We sat that evening with legs up on the couch sipping wine, more content than I can ever remember, staring into each other's eyes. No words passed between us but a knowingness held us in awe of what we had just experienced. I had to remind myself that it was just a sex act. But, it transformed me in such a way that I can never imagine myself the same again. I am sure Sophie was thinking exactly the same. We were like two explorers that had first sight of an unimagineable treasure knowing that we were the only two people in the word that knew of its existence.
Our relationship started about 3 months ago, not long after Sophie hired me to be her research assistant. I had just completed my psychology degree with honours. After all that study I was very keen to be involved in some real research. Although, I had always been attracted to other women, I considered myself straight.
Well, that changed when Sophie sitting opposite me at her desk lent forward. Her top fell forward showing me her pert breasts neatly tucked into her bra. I felt a strong pull of sexual attraction. At first, I rationalised that it was really the teacher - student or boss - worker relationship that was the cause of my attraction. But it was during one of these sessions that she looked up and smiled as she caught me looking down the front of her top. My face immedately went bright red with embarassment. My secret longing exposed.
That first night back in her apartment sitting on the very same couch sipping wine was my first awakening to the carnal pleasures that Sophie introduced me too over the next few months.
It started innocently enough with kisses and soft touches but after a few weeks I became her clay that she moulded into more and more creative designs. I was intoxicated with her and willingly ceded all control to her. I became her toy, her object of desire, her canvas. She held me in an almost constant state of arousal. I loved her and I loved the work. However, neither of us could have guessed how our affair and our research would intersect.
Part of our research involved the study of self-image and how the mind creates and maintains a conception of self through the awareness of our physical and emotional existence with our memories. As we develop from child to adult into old age and as our knowledge and experiences expand we still retain the same conception of self. It is like everything about us can change except our notion of self.
Sophie happened to be reading a paper from a fellow researcher which gave her an idea. She decided to experiment on me. She asked me for permission and smiled as she mentioned that it would involve a sex act. I laughed. I was more than willing.
Sophie informed me that our experimental love making session would be in the laboratory and that it would be recorded with our equipment. This time I nodded my consent since I had come to trust her completely and also because I didn't want to show how much the idea of being able to watch us together excited me.
But first she said that she needed to train me, that I must follow everything she says without question. At this point my admiration for her grew even more. How did she know that above all else I secretly desired being her sex slave? But I couldn't bring myself to verbally acknowledge it, I just went along with it.