Cumning of Age - Robbie's Pov

April 7, 2010 10PM

I've been thinking about yesterday all day and realized I didn't finish what happened and it's too much to not write. I promised I'd write every day, but nothing important happened today except I was so distracted by what happened yesterday. Shauna just kept shaking her head whenever she saw me looking at her. SHE DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE!!!! And I'm never going to tell her. Or Melissa.

I just can't get the taste of my own pee out of my mouth. No matter how much I wash it, or brush it, or drink anything. I just keep going back...to Greg making me drink my own pee!!!! Maybe if I write about it I'll stop obsessing?

At least Sir let me have a glass of water to get the awful taste out of my mouth, but I remember my stomach was gurgling like I might throw up, and then before I could think, Greg had his cock in front of me and I couldn't ignore it, even though it smelled like me, but by then I just didn't care. Sir had asked me to suck Greg clean, so I did.

And before he let us go to clean the house, Sir made me tell him what I was and when I said 'your cum slut, Sir,' like I just had screamed, he corrected me and that's when I really knew I had become a filthy disgusting whore. 'No' he said, 'you're

a

cum slut, not

my

cum slut.'

And after we were done moving his boxes, he let Greg fuck my face, but not letting me suck his cum down, instead he sprayed it all over me, just to mark me as the slut I had become. And Sir told him he couldn't see me for a month because I was entering some kind of new training cycle and I just wondered how much worse it was going to get. And Greg just said some really stupid and disgusting things and I knew right then I would never date him again. And after he left, Sir sat with me in the front hall, his hands threatening to pinch my nipples even as he was so gentle stroking my breasts and he made me say it over and over again that I was

a

cum slut, not his. And I cried when he asked me about Greg and then he told me how much better I was going to get and that I was just starting something new and he made me feel like he was so proud of me and I couldn't believe how that made me feel in my cunt and I just cried and got dressed and came home.

So that's it. I'm really a cum slut cunt now and I don't know what Sir expects to do with me for the summer. But one thing I'm kinda freaking out about. He told me I couldn't shave anything anymore. Shauna told me it itched like fuck when her hair grew back, and I'm already feeling scratchy under my arms and at my pubes, which is stupid cuz it's only been a few hours. FUCKKKKKK!

April 8, 2010 9PM

So it was kind of a weird day today. I've been worrying about what happened on Tuesday, playing it over and over in my head and knowing I've crossed into some other life. FUCK! Who drinks their own pee? Who does that shit????? But now I can say I do, and I did, and it makes me sick to remember it and I'm so ashamed and I can't tell anyone about it, except CS, and then to kneel and have Greg spray his sperm all over my face!!!! That was it for me. I felt something break I'll never get back. But all of that was on top of what happened with Laura on Monday and she's invited me to come over tomorrow night and I'm so fucking nervous because it's a Friday and who knows what she might have in mind. Even though I asked her, she just answered 'hanging out,' which could mean I'll be hanging out naked for her and whomever else she might have invited. Or maybe I'm just

wishing

that would happen!!! I'm so confused. I didn't commit, cuz Shauna and Melissa suggested something else.

CS was able to chat with me and she could tell I was upset and crying but the more I talked the more she kept saying that it was all normal and 'part of the process' and shit like that. I kept saying over and over again how horrible I felt saying out loud I'm a cum slut cunt!!! But she said that was just a hangup and to not think of it that way. 'What's the big deal?' she said. 'So what if that's the way your Master wants to think of you.' And shit like that. But it isn't Sir I'm worried about. It's me. I'm beginning to think of myself that way. No. I am that way. Every time I think that, and even writing it, makes my

pussy

(fuck, I can't even call it my pussy, it's my

cunt

!!!!) clench and I just get all creamy and wet and loose and I just want to spread my legs in front of the camera and play with myself so he can see how turned on I am at being his cum slut cunt! NO! Not

his

.

A

cum slut cunt. I feel so lost and so turned on. It's not like what Coach does to us. I understand how pushing us physically and getting us over our own mental limits is what makes us better competitors. This is something like that, but not. I can't explain it. And then there's Laura and how easily she's made me do the same thing, even though I haven't told her I'm a cum slut cunt, but stripping naked and letting her touch me was practically the same thing. I still haven't told CS about her. I just can't. It's too intense.

I get over there today, not knowing what to expect and Sir tells me to look at some porn in the kitchen. OMG. It was like looking at the movies he'd had me watch a few weeks ago, but completely different. I fucking couldn't believe the shit they were doing! I had to tell him which one I liked the most and I wanted to lie, but I kept hearing CS's voice and so I just told him the truth, pointing to a woman who was being fucked in her ass and her ■■■■■■■■ cunt and her mouth, hanging. Shit it's making me wet just remembering it and that freaks me out, but I was practically shivering when Sir asked me cuz all I could imagine was him making me do that. And then I remembered Greg's brother's friends and I was almost ready to say my safe word, but he switched things up again and told me to beg him to let me play with myself.

And more mind fucks and head games. He made me call myself the cunt that I've become. I know I felt like I had let go just a couple of days ago, but I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and then I just did it and begged him to let me shove my fingers up my cunt and he wouldn't let me cum even though, staring at that woman and thinking it would be me, made me so fucking horny!!! And just before I was going to cum he yelled at me to stop and go clean the bathrooms. I almost puked when he told me the toilets should be clean enough to drink out of. Gag me. The thought he might punish me that way screwed my stomach up really bad.

And then he told me how great I'd been doing and all I could feel was a need to kneel down and take his cock into my throat, but he wasn't going to let me. FUCK! How can I be so screwed up? One minute I'm angry with him for making me do this shit, the next I want to just let him fuck with me, and the next I want to prove I can be the best fucking cum slut cunt he's ever known! And I'm so wet all the time now. And my hair is starting to itch for reals. It's driving me crazy. I was sitting in Current Events today and my arm pit started to itch and I couldn't scratch it and then I remembered I hadn't shaved there, and then I remembered I'm not supposed to shave anywhere and I started to itch everywhere. My legs and bush and both arm pits. It felt like I was squirming in my chair, but at least I know that's in my imagination, cuz when I asked Shauna if she saw me squirming she looked like I was crazy and then I had to explain it was the hair thing and she just nodded but told me no, she didn't notice anything.

And one other thing. Sir mentioned my being alone in a couple of weeks. Even though he said it like he was baby-sitting me, I know he's scheming to do something. Two full days and nights without my parents. I've been thinking about it all day and I'm so wet right now I'm going to go try and cum for him on my camera.

April 11, 2010 10:00 AM

WHAT DID I

DO LAST NIGHT????? I am so fucked. I'm now officially a lesbian, or at least bi- or whatever, but whatever I am, I'm now officially a prostitute, that's for sure.

The weekend didn't start out so bad, but shit it went

crazy

last night.

So I spent most of Saturday running, practically. Shauna and Melissa and I went out on Friday, even though Laura had asked me to go over there, and they couldn't stop asking me what was up, and I couldn't remember what I'd said, but I told 'em I'd lost it to the college kid and that I was pissed and he was out of my life and so I was kinda glad too. But I could tell they didn't believe me cuz they kept pestering me for details and it got a little gross and I told them that, so they shut up. But I figured out that for all their talk, they haven't done anything like what I've been doing. That made me laugh. I don't know anybody who'd done what I've been doing...except CS.

And when I told Laura I couldn't make it on Friday she got a little pissed or whiny and I got worried that maybe she was going to be trouble, but she apologized and laughed saying how much she really wanted to get together so maybe Saturday would work. She told me her parents had made a huge dinner for her and they weren't going to be home at all so I could come over late in the afternoon and we could figure out what to do when I got there.

It sounded like we were going to party at one of the team's houses. When I got there, her parents had already left. Laura broke open the bar and we downed about three Tequila shots and before I knew it, I was totally wasted! I'd never had that much to drink. My stomach was a little woozy cuz I didn't have anything to eat, but when I looked at the dinner her mom had left, I couldn't begin to eat it. Laura was a little worried about me, and I just said I should have some water and things would be fine. So we moved upstairs to her room and she said how much she'd enjoyed the thing we'd done on Monday, but I never felt it was a 'thing.' And the room was spinning so I just sat on the bed trying to make it stop and hoping I wasn't going to puke. She looked really worried about me but I kept telling her I'd be alright and she started to get undressed saying she was thinking of going to the party after all, and then she stopped when she was down to her underwear and started asking me all sorts of questions about what I was supposed to do for my 'mystery man.' She laughed when she said it, but I was getting a little pissed.

She kept pushing me about whether I liked pain, or just sucking cock, or what, and I finally broke down cuz I could tell she was really interested and wouldn't stop until I told her stuff. So I told her that I hated to be spanked but that the guy spanks me for punishment, that I hated the way he treated my nipples, and he only had done it like that once and I hoped I never had to do it again and that I was probably a submissive because I really really liked doing what he told me to do. I got really quiet when I admitted that, and figured I was pretty far gone, but at least I didn't say anything about the money, or I hope I didn't. At least I didn't feel so sick to my stomach after talking about all that shit.

Anyway, the more I talked about it, the more turned on I got, and the more turned on she was getting. She sat in a chair looking at me, her eyes kind of out of focus and her legs spread open and her panties getting dark between her legs. Her fingers kept rubbing her stomach, but then they'd drift up or down as I talked. And then she asked me the question I had been worrying about all week: 'Will you get undressed for me again?' And I saw how much she wanted it, and I didn't really want it, but I was feeling that thing again rising in my core and I just nodded, but I didn't get up right away cuz my head was still pretty fucked up from the booze. Laura looked worried for a moment and I told her I needed to take it slow. I finally stood up, my head kind of dizzy but my body was on fire. I really wanted to get naked in front of her and see what she'd do even as I was scared shitless she'd make me eat her or she'd touch me, but then I'd get all tight and loose and I just had to see what would happen. I peeled off my clothes slowly, not like a striptease, and not like in the locker room, but carefully because my head was spinning. And when I was totally naked I decided to fuck with her a little and just stood there, my hands moving to cover my breasts and my bush.

She looked up at me, her eyes questioning. "Can you," she hesitated, talking softly like I wouldn't do whatever she was about to ask, "like you did the other night? With your hands behind...?" She motioned and waited, her face looking so expectantly. I looked down and presented myself, with my hands behind my neck, my breasts thrust out and my legs spread.

I looked up then and watched her face and saw her mouth go soft, her jaw kinda dropped and her eyes were kind of glassy. They kept drifting up and down trying to take me all in. I giggled a little because it was silly to me, but I could tell she was getting hot and bothered and that turned me on. She got up and stood close to me, her bra rubbing below my breasts and she looked up at my face when she asked if I wanted to see more of her toys. I blushed and didn't answer. I just looked at the floor hearing CS's voice and just going with the feeling of letting go. She brushed past me and I could hear her opening a drawer and then putting something on the bed next to me.

"What does he call you?"

I couldn't believe she was asking, and we didn't have a safe word but I probably wouldn't have used it then anyway, but I just kept quiet and she came up in front of me, her fingers up to my nipples without touching them and I just knew she'd do it, so I told her I was his cum slut cunt, and she told me that wasn't so bad and her fingers just barely touched my nipples and they got really really hard!!! But all night, that's what she called me even though she could see it made me mad. Up until then only Sir called me that and I didn't think anyone else should do it without his permission. I was so fucked up from the Tequila and I was getting so horny!!!! I can't believe we did what we did!!! I can't tell Shauna Laura is a les. I can't tell her or Melissa that I'M A LES!!!!

She showed me the

vibrator

toy

dildo we'd used before and said it was her favorite, but then she showed me something I'd only seen in porn and I held my breath when I saw it! A double dildo, black and long and it looked too thick to go into me. I just shook my head, closing my eyes.

"We're going to try this out tonight, cum slut cunt."

She said it so gently, I just kept shaking my head no, but I never said my word. She stood in front of me and slipped out of her underwear, tossing them behind her, her nipples much smaller than mine but hard as anything and her dark bush matted from how wet she'd gotten.

"Tell me," she said. "Does he make you ask him to do stuff to you?"

I gasped and looked up at her face and then down, even though she didn't know the rules and I told her sometimes he did. She told me to get on my hands and knees on the bed and tell her exactly what she was supposed to do with that toy. I could feel my stomach doing flips, but not from the Tequila, that had settled down and I turned to do what she asked, knowing I would be exposing my pussy to her and that she was going to fuck me. I was so ashamed and so fucking hot!!!! I can't believe I let her do that to me, but I was so fucked up and so turned on and I couldn't believe she was for real, and then she told me to tell her what I expected, and I told her I needed to suck it first before she put it in me. Before I'd finished even telling her, she had it at my lips and I opened my mouth and throat as much as I could, but it was too big. I got it coated though, which is what I wanted, and then she pulled it out and she got all bossy and demanded I tell her

exactly

what she was supposed to do with it and I could feel how wet I was and I was so exposed and so humiliated and I couldn't say it and she kept pushing until I just told her to fuck my wet cunt with that fucking dildo!!!

FUCKKKKK. I can't believe I did it! She has me so fucked up, now that she knows I'll do whatever she asks. Cuz I will. I felt just as submissive with her as I've felt with Sir and now I know that I'm just a slut and will do whatever people tell me and I get so fucking turned on by it.

So I felt it as she pushed it into my pussy. It was so huge I felt like it was splitting me apart. I spread my legs as far as I could, arching my back to stretch as much as possible and she just kept pushing it in. I groaned and told her to stop and she did, holding it there, and then I felt her moving around on the bed until her feet were touching my knees. I wiggled a little cuz her legs were tickling me, and I looked back and saw she was backing up to me, her ass almost touching mine. I could see her ■■■■ pussy poking between her thighs, her lips exposed. I turned back around a little grossed out at what she was doing.

And then I could feel her pushing it into her, slowly. Every time she pulled on it, it would pull out of me a little and she'd inch her legs back toward me, pushing it back in until I grunted for her to stop. My head was dizzy from the tequila, from feeling the dildo in me, from how Laura was treating me, It felt like it had been going on forever, each time she pushed into me she'd tell me to push back until I could feel her butt cheeks against mine. At some point she stopped moving and she just moaned. I couldn't move and I couldn't stay still. I just wanted to feel it rubbing inside me, but every time it did, it hurt, and I could feel my clit swelling up and I just wanted to rub it, but I had to keep my hands down on the bed. She was panting, like she was out of breath, and then she used that bossy voice again, only it was just a whisper to tell her what I had to call myself. I kept saying cum slut cunt over and over again like a stupid chant and she moved to the rhythm of it and I was so out of control. I could feel her fingers rubbing herself, the vibrations going through the dildo into me, but I was only getting rubbed and split open and more frustrated.

I was getting a little angry. Who the fuck was she to just use me like that and I was about to just pull out when she screamed her orgasm. It was soooooo gross and disgusting and it turned me on sooo much. I couldn't believe how fucking insane it was. What kind of fucked up person am I???? If I hadn't already known I was a whore, that moment did it. That I could make anyone so turned on they'd cum, doing nothing but being naked and letting them use my body. The feeling of power washed over me again like a bucket of warm water drenching (hah! There's a word-of-the-day for you Ms. Obrien! Only I can't ever show you this!!!!!) the anger and I smiled.

"Oh fuck," she kept saying over and over again, and the angle of the dildo changed pushing deep up against my back and I realized she had collapsed onto her chest and was trying to breathe through her climax. It hurt a lot, and I wasn't going to get off that way anyway, so I reached back and gently slid my hand between our bodies. I freaked when I felt how warm and soft her skin was and I flinched when I realized I was touching her pussy and how wet it was, but I got my hand around the shaft and held it still while I pulled myself off of it.

She gasped, and I turned around to see I had moved it into her and it was so gross. Her pussy was split open, her lips and hair wrapped around it, wet and a little creamy. and she begged me to fuck her with it!!! I couldn't believe it! She'd just cum and I hadn't been able to do anything and she wanted more???? But then I remembered what I was and what I was trying to do, and I turned around and began moving it out of her and then back in. She kept asking me what I was and I chanted cum slut cunt with every move and she moaned again every time I said it. Her smell was so different from mine—a little like the ocean, or some kind of animal—and I saw her cream coating the black shaft as I pushed and pulled it. She had both of her hands on her pussy lips, leaning on her elbows. I just stared at her. I'd never seen a girl fingering herself and I couldn't stop looking. She kept switching between her finger and thumb, stroking her clit and her moans got louder and stronger with every stroke until she came again, screaming again and her legs collapsing out from under her.