CHAPTER FIVE: THE ULTIMATUM
Monday morning, I woke up with the full knowledge of what was to come; Bridgette had sent me a text that seethed behind a thin veil of professionalism. 'Daisy, I hope you understand that I have an obligation to my own integrity to bring this to Oliver. I couldn't be part of compromising the ethics of our workplace. Toodles!'
Toodles.
She said 'toodles.'
When I washed my hair and exfoliated my skin, it felt like I was sending my career down the drain along with the grime I'd accumulated over the weekend. I'd spent both of my days off rotting in bed with takeout and movies, ignoring my phone and repeatedly groaning at the many injustices of the world -- even though I knew this entire situation was my own fault. Several voicemails from Blythe -- she didn't text -- sat in my inbox. I hadn't mustered the strength to listen to them yet.
After parking my car in the employee lot, I walked into the office in a black skirt and black blouse, figuring that a mourning outfit was appropriate given the circumstances. It felt like everyone was looking at me and exchanging biting whispers like I was in middle school again, feeling two feet tall after getting caught doodling my crush -- a girl -- in the middle of class.
As I settled into my desk, trying to ignore the dark cloud of anxiety that seemed to follow me like a shadow, my desk phone lit up with an incoming call. With a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I saw line one blinking red. The line that meant an incoming call from the upstairs offices. Oliver, or worse. I took a deep breath and answered it. "Daisy Prince."
"Good morning," Oliver's voice came through the line, sounding unusually formal compared to our normal repartee. Fuck.
"Morning, Oliver," I replied, trying to keep my tone steady despite the nerves that churned in my stomach.
"I need to see you in my office," Oliver said, his tone crystal clear. "Right away."
"Of course."
I hung up the phone and made my way to Oliver's office, my heart pounding in my chest. As I entered the room, Oliver looked up from his desk, his expression unreadable. He'd always been a friendly mentor. We'd bonded over our shared experience as queer people in this industry and he'd always pushed me to be my best. Shame rose in my cheeks. It felt like I'd betrayed everything he'd worked to teach me over the years.
"Go ahead and have a seat," Oliver said, gesturing to the chair opposite his desk. His graying brows were knitted together. Oliver sighed, running a hand over his bald head -- old habits die hard -- before fixing me with a stern gaze. Tone grave, he said, "I'll cut right to the chase, Daisy. Bridgette informed me about what happened at the party."
My heart plummeted at his words, the full weight of the situation crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. My mind raced as I tried to come up with any words to defend myself, but there was nothing I could stammer out. It was what it was. And it was a mess.
"I don't need an explanation or a defense or anything from you. What I need is for you to understand the seriousness of the situation," he said, his voice firm, and I nodded. "Sleeping with an interview subject is completely unacceptable. This reflects incredibly poorly on not only you as a journalist but on Ms. Sloan and on our publication."
I felt a surge of panic rising within me, the reality of the situation sinking in with brutal clarity. I replied, my voice barely above a whisper, "I understand. Completely and totally."
Oliver nodded. "Good. Because I'm afraid I have to be blunt here. You're a talented reporter and writer, an asset around the office, and a valuable part of your team. But standards are standards and rules are rules. We have them to protect ourselves. If you want to salvage your career, you need to end whatever is going on between you and Ms. Sloan. Effective immediately."
Even though I knew it was coming, it was a punch to the gut, and my tensed muscles only made the blow bruise harder. My voice catching in my throat, I tried to offer up some compromise, "But, I could-"
"There are no buts," Oliver said, his tone unwavering. "This is non-negotiable. If you refuse to comply, I'll have no choice but to bring this to the board. And they're going to recommend I demote you at the very least. Frankly, you're lucky Bridgette brought this to me and not the EIC, much less some tabloid like I'm sure she was foaming at the mouth to do."
As the weight of Oliver's ultimatum settled over me like a suffocating blanket, I felt hopeless. Looking down at my shoes, I said, "Consider it done."
"Good." Oliver stood up and moved toward the office door. With his hand on the latch, ready to dismiss me, his expression softened and he said, "Look, this is a hiccup, or at least it can be if you bounce back. You're young. It's not like this was a married governor or something. It's not like you were coerced or manipulated. In fact, in another life, I could see the two of you in a great relationship. I mean, the similarities are obvious." Realizing he wasn't helping, Oliver sighed and said, "I'm sorry this is how things are, but I have no doubt you'll make the right choices moving forward."
"Thanks, Oliver. I really appreciate it." I stood up, avoiding looking at him, and walked through the open door. "I'll see you at the pitch meeting this afternoon."
"Just remember what I always say."
I rolled my eyes and recited one of his many contradictory affirmations: "Keep your chin up and your head down."
And I walked back to my desk in the open newsroom.
Caught between my career and my heart, I knew that whatever decision I made would shape the course of my future. I knew, logically, that I hadn't known Blythe very long. This was a new thing, not even a 'relationship' yet. The objective part of myself that I'd been honing for years told me it was an obvious choice, easy to make.
But.
And it felt like a pretty significant 'but.'