March 14th, 2012
Dear Diary,
It's been over a week since my girlfriend Britt and I reconciled at Billy (douchbag!) Fredrickson's kegger. Since that night, we have been fucking like rabbits in a Viagra test lab. Experimenting with kink charting well into unexplored sexual territory for either of us, we keep getting deeper in this together as we push the boundaries of our own sexuality. In step with our sexual progression, I can feel my love for her grow exponentially.
Last Saturday night might have been the single hottest sexual experience of my life. Although, today might have topped it, but more on that later. It all started this morning, when Britt suggested we visit an adult bookstore/sex toy shop that we've had under surveillance for a few days. Britt found a receipt in her dad's stuff for some dirty mags he had bought there, which led to the idea we should visit ourselves. She joked while telling me all about it, "Who in 2012 buys magazines? He is such a nerd."
I giggled saying, "Yeah, can't he jerk off to the internet like the rest of us?"
Being two 18-year-old girls, we weren't well versed in these types of establishments, so naturally we just chose the first place we had heard of, without any thought as to what type of people would be there. It was late afternoon when I hopped into Britt's jeep, she giggled asking, "Are you sure we are ready for this?"
The place was called "The Power of Love", which amused us both to no end as we sang the cheesy Huey Lewis song the whole way there to check it out.
"Babe, the power of love is a curious thing." I sang, laughter halting my off-key singing.
"We definitely will need a credit card to ride this train." Britt said with a big smile while holding up her dad's pilfered credit card. She continued, "I have found enough of his receipts from buying pornos there that my "saintly" dad won't even notice a few extra purchases."
Laughing, I grabbed the credit card from her hand while commenting, "Guess your dad missed the memo on free internet porn. He must not check your browser history."
Swinging her hand out, Britt hit my arm playfully and proclaimed in mock outrage, "Hey! I resemble that remark!"
Feeling giddy from mutual embarrassment, we pulled into the parking lot of The Power of Love. It was a bland slightly dilapidated appearing building with just the right amount of neglect to reflect its sleazy nature. Our curiosity and our youthful high libidos motivated us to keep moving despite our apprehensions about where they had led us. We slinked into the store where we both were immediately mesmerized with the abundance of sex toys and aides on the walls. The place was dark and smelled musty like it had serious water damage in its recent past, but nothing was going to stop Britt and I. Bolstered by each other's presence, we wandered around the aisles giggling and holding up novelty items to joke about.
Britt lifted a very long two headed dildo and shook it at me, "Hey Kristie, you want to sword fight?"
Laughing, I grabbed my own phallic weapon and I stood in a fencing stance crying out a little too loud, "En Garde!"
Britt bounced into her own stance as we squared up, mock seriousness taking over our faces; we both struggled not to giggle. I leveled my gaze and quoted in a bad Spanish accent, "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die."
"Huh? Indigo what?" Britt questioned; her face almost comically contorted with her confusion.
"You have to be the only person on the planet who hasn't seen the Princess Bride. Look," I said pointing at the clerk. He was laughing quietly to himself at our antics, as I continued, "Even the pervy clerk at this place gets it and he probably hasn't watched a movie that doesn't have a double digit sequel to it since he started working here."
"Maybe not, but can you blame him? Chicks with Dicks 26 really gained momentum off the deep plot of Chicks with Dicks 25." Britt said before we both roared with laughter.
"I really wasn't sure those chicks had dicks and then bam! Dicks! It was a nail biter the whole time." I deadpanned before succumbing to my own raucous laughter.
Looking down simultaneously, we both realized we were gripping double headed dongs in our hands. Our mirth threatening to take us over, we almost dropped them as we clutched our sides. That was when I caught a glimpse of the door marked, "Must be 18 to enter." While lifting an eyebrow, I gave Britt a mischievous smile before suggesting, "I say we go in there. We are eighteen, we can legally smoke and vote; we are free to do what we want even if it's as poor a life choice as exploring the dicey backroom of a filth palace like this. Do you think there are people in there having sex?"
Britt hunched down, whispering as if people were listening to our conversation, "Maybe. I say we go in and find out. What is the worst that could be back there? A chick with a dick?"
Smiling broadly, I responded, "I can think of worse things... like a greasy man with a dick."