I got home from work around five thirty and there were a couple new messages on the machine. Mum wanted to do lunch the next week, little sister needed a ride to the mall, blah blah blah. But then a familiar voice struck a chord in my brain: "Hello? Oh, shit, this is your machine. Damn. Hi, Lucy. It's Blake." She sounded a little unsure of herself. "Uhm, I was wondering if you wanted to come to this party at Sam's house tonight. There'll be some drinks and some bud---you know, like any party at Sam's place. But I thought it'd be really cool if you'd come with me---" she paused and cleared her throat. "Err---come along with me?" Then she groaned and tried not using the word "come" by asking, "Be my arm candy?"
I laughed.
"Anyway," she sighed. "Gimme a call back whenever, hopefully before tonight." Click.
I dialed her number without even thinking and it rang forever.
"Hey there, sugar!" she giggled into the phone. "I'm glad you called."
"Yeah, I got your message just now."
"How was work?"
"Alright. Could use a good opportunity to blow off some steam, though. Any suggestions?"
She giggled again. "Uh, we started a little early over here, but I think I could rustle up someone to come getcha. Sound good?"
"Yeah, totally. Just gimme a few minutes to make myself gorgeous."
"Not a chance!" she yelled, laughing some more. "You're never not gorgeous! Ten minutes!" And then she hung up on me.
I barely changed my shirt and shoes, re-applied my eye makeup and put on some strawberry lip balm before there was a car outside my building, honking impatiently. I grabbed my bag and ran out the door. Blake had sent Skinny Sam herself to pick me up. "What're you doing here, man?" I laughed in disbelief, flopping down in the passenger seat of her little crappy car. "This is your party we're going to!"
"Yeah, well..." Sam groaned. "Blake said I couldn't start drinking until she heard back from you and found out of you needed a ride or not." She hooked her boney wrist on the inside of her steering wheel and put her arm on the back of my seat, turning her head and the wheel as she backed up.
"But I didn't need a ride," I laughed. "I coulda driven myself."
"Ahh, no worries," she shrugged, rubbing her nose and looking over at me as she shifted the car into gear. "Don't think she wanted you to have a ride home tonight, anyway."
The last time I'd seen Sam was graduation. She was one of the most laid back girls I'd ever met, so I didn't think it was possible for her to look even more comfortable now that she did then. All she had on was gray yoga pants and a green tank top; not even a bra. Her hair was all piled up on top of her head in a sloppy bun, but she looked so good that I didn't even care she was probably wearing what she'd slept in the night before. "I have hot friends," I thought to myself. "Anyways, thanks for coming to get me, doll."
Sam's huge house was throbbing with music. The whole structure seemed to shake and rattle to the beat, but somehow managed to remain standing. When we walked in, Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog" was blaring so loud I could barely hear Sam telling me to follow her into the basement. I was surprised by how many people were there, though. Sam actually had to push through the throng to get to the back stairs. The air was laced with pot smoke, some kind of vanilla perfume and a mixture of dark spices, all very sweet and thick, hanging around us. But the bodies made the smell move; it was like a living thing, dancing with my senses and following me down the stairs.
The basement was darker and cooler, lit with reds and yellows for warmth, but still strangely chilly. It woke me up from the sleepy world upstairs.
Long arms wrapped around me from behind and somebody's teeth sank lightly into my neck while the person laughed in my ear. "Hey, babe!" her voice scratched. "I'm glad you came to party with us..."
I spun around and met Blake's bloodshot eyes.
"I'm afraid I've smoked myself stupid, dear Lucy," she grinned. "And I hope you forgive my biting you on the neck, there. Don't think I took anything with me."
I laughed at her. "You're fine. What is there to drink around here?"
She linked arms with me and lead me over to the table on the other side of the room. We walked on our toes, avoiding all the pillows and blankets strewn about the floor. "We built a fort earlier," she explained. "Then it just kind of collapsed, and we all kind of disbursed into its remains." Her voice went up and down in ways I'd never heard before. "And people like Mike, over there," she pointed at another guy I graduated with, sitting in the corner with his hand down the back of a blonde girl's pants and his mouth all over her neck and chest. "Mike seized the opportunity to snag little Chelsea before anybody else did. I'm sure all the ecstasy she's taken is only adding to whatever fun they're having."
"Looks like this is shaping up to be an alright party, then," I shrugged.
She opened a cooler and pulled a Coke out for me. "I made sure we had some just for you, because I don't know if you feel like drinking tonight."
I smiled. She had been thinking about me. "Pour me a drink anyway, would you?"
We stood around and chatted with some other people at the party. Sam kept popping in between us and babbling about how mad she was at her latest squeeze. "Remind me to never fall for another bisexual, okay?" she yelled at Blake over the music. I could only raise my eyebrows and pick up on the little pieces of the conversation that I did, but it got to a point where I had no idea what they were talking about. Something that happened two or three years ago with this girl I couldn't remember ever meeting.
I stared off, listening to a low, cool version of "The Sky is Crying" with the volume cranked all the way up. I was used to hearing this song played by a big band; two or three guitarists feeding off of each other, an organ screaming in the background... This version was simpler. One quiet voice crooning, one guitar with some slide, a little piano and some light drums in the middle. It had an intoxicating rhythm, almost lazy but not sloppy. I found myself swaying back and forth, trying not to slosh my drink out of the big red cup. There wasn't much to slosh by the time Blake took the cup from my hands and set it on a nearby table. "You drifted away a bit, there, Luce. I didn't mean to bore you."
I opened my mouth to tell her I was sorry and she wagged a finger at me.
She shook her head and took my hand, leading me into the middle of the room. "Can I have this dance, since you seem to like this song anyway?"
I only nodded. I didn't know what to do from there.
She stepped in to me and put a hand on my right hip, grabbing my left wrist and leading my hand to hers. "You don't have to be so rigid, Lucy. I'm not gonna try anything right here in front of everybody."
She was having a nod at the frantic voicemail I'd left her after she'd left my place the other morning. She was at work already, so I had no choice but to spill in the few short minutes you have to leave a voicemail: "Blake? It's Lucy. I feel like such an ass for doing this, but I'm kind of freaking out right now. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if you didn't have to work today, but I keep thinking, 'What does this mean? What did I do?' And I know I could just call and ask, 'Okay, does this mean you're my girlfriend?'" I laughed at myself. "Well, I guess I just did. But that's not what I wanna know. I don't even know if I really wanna know anything. I just wanna get something off my chest. And all that is that I can't have a girlfriend right now. I can't have anything. Because I still find myself getting home at the end of the day and thinking, 'Yes, a little time to myself.' And I don't wanna share that with anybody."
She laughed while I blushed. "I thought it was sweet, but I didn't mean to bring it up, you know?" I spun around so I didn't have to face her and she pulled me right up against her body and held me there, rocking her hips to the slow beat of the song. I could only sigh. "Don't be embarrassed," she continued to giggle, snaking those arms further around me. "I'm just glad that you're here, whether you wanna get involved or not."
Despite the cool air in the room, I felt my temperature rising and my skin got stickier the longer I was near her. I reached back and grabbed onto her hips again, pushing back against her and wanting to feel her push against me. Dancing with Blake was no different from dancing with anyone else, but she made me feel like I had to feel as much of her on me as possible or I was doing something wrong. My hips went where her hips went, and hers did the same with mine. Song after song and we were moving to the same rhythm each time. Then her hands began to wander around my torso. One arm crooked up and I felt her hand flatten below my breastbone, running slowly up and scratching my chest lightly. I heaved a breath and gripped her jeans in both hands, pulling her to me even more.
"Take it easy, Blake," I said quietly, chewing on my lip while the heat between us continued to grow. "Everybody's watching."
"They don't see a thing," she whispered, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the floor. We ran up the stairs to the first level, then up another flight of stairs to the bedrooms.
"I know we don't want to get involved," she said quietly, running her finger so lightly across my bottom lip that I gasped at how much it tingled and tickled. She smiled, "But I really like being with you; being near you... And I really just wanna hear you come again."
I grinned, my semi-drunken state making my brain swirl with memories of the other morning. "I couldn't have said it better, myself."
She dragged me into, what I assumed was, the guest bedroom by my head, backing her way in and kissing me while she pulled me toward her. I ripped off my shirt and tossed it away, immediately going for hers. The stereo was on in the room: metallic, thumping music throbbed inside us like a pulse. She shoved me onto the bed and undid my jeans, pulling them off and throwing them on the floor, then quickly tying her hair back and jumping on top of me.