It was Thursday and I was lying in a miserable heap on the couch watching a documentary about a serial killer. The bowl of Cheetos in front of me had lost my interest and just left me feeling even more bloated with orange-tinted fingers.
Suzie was washing a load in the laundry room while my head and uterus pounded with my misery.
I pressed my fist into my pelvis trying to punch out my cramps. My face was in a pout.
She came into the kitchen and started to put away the dishwasher load into the cabinets.
"Are you watching the new Hulu special?" She called out.
"Yeah. The dude deserves to be in jail." I said dryly.
"Hmm."
The dishes clashed and she closed the dishwasher, turning it on with the familiar beep melody.
She came over to me and sat on the edge of the couch, caressing my hip. "Feeling crummy?"
"Yeah." I said sadly.
"What is it?"
"Cramps."
"Hm. I'm sorry, baby. Have you taken anything?"
"No."
"Okay. Imma get you some Ibuprofen, okay?"
"Okay." I said bitterly.
My heart surged slowly at her attention and I felt like crying for no good reason.
Damn it.
She came back with tea, cookies, and pills.
I dragged my body upright and pulled a pillow over my belly.
"Thank you, babe." I popped a couple of pills and slurped at the sweet chamomile tea.
She massaged my shoulder a bit and put me at an angle to lay my legs over her lap.
I sighed out as I laid back on the pillows, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in my hips.
She massaged my calves as we watched the show, but I was still hurting a lot and I couldn't help but whimper when a bad jolt of pain ran through my groin.
"Babe?"
I looked at her.
"Do you want to try for an orgasm? Or two? It always helps when you do it to me."
I looked down and pouted. I wanted to be confident and decisive but I felt like crap.
"Come on, baby. It'll make you feel better." She pushed my legs off her lap and turned off the TV.
She led me by the hand to the bedroom and sat me on the bed, leaving me alone for a minute.
"Hold on! Let me get everything, okay?"
I was still close to crying and I did
not
feel sexy.
She came back and I heard her moving around. I was still punching my hips, trying to get rid of the pain.
"Do you have a tampon on, darling?"
"Yes, but it's been a few hours and I need to change it."
"Do you want to do it or do you want me to do it?"
I looked up at her in surprise, scrunching my eyebrows. "What?"
She smiled as she replied. "I could do it if you wanted.
I didn't know if that was really hot or really weird. I settled on super sweet.