Books kept piling in. Between midterms week and being just a few weeks from too-close-for-comfort finals, it seemed like every person on Triton's campus had at least five books to return, or check out, or both. Somehow Raelanna had managed to keep the stream of materials in order, but just barely. Though she shouldn't complain. Her coach made a few calls to put her on the shortlist for the clerk position. Immediately after the interview, a staff worker informed her she had been hired. At campus minimum wage, the job would hardly cover the cost of her bio textbooks. Still, combined with the generous scholarships she earned, she would most likely make out alright.
Raelanna felt much more at home in training shorts and a tank top, but today, the occasion called for much less skin and much more polish. Today she decided on a blazer and pant suit combo that fit a little too loosely all over. She had slimmed down since training camp this summer. The demands of college sports proved to be a sharp incline from what she was used to in high school. The women ran longer, fought harder, and brought a new level of grit to the playing field. Daily 5k runs, weekly bouting, and monthly fitness testing were staples in their regimens. The assistant had even given them a log to keep track of their diet. Not to mention the endlessly complicated drills. Still, Rae was up for the challenge. She had committed herself to rising to the top before, and she would do the same here. Whatever it took, even if it meant extra hours on the field. Even if it mean finding a hair braider in the middle of bumbuster Minnesota. Even if that meant putting on a bright face for patrons checking out far too many books.
"Do you...? You're checking out?"
"Yeah, just as soon as I can get these damn things on the- shit!" The stack of items that towered over the patron's head slowly tottered this way, then that, splaying across the ground. "Well, that was bound to happen," she chuckled at the air. "The gods have ordained it."
"Yes, these are all mine in case you are wondering. And yes, I am majorly behind on my critiques. And yes, I'm thiiiis close to blowing the whole thing off. But," she said, setting the last video on the counter, "I won't."
The woman had an interesting beauty to her. Her angular yet full features gave her a serious look, unlike any person Rae had ever seen before. Not to mention her style. Bowler hat, shoulder length locs, thrifted red over jacket, oxfords. She had a look about her as if she had seen half the world already. Her confident cool made Raelanna even more conscious of her own fumbling silence.
"Not that you asked for any of that," the interesting lady smirked.
"No, no, it's fine, I just- What is all this for?"
"Film majors. We do it all. I happen to be finishing my thesis on queer representations in black media. All these here."
"Oh." Rae looked closer at the titles in her hands. They didn't
seem
gay. Still, that didn't stop her from scanning them quickly, a warm flush creeping up her neck.
"Trust me, probably two came from this library," she scoffed. "The rest I had to order through the library share. Once I finish the literary critiques, I publish the paper along with my film's premier. Come check it out. It's showing next Friday."
"Uh, well, I'd have to check my practice schedule." The truth was, Rae's Friday evenings were wide open. On Fridays, the team had 5 am practices. Rae had never been to an indie film screening, let alone one about queer, black people. The thought was daunting — more daunting than a one on one face up, more daunting than being the only Black American on her team.
"No worries, then. Just think about it."
Raelanna had no time to think about anything except the team's next matchup Saturday. A win against the Brewers would determine if they could still contend for the conference championship. A loss meant another year on the road to glory, another year at Triton. But a win? A win meant opportunity. Rae didn't waste opportunities, which explained how she ended up at this university in the first place. Partial scholarships for academics and athletics amounted to nearly a full ride to one of the best biomedical engineering programs in the country. For free, she figured she could stay anywhere for a few years.
So she couldn't think about movies, and she certainly couldn't think about how that mystery woman smiled at her. How much she liked the way she smiled at her. How she wished they could smile at each other more often.
Stupid
, she thought to herself. Her name was on her library account, but she hadn't stopped looking at her long enough to notice.
Rae laced her cleats tighter than usual and tucked in her shin guards with extra care. She planned to release everything on the field. As she exited the locker room, she walked into her captain, Laura.
"Jones, you hitting the field?"
Rae still hadn't gotten used to the last name thing. Back home, girls called each other by their first names. To her ears, last names sounded so...
footballish
.
"Uh, yeah, I'm going to cover those drills we did the other day. I felt a little sluggish on them."
"Sluggish? You bested half the starting line yesterday." Rae quietly took the compliment. "I've seen you out there, Jones. Now I want to play against you. Get your ass out there and get ready for me."
On the field, Rae had done her ritual deep breathing while waiting for Laura. The forward sauntered over with a demeanor that revealed her certainty about winning. Not many would challenge Laura's confidence. Laura moved lightly on her feet for a six footer. Rae knew that, mentally. She had watched her dance past defenders regularly in games, but it would be another issue to face her physically, to buffet the roaring truck at her full force. Besides that, the few extra years of training had added additional slabs of muscle onto her frame, while Rae still stood lean at 5'8". Despite all this, the smaller, less experienced competitor took a final deep breath and sized up her opponent.
Laura was good, no doubt, but Rae knew that even winners lost under the right conditions. She had experienced it firsthand. If she couldn't out muscle Laura, she would outsmart her. If she couldn't match her in speed, she would redeem herself with patience. Rae owned her own game, meaning that she was seldom forced to play in ways that disadvantaged her. On the field, she had a degree of control over her environment she rarely experienced out of uniform. Out here, she played as though she had made the rules of the game.
Take it easy
, Rae coached herself.
Bring the ball up at your own pace. Each move should put you closer to that goal.
Rae held her own in their one to one matchup, out maneuvering the older opponent. In keeping her distance, she was able to create a steady pace forward, which created opportunities. Still, neither woman could get a breakaway advantage until Laura charged at Rae, minimizing the distance between them to zero. In the fray, she crushed Rae's foot, sending her careening backwards off balance, leaving the goal wide open.
"You've got a lot of work ahead of you if you think you can be me — Hell, if you even want to think about beating me." Laura, pleased with her work, stepped over her bested opponent's body and made her way off the field.
"Wait," Raelanna said, wiping her face. She brought herself up on her elbows, and took her stand. "We're best of five. You talk a lot for one little point."
Laura's eyes narrowed, deciding who the girl in front of her would be to her, friend or foe. She broke off into laughter. "I like that fire in you, kid. I've gotta go anyway, but come out with us tonight. There's a party at Delta Phi you should come to. All the right people will be there. The way I see it, I'm on my way out of here. If you get in with them, you could have a shot. First a starter, then who knows? Maybe you could be me after all."
I don't want to be you,
Rae thought,
I'm going to dwarf you. And I won't have to cheat to do it.
Rae hadn't had much time to dress after coming from the lab, but she gave herself a once-over before stepping out her dorm. Chuck Taylors, casual blazer over a graphic tee, and form fitting skinnies seemed right for the occasion. Seeing the time, she raced out her dorm toward Laura's place.
Hearing the festivities inside, Rae rang the bell. When no one answered, she rang again. Then she knocked — still no answer. She had just turned to leave when she heard rattling by the door.
"It's not a theme party, so I hope you didn't wear anything... ghetto fabulous. Save that for Thugs & Pugs," Laura called from behind the door. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not racist. Actually I try to be diverse. Just not that diverse. You understand. Anyway, where are your heels? We're going to a party not a playground. Get in here," she sighed, pulling Rae through the open door.
Rae swallowed Laura's words before calling out, "Hey everybody." No one looked up, save Alissa. They were all busy nursing their drinks and swaying to the music.
"Drinks in the back, party games up front, condoms in the bathroom. The whole team is here so, work it," Laura nudged. "I'll be back after I finish my makeup."
This was the first party the team had invited her to. In fact, this was the first social outing outside of something soccer related she had been invited to. It felt like a big deal. If her teammates enjoyed her off the field and respected her as one of their own, she'd be much more likely to make captain, be awarded, lead them to the fin-
"You can't be here without a drink," someone, a someone affiliated with the team, slurred. Rae acquiesced, going to the back to pour herself a cup of the bluish-green liquid. One sip told her she'd do best to leave it to the professional partigoers. She brought the cup with her and hovered outside the circle of players with cards.
"So, what's the name of the game?" Rae asked.
"You've never played?" Rae didn't bother lying. She was a terrible liar. "This is a classic, newbie. Irish Poker. Each card has a different action with it."
"Mostly drinking," Alissa chimed in.
By the time Laura made her way downstairs, Rae had downed half her cup, despite her noble intentions.
"Ready bitches?" Rae followed the others, trailing after Laura to the party.
The team received entry to the party without ID or cover fee. One of the perks of the sports life, Laura explained. But they hadn't been to the party over ten minutes before Raelanna was thoroughly ready to leave. By this point in the evening, the partygoers were sloshing, full of alcohol, and any semblance of social filter had dissipated.
"Heeyyy," one of Rae's teammates grabbed her a little too roughly by the arm, "show us how to twerk! C'mon! Twerk! Twerk! Twerk!"
Rae had never twerked a day in her life. She'd never caught the unction.
"Actually, I'm going to go find the punch bowl," Rae said, reclaiming her arm.
"Yaaasss, go get a baby daddy, girl!" another shrieked.
Rae fought down embarrassment and anger. Making a good impression was more important to her than blowing a few stupid comments out the water. If she could somehow find a way to relate to them, maybe they'd realize the error of their ways. There was no way to mend tension unless people from both sides were willing. She decided to cool off, and perhaps return when the top 40s started to play.
"Watch it, black bitch," a stumbling bro gargled.
Thoughts of peace and mediation were quickly fleeing Raelanna's mind.
"Who the fuck do you think you are Steven Tyler? Get the hell away from here! Yeah, you with the gorilla face. Just go!"
Rae looked up to find the lady from the library standing between her and the dudebro, staring him straight in the eyes. He snatched away his cups, departing without another word.
