Greetings Gentle Readers!
I'm bored.
Molly and Heather are having a spot of difficulty right now, and we don't know how that will turn out. We haven't gotten to the point in time yet where Jenny and Allie will take in a foster child. Jocelyn and Ben are off somewhere (probably snogging, or gasp! even shagging) and we don't know what's going on with them until they come back and tell us about it. There's trouble brewing in Reading (the one in Pennsylvania, of train fame, not the one in England) and that is likely to turn out badly.
All of this is to say that we need an entertaining diversion. Hence, the current - whatever this is...............................
RANDOM WANDERINGS
Some people in life know exactly where they are going, exactly how to get there, and execute flawlessly. Some people know exactly where they are going, but they totally fuck up the getting there part. Some people have no fucking clue where they are going but somehow end up on top of the world anyway. Some people don't give a fuck where they are going or where the fuck they even are at the moment. Some people have nothing better to do with their lives than to read drivel like this - I hope you're not one of them, but then that begs the question of why you are reading this drivel.
This story may or may not be about one or more of the people above described. In fact, I don't know what it will be about. Because this is what happened:
DD Jay, of the famed couple FnD, has a cousin named Keisha. When Keisha heard about the engagement of FnD, her mother and aunt (DeeDee's mom) were trash talking the same sex couple and commenting about what an abomination it was. At that point, Keisha went ballistic on her mom and took her to task for being judgmental, uncharitable, unchristian, and a few other rather crude descriptive terms. And then Keisha decided to take that opportunity to announce that she herself was a lesbian. After which, she called FnD and appointed herself to be in charge of planning their wedding.
She had great fun doing it, and in the process met (and developed a slight crush on) Fiona's sister, Amelia. Sadly, Amelia is straight. And though Keisha was theoretically aware of Lesbian Rule #1 (don't fall in love with a straight girl), she may or may not have violated it. But fortunately for her, Amelia has a best friend, Kate, who is gay and who has had a crush on Fiona for quite some time now.
So Amelia has agreed to set Keisha up with Kate. But we don't know if Kate is Keisha's type. We don't know if Keisha is Kate's type either. We really don't know anything about Kate because we haven't met her yet. We only know what Amelia has told us, which is that 'Kate is totally cool.' And that could mean anything. So Keisha is very eager to meet Kate and get answers to all these uncertainties that we have floating around.
But this is where Keisha has made a tactical error. She asked DawnDuckie to write her story. BIG MISTAKE! Because DawnDuckie is actually really lazy, not very imaginative and a terrible writer. Keisha only did this because DawnDuckie wrote her cousin's story, and they both have the same first initials (really bad reason, I know.) Which means that this story is almost certainly going to go off the rails. The only possible hope for this story, and more importantly, Keisha's love life, is that You Dear and Gentle Readers will step in and save it. So DawnDuckie started this story, left it in a mess, and then went off to drink Redd's hard cider and practice her dobro (typical Jenny move, really), but at least left some instructions about how to finish it.
------- INSTRUCTIONS -------
- voting on the story has been disabled; nobody cares if it's any good;
- anonymous comments will be completely ignored, nobody cares about the opinions of people who are not willing to put their name to it;
- suggestions from You Dear and Gentle Readers for the next chapter are an absolute requirement, there will be no next chapter if we don't know what it will be about;
- contributions of actual text toward the next chapter will be even better;
- if you introduce a new character, then you need to also do all the development for her/him/zie/zim/they, and you'd better do a good job of it;
- I don't care if you randomly drag in characters from my other stories, but if you drag in characters from other author's stories you'd better get their permission first;
- any characters you invent for this, I might steal for something in the future;
- I'm more likely to pay attention to people who have left nice comments for me in the past; yeah, that's petty and selfish but I don't care, it's my story and that's just the way it's gonna be;
- I'd really like help editing and proofreading the future chapters, volunteers?
---- THE ACTUAL STORY NOW ------
Keisha was excited for a multitude of reasons. The most obvious was that school was out for the summer and the wedding was over. Not only that, but with Fiona's guidance she had absolutely killed her independent study project, got an A+ on it, and raised her GPA up above a 3.0. It was only barely above 3.0, at a 3.02, but it was above and that's all she cared about. That wasn't really all she cared about; the most important reason she was excited is because she had high hopes of getting laid this weekend.
Keisha was still a virgin, and entirely by choice. She'd had plenty of opportunities in the last few years, but those had all been with guys - and we know how she feels about guys. So maybe it wasn't entirely by choice, because she hadn't had any opportunities with girls. But now her friend Amelia was going to finally introduce her to Kate. Keisha was going over to visit them in South Bend, where Amelia was going to school. Kate might also be going to school there, Amelia had been a bit vague on that point, saying only that they were room mates.
Keisha didn't believe that still being a virgin at 20 was catastrophic, most of the people who went to her family's church insisted on waiting until they were married before having sex. Keisha was skeptical that they actually practiced what they preached, but whatever. What was more important to Keisha was finding the right person; she didn't want to hook up with some rando just for the sake of a quickie. What she wanted is a real, loving, lifetime relationship like FnD had - except without the 12 years of drama that went with that before they had gotten to the 'happily ever after' part. So she was a little nervous, no, make that a lot nervous, about whether Kate was going to be someone that she could fall in love with. Love At First Sight would be really convenient, because then they could quickly jump in bed together without all that messy heartbreak stuff first.
Keisha was a firm believer in Love At First Sight because she was only 20, and because she read a lot of lesbian sex stories on Literotica. She didn't like the slow burn romances, there was way too much talking and stuff that happened first, before getting to the good part. It was a lot better if you could just fall in love, jump in bed and have mind-blowing, wildly satisfying sex, and then live happily ever after - preferably all in the same day. Keisha was only 20. She was really looking forward to meeting Kate tomorrow.
----
Keisha arrived at their apartment just a little after noon on Friday. Amelia was expecting her and waiting for her.
"Hey girlfriend! Come on in," Amelia greeted her at the door.
"Amelia, it's great to see you! Thanks for letting me come visit. I so needed to get away for a couple days. These last several month have just stressed me out."
"Tell me about it! At least we finally got FnD married off. God, I was starting to worry that would never happen."
"I know, right?"
"So like I said, we don't have a spare bed, so you'll have to crash on the couch. Ya know, until Kate invites you to share hers," Amelia grinned knowingly at her.
Keisha blushed, "Uh yeah. The couch is fine, that's cool."
"So just dump your stuff wherever, probably over there behind the couch. I gotta be at work at 4, and the bar won't close until 2 so it will be sometime after that when I get home. Which means you get Kate all to yourself tonight. I think she gets done at 5."
"OK. What do you guys usually do for supper? I could cook something," Keisha offered.
"That would be cool. I'll get something at the bar. And Kate just scarfs up anything that's laying around usually. But yeah, you could cook something nice for her."
"OK, what does she like?"
"Her? She will eat anything. Literally. But I don't think we have much here, so you'd have to get groceries. I'd do something quick and easy though, like hamburgers."
"Hamburgers isn't cooking. Alright, I'll see what's here and figure something out."
-----
Keisha decided on pork chops with fried potatoes and cheesy broccoli. It was a very easy meal to do, and one she was very good at.
When Kate got home, she barely introduced herself to Keisha before going straight to the bathroom and spending 45 minutes in the shower. Kate did seem to appreciate Keisha's cooking, if you were to judge by the vigor with which she ate; but not if you were to judge by any verbal expression of gratitude. She said merely "Damn, this is really good. Thanks."
It wasn't Love At First Sight. Keisha decided that Kate was kind of a bitch. She was a smart-ass, dressed like a slob, had butchy purple hair, and treated Keisha as if she were a naive virgin. OK, maybe Keisha was a naive virgin, but that didn't mean she wanted to be treated like one. Her chances of getting laid this weekend were reduced to something you'd need an electron microscope to measure.
And then a little after 8, Kate summarily announced that she was going to bed. And then went to bed.
Saturday wasn't much better. When Keisha woke up in mid-morning, Kate had already left to go off doing whatever it is that she did. So Keisha spent most of the day with Amelia. Although the two of them had worked together closely on the wedding, they really hadn't done anything else together. Keisha was happy for the opportunity to spend some time with Amelia just for the fun of it, but she wasn't getting any closer to getting laid.
But Kate did insist on taking her out to a club on Saturday night where, Kate assured her, she could have her choice of the hottest chicks in the surrounding four states. Hooking up with some rando for mindless sex wasn't Keisha's idea of a successful night out, but she did like dancing. And unlike her cousin Dawn, who couldn't dance to save her life, Keisha was quite good.
Keisha had danced ballet from the age of 5 up until she was 14, when she was very rudely informed that black girls have no chance of a professional ballet career. She had been gently informed a few hundred times before that, and firmly informed several dozen times, and brusquely informed at least 9 times, but she refused to believe it until she was very rudely informed. At that point, she focused on modern dance and decided that she would go on tour with Beyonce instead. Beyonce hadn't been consulted about that.
What Keisha wasn't good at, was drinking. She shouldn't have been drinking in the first place because she was only 20. Then, with as much dancing as she was doing, she really should have been drinking a lot of water instead of Fuzzy Navels. But alas, has any 20 year old ever done the smart thing? You Dear and Gentle Readers will not be surprised, but everyone else in the club was, when Keisha nearly passed out and became quite incapacitated from the combination of alcohol, dehydration, and exertion. In particular, Kate was quite put out at having to recover Keisha and take her back home. Because Kate had been doing really quite nicely with an 18 year old freshman at Notre Dame (who had absolutely no business even being in the club) with a very appealing bosom and cute freckles.
Keisha's chances of getting laid this weekend have now diminished to a point where a scanning tunneling microscope will be needed for detection. Kate is nothing, if not a smart-ass, and so at 6am on Sunday morning she cranked up that Kris Kristofferson classic. Keisha woke up on Sunday morning, with no way to hold her head that didn't hurt, to the sounds of:
Well I woke up Sunday morning, with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt
and the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert
Keisha was not amused. Kate was though.
"Hey Keisha, do you need a beer?" Kate poked her head under the blanket, under which Keisha was trying to hide.
"Fuck off you bitch. I'm dying."
"Come on out of hiding crybaby. Laying there wallowing in misery just makes it take longer to get over. I'm going to give you my as-yet-unpatented-but-really-should-be-sometime-soon hangover remedy." Kate pulled the blanket off and then drug Keisha off the couch, whence she splattered all over the floor.
"First thing, you're going to drink a lot of water. So much water that you're going to puke." Kate grabbed Keisha by the feet and drug her into the little kitchenette. She propped her up against the cupboard and started handing her glasses of water. "Drink."
