Ch Ch Ch Changes!

I awaken in Sarah's bed the next morning. I'm wearing a tee shirt of hers and my panties, I see my outfit from last night lying on the dresser in her room. She is fast asleep beside me so I use the quiet of the morning to reflect back on the events of last night, promising myself to try and be as analytical and detached from the overwhelming emotionality of it all.

I am, however, experiencing the last remnants of so many emotions: from terror to rage to relief. I know that the situation could have been much much worst, so I'm grateful for that. The little bit of Austin that is left in me is asleep - I can't feel his presence or hear his thoughts in my head right now, but I am feeling quite blessed that he was there last night. I'm not sure that my Liesl-self would have thought to turn to such... physicality.

While I'm not feeling outright terrified, as I had in the last few moments of my experience with that man (I won't ever say his name again), I do feel vulnerable in a way I'd never ever experienced as a man. I'd gotten a taste of vulnerability the night I walked to the club to go dancing with Sarah, but that had been nothing like what I experienced last night. I probably wasn't really less vulnerable as a guy, but I'd never been in a situation like last night, where the threat of harm was real and imminent. Last night's events made it so glaringly obvious that I could end up in a situation in which left me with no choice but to to fight or submit. I shudder despite my best efforts to remain detached. Had the situation gone beyond a knee to his groin I would have been very unlikely to escape - the new dent in the side of my poor little Honda a testament to his rage. One thing I really really miss about being a guy is feeling strong (whether or not I really was) - I've noticed how much heavier my camera bag feels.

I also ponder the rage I felt, and to a lesser degree still feel. Knowing a predator is out there, one who is seeking vulnerable people much like myself makes my cheeks burn; my father always told me I had an overdeveloped sense of justice. The first thing I will do on Monday morning is to contact Sadie, Dr. Finch, and Mr. Dante to let them know about what happened - 'that man' is out there hunting - he's dangerous and shouldn't be trusted. I have a feeling that Dr. Finch and Mr. Dante will ask me if I want to go to the police. I mull this over for awhile, but decide against it. I definitely don't want the attention that will likely come with a police report. I'm also guessing that because he only came close to forcing himself on me I he might not even get charged, let alone convicted and punished - it's easy to imagine the entire episode would quickly become a 'he-said, she-said'. The one thing that calms my rage is knowing that the knee I gave him probably hurt him a lot - despite the fact that I don't have testicles anymore, it isn't difficult to recall the intense, and overwhelming pain that I'd experienced on the few occasions when mine had been 'mishandled'.

I'll ask Sarah about a self-defense course and whether she's ever taken one. Perhaps I should carry some pepper spray too? I toy with the idea of getting a handgun, Arizona is the wild west when it comes to guns and I wouldn't be alone in having one. The thought of just being able to brandish a gun at 'the narcissist' makes me smile, I bet he'd have pissed himself! Ultimately, the associated dangers of having a gun worry me more than dealing with the likes of my personality-disordered date.

While stepping through the events of the evening I identify my two biggest mistakes: not trusting my intuition more when it so clearly was signaling danger, and then leaving the protection of the public space of the restaurant. Lesson one, trust my gut. Lesson two, don't make a bad situation worst! I could have easily made a scene in the lobby; if he didn't leave at that point I'm sure someone in the restaurant would have walked me to my car or called the police.

I resolve to make an appointment with the psychologist, Dr. Petterson as well, and not just to inform her of the predator in our small, odd clan. I know I need more support in my life - Sarah has been the most amazing friend to me and I think, no, I KNOW, that she'll keep doing whatever it takes to be there for me, but I don't want to burden her like that. A psychologist can deal with my issues, I'll let Sarah deal with my makeup and be my wingman when we go dancing.

I feel Sarah shift in the bed next to me. She turns on to her side and I see her breast slip out of the loose-fitting, satiny slip she's wearing. I realize that while she's seen me completely naked this is the first time I've ever seen more that what her bikinis reveal. Her breasts are bigger, proportionately than mine. She has a large pink nipple that sort of blends in with the pale skin of her breast. Her mousy blonde hair is really mussed and looks remarkably sexy as she dreams - I can see her eyes shifting rapidly under her closed lids. Her lips, her gorgeous lips are slightly parted. I vividly recall the combined guilt and desire I'd always felt when I'd daydream about what those lips would have felt like on my cock.

I roll onto my side so that I'm facing her and enjoy the way the diffused, soft light of the Sunday morning sun spills across the bed and illuminates her. I wonder if I was an idiot to have never tried to date her, realizing that I had squandered an opportunity to be with such an amazing person. In hindsight I'm now in a better place for not having dated her as I'm sure I'd have fucked it up somehow and I wouldn't have her as the friend I so desperately need now.

I doze off for a few moments, reopening my green eyes as she rouses and meets my gaze with her blue eyes. We don't say a word but communicate volumes, her eyes smiling more than her lips. I could look at her face in all its compassion and kindness for the rest of the morning. I can smell her scent in the sheets and in her hair - not perfume, not shampoo - the wonderful scent of a clean healthy body, subtle and alluring. I feel my nipples stiffen under the thin cotton of Sarah's 'Disney Magic' tee shirt that she put me in last night. I don't want to do anything to ruin things with her so I just lie there.

Sarah, her breast still visible, reaches out and I feel her gently stroke my cheek, brushing away the hair that is partially hiding my face. The gentle caress of her finger on my cheek chases away any remaining nastiness I'd been carrying since last night. I'm pretty sure she senses that as my lips curling gently into a smile. My heart beats faster in my chest.

She pulls herself closer to me, the length of her body just touching mine. Sarah looks deeply into my eyes and I feel myself swoon and grow dizzy as I get lost in her gaze. I'm not at all surprised when she presses her lips to mine, removing her hand from my cheek and dropping it to my arm. I return her kiss, my eyes close and I feel as though I'm weightless as the gentle kiss evolves, our lips sliding over one and other. Her scent fills my nose. She slides her free arm around me, pressing her body closer to mine.

I reach out and find her gorgeously rounded hip, letting my hand explore the curve of her hip and ass as the kiss evolves. The kiss evolves slowly from tender and innocent to a smoldering passion. I feel her tongue graze across my lips and I part them, wanting to feel her explore my mouth. She responds so perfectly as I feel her tongue press softly into my mouth, its touch so delicate and light that it almost tickles when our tongues meet.

I remember when I'd start making out with one of my girlfriends in the before-time, I always felt like I couldn't wait for the next step, wanting to feel her breasts a moment after the first kiss, wanting to slip a finger into her after I'd unhooked her bra, wanting to bury myself deep in her just moments after we'd started. I feel no such urgency now, feeling like we could go on just kissing and holding each other like this for as long as we desired and then finish or move on. The pressure I'd always felt as I grew harder and harder replaced by the intimate warmth of this smoldering passion.

Even as that thought flitters through my head I feel Sarah gently slide her body over mine, nudging me gently onto my back under her kisses. Her hair cascades around us creating an intimate, steamy canopy around our faces. I reach up and cup her soft face as we kiss, feeling her breasts on mine. My legs pressed together I feel a tingle deep in my sex and I know I'm growing slick with desire for Sarah. Her hand slides up my side, slowly cupping my breast, so gentle, so unlike the way I used to grope women. Her fingers find my nipple and I feel the tingle in my pussy connect to my nipple. So much more of my body feels like it's a sexual organ now; before sexual feelings came from my dick, my balls, and sometimes from my ass. Now I feel like so much of this new body is delivering sexual pleasure to me. She caresses me with expert passion as I feel my nipple harden even more, growing longer under her smooth petting.

We haven't said a word when Sarah pulls herself up and slides out of the satin night shirt, her rounded, full breasts flushed and her nipples now much darker than when I first glimpsed them. I sit up too, make quick work of my shirt and press my lips to her nipple. I'm smiling with delight as I lick across the hard, long nipple and feel her areola contract, thicken, and winkle when the wet traces my tongue leaves evaporate and cool her skin. I suckle one, then the other, looking up at her beautiful face. She's smiling, clearly enjoying this. My hands find her hips, I feel her move them, sliding her leg over mine and now straddling me as my best friend and I make love.

I love the feeling of Sarah's weight on my pelvis as I suckle her. My hands slide down along her hourglass shape to her hips, I feel the satiny material of the waistband of her thong, then the perfectly soft smooth skin of her full bottom. The feel of her nipples as I pull them gently into my mouth is both incredibly sexual and comforting. I feel her hips starting to move back and forth and know that she's feeling the same longing in her pussy that I am. My hands move gently across her ass, the curves fitting my hands like they'd been molded together, my finger tips gently brushing along the length of the divide between her cheeks. I lick the skin of her breasts and hear her breathing get faster, louder.

I desperately want to make Sarah happy. I slide down on to the bed so that I'm lying flat on my back. I look up at her, her breasts hanging and the black of her satiny thong filling the foreground of my view while her flushed and excited face looks down at me. She senses what I want - though I'm sure it's what she wants too - and stands just enough pull the thong down her legs. She's got a few days of stubble there. Her labia are large, and clearly wet with the anticipation she's harboring. I slide farther down while she moves up and grasps the cherry frame of the bed's headboard. Her delightfully smooth thighs on either side of my head, I press my lips to her sex and kiss it repeatedly, then slowly slip my tongue into the wet slippery folds. My hands reaching up to again enjoy the curves of her ass.

She lowers herself a bit, pressing her pussy to my lips as I run my tongue slowly up and down the length of her. I'd loved this position as a guy and nothing at all has changed. I start to focus on the area around her clitoris, dancing around it as softly as I can manage with her trying to push it again my mouth. The delicate, musky scent of her sex and cum is so pleasant, so primal, so inviting that I'm glad I have to breath through my nose as I tease the hard little bump. She moans loudly and I grip her ass firmly, trying to rock her on my face as I tongue her.

I can see her hands and forearms strain as she tightens her grip on the headboard. Her breasts bounce gently as she rides my face. I think she's getting close, I start to slide in in closer and closer to her clit, while I simultaneously manage to get my hands up to Sarah's heavy breasts. I find her nipples, tugging, twisting, teasing them as I flick my tongue faster and faster. Her orgasm starts as a low growl, coming from deep in her diaphragm and quickly rises till she's crying out loudly, a feminine wail of ecstasy. Her thighs rapidly clench my head between them, as I feel her try to pull her overly sensitized clitoris from my tongue. I see her face flushed and reddened, her eyes squeezed shut. Her breasts feel so wonderful in my hands, the nipples poking into my palms.

Her thighs are really strong though, I take the hint and stop. Her entire body seems to relax at once and she slides her naked body next to mine. Sarah looks at me a bit bashfully, I wonder if she's embarrassed at how she just let her go with me. I kiss her lips softly, barely grazing them, feeling her hot breath on my face even as her breathing is slowly slowing.

She moves us slowly, organically until she's the big spoon, despite the fact that she's shorter than I am. I feel her breasts against my back, her body curled up and pressed tightly against mine. Sarah pulls my hair away from my neck and face, I feel her taste me there, her lips and mouth grazing my skin with no more force than the breath she exhales. The little hairs on my neck prickle... goosebumps form. Her hand slides slowly up my my waist, to my ribs; it finds my breast, then my nipple. In seconds I realize just how much pleasure an expert can administer to my new, never touched breasts. She dances between pulling, twisting, rubbing, and pinching me, each change dumping what I imagine are massive doses of endorphins.

As she's toying with me I close my eyes, delighting in the new sensations I'm experiencing. The warmth of her body against mine, the way her breasts feel against my back, the tingling and slippery feel that makes my pussy ache for her touch. She's so slow and deliberate as she makes love to me, after long minutes of this I begin to feel like a musical instrument, in part because I hear my soft, feminine moans elicited at the whim of her hand. I feel her slide her hand down again, along my belly, to the top of my panties.

My eyes widen... I think I'm done with my first period, but still have a pad there, I'm just not at all sure! I grasp her hand, stopping her progress. The first thing Sarah says to me is "I know... it's ok" And I know it is ok... my trust in her is without reserve, I release my grasp and feel it slip under the light fabric, through the thin thatch of dark hair, to my pussy.

'Oh god' I think to myself as she slides a pair of fingers along either side of my vagina, even that area is wet with my cum. She then lets those fingers wander across my labia with perfect pressure, seeming to take forever before she slips into my fold and runs her petite fingers along my length, over the thin barrier of my hymen, and up to the achingly sensitive bud of my clit. She starts to tease me as I had just been teasing her, giving the sensitive spot a wide birth that brings a gentle pleasure that only makes me want more and more and more. I feel so wet down there, I can hear the slick squish of my new parts as she starts to rub harder...

I feel her pull her left arm from under me, then push me onto my back, her right hand still playing my pussy like she's fingering the strings of a Stradivarius. The short messy bob of her hair is as sexy as her breasts that sway under her. She leans down and starts to kiss her way down my neck, to my shoulder, across the swell of my breast, and after far too long finally arrives at a nipple. The feeling of my impending orgasm is burns brighter and brighter in my consciousness - as a guy I'd tried to fight it off, to buy a few ore seconds, or one more thrust before I'd plateau - but I don't feel any need to put it off or hold back. Sarah bites down on my nipple, harder than expected, it's shocking but it sets me off and I feel my body's climax wash over me. I cry out, my hands shooting to stop her from completely overwhelming my clit. I hear myself whimpering like a puppy.

I feel Sarah lay down beside me, she's on her left side, and slides her bent right leg on to my hip, her right arm stretched across my chest, her nose pressed to the side of my face. Doves coo outside her window as we doze off.

When I awake mid afternoon Sarah is gone. I check my phone and see that's she texted, 'had to go to my volunteer gig at the hospital. xoxox' She's helping sick children while I'm snoozing. Nope, no guilt here!

I also notice that I never opened the text from 'the predator', the one he sent right before we walked to my car. It consists of only his digital address book entry. I open it up and can't help but laugh when I see that it includes a photo. It's a dick pic, and like so many dick pics in the world it isn't flattering in the least. I'm assuming he is hard in the picture, but its difficult to tell - he appears to have an abnormally thin little ding-a-ling that has a significant bend in it. I delete the pic but add the card to my address book after I consider blocking his number. I want to know if he is trying to get to contact me again. Thankfully he doesn't know where I live and while I don't know for sure, I feel that his chapter in my story is over. If it isn't over, at least now I have his address!

I'm really comfortable lying in her bed and decide to enjoy the afternoon, guilt or not. I take the time to read the letter Sadie gave me about her experiences. It doesn't reveal anything unexpected, though it does confirm that her transmogrification was much more difficult. She experienced considerably more pain and sickness from the magic, but that pales in comparison to her disastrous entanglement with 'the narcissist'. He wasn't as overtly psychopathic then as he was with me, even professing some feelings for her (though I must consider that a confession like that could have been just another manipulation of his). It's clear from reading her story though that she wasn't ready for a lover, even had that lover been a kind and considerate man. So when 'the narcissist' fucks her in his brutal, loveless style she's left hurt and confused. All that pain is compounded many fold when she ends up missing her next period - the way she writes about it leaves me wondering if she'd thought of committing suicide.

I briefly consider what I'd do if I found myself pregnant right now - alone, having never for one minute in my life considered being pregnant, and dealing with all the other changes of the transmogrification. I quickly realize that she probably was thinking about it, because my mind almost instantly goes there too. Her story confirms it, briefly describing a stay on a psychiatric unit and the social worker who helped her start to recover. She leaves the hospital in better shape and with support from Dr. Finch and lots of treatment with Dr. Petterson her mood brightens and her life starts to rebuild, ending the part of her story that she has shared with me.

On Monday morning I make calls to Dr. Finch, Mr. Dante, and Sadie, reporting on the events of Friday evening. Mr. Dante is shocked, apologizing to me multiple times and sounds genuinely distressed by his part in setting us up. I need to remind him that he was manipulated just as I was and that he'd been working under the belief that he was helping me. Sadie and Dr. Finch aren't surprised in the least, but are thankful for warning. Dr. Finch tells me that she's met another one of my 'cohort' a man she was alerted to during his stay on a psychiatric unit. She doesn't add anything else, but the implicit message is that we changelings start our new lives in an exceedingly delicate state. I call Dr. Petterson to schedule that first appointment with her.