"I just can't believe it." Lana sighed, slumping on the table, cradling her drink. "I mean, both of our relationships ending on exactly the same day, craziness!"
"I know," I replied, half smiling about the odd timing of it all.
Lana had been dating this nerdy programmer for a few months now. He was someone who if he had just stayed a geeky, sci-fi obsessed, social awkward guy his whole life, would probably gotten along with Lana for much longer. Unfortunately, the tech industry in this town has the ability to shower these types with more money than they know what to do with, and eventually it goes to their heads. Jason slowly became self-obsessed and eventually Lana was no longer good enough for him. He broke up with her once he found someone "hipper", as he put it.
Lana had been heartbroken before. Just last year when she was 21 I slowly helped her recover from the man who she had finally lot her virginity to. And today, just like last year, I was shocked that men could turn away from a girl like Lana.
At 5'9", she stood above her last boyfriends. She had long legs, long blonde hair that now reached her low back, creamy white skin, round breasts that perfectly fit her figure.
Lana's downside was that she never had the confidence to show off her body in any way. Her clothes were usually a bit baggy, although cute in that indie sorta way. She carried herself with a slightly defeated slouch, which did not attract the sort of men that would have treated her right.
"How did it end with Erik?" Lana asked.
"Well," I slowly replied, spinning the plastic straw in my gin and tonic "I had a hunch he was cheating on me, so I called him and he flew off the rails. Called me an insecure bitch and that was that."
"Was it true? How could he cheat on you, you're beautiful?"
Lana's complement made me feel wonderful. Admittedly, I try hard to stay fit and attractive. I'm slightly shorter than Lana with dark olive skin and jet black hair, genetic gifts from my Indonesian-American parents.
"Thanks Lana... Ya know, even if it wasn't true it would have ended then and there. I can't stand being called a bitch, especially by someone I'm sleeping with."
"Wow," Lana replied, sounding proud "You have guts Maggie. I don't know if I could stand up to a guy like that, even if I had solid evidence."
"Don't say that Lana" I said, not wanting to enforce her defeated mindset. "You will bounce back, we both will. We just need a little time to regroup, and maybe shop for a little wardrobe that's a little more modern, that shows the boys what their missing when you walk buy them."
Lana blushed at the compliment. "Thanks, I don't know. I think right now I need another drink to start with." Lana faked a smile and flagged down the server to get another round.
"Really though Maggie, I think something is wrong with me."
"Nothing is wrong with you, Lan" I assured her, knowing where her train of thought was headed. "You just need to be confident in who you are, what you want, and to hell with everyone else."
"Maybe your right," Lana nodded. "I.. I just doubt myself all the time. It's hard for me to find purpose, even when I'm in a relationship."
"Your purpose should not be a relationship with some jackass. You just need to trust in yourself, find things that give you joy and let that be your purpose."
The server placed two fresh G&Ts on our table as we continued out conversation.
"Lana, listen, if you are truly feeling like you can't do this by yourself, maybe you need to talk with a counselor again."
"Ya, I think you might be right Maggie. This is just crushing, and I don't want to bring you down every time we hangout."
"You never bring me down Lan, you are my best friend and I just want you to be happy."
"Thanks," Lana smiled a genuine, glowing smile at me. "I got the number for a new therapist a few weeks ago, I might try it. Sounded a bit different from others I had been to. The first sessions sound like they are almost a retreat, of sorts."
"A retreat?" I asked, glad for her change of mood.
"Yes," Lana said, her mood improving as she shared with me. "It sounds like it takes most of the weekend, at least for the first month or so."
"Where would you stay?"
"Not sure, I haven't really looked into all the details because I thought I might improve, but after today the thought of getting away and getting a little personal help at the same time sounds really good."
"You know what, you're right Lan, that sounds perfect. You should do more research and let me know. If you are headed away for a weekend let me know."
"Of course I'll keep you posted. Not sure if I will go through with it, kinda depends on price, but I'll let you know."
"Thanks," I said. The server came and dropped off the check. "I got this." I said, grabbing the bill and leaving the appropriate cash on the table. Lana and I finished our drinks, stood up and gave each other a long hug. "You are doing great, I love you Lan"
"Love you too, Maggie. I've gotta catch the bus, but I'll see you soon, unless this retreat works out."
"Perfect" I said. Lana crossed the street to the bus stop and I walked towards my apartment.
A few days later I got a text from Lana
Hey Maggie-Looked into the retreat. It's all one-on-one work with a guide. Sounds like it is just on the other side of town. I won't be able to use my phone.
Great Lana, let me know how it goes!
A week later, I hadn't heard from Lana and I started to get nervous.
How was the retreat?
No response. So I waited a day and texted again.
Hey Lana, it's been a little while, hope everything went well.
Nothing. I started to get a little nervous, but by then it was Friday and if Lana was going to a second week of treatment then I would have to wait until Monday to hear anything, so I put it out of my mind and enjoyed my weekend.
On Monday evening I tried again.
Lana, hope you're OK. We should grab drinks and talk.
Later that night, I finally received a reply.
Hey Maggie, everything's fine! Let's meet at Neo's tomorrow afternoon, 4ish.
Great Lana, can't wait to hear about your sessions.
Getting her text was a relief. I didn't realize it until she replied that I had been a little nervous all week while Lana had been gone. But that's what happens when you care about your friends, I guess.
The following day I sat down at our usually seat outside on Neo's patio and wait for Lana.
When she finally arrived, my jaw nearly fell through the table.
As Lana walked through the bar area towards the patio she seemed to glide. She still wore the slightly baggy clothes I had come to expect, but she had accented her shirt with beautiful scarf. Her boots, new I presumed, ran the length of her lower legs, stopping just short of her knees meeting the plaid skirt. Gorgeous gold chain earrings hung almost to her shoulders. Her blonde hair radiated as she slid up the small stairs towards our table. Her posture was confident, purposeful. She was immaculate.
"Damn!" I said as Lana took her seat. "What happened to you, girl? You look... you look... well HOT!" I said excitedly, still blown away that this was the same dorky girl I had known for years.
"Thank you," Lana said, slightly nodding her head politely.
This too caught me off guard, Lana being prim and proper, what the hell?!
"So obviously something changed." I asked excitedly.
"Well... I guess I have finally started to connect with true self." Lana replied, her voice slightly aloof.
"Come on Lana, spill it- what was this retreat all about?"
Lana did not answer, but instead shifted the conversation
"This gin and tonic is superb today, I wonder if they used different gin?"
I tried to gather as much information as I could from my friend, but her responses were vague and did not shed light on Lana's obvious change of personality.
She kept switching topics to the weather, my job, her job, the changes on the happy hour menu. Lana just wasn't being open about the last two weeks.
Lana did tell me that the retreat was really just private, uninterrupted sessions with a councilor. She didn't tell me where these private sessions were held nor did she tell me the name of the councilor. Lana also did not elaborate at all on the counseling methodology or any of the focus areas of these private sessions with this mysterious councilor. The all thing I got from Lana was that she was finally starting to connect with herself and find some inner purpose.
"Well, Lana, I think that is great. You look amazing and you are obviously happy. What ever your sessions are doing, it works."
"Thanks Maggie," Lana shot me a beautiful, caring look. "I'll share more when I can, it's just right now everything is... well... everything is just so personal right now. I hope you understand."
"Of course," I couldn't help but smile back, even though I was slightly frustrate at her lack of openness with me. "Now, does the new Lana want to pick up the check." I giggled as I asked the question. Lana giggled too, but only briefly. The old Lana would have laughed loudly and probably snorted, but today Lana was so collected, so in control.
We parted ways, promising to keep in touch throughout the week. I went home and tried to digest the reality of my best friend.
Lana was changing, and in many ways I was happy and excited for her. But she had never been so reserved with me before, it didn't quite settle with me. I tried to push it out of my mind, trusting that she just needed time and she would share when she was ready.
Another week went by and I didn't hear from her. The next week she responded to a text, but couldn't meet up because she was exhausted. She did tell me that having all her weekend time spent in private sessions was starting to make her tried during the workweek.
