Sylvia finds the "Female Sexual Solutions" website to help her cure her frigidity. She suspects it's a scam, but she's so desperate that she orders it anyway. She gets more than she bargained for, as it drives her to constant arousal.
Frustration
"Damn, Sylvia, are you ever going to cum? I've been licking your pussy and clit forever."
"Oh, Stephanie, I'm so sorry. I want to, but it's just not happening."
"I've never had trouble with anyone else before. This is so frustrating."
"Well, how do you think I feel?"
We argue for another half hour like we have many times before and like I have with others. Eventually, she leaves, saying on the way, "I guess this just isn't working, Sylvia, I'm sorry."
I start sobbing, not for the first time. I've been so frustrated lately - well, truth be told, all of my sexual life. Men have never turned me on, and even though women are nice in bed and I've felt pleasant, I've never had an orgasm.
I've tried all sorts of sex toys, but none of them have worked. I've gone to two different sexual therapists to see if my condition is psychological, but they couldn't fix me either.
In desperation, I go to my computer and search online and find a website I hadn't seen before - Female Sexual Solutions.
Ladies, are you unable to achieve sexual satisfaction? You've tried sex and fingers and toys and you still can't get off? Well, look no further. Our scientific regime has been in preparation for two years, and tests on hundreds of women have allowed us to develop a system that guarantees multiple orgasms. In fact, as a Christmas special, we offer:
A 25% discount if ordered before the 15
th
of December
Free express shipping
A complete refund of your purchase price within 14 days if you are not 100% satisfied - we have almost never received a refund request
A 25% commission on referred customers when they purchase
I read dozens of testimonials, all glowing. The price is steep, but I'm so desperate that I order it. I try masturbating every night until I receive it, but I just can't cum.
Arrival
On Saturday afternoon my package arrives. I slam the front door behind me and run to my bedroom. I toss off my robe and jump onto the bed with it. I rip open the package and see an instruction booklet in several languages and an inner sealed package labelled
"DO NOT OPEN UNTIL ALL INSTRUCTIONS HAVE BEEN READ AND UNDERSTOOD!"
The warning is in several languages.
The warning scares me into reading the instructions, against my desire to rip open the inner package straightaway. I find the English instructions.
You have purchased the finest solution for females who cannot achieve orgasm.
The solution is very powerful and IRREVERSIBLE! Once activated, the changes are permanent.
Opening the inner package is your consent to the effects of the solution. You will become a highly erotic and satisfied woman.
If you do not wish to have permanent changes to your sexuality, DO NOT OPEN THE INNER PACKAGE. Pack up everything and return it post-paid to the address shown. You will receive a full refund.
After opening the inner package, please check the contents against the packing list. DO NOT PROCEED IF ANYTHING IS MISSING. Pack it up and return it for a replacement. This is very important.
If you are ready to become a fulfilled, highly sexual woman, please open the inner package. Application instructions are inside.
I worry for a brief moment about the permanent changes and decide, "Fuck it, anything is better than not being able to get off."
Application
I get a pair of scissors and cut the tough inner package open. I see the packing list with activation instructions and check that everything is there:
Applicator (which looks kind of like a rabbit toy, with a dildo and an extension over the clit)
Activation tube
Small tube of personal lubricant
Bottle of pain preventer
Everything is there, so I read the activation instructions:
Make sure you are without distractions for at least an hour. It's best to reserve several hours afterwards, as the process can cause drowsiness.
Prepare your bed with two thick towels laid out.
Take a toilet break.
Get naked below your waist, but have knickers (panties) with you.
Take the items to your bed and lie down comfortably on the towels.
Open and completely drink the bottle of pain preventer. Failure to do this will make the application quite painful, although it will still be effective.
Wait ten minutes for the pain preventer to take effect.
Fit the activation tube firmly onto the applicator, making sure it clicks.
Apply lubricant to the applicator.
Spread your legs and slide the applicator deeply into your vagina. Make sure the extension fits snugly over your clit area.
Put on your knickers and make sure the applicator is snugly held in place.
Relax.
When you are ready, press the button on the end of the applicator and lie back. It will work automatically. It will take 30-45 minutes for the full process, so relax and let it do its work. It will beep upon completion.
Once started, DO NOT REMOVE THE APPLICATOR UNTIL IT HAS FINISHED. This can cause serious damage inside of you.
When the applicator beeps, remove your knickers and dispose of the applicator.