How do people actually come to terms with themselves, wondered Melissa, idly staring at nothing in particular. She had asked herself that question again and again over the years and, still, she had no answer. The inability to face up to her true nature had finally reached a point she could no longer tolerate! But what to do about it? That continued to elude her. "Shit!"
"Well that's a fine howdy-do," chuckled Brenda.
Startled, Melissa looked up and saw her best friend standing in front of her desk. "Sorry... I.. uh... guess I was daydreaming and didn't see you come in," was her embarrassed reply.
"Ya think?"
"Ok ok, I WAS daydreaming."
"I'm sure glad we got THAT cleared up," laughed Brenda.
"You always have to be the smartass, don't you," observed an amused Melissa.
"You know it, so stop you're bitching, get your pretty ass out of that chair and let's get the hell out of here. It's Friday, work time is over and time's a wasting, so move it girl!"
"You can be such a bossy broad, you know that."
"And your point is?"
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
Brenda laughed herself silly, so enjoying the ease with which she could irritate her best friend.
As was usual on a Friday night, The Lamp Lighter Lounge was packed by the time they got there. The two friends fought their way through the mob of squirming bodies on the dance floor, only to find all tables were taken. Luckily, they managed to commandeer two just-vacated seats at the bar.
"Well that was fun," quipped Brenda grumpily, sitting down.
"Now who's the one doing the bitching," giggled Melissa.
"Button it," came the stern reply.
"Or what," teased Melissa, "you gonna send me to my room?" Her uncontrollable laughter brought questioning stares from all those around them.
"It's not my fault we had to stop at your place first so you could change. How many times have I told you to bring an extra outfit with you so that won't happen!"
Brenda was right. Melissa had been in such a funk that morning from over sleeping she'd completely forgotten it was Friday and that she'd be getting together with Brenda after work. She was half-way to the office by the time she remembered so there was no time left to remedy the situation. Now she was paying the price.
"I'm sorry babe, I completely forgot. Forgive me?" she asked in her best sweet-little-girl imitation.
"I'm sorry too Mel," replied Brenda ruefully, "it's just that I've been a bit depressed lately so I get irritable at the drop of a hat".
"Hey look, why don't we got out of here and go back to my place where we can relax and unwind in peace," said Melissa, quickly standing up.
"You sure you don't mind?"
"Hell no. It's too crowded and noisy here anyway."
The drive back had been a silent one. Brenda was obviously more troubled than Melissa had realized. Her silence was so uncharacteristic it was almost frightening. The two had been best friends since childhood and there wasn't anything they hadn't been able to share with each other. Or almost anything, Melissa reminded herself. So the silence now was more than a little disturbing.
Back at her apartment, they were sitting on the couch sipping their drinks when Melissa finally broke the long silence. "Ok babe what the hell's going on?" she asked with much concern in her voice.
With tears in her eyes, Brenda looked over at her closest and dearest friend but was unable to speak a single word. How could she when what was on her mind was the unthinkable?
"No matter what it is, I'm here for you," said Melissa softly, encouragingly.
Oh girl if you only KNEW, thought Brenda as the tears swiftly became a deluge streaming down her face. Her hushed sobs turned into all out cries of anguish as she covered her face with her hands to hide the horrible shame burning deep inside her soul.
Melissa quickly moved over beside her friend and wrapped her in her arms and held her the way a mother cradles a terrified infant. "Ssssssssssh," she whispered soothingly as she began gently rocking Brenda back and forth. "Whatever's bothering you, it's ok baby, I'm right here with you and I'll keep you safe... so safe baby... I promise."
Brenda desperately grabbed on to Melissa and squeezed tightly, murmuring a barely audible thank you as her arms enveloped this precious friend of hers. Sighing deeply, she let her head slowly sink onto Melissa's comforting, feminine shoulder.
As she did so, Melissa felt tremors rumbling deep inside her body, the unmistakable call of the all-too-familiar feelings she'd known most of her life. They were hurriedly building up and spreading throughout her body. Feelings she shouldn't be having at this moment- hot, hungry, sexual feelings. Those sordid, disgusting, unnatural feelings she'd had for Brenda ever since they were sixteen.
Even after all these years she'd never been able to get that one glorious picture of Brenda out of her mind. They were at Mary Ellen Mackie's house for a pool party- inside- changing into their swim suits- Brenda naked, her perfectly shaped body completely exposed to a very mesmerized young girl's lustful stares. A body that radiated carnal sensuality with every movement. Having developed early, Brenda was fully matured at the tender young age of sixteen.
Melissa could visualize every single detail of that scene with such vivid clarity, it all easily could have been happening right now; Brenda bending over- her huge, heavy breasts dropping into the almost non-existent red bikini top- straightening up, chest out, hands behind her back securing it- her luscious legs stepping into the skimpy thing that was a sorry excuse for a bottom- then her posing in front of the full-length mirror, modeling herself, running her hands up her bare thighs then back down her creamy, mostly-exposed ass. Breathtaking!
The rest of the day had been nothing but pure torment for Melissa. Watching Brenda in the pool playing volley ball. Her big breasts slapping excitedly against the water as she fought for the ball- giant nipples jutting out so far they nearly tore off that useless top - water cascading off her succulent, plump bottom when she stepped out of the pool- her body shimmering in the sunlight, almost crying out for Melissa to ravage it to her heart's content!
Snapping back to the present, Melissa realized she was quivering with unrestrained lust and desire, her mind having been so consumed by those unnatural thoughts of long ago. It was also impossible for her to ignore that heavenly flow puddling in her panties right at the delicate spot where her legs met.
She pulled Brenda closer and buried her head in her friend's soft, golden hair. What was she going to do, she wondered anxiously as an icy, malevolent fear suddenly invaded her belly. How could she possibly keep living this lie!
Brenda's mind was still reeling with savage torment even as her crying began to subside. So many conflicting and contradictory thoughts and emotions, she realized. They couldn't continue. She knew she'd never survive if they did. But what to do about it. Now THERE was a question!
She'd never been sure when it first began, but she certainly did know the impact it had on her. How could she not know when her body was so eager to keep reminding her time after time after time. But how in god's name could Brenda ever tell her most cherished friend she was in love with her. HOW!
She couldn't. It was that simple.
Yet how could she ignore the blissful wonder she felt being held in Melissa's arms like this. So close, their bodies seemed to melt together. It felt so perfect. So right! All the pain she was experiencing wasn't enough to keep her body from responding to Melissa the instant she was taken into her arms. Her nipples sprang to life so fast they hurt like hell as their two bodies came together. Such awful hunger and need for Melissa! Oh my god!!!
"Are you ok?" she heard Melissa ask.
"No," was all she could say.
"My poor, poor baby, it'll be ok... I promise... I'm right here with you and I'm not going anywhere."
STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, Brenda wanted to scream! Don't you know what you're doing to me, godamn you! But Brenda said nothing. Instead, she pushed herself harder against Melissa, as if doing so could bind them together forever.
Melissa gasped excitedly as Brenda's body moved so intimately up against her. Even if she had tried, she knew she never would have been able to keep her hand from tenderly stroking Brenda's tear-soaked face. Some things are just plain impossible! Her need for this beautiful woman was too great and so far past the point of no return it was ridiculous. It was now or never she realized, and NEVER was no longer an option!
With her mind finally made up, Melissa let the back of her hand travel along Brenda's face, slowly gliding down her neck and calmly coming to rest on Brenda's heaving chest. Receiving no negative reaction, she let her hand continue across the top of Brenda's big breast until it nudged up against the most exciting thing she'd ever touched- one of Brenda's gigantic, and surprisingly erect, nipples!
That simple contact unleashed a seething fury between Melissa's legs that sent her flying. Her steamy lips and smoldering clitoris would burst into flames any second now if she didn't stop what she was doing- if indeed she could stop!
A low, hushed gasp escaped Brenda's lips when Melissa's hand touched her incensed nipple, igniting in her an excitement, the likes of which she'd never before experienced. Wild, confused thoughts rushed through her brain as her body screamed for more. Could Melissa know what she had just done? Was that possible? Could she too want what Brenda wanted so desperately? Never, Brenda realized, quickly falling back into a deep, dark despondency.
Suddenly, she felt Melissa's hand on the move again, maneuvering itself off her breast and onto her belly. Lower and lower it went, coming to rest at the hem of her sweater. Then fingers were sneaking underneath, grazing bare flesh as they slowly began their assent upwards, higher and higher.
Brenda held her breath, so eager for what would happen next. She dared not speak for fear of blowing what may well be the moment she'd been praying for all her adult life. But nothing happened. The seconds ticked by. Silence. Melissa was suddenly a statue- totally mute and immobile. Even her breathing had ceased! Oh my god, how can this be happening, a voice screamed inside her head! Shit, shit, shit!!!
