Confusions

This story is purely fictional and any connection to real events is purely co-incidental. However, this story is close to my heart, and I stand by what I've written. If you are offended in any way by reading this story, I offer you my sincere apologies.

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My name is Linda. I am 25 years old, and I live in New York, the big apple. I am a software consultant at a big firm, and needless to say I am pretty well off by myself. My family lives in Chicago, but I left them when I as still in high school, as they couldn't accept the fact that I was gay. Yes, they were that much naive. Well, it's been many years, and some damage control has already been done. My mom called me up last year, and I was invited to the Christmas dinner. I did go, but it was as awkward and uncomfortable as I had thought it was going to be. I could easily notice the whispers and the stares, and my parents didn't even try to make me feel comforted. It seemed as if I didn't knew them anymore.

The only person who was a little nice to me was my little sister Kim. Well, she wasn't exactly little. She had turned 18 that very month, and had turned out pretty good looking. When I first saw her after all these years, I was stunned. She was by far the most prettiest girl I had ever seen. She had golden hair and blue eyes. Anyway, we got really connected on that trip, and I found out how amazing she was. She wasn't like other teenagers. She was gentle, kind and thoughtful. Everything she said had a deeper meaning to it. We could have been best of friends, but for the distance between me and my family. She didn't care what anyone else said. She said that she admired how I was proud of being different, and looked up to me as a strong person. I was almost sorry when the vacation ended and I had to go home to NY two days after New Year.

I had thought that it was all over, but I got a surprise when I got another call from my mom a week ago, saying that Kim was coming to NY for some days, and she wanted to stay with me. Well, I have a one bedroom apartment, which isn't exactly small, but isn't built for two people. But I couldn't miss a chance to spend some time with Kim, so I agreed anyway.

I went to pick her up at the airport. When I saw her alight from the escalator, I was dumbstruck. She looked so good I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was wearing a low cut sleeveless top and tight low jeans. This was the first time I noticed that she had nicely shaped breasts. They were a bit small, but seemed firm and juicy. Oh my god! Did I just say juicy? I was a bit shocked that I was thinking these things about my own little sister, but I couldn't help it. I've been with some very hot girls, but Kim was different. She was like a Greek Goddess. Ok, back to reality. Kim came down to me and we hugged. Her breasts touched mine, and I was again drowned in my own thoughts. I couldn't speak at all on the way home, and was relieved to get to my apartment.

It was about 6 in the evening. Kim was in the bedroom. I was in the living room watching TV. But I couldn't concentrate. I was thinking more of getting into the pants of my sister than staring into the idiot box. Her boobs, her curves, her legs, it was all too much for me to handle. Her flawless skin, her youth, it appealed to me more than anything. That sacred space between her legs - to touch it, to feel it, to caress it with my fingers, to dig out her special spot and rub it with my thumb, sending into waves of ecstasy...

And my juices started to flow. I could feel myself getting wet, and that for my own sister. Part of the reason was that I hadn't had sex for a some time now, and normally I don't touch myself that often. So it turned out that I hadn't "relieved" myself for about two weeks, and now my juices had filled up inside me, waiting to explode.

"Linda, can I talk to you?"

Kim's voice broke my train of thoughts, and I looked at her. She was wearing a short white T-shirt and a skimpy bottom. I could make out the outline of her breasts and also her left nipple.

"What it is honey?"

Oh my god! I called her honey! What was I thinking? But she didn't seem to mind, and walked into the room and sat down with me on the couch.

"I need to talk to you about something."

I looked into her eyes and noticed how nervous she was.

"I don't know how to say this," she continued, "but I can't talk about this to anybody. You are the only one I can turn to."

I was a bit surprised that she was saying stuff like this, but I remembered the kind of people my family members were, and thought to myself that she was right in not confiding in them.

"Look Kim," I replied, "I know we are not that close, but I want you to know that I am your sister, and I will do everything in my power to help you. You can trust me. Now relax, and tell me what's on your mind."

She seemed a little relieved.

"As you know, I am 19 years old. And ever since I... um... grew up, I'm having some doubts."

I began to suspect where this was going.

"Guy trouble?"

"No, not exactly," she replied, "and that's the problem. I don't like guys."

"You don't like guys? As in you met a guy, you liked him before, but now you no longer like him. Is that it?"

Kim broke eye contact with me and looked down. "No. I don't like guys as in sexually."

Finally, I realized where this was going. My hot, hot sister also gay. It's a miracle! A homo miracle!

"Look Kim," I started, "As you probably know, I also am gay. And believe me, it keeps getting better and better! Seriously, it's not a bad thing. It's the way you were born. If you're different, accept it, and be proud."

She looked up at me, "See, that's the problem. I know I'm not straight, but I don't know if I'm gay. I mean, I know I don't like guys, but I don't know if I could like girls. I've seen the videos and such, but I didn't get," she flinched, "you know, aroused. I'm so confused I can hardly think. I feel as if I'm a freak."

I certainly didn't expect this. But I knew what I had to say. I had went through this too.

"Listen, honey, I know what you're going through. But believe me, you'll find someone very special, and that person will understand all your needs, and then you'll find out all the answers for yourself. The first time is always hard, but you'll just have to trust time to do it's bidding."

I held her hand, and we hugged. After that we ate dinner. She hardly said a word during the whole meal, and I too was feeling very uncomfortable, since we had talked about sex, the most uncomfortable thing to talk about, but I reckoned that this feeling will pass in a couple of days.

After the meal I went to my bedroom and laid down on the bed. Tonight I would share my bed with the hottest girl I had ever seen, and now that I knew she was gay too, I wanted her even more. But I knew that nothing could happen, since she was my sister.

Kim came into the room after a couple of minutes and laid down beside me. She looked as if she had made up her mind about something.

"Linda, I want you to be my first."

I was frozen. Did I hear it correctly? Maybe I didn't. Yes, that's it. I didn't hear her correctly. She must have meant something else.

"What did you say?"

"I want you to be my first. I want to make sure what I feel is true, and what better person to help me than someone I trust. You yourself said that the first had to be special, and I can't think of a more special person than you."

I was overwhelmed! But she was my sister. And I had to do the right thing.

"Look, Kim, I understand what you're going through, but we are sisters. We can't do this. I promise you that you will find someone... "

I hadn't even finished my righteous speech when she sat up, looked at me and removed her T-shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. It was the first time I saw her breasts, and I remember that moment eve now. She looked beautiful.

Before I had time to react to this sudden event, she got on top of me and planted a kiss on my lips. It was no ordinary kiss. It was passionate, very passionate. Then she thrust her tongue into my mouth and played around with mine. First I tried to resist, but then I caved in. it was too much pressure, and I was too much horny.

We kissed for a good long 5 minutes. It was now my turn. I pushed her off me and sat on top of her.

"So you want me? Well, you've got yourself a deal," I almost shouted at her as I bent closer to her and licked her neck. She tilted her head backwards, and I moved down to her breasts. Her nipples were hard. I cupped her breasts, and then took her left nipple in my mouth. She arched her back, giving me more access to her boob. I suckled on the nipple, and flicked it around with my tongue. I licked and sucked on it while I massaged her left inner thigh with my hand. Then I took her other nipple between my thumb and first finger, and rubbed it a little. I looked at her. Her eyes were closed. It was evident from her face that she was loving every moment of this. It was time to take this to the next level. I massaged her belly a little, and played with her navel with my tongue. She writhed in ecstasy. Seeing her approval, I proceeded to remove her panties. Now my little sister was lying naked on the bed before me. Her pussy was hairless, and she was leaking! I gently touched her pussy lips with my fingers. It was as soft as velvet. I uncovered her lips to expose her clit. She shuddered as I touched it. It was all that I could take. I sat up and opened her legs and laid down between them. I first kissed her left inner thigh, then her right. She opened her eyes and looked down at me. There was lust in her eyes; pure animal lust.

"Just relax honey, and I will make you feel very good," I said, and she laid her head back down again, and closed her eyes.

I licked her juices off her thighs, and gently licked her lips. She moaned a little, and I began to move my tongue up and down her pussy lips. Slowly I steadied my pace, and now I was furiously licking and sucking her sweet love hole. She began to move her hips to the rhythm of my tongue. Sensing that she was close, and knowing how horny she was, I slid my hand up to her chest and started massaging her left breast. She put her hand on top of mine and squeezed gently. I stopped and looked up.

"Oh, Linda! Don't stop. I never felt so good in my entire life. Please don't stop... "

She was now virtually begging me to fuck her. I inserted a finger into her, and she jerked her hips. I inserted another finger, and curved them upwards. She arched her back, and almost let out a scream.

"What was that, Lin? That felt so fucking good... "

I was a little surprised at her use of this language, but now I decided that if it is a good fucking that my little sister requires, then so be it.

I took out my fingers and started to rapidly lick her clit. I sucked on it and flicked it from side to side. Kim was now going mad with passion, and jerked her hips and moaned loudly. She pressed my hand strongly, and I knew her time had come.

I took my face out of her pussy and started to rapidly rub her clit with my thumb. As her orgasm began, she began to wildly jerk her hips. I used my left hand to hold her down while I furiously rubbed her clit with the other. Suddenly she moved her hips in the air, arched her back, and came squishing on my hand.

"Ohhhh GOD!!!!"

She remained in this position for about 5 seconds, and then fell back on the bed. I slowed down my rubbing, but did not stop. A moment later I climbed up beside her, and gently kissed her.

"Are you OK, honey?" I asked her.

She looked at me with a satisfied gaze. I could clearly see the sweat on her forehead, and I knew she had had the best orgasm of her life.

"That was amazing!" was all she could muster out.

I put my finger on her lips, smiled and kissed her again. She broke the kiss, and looked at me.

"Lin, I have a confession to make."

I put my hand on her belly.

"What is it?"

"I had always known why you left home. And I never felt anything against you, no matter what anyone said. In fact, whenever I looked at a picture of you, I always felt a connection."

I moved my hand down to her snitch and inserted a finger into her. She shuddered a little, and widened her eyes.

"Keep talking," I said.

"Well," she continued, "When I, um, grew up, I used to have fantasies about you. At first I thought that it was wrong, but then I gradually accepted my feelings as the way I was born."

I began to gently move my finger in and out of her pussy. She also began to gently rock her hips to the rhythm of my finger.

"Then a time came when I actually used to, um... , get off while thinking of you. And when you came home for Christmas last year, I decided that I had to have you."

Well, well, well! Here I'm lying in bed with my young naked sister next to me, telling me about how she used to masturbate thinking about me while I finger fuck her. Neat!

I started fingering her faster.

"And it's not just about sex," she continued, "You might think of me as crazy, but I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember."

What? In LOVE with me? That was certainly not something I had planned for. But now was not the time. She had started to move her hips faster. I decided to let her enjoy this moment, and I would talk to her tomorrow.

"Just enjoy this, sweetheart."

She threw her head back and put her arms over her head. I pulled my finger out of her and started to rub her clit, and got a little nearer to her and began to lick under her arm, just below her shoulder; a sweet spot which I know for a fact that drives women crazy.

She began to grind her pussy against my hand, then suddenly arched her back and went motionless. It was a truly wonderful sight. My young sister, lying on my bed, naked, her whole body sweating, nipples erect, her back arched, her head tilted back, her arms over her head, while I rubbed her and licked her. Yes, truly a memorable sight.

But it was not over yet! She grabbed the sheets with her hands, and raised her hips into the air. From the expression on her face it was clear that she was having another tremendous orgasm, maybe even stronger than the previous one. I continued to rub her and lick her, happy that I was giving my sister such strong pleasure.

This time she didn't say anything. She didn't even moan. She just fell back onto the bed, and kept her eyes tightly closed, as if fearing that if she opened them, the moment will go away.

I slowed down my rubbing, and gradually came to a halt. I laid down beside her, and looked up at the ceiling. I was happy. It was a kind of happiness that I hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe I had never felt this kind of happiness before. I didn't know for sure. But I did know that I didn't feel guilty at all. Just a moment ago, I had sex with my young sister. No, not sex; just a moment ago I had made LOVE to my young sister. But strangely enough, I didn't feel guilty. Instead, I felt a warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart. Being kicked out of my own house, gawked and stared at for being different, being singled out from the crowd just because I wasn't like them; all these wounds suddenly disappeared. Yes, they just suddenly disappeared. I was at peace. Everything came into place. I was what I was. My life had a purpose after all. I remembered the headline I had seen in the newspaper the other day; it said that a 19 year old girl had committed suicide because she was confused about her sexuality, because she was confused about her very being. If I wasn't who I was, that girl could have been Kim. I twitched at the thought, even though I wasn't really close to her, but because I couldn't stand a human being giving up her life. She trusted me, among all people, including the people whom she has been living with for her entire life. No, wait, I take my words back. How can I say that I'm not close to her? She had just arrived yesterday, and had been with me for just a day, and yet I adored her so much. Yes, it was partially because she was so beautiful. But it was more so because of who she was. She was the first person to truly understand me. When I was with her I could be truly myself. I didn't have to put on a fake face and attitude in front of her like I had to for other people. Now that I thought about it, I had got more attached to her in one day than to anybody else in my entire life. She was truly a great person, and I was really lucky to have met her.

Suddenly my thoughts came back to mother earth, and I remembered that Kim hadn't moved at all. I turned to my side and looked at her. She still had her eyes closed, but her face showed an expression of satisfaction.

"Kim," I said lightly, "Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes and looked at me. There were tears in her eyes.

She sat up. I sat up too.

She put her face into her hands, and started crying.

I knew what she was feeling. Emotions were running wild, crisscrossing her heart. I put my arms around her and held her. She continued to cry. I couldn't get myself to say anything. I had been through this too. I knew exactly what she was going through. But still, I couldn't say anything. I tried to open my mouth, but no words came out. I was overwhelmed by my own emotions. In just one day, this girl had made her way right through to my heart. We had shared something very special. This wasn't just sex. It was the beginning of something which only comes to us once in a lifetime, and leaves it up to us whether we want to keep it for life or just to throw it away. I was rather surprised at the thoughts that were coming into my mind, but I couldn't help it.

Kim was still crying. It was unbearable for me to see her cry. But there was nothing I could do. So I just held her. Tears rolled down my eyes too. But I dared not cry, for then she would know how I felt, and that would make her departure next week even more difficult.

Kim had stopped crying.

She looked up at me and said, "I'm sorry."

I smiled at her. "It's all right honey. I understand," I replied, and I kissed her on the forehead, "It's late, and I think we should call it a night."

I laid down on the bed, and Kim laid down beside me. She put her head on my chest and her arm around my waist. I put my arm across her and pulled her closer to me.

I stretched my other arm and turned the bed lamp off, and said, "Good Night sweetheart."

"Good Night Lin."

"Um, Lin... "

"Yes, dear?"

"I Love You."

"Yes, honey, I know."