"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been four months since my last confession. I've tried to lead the life I should, but now Father...now I truly fear for my soul."
"There's a woman Father. A woman so bright and beautiful the very sun shies away from her. And I have such thoughts of her Father, such lustful thoughts. I know what the Bible says of these things Father...that it says a woman shouldn't love another woman. But I can't seem to get her out of my mind. And to be honest Father I don't know that I want to."
"I was at a dinner party some time last month. It was a work function that I didn't feel up to attending in the first place. She walked into the room and I simply stopped breathing. I didn't even notice until my lungs began to burn. And when I finally remembered to take a breath, the air I inhaled was filled with the scent of her perfume. She stood before me, extending her hand in greeting."
"I can't begin to tell you how beautiful she was Father. She had hair the color of midnight, and eyes as bright and blue as the noonday sky. I know that sounds so poetic and ridiculous, but it's the only way I can describe her. Her figure was full and lush...her skin, flawless. She was introduced to me as our host, and my boss's wife. My stomach did a slow, sickening roll as I plastered on my best smile and took her hand in mine. It was soft and smooth as satin, and the feel of it had my heart thudding in my chest."
"She continued making her way around the room, greeting her guests in a friendly manner. I mingled with my colleagues, but I kept watching her out of the corner of my eye. I observed the effortless grace with which she moved, the almost regal way she carried herself. She would have seemed aloof and unapproachable if not for the open warmth of her smile."
"I felt stifled and hot and desperately needed to catch my breath. I made my way outside onto the porch that wrapped around the front of the house. I couldn't understand what was happening to me. I was utterly confused and dumbfounded. I wasn't attracted to women and never had been. So why was I behaving like a schoolgirl with a crush? I didn't understand Father. And the only other thought that kept repeating in my head was...I'm going to hell."
"I knew she was there. I smelled her before she ever spoke. I closed my eyes and sent up a silent prayer to God. 'There you are. We've been looking for you.' I turned and hoped that she'd miss the flush on my cheeks, but I knew she wouldn't. 'Is everything all right? You look a bit pink.' She walked over and laid her hand on my cheek. My skin sizzled under her fingers and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I don't know what came over me Father, but I covered her hand with mine. Then I turned my face into her palm and kissed it. She recoiled, as if she'd been bitten by a snake, and the look on her face was one of appalled shock. She backed away from me, so obviously afraid to turn away, worried that I might do something far worse. Then she disappeared through the door."
"I was astounded at my own boldness Father. I don't know what came over me. I'd even go so far as to say that it wasn't me that used my lips to kiss her hand, that something had taken possession of me and that I wasn't responsible for my actions. I wanted it to be true. I wanted so desperately for it to have been someone else she had cast that disgusted expression upon. But it wasn't. I felt the sudden urge to bolt, to flee the scene of my crime, and as I sprang toward the half open door I resolved to do just that. It was sheer cowardice I know. But I couldn't face her."
"I searched the house and found a pile of coats lying on a bed in one of the spare rooms. I was going hastily through the stack trying to find my own when I heard the door click quietly closed behind me. I whirled around to see the object of my distress standing in front of the door, her hand still on the knob behind her back, effectively blocking my only means of escape."
"I was petrified. I couldn't bring myself to look at her and kept my eyes cast down to the floor. Neither of us spoke, and we stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity. She just stared at me, waiting for what I assumed was an apology, and even though I could feel it resting heavily on the tip of my tongue my mouth simply wouldn't form the words."
"She crossed the room, coming toward me in complete silence. She was close enough for me to breathe in the scent of her once again, and my knees nearly gave way. I couldn't handle the complete desire and the sheer terror all at once, both warring for control and neither giving way."