The romance in this story is fabricated, however, the sob story in the beginning is not. I have changed names, but everything up to the point of meeting "Sarah" in the student union building is true. If you have any advice as to how to fix my mistake, or how to get over it, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
"Jesse"
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I was walking to class, just like any other Monday. It was chilly, the first snow of the season laying on the ground. I couldn't wait to get inside. Not that I was looking forward to Statistics, not by any means, but at least it would be warmer. That's when I saw her. She was on her way into the student union building. I hadn't seen much of her since we both transferred to the main campus. We used to see more of each other, back when we were at the smaller branch campus. Those were the good days.
Our first(and only)date was last April. I was as nervous as a turkey on Thanksgiving as I went in to pick her up. She had been giving me signals all semester. Giggling when I spoke, random hugs for no reason. At first I shrugged it off. I figured I was making something out of nothing, but then I saw her at a GSA(Gay-Straight Alliance)meeting, and all my theories were confirmed. It took a while, but finally I worked up enough courage to ask her to dinner. Not the most original I know, but what can I say. She agreed and we made plans. I walked into the lobby of our only dorm building to wait, as jumpy as a jackrabbit.
She walked into the room, and my nervousness doubled. We walked to my car, a 20 year old Chevy Lumina. Like an omen, when I started to pull out of the parking lot, it stalled. Damn! Why couldn't I own some luxury model or sports car, something more reliable or more alluring. It took a couple of tries, but finally we made it out. For the remainder of the evening, I babbled like a moron. I was just so nervous! I'd never been so nervous in my life. But it's always been like that with her. Even before I noticed she was interested. I guess my body was telling me something my conscious mind couldn't. Anyway, dinner passed and she showed no sign of boredom at my rambling. When we went to leave that parking lot, of course my old Chevy stalled again, but we made it. We drove back to the campus and I got even more nervous. What about a goodnight kiss! Do I have courage enough for that? When I pulled up in front of the dorms, the answer to that question was no. I put my right arm onto the steering wheel to block her out and didn't even look at her when I said goodnight. I felt like such a heel. There's no other word for it.
For the rest of the semester I tried to reconcile myself. But I kept on chickening out. Anytime we were alone, I tried to work up the courage for a kiss. That way she'd know how I felt. But I couldn't do it. By the end of the semester, I still hadn't fixed my mistake. Before the end of the summer, I saw on Facebook she had started seeing some guy. She was pretty crazy about him judging by her posts. Well that was it. No chance for me now.
Since we started school I've seen her maybe two or three times. It helps some with my regrets, not seeing her face, but I still see her posts online. Going on about her boyfriend and how in-love she is. It still hurts. It's my own damn fault and I know it. If I could go back in time I'd give her a better evening. I'd have given her the proper goodnight kiss. But I'll never have the chance. Or so I thought.
Back to the present. She was just walking into the building when I caught sight of her face. She was upset. As much as it hurt to be around her, she was hurting too. I had to see if she was okay. I still had time before class. I walked in after her.
"Sarah." I called to her. She turned. She was definitely upset.
"Jesse." I walked over to where she stood.
