 1:15 pm. "Fuck," I groan, roll over and bury my face in a pillow.

***

"Yeah, pretty much every day." I mutter while noting the time. A retro Baby Ben clock tells me it's 2:48 pm.

"And it's always the same?" Jean asks.

I look at my therapist. "No, I mean, it always ends the same, but the neighborhoods are different, the people and houses are different, but yeah, I can never find her."

"And how long has it been since you last saw her?" Jean's inquiry prompts an answer that shocks me.

I reply in disbelief. "Eleven years. Hard to believe, but yeah, I've been having that dream all this time.

"Why did the relationship end?"

"I had just gotten out of the service. I have PTSD and it was real bad back then. I couldn't be trusted to live with anyone and I couldn't function enough to work to support myself. We didn't have money and we didn't have insurance. I was twenty-two and desperately needed help, so I moved back to the Northeast where I had family. I didn't have a choice." Tears run down my face as I look to my left out the window at birds in a nearby tree. I watch them take flight and land. And I wonder if they ever miss their mates.

Jean asks in a tender voice, "Delilah, have you tried looking for her online? You know, Facebook and other social media platforms? There are even paid services that will help you find her."

I dry my cheeks and face her. "I have looked online, at least on social media. I don't see her anywhere and I feel that if she wanted to be found I would have by now. And that makes me question the use of a paid service. I feel it would be intrusive. So I dream..." I mumble the last sentence and look at the clock again; 2:50 pm.

There's a moment's hesitation, then Jean speaks. "Delilah, I'm afraid that's our time for today."

Her face is glowing with empathy. She cares and it shows. "Okay," I concede. "Do it again next week?" I force a smile.

"Yes, Tuesday at 2 pm." Jean gives me a hug and adds, "Take care of yourself."

I squeeze her tight. "Thank you, Jean. You too."

***

"Oh no," I think. "I'm doing it again." I just stopped talking mid-sentence and Penny is staring at me. This 5'9" tall, strawberry blonde goddess is smiling patiently. Meanwhile, children scream and laugh on a playscape across the park.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't-" I cringe. The autumn breeze picks up and I tighten the sweater draped over my shoulders.

"Delilah, it's okay. I'm your friend and I love you. I know this has been weighing heavy on you, so talk about whatever you need to."

Staring at the red, yellow and orange leaves covering the fading green grass, I shift my bottom, suddenly aware of the unforgiving wooden slats that make up the bench's seat. I briefly look at Penny, who is smiling patiently again, sigh heavily and speak to the leaves. "I loved her. And she loved me. She's the only person I ever wanted to marry. But..."

Penny takes my hand and joins me in looking at the leaves. We breathe in unison until finally, her voice breaks the strained silence. "How did you meet?"

I turn to the protective canopy of oak branches overhead and swallow hard. "We were in the military and worked in the same building. She was an instructor and I was a technician. Her husband, Richard, worked in my shop, so I would see Julie often - though we never said much more than hello. I hadn't dated in a long time and I was infatuated with her. When she was near I would get clumsy, stumble and stutter, so I tried to avoid her as much as possible. After a few years her and Richard divorced. Weeks later we started talking and eventually went on our first date..." Penny squeezes my hand while above, a chickadee calls its mate and a squirrel prepares its nest for winter.

Penny's voice grows distant. "And how did the date go?..."

..."Thank you for dinner." Julie says in that husky voice; the one that makes her sound painfully shy and belies her slender, shapely body. "Next time it's on me."

I park and look to my right. She's looking down and smiling. "I like the idea of a next time." She faces me and I'm grinning. Beneath diffuse, distant streetlights we kiss, passionately though briefly, then exit the car and hurriedly walk hand in hand into her house.

The door shuts and we are nose to nose in the dim light of her living room. The woman standing before me is my height, about 5' 7", with ample breasts and rounded hips atop shapely but thin legs; like those of a fawn. Julie looks in my hazel eyes, brushes blond hair from my face and kisses me on the neck, just below my earlobe. I gasp, softly, and tilt my head, inviting more. She continues and I can feel and hear her hot breath caress me as her lips send rivers of electricity through my body.

Now she is kissing my lips, forcefully inserting her tongue as I squeeze her bottom through her jeans. With an arm around my back and a hand on the back of my head, Julie holds me tightly and we continue our kiss. Breasts pressed together and high heels clicking, we shuffle awkwardly toward the couch.

Pulling away, Julie lifts off my tank dress and I am suddenly half naked and fully self-conscious. Until that moment I forgot that I wore a peach colored bra, panty and garter belt for tonight's date. Julie's brown eyes devour my slim, athletic body and long legs wrapped in cuban stockings. Placing the palm of her hand between my breasts, she pushes softly and I fall backwards, onto the couch. She removes her jeans - revealing pink silk side-tie panties - and without hesitation straddles my thighs, takes off her blouse and both of our bras, wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me deeply, longingly. I grab her ass and pull her against my stomach. She rocks her hips and her tongue explores my mouth.

Julie's kisses are invasive, powerful and consuming. Time decelerates and I lose myself in her passionate embrace. My moans fill her mouth. I open wider to allow deeper penetration and she obliges. Her nails scratch across my back causing me to shiver, while her tongue continues to probe deeper and more passionately. Then she is gone. My thighs lift off the couch and my body spins 90°. I am lying lengthwise on my back and my head is placed gently on a cushion. She is above me now, looking through me. Our breasts are touching. Her thighs are between mine, held against my warmth.

"Take me," I beg those eyes. "Please."

Softly, Julie brushes my lips with hers, then lifts her face before I can kiss her. She teases me this way for a long minute; until I guide her downward. She slowly kisses her way between my breasts. Her hands follow and squeeze my sensitive mounds, but avoid my erect nipples. I breathe faster and arch my back. I moan softly, but my body screams for attention. The kneading continues while her kisses descend to my pubic mound. Slowly, she removes my panties and I feel a cool rush against my labia. Her arms encircle my upper thighs from beneath and I feel heat on my wetness. Looking down, I see Julie staring at me from between my thighs, her hot breath on my sex.

"Please." I whisper.

She smiles and runs her fingertips around my sensitive lower stomach and through the light hair that makes up my landing strip. I grab her brunette locks, raise my hips and gently move her toward my aching sex, but Julie reaches up and tickles my ribs, causing me to let go. Laughing, she wrestles my hands above my head and holds them tightly while pinning my legs open with hers.

She's looking through me again. "Tonight, you belong to me," she commands.

"Yes." I beg. I don't have a choice. I don't care.

I need her kiss, her touch. I lift my head as far as I can, but I'm denied. Instead, she bites my neck and firmly forces me back down, growling while I moan. Still holding me down with her hands, Julie pivots 180° and pins my arms beneath her shins. Her sex is behind a layer of silk just a few inches above my face and I can smell her excitement. I need her.

"You're going to please me." Julie dictates and unties her panties.

"Please!" I implore.

She lowers herself onto my face. Her glistening lips unfold as I kiss and lick, suck and nibble. I move slowly around her outer labia, letting her dew cover me. She carefully leans forward and parts my legs, resting her forearms against my inner thighs to keep them spread. Another rush of cool air reveals the moisture between my cheeks.

I moan loudly and lose myself in Julie's tender flesh, sliding lips, nose and tongue between her exposed button and dripping opening. Simultaneously, she licks my sex, starting near the top, just below my clitoris, and ending at my entrance. Groaning loudly, I lift and grind my hips in an effort to encourage entry, but she is coy and pays attention instead to my swollen lips, sucking and kissing them, while deliberately avoiding my straining nub. Her touch is soft and insistent; not enough for climax, but too much to ignore. Trapped beneath her, I can only writhe and swim in her essence.

I run my tongue and lips up and down Julie's trough in enthusiastic fervor. By now she's rocking her hips to assist my effort. Her juices flow, her movements become spasmodic and I know she's close. She shakes when I stick my tongue in her and muffled groans escape my pussy. Then her body stiffens and a loud grunt signals the start of a climax. Losing control of her body, she bucks and cries out. Hands now free, I hold her tightly against me and revel in her release as her soft cries fade to satisfied whimpers.

Her ragged breathing slows and she gradually relaxes onto me. After a long, satisfied sigh, Julie turns and lies beside me. Wrapped in each others arms, I rest my cheek upon her breasts, take a nipple in my mouth, gently suckle and fall asleep.

In time I awake, feeling rested; and aroused. Opening my eyes, I see her in the dim light. She is kissing and nuzzling my breasts and tenderly tugging my nipples with soft, pouting lips. I sigh and Julie smiles at me.

"Good morning, beautiful," she whispers. Then, using her lower lip and upper incisors, she gently grabs my left nipple and scrapes her teeth across it, sending shockwaves to my slumbering sex. She does this to the other side with the same results. Slowly, she kisses her way along my ribs, intermingling love bites and growls. I yelp and giggle. When she reaches my hips, she raises up and bites my stomach, growling and shaking the skin back and forth, like an animal. Then she kisses and bites her way back up my other side until she is above me once again.

"I want to taste you, Delilah."

Her words light a fire within me. Julie's lips trace lazy arcs down my stomach. I close my eyes and tangle my fingers in her shoulder length hair, impatiently waiting for-

"Uh!" I cry in surprise as Julie inserts her index finger. I arch my back and spread my legs, and her mouth descends upon my vulva. Flicking my clitoris with her tongue, my wetness spreads. Sensing my eagerness, she inserts a second finger and begins short, circular strokes around my G spot. She continues, unhurried, and I feel a climax building.

"You are so wet, Delilah," she informs.

"Ohmygah..." is all I can mutter. She has me and she knows it.

I release her hair and massage my breasts, paying special attention to my erect, aching nipples. Her licking persists while her fingers slow, but the pressure increases. I spread my legs wider and she notices.

"That's a good girl. Show me your sex. Show me how much you like me inside you."

More than touch, her words are intoxicating and powerful. "I do. Please don't stop," I breathlessly beseech my lover. My hips roll with each stroke. By now I've squeezed my breasts together and I'm pulling hard on my nipples. I'm losing control. Breathing through my words, I beg "Please! Ohgah! Gah, ohgah, aaah!"

Her mouth, her hands and her words are all too much. I'm falling. Pleasure courses through me and I am falling. Tremors take over and I am deaf, blind and overrun by my lover's passion. I fall; and she catches me. When I open my eyes I am in Julie's arms, still shaking, while she rocks and whispers in my ear. "It's all okay, Delilah. You're okay..."

..."Delilah? Are you okay? You've been quiet for a while."

"Uh, yeah," I force myself back to the present. "Just thinking."