A Brand New Ball Game, Chapter 1
Copyright 2012, 2020 Lisa Summers
"Strike?" the blonde screamed. At me. With a really, really angry expression on her probably otherwise cute face. I glanced over at her only briefly. You never want to let the bleacher bums get to you when you're an umpire.
I shifted my feet tentatively, the ache easing a little as blood flowed back into my stressed arches. Standing on my feet all day in a science classroom, then earning a little extra cash after school at a girl's high school softball game, is neither a route to riches nor relaxation.
"Strike three!" I yelled with the next pitch, a fastball practically grooved down the center of the plate, as the batter stared dreamily at it.
"You fuc-" I heard, coming from the same part of the stands - no more than twenty feet away, and this time I stared intently, glared, really. You can yell at the ump, that's an age-old tradition, but obscenities? At a girls' game? That's just not right.
"If I hear you using obscenities again, I WILL throw you out of the game, ma'am," I said loudly.
The blonde looked to be about 35, cute for sure, especially since her face was now bright red, not with anger, but embarrassment. The brunette she was sitting with elbowed her, and laughed.
The game continued, the home team finally winning, and after the final out I began packing up my gear. There's only one umpire for these games, so, other than a face mask, chest protector and me, there's not much more to the officiating part. I signed the scorer's account of the game, and carried my stuff over to a dinged up red convertible 2005 Mustang that I really do love, even more than my cat Scheherazade. She's a little white persian.
After packing my gear away, I got in and started the car up, then drove through the unfamiliar parking lot to the exit. I turned a corner around a big-ass SUV just a little too sharply, and heard the shrill "skree" of metal rubbing on metal.
"Shit!" I said to myself, and got out to see what damage I'd caused. I'd clipped the fender on a new-ish looking SUV, leaving a short streak of red paint on it, but leaving it otherwise undamaged. There was a slight crease in the body of my car. As I inspected the dent, the driver of the other car got out - predictably, the blonde heckler, just a few inches taller than me, and a little more padded.
I braced myself for the expected "blind umpire" comments I was sure would soon arrive.
To my surprise, she was quite pleasant. "Oh, dear, I'm afraid I've made your day unpleasant again," she began. She kind of shook her head, her long, curly hair breaking across her shoulders like the waves at Maui hitting the sand. Not that I've ever been there.
I looked at her curiously.
"You weren't even moving," I pointed out. "I hit you."
"Yes, but look where I parked...see the line? I really have trouble with this big thing."
"I admire your honesty," I confessed. "It doesn't look as though your car was damaged, do you see anything?"
"No," she said, running a slim, bejeweled finger along the shiny chrome. She hesitated, then spoke.
"Look," she said. "I feel as though it was my fault. Can I pay you to have your car fixed? I'd rather it didn't go on my insurance."
"Wellllll, I could use some help in fixing it," I said. "On a teacher's pay, even a small repair is a bit much."
"Oh, where do you teach?" she asked, "here?" She looked at the modern school building at the other end of the lot.
"No, they don't let us umpire games at the same school we work at," I said. "I teach at St. Anselm's."
"Oh," she replied. "My friend's daughter goes here -- well, I guess you probably figured something like that out. She was the one who struck out when..." her voice trailing off.
I laughed. "Yeah, I thought it was something like that. She seems like a fine young lady. But you maybe shouldn't get so invested in your friends' kids."
"I can see some of my daughter in her -- she's in college. And I'm very proud of her."
"I'll be sure not to get in between you and your daughter," I said, with a slight smile.
She looked confused momentarily, then quickly recalled the events during the game, and laughed. She hesitated.
Then she said, "Would you be interested in going to the local coffee shop for something? Just in case there are undetected injuries from our collision?" I had to laugh at her wry smile. She looked a lot nicer when she was smiling, than when she was cursing me. Her blue eyes sparkled, and her white teeth looked just about perfect. She must have come from a wealthy family to have everything all lined out like that.
"Okay," I said. "As long as I get back home in time to feed my pussy." She looked startled.
"My Persian cat, Scheherazade," I said, laughing.
Let me make one thing clear. I've never thought I was gay. Yes, I'm single, never-been-married (and never really met the right guy), and while I think that most females have beautiful bodies, I've always been turned off by other women's cattiness and even viciousness. My mother was a horrible, horrible person and I've just never trusted women. It is what it is. But I DO enjoy leading other women on, sometimes -- not that I thought this one was lesbian either, or even bi -- I guess I was just tired and felt kind of wonky, otherwise I'd never had made the dumb 'pussy' joke.
Without skipping a beat, the blonde finished. "I love Persian pussies. The long, silky hair, the way they purr when you stroke them...everything but their snotty attitude. Oh, by the way, I'm Beth. Beth Armbruster." She held out her hand.