Choosing Love Pt 01

Introduction: In the mid 1960s, the United States was mired in the hell that was the Vietnam War. The society was in upheaval, the generation of love was exploring new boundaries as one era was passing into the next. Same gender love was gaining acceptance in a few of the larger cities, but in most places it was still forced into hiding. With the cultural revolution in full swing, the use of illegal drugs was growing throughout the country. In places like Texas, heroin was being discovered by a growing number of young people. It was a time of both hope for a more fair society and a time of death and ruined lives both at home and at war. In the center of this boiling kettle, difficult circumstances bring two young women to a crossing of paths, and important decisions to make.

Just so you know before you start; 1) This is a longish story, but I've broken it in to four shorter parts for those who don't have time for one long story. This is a complete story and all four parts are submitted and will be posted out over the next several days by the Literotica site editor. 2) The story is told primarily from the perspectives of the two main characters. To help keep it clear who is the character telling the story, I have used section headers with the first name in the list of characters being the one telling that part. 3) This story contains elements of three categories, Lesbian, Romance and BDSM which is generally gentle D/s explorations. Your comments and scoring are appreciated.

TAGS: Lesbian, Love Story, Romance, First Time, College Students, Texas, Gentle Domination, Submission.

*****

September 1966

Kendra with Bobby: My Dilemma Begins

"Please don't do it Bobby."

"Kendra, baby I'll be back before you know it and I'm proud to go do my part," he replied while pushing one last shirt into his bag.

"But you're only twenty and we just got married. You said we just needed to get out of Eden since everyone in town was so down on you. I agreed with that Bobby, after all the stuff came out about you and the drugs there wasn't much chance for us there." I said trying to show him I understood. When he just shook his head like I'm stupid, I tried again. "No matter what you said or did, they'd never let go of it. I get that. But the move here was so we could make a fresh start. Now after less than a month you want to leave me here all alone? I just don't understand the urgency Bobby."

I've pushed him too hard—he jerks around to face me and with a harder edge in his voice says, "Look, it's my duty—okay? Everyone I talk to thinks we'll kick the commies ass in hardly no time at all. I just hope I get over there before it's all over. I'll be back in less than a year, guaranteed."

I ignore his threatening glare, I have to try to stop him, "What if you don't? There's no way you can guarantee that you will. We've both seen the news reels on TV, it's a hell over there!" I realize too late that I probably spoke to loudly.

"Kendra, we've gone over this too many times. I'm already signed up so it's not like I can just go down there and tell 'em; Sorry, my wife won't let me go guys. Get real Kendra! Not to mention all my friends back home—half the fucking guys on my old team are already over there fighting. Some of 'em are already calling me a pot head and I ain't gonna be called a fucking hippie or a coward, that's for sure!"

I force myself to keep quiet, I've seen that look before. Maybe he noticed, taking a deep breath, and in a calmer tone he adds, "Look, when I get back there'll be plenty of time to get settled in. Plus, I'll be a war vet and that'll mean a lot better job. It makes perfect sense Kendra. Baby, I'm doing it for us."

Taking a chance on not pissing him off I ask, "What am I supposed to live on while you're gone Bobby? I've never worked and don't have any real skills. Should I go back to Eden and stay with my folks till you come back?"

My words push too hard. Loosing his patience, he turns and quickly closing the short distance between us, he puts a threatening finger in my face, "Look, we already talked about that. Under no circumstances are you to move back to that town. You know what they all think of me—well they also think of you that way. Your dad hates me and the feelings are mutual, so I won't allow you to go out there and let him backstab me and turn you against me. Don't think you have any friends out there, because you don't! I told you I'll send money as soon as I get paid. What more do you want?"

Glancing at his watch he ends it with, "Look, I gotta go. The bus leaves in half an hour. Thanks for the big send off Kendra, that's just what I needed!"

All I can do is watch as he picks up his suitcase and angrily storms out the front door without even a goodbye, much less a kiss. Watching the cab until it's out of sight, the realization that I'm all alone for the first time in my life truly hits home.

My tears can now run free, and I sit down feeling abandoned. A hopelessness settles over me like a rough blanket. Papa had tried to dissuade me many times before the wedding, but I couldn't hear any of it—I was in love and deaf to his warnings. Now it's clear his words were right about Bobby. He is impulsive and immature and now I guess it's time to admit that I was too. He's not the man I had built in my dreams.

Now what do I do? Mom and Pops both made it clear that when I walk out the door with him, don't bring it all back home when it doesn't work out. But when they said it, I couldn't imagine ever wanting to move back home—now I'm too ashamed, even if they'd let me. I don't blame them. I remember back to what Sis did. No, she married her fool and did bring it all back home. The drunken arguments she got into with him on the front porch, and the time Papa had come to blows with him right in our own home. No, I won't put them through that again. But what am I going to do now?

Sitting alone in the gloom of this miserable dump, all I can do is cry for now. I tell myself that I can always eat crow and go home...I have a lifeline. As I accept my situation, I finally begin to calm down. "I'll do all I can to make it on my own. "If I have to, I can always call home," I say to the empty room.

*****

Kendra: Alone Is A Lonely Place To Be

The sun streaming through the broken window blind is enough to make me get up. It's been the same wake up call every morning for the last week since he left. "Okay Kendra, time to figure something out about what to do now."

Sitting on the dirty beige sofa that matched all the rest of the furniture only in it's age and state of filthiness, I look around taking stock of my situation as I sip my coffee. The grease smudged furniture smells like motor oil and the smoke stained paint on the walls and ceiling makes me sick to my stomach. Sure, I assumed it would be hard just starting out together, especially so far from home and family. I never wanted to rent this place, but he promised to paint the walls and clean it up—another broken promise. "This is disgusting. I wasn't raised like this...and I'm not going to live like this now."

I can't stop the tears as they well up and overflow down my cheeks. My desperation only grows when I think about his old beater of a car that sits useless where it had croaked shortly after getting us here. Now it's either a cab or walk. With each passing thought I sense my heart hardening more and more towards him and the muscles in my neck and shoulders grow tense again. The knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts—my first thought, as my pulse races; He's back!

Opening the door, I find the landlord. "Is Bobby here?"

"No, he's joined the Army Mr. Garcia. Can I help you?"

"Bobby said he would have the rent a couple of days ago. Did he leave it with you?"

"No, Mr. Garcia, I thought he paid it. Please come in. I'll get some money."

I'm almost certain I don't have enough to pay for another month, and after counting all that is in my purse I don't. "Mr. Garcia, I'm so sorry, but I only have half of the rent. Here, please take it. I'll try to get the rest as soon as I can."

"Mrs. Jenkins, I don't think this is enough. I have payments due too."

"Can I just buy three more weeks then? I have no place to go. I'll either get the money or move out, but I just need some time."

"Okay, three weeks. I'm sorry, but this is hard for us both. You understand, yes?"

"Of course. Thank you for your kindness. I'll either get the money or be ready to go before the three weeks is up. I'm so sorry for this. I guess Bobby forgot to pay the rent in his rush to get to California for basic training camp."

"Okay. Sorry for your troubles."

My tears can now finally flow freely. I never knew life could be so hard. My only lifeline is Mama and Papa. But I have to try first, I don't want to drag them into this. Right now I need to go find a newspaper and try to get a job.

*****

October 1966

Kendra: Running Out Of Options

"Can I get you folks anything else?" I ask the older couple who had just finished the slice of pie they had shared.

"No Kendra, you know we limit it to one slice a day," the sweet older lady replied.

"Well, I never know when it might be a special day and you'll decide to splurge," I tease.

Charlie, her husband, adds his humor by saying, "When you get to be our age Kendra, everyday is special."

I chuckle at his joke and tell them both, "Then I'll see you two tomorrow."

I clear the dishes and put the tip in my pocket, still surprised at how much I enjoy working here. I thought I had finally hit the bottom when this was the only job offer I could muster up. But even in such a short time, my steady customers are already like friends of a sort. This is the first time I've ever been so adrift and friendless, working here is a pleasure compared to the last couple of months. Being in this city is so unlike everything I every knew—the sign said almost twenty-thousand people. San Marcos just feels so big and lonely after living in such a small and sheltered world growing up.

I take a slack moment to sit down for a while, but with all that's going on my mind never seems to rest. I'm thankful for this job, but I guess I'm really on my own. It's been close to a month now and still no letter or money from him like he'd promised. The only way to do more than live hand to mouth is to find a cheaper place to live—I hate that house and after my partial rent payment, time is running out on Mr Garcia's good will. The stupid place Bobby rented is already on the low end of the scale, that means I'll have to get by with something even lower. If I can't find a clean decent place I can afford, I need to just go back home to my parents—it's the only option.

Two days of searching the ads in the newspaper and still no luck. Walking to work I finally accept that I will have to call home for help. I hate the very idea of it. Stupid me made the last letter I sent home sound more upbeat than my reality. In hindsight, putting on a brave front and telling them Bobby had joined up to go fight the communists in Viet Nam might not have been the thing to do. But still, leaving out the details of how he left seemed important at the time. Now that they've written back saying how proud they are of him makes it hard to tell them the truth. Mama said lies always come back to bite. I just didn't want them to worry. Now I have to burst my lie with the truth—there's no cheaper place to rent, I'm about out of money and I'm sick of this whole town.

*****

The Next Day

Kendra: Small Steps Toward Hope

Like many neighborhood cafes, the Coffee Cup has a bulletin board in the front entry for customers to post ads and flyers. Walking in to start my shift after another restless night, it was there amongst the lost dogs and used cars for sale that I notice the postcard with pretty hand drawn flowers that might be the answer to my prayers; 'Wanted one female roommate to share nice apartment.' I grab the card and immediately call the number!

"Hello."

"Hi, I'm calling about your ad for a roommate, are you still looking?"

"Oh...yeah...I'm still looking. I'd have to meet you somewhere so we could talk first...it is kind of smallish and we need to be sure we get along and stuff. That seems smart to me...you know, to do that first," the voice on the other end tells me.

"Yes, that would be important. I've never done a roommate thing, how much is the rent going to be," I ask.

"The rent is two hundred a month, but splitting it would mean a hundred each. They pay all the utilities except electric and the phone," the girl replies.

"That would be great for me. I work here at The Coffee Cup Cafe where you posted the ad...would you want to meet here and talk?"

"That'd be great, my place is close to where you work. Just one more thing though, it's a one bedroom and we'd have to share that with twin beds, would that work for you?"

I ponder that one for a moment but quickly realize that I'm in no position to be picky, "I'm sure we can work it out. I shared a room with my sister, so I know it'll be crazy at times...but yeah, come down and I'll buy you a cup of coffee and we can get to know each other."

"When's a good time for you?" the stranger asks.

"Can you make it around two or two-thirty? The lunch crowd will be gone and I can sit down for a while. By the way, I'm Kendra. What's your name?"

"I'm Lisa, I'll be there around two-thirty then. It's a good thing you called on a Saturday or I would have probably missed your call."

"In that case, I'm really glad I saw your postcard Lisa, see you later, bye." Well, it's not perfect, but beggars can't be choosers...just have to wait and see if she's crazy or not...and how big of a dump her place is. I mean, get real. For that price it has to be pretty bad. I can probably tell what her place is like by the way she looks and dresses.

My day is busy as usual and the time flies by. Counting my tips lifts my spirits knowing I pocketed ten dollars and fifty cents in tips, plus nine dollars in wages by the time Lisa shows up right at two-thirty. Standing near the entrance refilling ketchup bottles at the counter, I'm also keeping an eye out for Lisa. When I noticed the young woman in faded skin tight jeans and long brown hair in a single braid looking around the cafe, I ask, "Are you Lisa?"

"Yes, Kendra? Nice to meet you," she says, with a friendly smile lighting up her face.

"Let's go sit at a booth. It's slow right now and I have a break due," I tell her and lead the way across the checkered tile floor to the last booth facing out to the street. The daily specials are brightly painted on the windows and red checkered tablecloths cover all the tables. Everything is neat and clean, showing pride of ownership. Even though I don't own the cafe, that it is so nice makes it more pleasant to work here. Before sitting I ask Lisa, "Would you like anything to drink? Coffee or a soda?"

"Do you have iced tea?"

"Yep, be right back."

Preparing two glasses of iced tea my thoughts are positive, so far so good. She's really nice...and her clothes are clean.

Sitting down to talk, my first words reflect my humor at this situation. "Well, I've never done this before, so what are we supposed to talk about?"

"To tell you the truth, I've never done this before either. It just seemed like a smart thing to do before I let someone move into my bedroom," Lisa replies and we both laugh.

The shared laugh eases my tensions, and I'm starting to think this was the right thing at the right time for me. It's been a long time since I felt this hopeful. "Well, I work about ten hours a day here Tuesday through Saturday, I'm here from six in the morning until four in the afternoon. On average I've been bringing home about three hundred and fifty dollars a months with tips. That can vary a little depending on the tips of course, plus I can eat here for free. So I'm pretty confident I can make the rent. How much are the bills?"

"The electric and phone are pretty steady at thirty a month, so fifteen a piece give or take," Lisa replies.

"Anything you want to ask me?"

Lisa didn't pause but for just a second before saying, "Well, probably the biggest thing is since the place is so small, I don't think it'd work to bring guys over. Would that be a deal breaker for you? Also, I can't do cigarettes."

"Oh no, I hate cigarettes too and I'm married but he's gone—so no dates for me. He joined the Army to fight in the war. I'm not sure exactly where he's at now. He said something about training in California...I haven't heard a word from him in over a month since he left. He left in such a huff, I really have no idea where in California he is, or if he's already gone overseas. I don't have a clue when he'll get back, but when he does I'd move back with him of course." I knew the moment I said it, that it was probably way more than she wanted to hear about.

"Wow, that's a bummer, he actually willingly joined?"

"Yeah, I tried my best to talk him out of it...but all that did was make him mad."

"Wow, I haven't known anyone who volunteered," Lisa says, obviously trying to not looked too shocked.

"Yeah, we had a big argument the day he left. I guess that's why I haven't heard from him since he walked out the door mad at me for just trying to get him to stay home."

"I'm sorry Kendra, that must be tough."

"It was at first. Now I guess I'm used to it, and actually life is quieter and smoother with him gone...it's a long story," I tell her.

"I can imagine. Well, maybe not exactly, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah, sadly I do. He sure changed after we married though, that's something I can't figure out."

Shifting the discussion back to business, Lisa says, "You're just the kind of person I was hoping to share my place with, so I'm ready to give it a shot if you are. Let's just agree that if for some reason it doesn't work out you'll have to move out after a months notice so you can find somewhere else. Is that okay?"

"Since it's your place, I think that's a fair deal."

"When do you want to move in?"

"I'm paid up to the end of next week where I'm at, so if I could start moving some things in a few days before that, hows that sound?"

"That works, you can even start moving some things this week if you want. I'm at the university almost all day, but I'm home most week nights. One thing though, do you have a bed? I only have the one twin bed now."

"We rented a furnished place when Bobby and I moved here from up near San Angelo, so I'll have to buy a bed. We don't have much stuff though—not sure what to do with his junk," I reply with the wheels already in motion about how to pull off the move.

"The building I live in is a fourplex, and each of us has a small storage space in a shed in the backyard...you could put some stuff in there. I'm not using it at all," Lisa offers.

"Perfect! If you have time, maybe I could walk back to your place and have a look just to be sure it will work for us both. Like I said, I've never done a roommate thing so it'd be best to make sure it'll work first," I ask, relieved that things finally seem to be falling into place for a change.

"Of course, I was enjoying our conversation so much I forget all about you needing to see the place before committing."

Taking a pad and pen from her purse, Lisa jotted down the address and her phone number. Handing it to me she asked, "What's your phone number?"

"Actually, I let it go when finances got tight. You can call me here though if you need to." Taking her pad and pen, I give her the cafe's phone number and the address of the dump I'm living in until I move. Pushing the note pad back across the table, I tell her, "In case you need to find me. These are about the only places I'll be."

"Cool, I'm so glad you called. I'm looking forward to not coming home to an empty apartment every night," Lisa said, scooting out of the booth to leave. It's impossible to not notice that she isn't wearing a bra, I had already noticed a lot of young women did that here. I tried to not look, but her teeshirt was pretty thin and I guess it's just normal curiosity to have a glance or two.