Corporate Aspirations

Author's note:

I'm grateful for the amazing

AwkwardMD

and

Bramblethorn

for helping me with this one. Stop by their catalogues if you haven't already.

--#--#--#--#--

Stina straightened her posture. A radiant smile was forcing itself on her face, and she gave in a little, hoping it wouldn't come off as the manic grin she feared. She slowed her walk to match the rotating door. Stepping into the lavish lobby, she allowed herself one slow, awestruck glance around.

The customer-facing side of TF Inc. was perfect. A lot of it was pink, but in a hushed and classy, corporate-suitable way. Pink and white orchids were set on different tables among plush chairs and sofas. If the space was smaller, it could have felt cramped and kitschy, but in this vast, high space, paired with white marble floor and shiny chrome accents, it conveyed an air of unflinching femininity.

Stina rolled her shoulders back, forced her smile down a few grades, and strutted toward the desk. The girl behind the counter was young and pretty, and she smiled at Stina. "Welcome to TF Incorporated! How may I help you?"

"Good morning," Stina said, a full toothy grin again taking over her face. "My name is Stina Karlsson. I have a meeting with Tiffany Fairbanks."

The girl's eyebrows rose. She tapped her computer, and her smile widened to almost match Stina's. "Of course, ma'am! Follow me."

The receptionist opened a side gate, next to the spotless chrome gates the employees used with their access passes, and Stina followed her in.

An office is an office. There's only so much you can do with office spaces, but in TF it was all done, and done perfectly. The flimsy inner walls produced an illusion of intimate spaces, though Stina got the impression that most of it was, in fact, an open-plan cubicle type of arrangement. Color scheme was perfect, pinks and grays with whites and husky greens. Coffee areas were cozy and it looked like employees were treated to fruit and nuts for snacks. Everyone was smiling.

Not everyone was young, of course; Stina spotted a variety of ages, ethnicities, dress styles, hairdos. But every single one of them was female. Stina sighed happily, trying to maintain a professional appearance when she followed the receptionist along corridors and up on an elevator.

This company had been her target for so long it felt like forever. Ever since she'd started working in advertisement, this had been her great white whale. Obviously she wasn't the only one; TF Inc. was a trend-setter, a home for visionaries and go-getters, a company many aspiring graphic designers would have loved to work for. Now she was finally here, and even the nervousness of having to prove her worth couldn't suppress her excitement.

The elevator doors opened to a wide, open lobby, bathed in sunlight. On their right was a full height window revealing a dizzying view over the city and the bay beyond, a vast expanse of blue sky dotted with small clouds and the full brightness of the spring day. The receptionist led her to a desk much like the reception desk below, behind which stood a slightly older version of herself, dressed in a similar uniform.

"Tiffany's ten-thirty", she said.

The new receptionist looked at Stina, smiling the same welcoming smile. "Of course. Thank you, Ada."

The receptionist from downstairs gave a small bow, and walked briskly back toward the elevator. Her heels made a subdued clicking sound on the floor, slightly more audible on the marble than the carpeted stretches. The new receptionist stepped away from behind her desk, straightening her skirt, and gestured toward the sofa groups. "Have a seat, Miss Karlsson. Mrs. Fairbanks will see you shortly. Would you like something while you wait? Coffee? Tea?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Stina said, smiling.

Her nervousness was getting the upper hand again, and she walked to stand beside the window. A few tiny white dots spotted the bright blue of the sea, and she thought about people sailing there, carefree, wind in their hair.

Deep breaths. That could be you, one day.

"Stina Karlsson?"

Tiffany had a low and slightly raspy voice. She was maybe in her sixties, her hair gracefully grayed out, wearing an impeccable tailored skirt suit and a radiant smile. Her eyes were sharp and piercing though, and Stina got an impression of a bird posed to strike. An eagle, maybe.

"Mrs. Tiffany Fairbanks! I can't tell you how thrilled I am to work with your company!"

"Yes, yes," Tiffany allowed easily and gestured toward the now-open door behind the secretary's desk. "This way, if I may ask. Would you like something? Coffee, tea, water?"

Uncertainty churned in Stina's guts. It was one thing to deny the secretary, but was she now supposed to accept? Tiffany raised an eyebrow, very minutely, and Stina launched into the wolf-like grin herself.

"I'd love some green tea."

"Great! Molly, green tea and sides, please."

Stina stepped into the lioness's den, her back straight, her mind resolute. Both their lawyers had been through the contract beforehand. The heavy lifting had been done. All she had to do was to not fuck up, and Stina was very good at not fucking up.

***

"That office was to die for," Stina said, for the fourth time, peering out of the cafeteria window toward the TF Tower looming in the distance.

"Maybe it'll be yours one day," answered her brother, for the fourth time. His voice was as void of glee as the previous times, for which Stina was grateful. She knew she was gushing; she'd known she would be gushing before she went in, and that's why she'd arranged to meet afterwards with her younger brother and not anyone else.

Not that she had very many anyone elses to celebrate with.

"Not just the view," Stina said. "It was so stylishly decorated. Very homey. She had all these pictures with her and all the famous clients."

Her mind's eye scrolled the pictures. There had been one she hadn't recognized, of much younger Tiffany with a very beautiful woman of Indian descent. She was sure she had done her homework and studied all TF Inc.'s success stories, but she had no idea who the woman was. The picture was positioned in the middle of the picture wall, too. In the most important place, or so it seemed. Almost like all the other pictures were petals to its epicenter.

"So if this subcontracting goes well, they might want to hire you?" prompted Ben, bless his heart, not tired of going through all this over, and over, and over.

"Yes!" Stina brightened up from her musings. "This'll be for six months, but it's heavily implied that if I get through this Grumble Co. campaign successfully, they will indeed be wanting to negotiate with me."

Ben laughed heartily and sipped his coffee. "What's there to negotiate? You're dying to work there."

"Well duh, but I can't tell them that! I have to be all cool and

oh I need to consider my options

and all that. Though... I think they know it's a bluff. But you know, it's this whole song and dance, I need to do it that way."

"Uh huh," said Ben, who was a carpenter and whose business negotiations were much more straightforward. "Listen, Kyle wanted to ask if you want to go to the cabin with us for Christmas. He knows it's maybe difficult for you to take time off, but he's hellbent on Lily having a snowy Christmas for once."

Stina snorted. "Lily's four, she's not going to remember. And it's over nine months away, isn't he awfully early with all this?"

Ben rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly. "You know how Kyle is with Christmases. And he thinks that since the current deal is over in August, you might then sign the contract with TF Inc., and you might feel you can't ask for an extended Christmas holiday if you don't have it in the top of your mind going in."

"Does he now," Stina said, leaning back. "I feel seen, and not in a good way."

"He's not wrong though," Ben said levelly.

"No, no he isn't. I'll keep it in mind. But no promises yet."

Stina sipped the tiny glass of cognac and shivered. Ben savored the last bites of his triple chocolate cake, trying to prolong the moment. Stina wished she had friends to properly celebrate with, even in the middle of the week, but the thought was fleeting. In all honesty, she wouldn't have wanted to drink to other people's business success on a Wednesday, either.

"Will you come over for dinner on Sunday?" Ben asked. "Lily kind of thinks you'll come every Sunday, you know."

"I will, of course I will. I wouldn't miss dinner with my favorite niece. And tell Kyle I said hi."

Ben smiled and got up, gathering his things. He bent down to kiss Stina's forehead, and left. Stina watched the other patrons looking at him. Her brother was a very good looking man, tall and lean, and carpenting kept him in a good shape. He was also gayer than a bag of rainbows, and by the dirty looks some of the young female patrons gave her, it wasn't immediately obvious to the casual observer.

Stina couldn't imagine giving others the stink eye for having coffee with someone attractive. There had to be some logic behind it, but it eluded her.

***

"No, girl, I've told you I want to be here."

This was the third time they'd had this same exchange, and Stina knew it was because Amber was nervous. Her grip was tight and sweaty when she squeezed Stina's hand briefly.

The doctor was running late, which didn't help. Amber was looking around the waiting room, too anxious to focus on any of the available magazines.

"I know," she whined. "But it's a workday, and you always come with me, and--"

"You know I can. I talked with my boss."

Amber barked a short laugh. Stina was her own boss, after all.

"So how's it been at TF?"

They had been through this, too, but Amber needed the distraction and Stina still hadn't grown tired of talking about working for her dream company.

"It's so good! Omg, I swoon so hard every time I go to the office. It's so

neat

. It's so

girly

, but, like, in a classy way."

"Have you met Tiffany again?"

It was Stina's turn to let out the chortle. "Oh, heavens no. She doesn't deal with us mere mortals. No, I attend this weekly status meeting under Pearl, who's responsible for my project and a bunch of others. It's

amazing

. It's so inspiring to hear what everyone's working on. I've worked alone for so long that I can't imagine having that sort of collegial support.

And

I get access to their archives, too!"

The door opened and they both looked up, but it was just the assistant entering the examination room. Door closed behind her and they looked at each other again.

"Bea Santori is in the same team," Stina said, brightening up despite herself. "Gosh, it takes all I have to pretend I'm cool when she's in the room."

"She's the one who did the campaign for the dress thing?"

"No, not the dresses, the shoes. You know, the goth thing, but with pink. The dress thing was Alex Gallagher, and you know, if

she

was in the same group I think I'd just

die

, I couldn't not fangirl over her no matter how hard I tried."

Amber did her best to be interested in Stina's work, but sometimes it was blatantly obvious how much of it went in one ear and out the other. Stina was briefly irritated, then berated herself for it. It wasn't Amber's fault that most of Stina's life revolved around her work, as uninteresting as it was to outsiders. Marketing wasn't a thing that played a big role in Amber's life, and she really was a darling for trying.

She felt an additional pang when she remembered that Amber had been excited about the shoe campaign, and the shoes, before they'd discovered that the brand didn't scale up to her sizes. Being inclusive towards trans women and other women with big feet wasn't a priority for many upscale shoe brands, including this one. Amber was rarely the target group of any campaign. Most often she wasn't actively excluded, she just wasn't

included

.

"Ms Smith!"

Amber shot out of her chair, smiling nervously. Stina gave her an encouraging smile, lifting two thumbs up, before she disappeared into the doctor's office.

***

Stina leaned against the door, slumping and rolling her eyes. Kyle laughed and gestured to her with the cigarette pack. Stina locked the door and joined Kyle at the bathroom window. She lit up, and for a minute they puffed away, enveloped in the gray, swirling smoke drifting into the sky. The shrieks and giggling of all the children were muffled by the door.

"Thank you for agreeing to this," Kyle said. "I know it's not your cup of tea."

"Of course. Lily's my favorite niece, of course I'll give her whatever she wants for her birthday. A girl only turns five once."

"Favorite and only," Kyle pointed out. He looked at his cigarette evaluatively, then drew one more deep breath before putting it out on the lid of the little jar he had on the windowsill. "Still, I know a Barbie beauty salon party is not what you would've done on your Saturday if it was up to you."

"Well, sure. I seem to be missing a gene or two when it comes to nail-painting and makeup, but I'm old enough to pretend for a day for the benefit of Lily. I get why she wants to overplay the feminine hand."

"Like Amber?"

"That obvious, huh? Lily's not the only one who needs to overdo the feminine every now and then."

Stina grinned and put her cigarette out too. They both waved their hands to get the rest of the smoke out. Kyle offered gum, and they chewed, listening to the rambunctious girly ruckus echoing through the house.

"Thank you for letting Amber be the party hostess," Stina said, nudging Kyle's side. "She was nervous that some of the parents would have something against that. You know. Considering."

"We wouldn't have it any other way," Kyle said solemnly. "Two of the girls that were invited mysteriously canceled at the last minute, but fuck those people."

Stina looked at her brother-in-law's tightly set jaw. "And how many didn't accept the invitation in the first place? Because of who Lily's parents are?"

"More than one," Kyle said curtly. "Are you ready to face the pink explosion again?"

"Just let me wash my hands first. I think proper Barbies don't smell like cigarettes."

"Here, use this pine scented one. It works best."

They winked at each other, and Stina, once again, thought her brother couldn't possibly have chosen any better.

***

Approaching TF Inc.'s front door still had Stina bubbling with joy, even after weeks of attending her status meetings. She strolled across the lobby, waving her access card to the reader, and nodded to the receptionist. They were all friends here, on some level, working for this superb company; the feeling of camaraderie and sisterhood was strong.

Stina settled on her usual chair in the meeting room. She had on what she had come to think of as her TF uniform, the classy pantsuit in cream with gold accents, and she kept faithfully rotating the scarves and accessories in an order carefully planned by Amber to give the impression that she was paying attention to her appearance. Not everybody did; the women working for TF sported all kinds of styles. Like the woman settling diagonally across the table, who had on sports shorts and a green shirt which clashed spectacularly with her short, red hair. By the looks of her, she hadn't bothered with a comb; hair stood up at the back of her head.

Stina didn't recognize two of the next women to enter, either. The meeting room was filling out, and she was perplexed. Was she in the right place? But most of the room were familiar faces from her previous status meetings, and she decided to wait and see before asking anyone what was up. She didn't want to draw attention to how she was still essentially an outsider. Bea Santori entered the room, smiling radiantly all around and nodding to Stina, and it made her swell with pride.

Get a grip, girl,

she thought to herself.

You're just as professional. Just because she's a bigger name than you is no reason to swoon over her.

Realistically, she knew she'd done more marketing campaigns than Bea, so factually she was an even bigger professional; Bea's clients had just been of higher profile.

Pearl stepped in with a younger woman, a slim black girl with braids and a brightly colored, striped dress. They stood at the end of the long table, beaming at everyone.

"Welcome, sisters!" Pearl said, nodding to all of them. "I'm so glad you could all come to the office today! I have a personal announcement to make."

She paused for dramatic effect, then spread her arms and said, in a sing-song voice, "I'm pregnant!"

Everyone erupted into a chorus of congratulations and applause. Pearl grinned, made a stance that pushed her still not-very-obvious baby bump forward, and eventually shushed them when they wouldn't stop clapping.

"Thank you! Thank you, girls! I tell you, this is

the best

workplace, honestly."

It was too, at least for pregnancy; no other business offered as extensive paid maternal leave and TF Inc. even had their own daycare that was situated somewhere in the office building. Stina didn't know where exactly, but she had heard talk of it.

"So, in anticipation of my departure, we have decided to combine our status weeklys with Calinda's. We'll have a bit more ground to cover, but if we just make it a bit more concise I'm sure we can manage. Today we'll just make a round to introduce ourselves and our projects, and next week we'll get back to normal with status updates."

Everyone was nodding and looking around the table at each other. Bea seemed to be paying a lot of attention to the scruffy red-haired lady, and it made Stina curious. Bea's usual style was to be bubbly and overly friendly with everyone, a bit aloof, and this fixation on someone else was new to Stina.

The first ones to present their projects had been in Stina's team. She put on a listening face and paid subtle attention to Bea. Bea was usually the centerpiece of their meeting, with everyone checking on her for cues, and this pivot of attention interested Stina. Workplace politics were not always obvious, and she wanted to know all there was to know of her possible future working environment.

On her turn, Stina presented her project. She was well on top of it and was proud of her impromptu presentation, which was concise and well-humored. Pearl had introduced her as the "next up and coming talent," and today it was easy to tell herself it was true.

Bea stuttered a little with hers, which puzzled Stina further. She tried to covertly inspect the redhead to guess what in her presence was so unsettling for Bea.

The woman's sportswear gave a youthful impression and, in comparison to the carefully styled outfits of others, it made her appear too casual. On a closer inspection Stina noticed the smile wrinkles at the corner of their eyes and the few gray strands in her hair; she was older than Stina had first evaluated, maybe about forty. She wasn't the oldest in the room, but she had an air of seniority about her, or maybe it was just confidence. She didn't seem to pay much attention to the rest of the room.

A few of Stina's teammates, and the next up would be the mystery woman.

"Alex Gallagher," said Pearl. "One of TF's rockstars."

The feeling started from the top of Stina's head, like someone had smashed an egg on her. Tingling spread down her scalp, she suppressed the shiver but only barely, and she couldn't stop staring. She was sure Pearl's introduction had been for her benefit--surely everyone else already knew that this was the legendary Alex G? Surely they must know, but how come she was the only one swooning like a teenager?