Thank you for reading my story, I hope that you enjoy it. Love Mica xx, Yorkshire England.
Please note that I am a British female, and I write in British English and vernacular, so for me a fanny is the correct term for female genitalia, a pussy is a pet cat, and the ass is a bum or arse.
I apologise for any typo errors in my story - I edit these myself, and I'm not perfect...
Most people don't realise how much or how little people who are blind can actually see. I can see movement, shapes, colours, and if I get really close, I can see some detail, but that is as far as it goes, I really can't see enough to enjoy a film or read a book, and my brain really doesn't like the radio, they broadcast for sighted people, not the partially sighted.
I have been this way since birth, my brain just didn't really learn to see. My parents have been brilliant but I know that they struggled to cope, not that they ever let me see that struggle. They didn't have any more children after me, they blamed themselves you see, and my Auntie told me that they both got themselves sterilised so that they couldn't accidentally produce more damaged babies.
That is how they see me, damaged, but they would ever say that in front of me, oh no, they would never ever say anything that might upset me. That is one of the reasons I had to get away. I now live in council supported housing, it gives me my freedom, such that I can have, and allows Mum and Dad to have some of their lie back, they are not constantly reminded of what they have lost if I am not there.
They do ring me every day and call around a few times in the week, but I am cool being on my own, it doesn't bother me that I can't really see, I see things with my hands, I rub my palms and fingers over everything and it gives me an image in my mind and then when I get up close I can fill in the gaps with what little sight I actually have.
Where I live there was a communal coffee bar that is open during the day. It seemed like a good idea to go and drink coffee and meet people. There were people from all walks of life on the estate, but I think I was the only blind girl, certainly no one else seemed to be. I was sat on one of the easy sofas drinking coffee when someone sat next to me.
"Hi," A female voice said, "mind if I join you?"
"Not at all, sorry, but I cannot see you." That was my way of saying I was blind, without saying I was blind.
"No worries, I am not much to look at anyway." Oh, my goodness, low self-esteem.
"Well, I wouldn't know unless you let me see you with my hands."
"How does that work?"
"Oh, I run my hands over you, and that gives me a picture of you in my mind, and then, perhaps, I move my face up real close and then I can see a bit of you, and it adds to the picture in my mind."
"Oh my God that sounds fantastic, go on, yes, do it, feel me." Her voice sounded excited and strange to my ears, people never seemed to respond like that, and I had thought her despondent when she first spoke.
I turned in the sofa to face her, "take my hands and put them on your cheeks," I said, it saved me accidentally poking her in the eyes.
I felt her hands on mine, warm hands, soft hands, and then she was pulling my hands, and I was on her cheeks. She let go of my hands and I gently roamed across her face, feeling her nose, smooth, small bulb at the end, no hump in the middle of her bridge, a small philtrum beneath her nostrils. Her lips felt full and were slightly moist, and as I ran my fingers over them her mouth slightly opened, and I heard a small sigh.
Her chin was rounded, and her neck was tight beneath, smooth and lead down to her dΓ©colletage, her blouse was unbuttoned a little, I heard her gasp softly as I touched. I moved back up, my hand sliding over her cheeks back to her forehead, her eyebrows were plucked and neat, her glabella just a small void between her brows. Her forehead was smooth, wrinkle free and her hair was pulled back, perhaps into a pony. I felt I should stop there.
"God, you are gorgeous," I said, "I bet you have all the boys pestering you. Thank you for letting me see you."
I heard her swallow and then she asked, "did you not want to move up close?"
"God, yes, but I thought I had intruded enough, I did not want to invade your space."
I felt her hands on my head, and she pulled me to her, and there she was, her nose, right in front of me, I could see it, still blurry, but some definition was there. I moved a little, her eyes were blue, and down across her flushed cheeks, to her mouth, her lips were red, impossibly red, lipstick I thought, her breath escaping through her lips as my eyes passed close by.
I leant back, my breath seemed caught somehow in my throat. "You are beautiful," I said, my voice strangled as I tried to speak.
"Thank you, that was the most intense experience I have ever had. My name is Naomi."
"Hello Naomi, I am Petra."
I reached down and picked up my coffee, I was all at sixes and sevens, that had been an intense moment for me too, I didn't really know what to say, I was unused to small talk, and my breath was still struggling, the intensity of that seeing had made me feel all funny in places I didn't expect to feel funny.
"Petra," she asked, "can I ask you something personal?"
"Yes," my answer falling like a gasp, what could she want to know?
"Do you have anyone special?"
Oh, that, everyone always seems to have someone, everyone except me that is. I had never really got around to having someone. I mean, where do you find someone? I can't easily see anyone, I can't tell if they are smiling or scowling, so I just don't bother.
"Oh. Gosh, er, no, not at the moment, no."
"Oh my, that is such a shame, I know that feeling, me either."
"But you are so pretty."
"It doesn't seem to help, and anyway, you are really pretty yourself, so as you know, that doesn't count for much."
I was silent, she had called me pretty. Was I? Only my Dad had ever said I was pretty, and he doesn't count, it is the law for Dads to think their daughters are pretty.
"Oh, gosh, you think? Thank you, no one has said that before."