Sometimes you just feel safe with someone, even when they're a stranger. That's the way I felt about Kristen. She wasn't a total stranger. She was the R.A. on my floor, but we rarely spoke to one another, except when it was in groups. She carried herself like a real grown-up. I thought she was really beautiful. She looked like the kind of girls in my school that I had secret crushes on. She looked like she'd spent a lot of time out of doors and rode horses. She was tall, with long brown hair, fair skin. My parents would've called her WASP-y, which she was. She wore boots a lot; knee length black boots over jeans and this really cool suede jacket. I wanted to be her friend, but I was also attracted to her. It was something I couldn't fight anymore, my attraction to girls, especially after I hooked up with this girl in my high school right after graduation. We worked at this really lame clothing store in our town and even though we barely knew each other at school. We bonded over our hatred of our jobs and our bitchy manager.
Jill's parents were psychologists and they were never home. We would go to her place after work and drink cocktails (her parents had a well-stocked liquor cabinet and they were the type to trust their daughter with anything). One night, when her parents her away, Jill just came right out and said that she was attracted to me. I always thought she was hot. She always wore these short mini-skirts to work that showed off her legs. And she had beautiful wavy brown hair that went down to her shoulders. She was a really sweet girl, but never in my wildest dreams did I think that something could happen between us. She told me that she'd been with a couple of girls before. We started making out in the living room after having a couple of Vodka tonics. Then we made out in her bed and then took a shower together. Then we got naked under the covers and kissed and explored each other for hours. She had the most beautiful breasts and it felt so hot when I caressed them and kissed them and sucked on them. It was heaven. Finally, I got up the courage to finger her pussy. She was so wet down there and within a couple of minutes she was coming. Then she did me. It felt so amazing. I didn't want it to stop. And it felt so nice to sleep in the same bed with her. We cuddled up together, waking up and making out and falling asleep again. We had sex again in the morning and was even hotter than the first time.
But the summer was almost over. Jill was going to a small college in the Midwest and I was going to a school upstate, so we didn't have much time left. We hooked up only one more time before she left. We spent the day at her parent's summer home at the beach over Labor Day. And her parents were always around that weekend. It was driving us crazy. Finally after dinner on the last night, we took a walk along the beach and put down a blanket in a dune where no one could see us and had sex for the second and last time. We promised to email and call each other, but by the end of the first semester of school, we were talking and writing less and less. And I started dating this guy who was nice, but he was too immature. I couldn't stand his friends. Then I saw Jill during the Winter break and she told me that she had a girlfriend at school. It wasn't like I was going to see much of her anyway; she and her family went to Europe every year over the holidays. So I felt very lonely when I got back to school after the break. And I resolved to meet someone, or at least make friends with someone cool. So I set my sights on Kristen.
The semester was going by very fast. I spent a lot of time with my roommate and made a lot of new friends. I was happy, but I felt that my crush was slipping away. I would see her in the hallway every other day, but I was shy around her, even though she always said "Hello," and gave me a warm smile. Her smile killed me. It was so warm and made me feel so good; that if I was her friend, I would be safe in a way that I wasn't, and if I became her lover, I would know happiness. I began to walk past her door every chance I got, which wasn't often, since I lived on the opposite wing of the floor. I usually went by at night, sometimes wearing nothing more than a baby T-shirt and men's boxer shorts or sweats. I loved to walk barefoot or in sandals, even when it was cold out and I noticed that she did as well. One night, really late, I saw a really tall, beautiful blonde girl leave her room. It was about 1:30 in the morning, I'd been up studying and I needed some caffeine. I walked past her room, with no expectation of actually seeing her. When I saw this girl open the door and leave, I immediately sensed that something was up. The girl walked past me and smiled, her hair was a little messed, like she had bed head, and she was wearing fresh makeup. She was really sexy, and she walked with a spring in her step as she'd just had an amazing time with someone. I knew immediately that she and Kristen were lovers. Somehow everything made sense at that moment. So the next day, when I walked into the study lounge at the other side of the floor and saw Kristen in there, that I had to act.
She was lying on a couch with her feet up when I entered the room. I sat down and started reading a book. She seemed completely oblivious to my presence in the room. She didn't take her eyes off the book, but then she put the book down and sat up. And that's when she noticed me and smiled. "Hi," she said.
"Hi," I said.
She put her feet up on the table. They looked nice and strong.
"You have pretty feet," I said.
She smiled again. "Thank you," she said. "So do you."
We went back to what we were doing and then she said that she was going into town to the cafe and invited me. I said yes, of course, and we spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know each other. At the cafe I told her about my ex-boyfriends. She seemed very interested, but I was afraid to tell her about Jill I didn't know how she'd react, even though I knew that she slept with girls. I didn't think that she had a girlfriend, but I wasn't sure. I figured that it was best to wait and see.
The next few weeks were a blur. We saw so much of each other. One day, when I was in the gym, about to go on a treadmill, I saw her go downstairs to the pool. The next day I bought a new bathing suit and joined her. She was a really good swimmer. It was a turn on to see her in the pool. She had a great, athletic body. The best part was after we swam. We sat on the lounge chairs and talked and flirted. Then we'd get a drink or some coffee before running to class. I kept waiting for the moment to tell how I really felt about her. By that time Spring Break was approaching and I was going to Florida with my parents. I wanted to say something to her before I left.
A couple of days before the break, we went swimming and had a drink and were walking back. It was freezing out and I noticed that she didn't have any gloves on. We took a shortcut up a hill across from the gym and Kristen put her arm around me and squeezed. I put my arm around her and when we reached the top of the hill my heart was beating really fast. We stopped walking and I rubbed her freezing hands. She told me that it felt good. Then she told me that she was going to miss me over the break. She seemed as nervous as I was. She said I seemed distracted She asked me if there was anything my mind. So I asked her.
"I was just curious," I said.
"About what?" She asked
"You never asked me if I'd kissed a girl."
"Well, I wanted to ask you"
"Have you?"
I got really nervous at that moment. I thought I had just blown it.
"Yes," she said.
"That girl?"
