Death Bed

"I DO love you!" I pleaded, "If I didn't then this wouldn't be a big deal to me!" I said as I grabbed Lisa's hand with the passion that surged through my soul.

"Why do you always have to bring it up when we are having a good time?" Why can't we just be happy together?!" She asked.

How could anyone ask that question in our situation and mean it?

I flashed her a hurt look, stomped into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Happy? Together?

How could we possibly be happy together? I admit, we... well... I think she does too, enjoy each other's company, go on romantic dates, and after work I like nothing more than to rush home to be with her; but happy was far from what I would describe our lives together.

I sat on the bed and lied back to study the ceiling. I obsessively counted many of the daggers of plaster that hung from it, subconsciously wishing that one would loosen, (and actually be strong enough for some damage) and hit me right in the heart.

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That's how old I am, 29. I thought that my sexual peek peeked back when I was 18, but just as everyone said it would happen, (and when it would happen) it did; now.

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I think that I feel like a teenage boy, I'm aroused upon sun up almost every morning. I'd catch myself following lovely asses as they walk by when I'm out with Lisa, as they walk by my office, as they walk by on my television screen; if there was a lovely ass walking by, I saw it.

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33, Lisa; I felt the sting in my eyes right before the tears gathered into them. When we are apart, almost anything that reminds me of her hurts. She is just so beautiful! We've been together for 9 and 87th percent of a year and I cherish the fascination that I still have for her. She perfected as she aged, even more beautiful than the day that I met her, not in a shallow way, she was beautiful all the way through. I've come to truly appreciate the volumetrics of her.

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It was already 4:00, we only had an hour to get dressed and to our dinner reservation. My mom set it up for us a week before; apparently that little visit that Lisa and I had with her parents a couple of weeks ago sparked some curiosity in her mom. I warned Lisa that we should postpone until I was done ovulating, but she insisted, so off we went.

It was just a 30 minute flight from our airport to Lisa's parents' airport. When we landed I got my and Lisa's carry-ons and lead her off of the plane and to the escalator. I walked ahead of her down the escalator.

I always walked ahead of her going downstairs and behind her going upstairs. I always opened doors for her and pulled her chair out and pushed it in for her. I carried all of the bags (if I physically could) without her assistance. When we first started dating she complained about it, but she had grown used to it by the first six or seven months.

We got off of the escalator and were greeted by her mom and dad.

"HI HONIES!" her mom squealed with her arms opened wide.

"Hi Mom," we both said at the same time.

"Oh look at you two," her dad exclaimed "you guys are trying to catch up to me and your mother; what is it honey? Almost 10 years now?" he asked as he put his arm around Lisa and kissed her head.

"Yes daddy, 9 years and 75 percent of a year as Kendra would say," she giggled and I nudged her in the ribs for poking fun at me.

He turned and looked at me "So what is it? You guys trying to take our belt? Dethrone us from our title?" He asked with a serious face.

I smiled and was about to respond but Lisa jumped in. "I hope so daddy," Lisa said peering over her shoulder at me.

We got in their car and they drove us to what I thought would be their house, but it looked more like the mall.

"Ok girls, just a little pit stop before we head back, I have to get your dad some new slacks."

Lisa and I reluctantly got out of the car and followed her parents into the mall.

Lisa sat on the bench pulled out her phone and I sat next to her.

And then it hit me like I knew it would. I saw them, the mall was swarming with them, they walked by me, they bent over; they stood there in all of their glory. I tried to snap out of it but I couldn't. I felt myself growing wet. I squirmed in my seat; I could feel Lisa's eyes burning into me as I tried to control the squirm and my gaze.

"Hi Honies!" I was saved, or so I thought as Lisa's mom and dad walked up to us with a single bag.

"Got the slacks, let's go," she said cheerfully

I got up gratefully and walked next to her mom and Lisa followed with her dad. I didn't dare look at her, but I felt her eyes attempting to tear my soul in two.

I hung my head in shame as I walked to the car.

Then I felt a little breeze as Lisa and her dad ran past us in a race to the car, giggling. Lisa let her dad win, though he was in shape, for his age of 58, he was no match for my long legged beauty.

"So Hun, have you girls made plans for the big 10?" Her mom asked me.

"Umm well Mom, I have BIG plans for us, I just hope that she will be happy with them."

"Of course she will; she absolutely loves you!" Her mom exclaimed. "So can you spare a little detail on these BIG plans?"

I wanted to tell her everything! I wanted to tell her that her daughter hasn't slept with me since our last anniversary almost a year ago and then a year ago before that. I wanted to tell her about the roaring flame inside of me that was consuming my life. I wanted to tell her, someone, anyone, about the pain that I was feeling. I wanted to tell. I wanted to but out of my undying respect for Lisa, I kept it inside. I decided to tell her where I had planned to take her daughter.

"Well Mom," I smiled slyly "first I'm going to pick her up early from..."

I heard the clanking metal first, then my hands shot to my side and I was on the ground, shut my eyes and winced in pain

"Oh I'm so so so so sorry!!" I heard a scared, sweet voice say.

I felt 4 hands on me at once as I was being lifted to my feet. I opened my eyes and saw Lisa sprinting from the car, (her dad trailing her this time). 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 strides it took her to get to me.

"Oh baby! Are you alright?!" She asked as she ran up to me. She lifted up the side of my shirt where I had been hit and it sent a spasm to my loins; I instinctively went in and kissed her lips, she pulled back with a frown and we both turned and looked at the short half Asian half Black woman who was picking up her bike.

"I... I... I'm so ... so sorry... are you ok? I'm going to call mall security so that we can report your injury, it doesn't matter; I'm probably going to get fired sooner or later anyway." She said looking down as she took her phone out of her back pocket.

"NO, it's ok, really." I said as I grabbed the hand with the phone in it. "I'm fine."

"OH thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said as she dropped her bike and gave me a hug. I hugged back, and tightly, I turned my head to her big beautiful curly black hair and inhaled deeply. My hand slid down smoothly to the small of her back and I squeezed a little tighter. She didn't let go, I felt my thigh push a little between her legs and she let out a soft moan. It was loud enough for Lisa's Mom to hear, who had been listening to her Dad argue with Lisa about my decision not to call security. I saw her snap her head to see what the noise was about and her jaw dropped, she saw where my hands were, where my thigh was and how close the girl was holding me. I let go quickly and backed away. Lisa's mother grew angry, but tried to hide it as she told the girl to go about her business, turned and walked to the car. Lisa and her dad were right behind her and I trailed with my head hanging low.

Lisa and her dad hadn't seemed to notice that anything was wrong with her mother, they just chatted the whole way to their house about childhood memories.

The rest of the stay there was awkward, Lisa talked to me but made sure not to ask me how I was feeling again, probably from fear that I would require some physical attention to my bruised side and I would make another move on her. Lisa's mom treated me even nicer than she did before, offering me snacks, asking me how I felt seemingly every hour, and honestly just talking entirely too much. I was beginning to feel overstimulated and Lisa knew it.

Lisa told her Mom that we would be leaving a day early, and without protest, Lisa's mom drove us to the airport the next day and saw us off.

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Please take care of my baby

The words that Lisa's mom whispered to me when she dropped us off.

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I knew that Lisa's mom must have called and told my mom what happened because as soon as we got out of the airport 5 voice messages and 3 text messages popped up on my cell phone from my mom. I listened to the messages all of which essentially said the same thing, "Give me a call" and that's how the dinner reservation was set up.

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Lisa opened the bedroom door.

"I'm sorry baby," I said to her as she entered the closet.

"It's ok; can we just go to this dinner and have a good time tonight?" She asked genuinely

"Yes baby," I said as I hung my head

I felt her smile

I got up, got ready and we were out of there by 4:40

We walked the 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 blocks to the restaurant. She talked the whole way there about work. I tried to listen to her the best that I could but my mind was elsewhere, the same place that it usually was.

We got to the restaurant and I held the door open for her. We were greeted by the hostess and she led us to our reserved corner table in the back of the restaurant. We were the only ones back there and the lighting was dim. I gestured for Lisa to take the seat on the inside and I sat next to her.

Our waitress was beautiful, I didn't hear a word she said, I only saw her, I completely undressed her with my eyes and suddenly I felt something beaming on the side of my head that snapped me out of my gawking. I turned to see Lisa staring furiously at me; she peered deeply into my eyes and was beyond angry.

I hung my head and asked the waitress to repeat herself.

"Sure," I heard her smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. I didn't look up at her.

She introduced herself and took our drink order. I ordered wine in the hopes that Lisa would also order a real drink and get a little buzzed, but she ordered a cranberry juice with no ice. The waitress said that she'd be right back with our drinks and I turned and looked at Lisa. Her eyes were teary but she didn't let them fall. I said nothing.

The waitress returned with my wine and her juice.

"On second though" I said looking up at her "I'll have a vodka straight with no ice and a few raspberries, and a glass of water" I realized that I was looking at her and quickly looking back down.

"No problem sweetie; I'll be right back with that, anything else for you ma'am?" She turned to Lisa smiling genuinely. Lisa didn't say anything she didn't even look at her. "No," I said, "thank you," I said trying to smile.

"Ok then," she smiled and disappeared into the next room.

"I'm sorry Lisa baby," I said as I touched her hand.

"Sorry for what?" She cut back sharply.

"I'm sorry that...for... what... how... I looked at that waitress."

"I don't know what you are talking about," Lisa said coldly and picked up her menu and began reading it, not a tear in sight.

"So are you lovely ladies ready to order ," The waitress said as the placed my drink on the table

I searched for my menu on the table, picked it up and knocked over the glass of wine. It spilled on my slacks and was making its way over to Lisa's side of the table. I sacrificed my napkin to assure that none of the wine would spill on her white blouse or on her skirt. "I'm sorry," I said. The waitress smiled "It's ok," she reached behind her back and pulled a napkin from her belt and began patting and wiping my lap. I sat back and breathed in deeply as I noticed that her slightly cleavaged breast were half of an inch from my nose and mouth. She smelled of faint saliva and perfume and I knew that someone had been licking and sucking on her flesh sometime today. It was probably only for a half of a second, but for me it was if I had taken her whole breast into my mouth myself; a shiver ran up my spine.

I grabbed Lisa's thigh under the table cloth and squeezed hard. I couldn't help, it. "That'll be enough!" Lisa said loudly to the waitress. She backed up and nodded grabbed the glass and went to refill my wine. I could no longer contain my urges, my hand forced itself into the black band of Lisa's skirt and my fingers found her. She grabbed my arm, I barely noticed. All I could think about was where my fingers were; she wasn't wet but I didn't care. I heard a gasp of pain as I pushed my long finger into her; she let go of my arm. I was too ashamed to look at her face but I knew that she was shedding tears as they hit the arm of my blouse, 1 2 3 4. The waitress came back with my wine and put it on the table. I could tell that she wanted to ask about us ordering but she saw Lisa crying and said that she'd give us a few more minutes to look over the menu. As soon as she turned to leave I pushed my finger deeper inside of her and moved it in and out a few times before she grabbed my arm again under the table and pinched me. I pulled out of her in pain and turned and grabbed my purse with enough care not to ruin my newly prized finger and rushed out of the restaurant.

I didn't bother pay, I'm sure the waitress would tell her that the bill was already taken care of. She'd probably leave the restaurant and walk around until she concluded that it's been long enough, and come home; that's how she always handled things.

Once I was out side of the restaurant, I slung my purse over my shoulder took of my shoes and ran the 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 blocks home.

A man coming out of my building noticed that I was crying and stopped me to ask if I was alright, I nodded and brushed past him, no patience to wait for the elevator. I ran upstairs and opened the door, let its weight and automatic lock take care of itself, dropped my shoes and my purse and hurried to the bedroom. I put my prized finger to my nose and inhaled deeply. Oh how I've missed the scent of her. I used to get it from her panties but she stopped wearing them after she walked in on me wearing them as I was climaxing with my fingers between my legs. What was I to do?

I carefully took my black slacks and panties off in one slide, my finger of gold sticking out of the way while my other fingers did the work. Finally, I plopped on the bed and sniffed it for the last time as I knew that I was about to ruin it forever. I caressed my breast with the other hand and I slide the finger inside of myself. The waitress, Lisa's scent and my ovulation made me so wet that the one finger wasn't enough. I didn't want to ruin the thought of it really being Lisa inside of me by adding another finger so I curled the one and found my g spot. I imagined that it was Lisa's finger, it felt so good. My emotions were taking control of me, I felt my hips begin to move into my hand and my palm rubbed my clit as I circled my "Lisa finger" in and almost out of myself. I came the hardest that I've come in a long time, my pussy swelled around my finger and tears fell fast to my ears, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14. I screamed out her name turned to my side to ride out my climax.

I sobbed myself to sleep.

I woke up to the slam of the front door. I was still laying there half naked and knew that there would be problems if I got caught like that. 7:39; a quick glance at the clock. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, closed the door, turned on the shower and jumped in, with my blouse still on.

"I'm home," I heard Lisa call.

She always did this, every time! She'd always act as if nothing happened! Although my actions were unforgivable and would ignite fury in almost anyone, she acted as if all was well just to avoid the topic of sex. I played along.

"Ok baby, when I get out can we talk?" I asked optimistically.

"Well when are you getting out... I'm really tired Kendra, can we talk tomorrow?"

I thought about it, I knew that we wouldn't really talk tomorrow; I knew that she was postponing it as long as she possible could just like she always did. Even though I hadn't washed the smell of sex off of myself, I turned off the water. I listed for Lisa to sigh, but she didn't. I took off my blouse grabbed a towel and wrapped myself into it.

I walked out of the bathroom door and saw that she was sitting down on the bed in her pajamas already. 1 2 3 4 5 ...34 I began counting the red hearts on pink her pajamas until I realized that I already knew how many there were.

It had gotten dark outside and she had turned on the lamp on my night stand.

I dropped my towel, walked over 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 steps, and knelt down in front of her. I placed my head on her lap.

"You didn't wash your hair?"

"Lisa, I'm so sorry for what I did to you in the restaurant," I began to tear up "I don't know what came over me."

"You're ovulating," Lisa said emotionlessly.

"But Lisa, I have, well I thought that I had self -control, something is happening to me, I'm becoming a monster. A raging sex addict or something."

"You're not a sex addict."

"I think about sex all of the time Lisa!"

She shifted uncomfortably and I lifted my head to look her into the eyes.

"My mind is foggy; I can barely concentrate on anything without turning it into something sexual! I feel like a pervert!"

"You're not a pervert Kendra, it's just been a long time for you, for us; un...unless you've been with someone else?"

"NO, never Lisa! You are the love of my LIFE" I would never do anything like that to break your heart, I'd die if I ever really hurt you!"

A look of relief captured her face "Ok then," and with that she turned and got into bed.

That was it.

She got what she wanted to know out of me and left me confused once again.

I sighed, and got into bed next to her and turned on my side facing away from her. I turned off my lamp and started quietly sobbing into my hands until I fell asleep.

"Oh... yes... right there ... I'm going to come!" I heard faintly in my sleep, I woke up on my back to an orgasm and my hips gyrating up and down on nothing. I realized that the words had come from my mouth as warm fluid began to soak into the bed under my ass.

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock, it was 11:10 I turned my head and saw Lisa sitting up starting angrily at me.

"I... I'm sor." I began. Lisa reeled her hand back and slapped my left cheek hard. I shut my eyes and screamed in pain. She jumped from the bed and left the bedroom. I jumped up after her.

"I'm sorry Lisa!! I didn't have a wet dream on purpose! How am I to help what my body does when I am sleeping?!"

"It's not just that you had a wet dream Kendra, who is Shelby?!"

"What, what do you mean?"

"WHO IS SHELBY?!" She asked again.

I knew who Shelby was; she was a coworker that I "forgot" to tell Lisa about a few months ago when she was hired.

I put my head down and slumped to the floor beneath her feet.

"She works with me."

"What?! Did you fuck her?!

I didn't respond. She got down on her knees, grabbed my chin and brought my eyes to meet with hers. She was already shedding countless tears down her face.

"Did you fuck her?" She asked again. This time very seriously without the same rage.

"No baby, no I didn't."

She got up and walked back to the bedroom, leaving me a mess on the hallway floor. I got up some time later to find her on her way out of the room. She put the soaked sheets into the hallway clothes bin and grabbed my hand and lead me back to the bedroom. She climbed into the newly made bed and I after her. She didn't touch me and I didn't touch her.